Domonique Sterling and Robert Claiborne
What does one say when we face the brutal murder of two people so young? How are we to find the words to express the devastation in the hearts of Dana and Kevin and their families. Words seem completely inadequate. I know nothing that I can say which will take away the loss you have suffered. Nothing can explain away a tragedy like this. And nothing will replace the pain and suffering in our hearts today.
What I do know is that it is not supposed to be like this. A mother and father are not supposed to be burying their daughter and grandson. When God created this world, the order was that we were to live long lives and it was be every adult child’s right of passage to bury their parents. It is not supposed to be like this. Brothers and sisters should not be confronted with the death of one of their own at such a young age, long before the mysteries of death and such senseless violence can be comprehended. It’s not supposed to be like this with communities living in fear of crime, violence and senseless murders.
It’s not supposed to be like this. A young woman who was only beginning her life, who was sweet and beautiful and intelligent, who was helping out a friend as she always did and doing what she loved most, caring for kids, suddenly having her life taken away, before she ever really got it going. It’s not supposed to be like this. A toddler who you could just sit back and watch in amazement and laughter as explored the world in which he lived, who was fun and lovable and curious now and of course who loved to eat has his life ended prematurely. A child who still was innocent but whose life was seized by the harsh realities of the violence and sin-stained world.
It’s not supposed to be like this. On a beautiful spring day which God has given us and with signs of new life springing all around us in the flowers and trees and the birds and animals and their newborns, and we find ourselves gripped by the darkness of death.
It was not supposed to be this way. I also know that this was not God’s will. God did not aim that gun. God’s finger did not pull the trigger. God did not number the days of a 19 year and a toddler. I also know this: that God is right here with us and he understands our pain and grief, he knows what it means to lose a son to the violence of a senseless murder.
These deaths raise serious questions in our hearts and minds. Questions about the circumstances and truth behind such a horrible tragedy. Questions about justice. Questions about life and death. Questions about a God who allows something like this to happen. Questions like what do I do now and how can I go on? A blow like this can seemingly take your breath away and drain you of the will and strength to carry on. It can make you so sad and frightened that you feel as if you cannot go on. We must find a way to go on, to continue our lives and to recover that sense of meaning and purpose.
The people who took Domonique and Robert from us must not be allowed to take our lives and our souls too. Every one of us, myself included, has felt the desire for Domonique and Robert’s killers to not only be brought to justice but to suffer death as they did. Profound anger and a desire for revenge is only natural as we seek to come to grips with this terrible tragedy and to come to grips with the reality of it all. But it must not be allowed to direct our lives, lest our lives and our souls become casualties too. Longing for justice and lusting for revenge are two different things. Justice is one part of the healing process. Revenge, on the other hand, is a slow but deadly poison in the soul. It offers us no lasting relief and it makes us no better than the murderers.
For us, there must be another way. The same freedom that allows us to choose life and love and forgiveness also allows us to choose death and hate. Domonique and Robert’s death was brought about by the same kind of cruel and mindless hatred that once nailed Jesus to the cross. It is significant that just hours after Christians across this city and world commemorated the scourging, crucifixion and death of Jesus on the cross that Domonique and Robert were gunned down by the very same kind of violence and sin that put Jesus on the cross in the first place. We know all too well that sin and violence still stain our world, our city and our lives and today is a poignant reminder of that.
And while we may feel today that we stand in the shadow of death and all its violence, we also stand in the light of God and the empty cross. Jesus’ resurrection says profoundly across the millennia that death does not have the last word. Jesus told his disciples that they would mourn his death and there would be others who would celebrate it. Jesus’ killers congratulated themselves on their cunning and cleverness, just as the suspects were doing as they drove away from the apartment after their cowardly act.
God’s word to us is that the agony of this ordeal is not the end of the story. The story ends with life, new dazzling, power-filled, abundant and everlasting life. Jesus compares the grief his friends feel to the pain of childbirth, in which the pain is very real, but is put aside once the mother holds the baby in the her arms. Right now this grief hurts like the torments of hell. But when God opens for us the door to everlasting life with Domonique and Robert and all the others we have lost and mourned, we will no longer remember this pain.
That is the power of the resurrection and it is available to us today as we seek to continue living. It makes all the difference in the world. I had a Jewish fraternity brother and his wife who flew into New Orleans to attend Jazzfest. I picked them up at the airport and drove them back to my house. I encouraged them to unpack, get changed and make themselves comfortable while I went to officiate a funeral. As I was knotting my tie and walking out of my bedroom, David came to me and asked, “What’s a Christian funeral like?” I told him it was a time to give thanks for the life which had been given to us and all of the memories and blessings we will carry forward with us and for the contribution that person made in our lives. It was a time to mourn but also a time to celebrate because we believe that the person hasn’t died but just moved on to eternal life with God and that one day we will be re-united with them. David kind of dropped his head, shuffled his feet and there was one of the longest moments of silence. And then with small tears welling up in his eyes, he looked up at me and said, “I wish I could believe in something like that.” And it was then that I realized what a difference for us the resurrection makes in the face of death. Because we can believe and we do believe. It is the power and the hope of the resurrection which will strengthen us for the days which lie ahead and which will bring healing to us brings us hope.
Our hope is that this world is not the end. Our true home is in heaven, where those who mourn will find comfort, where the meek will inherit the land, where the peacemakers will be called children of God. The hope of the resurrection is that in eternal life God will make complete and make right all those things in this world that seem unfinished and unjust. Our prayer for Domonique and Robert is that God will bring to completion the life that was so tragically cut short. And difficult as it may be, we should also pray for those who did this. We pray that they might realize the depravity of what they have done so that they might repent and accept punishment for this crime. We pray that they will turn away from the hatred and evil that is in their heart, as difficult as this might be.
The resurrection also brings forgiveness. On our own and in the midst of such a senseless and violent tragedy, we find an unending resource of forgiveness upon which to draw. When Jesus appeared to the disciples, they were startled and frightened, and consumed with failure and guilt. But when he uttered again those words he first had spoken to them, “Follow me”, He forgave them. In those words, Jesus was saying, “I’m not done with you yet.” In those words, their pain and loss, his denial and failure were lifted. They were forgiven and then Jesus said, now’s the time to look forward to what lies ahead. But that was only possible because of the forgiveness Jesus offered them. That same forgiveness has been offered us in this moment, and while it may seem a distant possibility to forgive the murderers of this evil act, that can only come through the forgiveness which flows from God to us. And Jesus is not done with us yet either. Don’t think its possible?
Talk to Michelle Richardson-Patterson. Thomas "T.J." Boykin was sentenced for the slaying of her son James, the result of a feud between two public housing complexes. In a time when many of her relatives speak openly of vengeance, of wanting to see the killers suffer for their deeds, she has chosen a less-familiar route: forgiveness. "When I looked at that young man, I saw someone who could have a second chance to rehabilitate himself and come out and be a powerful -- and I mean a powerful -- member of society, but most of all, a powerful servant of God. That’s what I saw." That’s the power of the resurrection and that’s the power of forgiveness. So the question isn’t, “How we can get revenge?” but “How we can give forgiveness?”
This event can only remain senseless if we allow it too. What’s done has been done. We cannot change the past but through the power of the resurrection and the forgiveness of Jesus, we have the power to change the future in light of this terrible tragedy. So the question isn’t, “Why did God allow this to happen?” but rather “How can I allow God to use this for good? For Romans 8:28 testifies, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Don’t think that’s possible in the midst of this tragedy? Talk to Candy Lightner whose daughter, Cari, was killed by a repeat drunk driving offender. Out of her pain and suffering arose Mothers Against Drunk Driving which fights against drunk driving and for victims’ rights in such circumstances. The purpose and meaning of Domonique’s and Robert’s life will only be lifted up not by just remembering them but by what we allow God to bring through us out of this seemingly senseless tragedy.
For in all of this, we need to be reminded that God has a future for us too, it is a future filled with love, healing and forgiveness. There is the story of a small boy who lost his father. Stunned and confused by it all, as the people came streaming into his house to extend their condolences, he climbed a tree and tried to sort it all out. In that moment he said, “Tomorrow will be a better day.” Perplexed and grieving, he tried to look beyond his present pain to a better future. There is a tomorrow for us too in all of this. The pain and loss will be there but so will God’s plan for us in our future. We have a life yet to be lived. There are people who need our presence, our love and our forgiveness. There are whose who need us to serve them and minister to them in this time of need. “Tomorrow will be a better day.” As Jesus hung on the cross, that is what he proclaimed when he cried out his last word, Father, into your hands I commend my spirit” and “It is finished.” That is the power of the resurrection for today and for tomorrow.
