SMALL, BUT POWERFUL
James 3.2-12
S: Tongue
C: Truth and Grace
Th: Our Time, Our Turn, Our All
Pr: DISCIPLE YOUR TONGUE!
I. WORDS
II. TRUTH
III. HEART
IV. WHOLENESS
PA: How is the change to be observed?
• Value words.
• Speak truth.
• Act kindly.
• Bring healing.
Version: ESV
RMBC 17 May 09 AM
ILL Gossip (H)
Racehorse owner E. R. Bradley had all his horses’ names begin with the letter B, including one called Bad News. When someone asked why he gave the horse a name with such a negative connotation, Bradley explained, “Bad News travels fast.”
Well, we have taken a week off from our Prayer Action Plan, but we return to it today.
PRACT
The Prayer Action Plan contains items that we believe we must both pray on and act on – PRACT.
These are areas that we have come to recognize that potentially and actually keep us, as a church family, from fulfilling our God-given mission.
You see, we often think that there are outside forces that are destroying the church (like our culture), but I would contend that Christians do a far more effective job of destroying churches.
It leads us to our…
RENOUNCEMENT: We renounce sins of the tongue, including gossip, unkind words, and judging motives.
All our renouncements are important, but this one is essential to get right, as it deals with our relationships with each other.
We talked about unity two weeks ago, and if we are to get unity, we have to get our relationships right.
ANNOUNCEMENT: We announce that our tongues are to be instruments of Christ.
This organ – grab it – it belongs to Jesus.
AFFIRMATION: We affirm that our tongues were created for praise to God and edification.
What are we going to do with it?
COMMITMENT: We will speak the truth with a positive, affirming spirit to bless others.
We are going to look at James chapter 3, and I want to consider this question…
How does it happen that our tongue has multiple use (James 3.2-12)?
For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.
WORDS
Our words are important.
And they can be used for good.
Or they can be used for hurt.
Now…
We don’t usually mean to hurt people…
But it is amazing the words that will pop out of our mouths.
We don’t plan on saying them.
But it is said, and we are done.
We forget what is said, but the people that hear them do not.
And so often, they are left wounded.
I am amazed how proud people can be of their candid truth-telling.
But they use words that sting.
They crush a person’s spirit, leaving them hopeless and desolate.
Understand this…
Words are powerful.
God is our best example.
God speaks, and creation happens.
He says “light” and He’s got light.
And what is God’s most powerful Word?
It is Jesus.
When God wants to communicate Himself and reveal Himself to us, He sends us the Word.
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.
Jesus.
Our text reveals that words are powerful.
They can destroy like a fire.
They can be toxic, like a poison.
ILL Power (S)
Someone has calculated that for every word in Hitler’s book, Mein Kampf, 125 lives were lost in World War II.
Words are powerful.
And think of all the ways we can use them in an unkind way…
Name calling…
Mockery…
Being critical about weight, clothes, race, gender…
Tell a person to “shut up”…
Threaten a spouse with divorce…
Tell someone that they are just like their father or mother…
Use the words always/never in an exaggerating way, like saying “Pastor Paul is always on Facebook.”
Words are powerful.
Gossip for example…
It is information that is communicated about a person to isolate or harm them.
Gossip often takes the subtle approach.
“Have you heard…”?
“They tell me…”
“Do you think it could be true…?”
“Don’t tell anyone else, but…?”
“This is off the record, but…”
Gossip may take the form of false sympathy: “Isn’t it too bad how he beats his wife?”
Or it may come as a sly question: “Is it true that they are on the verge of a divorce?”
The trouble is that once you have said the words, you can’t take them back.
Words are powerful.
Another area is in judging motives.
I know that since I have resigned, some of you are struggling to understand the “whys” of the resignation.
There are several approaches to this you can take…
You could read between the lines and say, “Pastor Paul is frustrated and mad so he is making a statement by resigning.”
Or you could read between the lines and say, “Pastor Paul is a quitter.”
Coming to either one of those conclusions would be dangerous.
Why?
Because they presumed to know and judge my motive for resigning.
There is a healthier approach though.
Instead of talking to each other, come and talk to me.
Gossip, unkind words, judging of motives…they all call for a change in us.
Which means, we need a new principle.
Value words.
Note this…
God places a high premium on words.
This is why the marriage ceremony has such value.
Words mean things.
When a man and a woman say their vows, it is a powerful event.
They are words of promise that each person speaks – guaranteeing that nothing is going to separate them but God.
TRUTH
Let’s speak about truth.
First, let’s note that…
We can be deceptive.
We need to tell the truth on this, even if it is hard.
We tell white lies.
We flatter.
We exaggerate.
Sometimes we are like Judas when he gave Jesus a kiss – a greeting that revealed that he had a hidden agenda
Sometimes we neglect to give a correction to a false impression.
Sometimes we only give partial truths, which, though technically true, they leave a false impression.
Have you ever been caught in a lie?
It’s a tough moment, isn’t it?
It’s tough, because we suppress the truth until we are cornered.
We do tell lies.
We lie to impress people.
We say we know things that we don’t know.
We say we have done things that we haven’t done.
We say we are experts on things that we aren’t.
One of the requirements that I have during premarital counseling is that I expect each person to tell me the truth, even when I am asking very personal questions.
You see, I do ask personal questions, especially about sexual matters.
But if I don’t get honest answers, I can’t really be of help.
Plus, I remind my couples, if you lie to me, a pastor, you will end up willing to lie to each other.
But here’s the thing.
When you give honest answers, there is a freedom of mind.
I can speak with confidence if I don’t have to worry about what I have said to one person is the same I said to another.
When you do this, you can…
Live with integrity.
It is hard to always get this right.
So when you do get it wrong, the person with integrity will confess it readily.
This is a sign of maturity.
We also show maturity and integrity when we take responsibility for what we say and do.
Especially when it comes out different or received differently than you intended.
Instead of critically saying, “You grossly misunderstood me,” try it differently.
Try, “Perhaps I said this wrong,” or “Maybe I’m not communicating very well.”
You see, we can…
Speak truth.
And we can do it graciously as well…
ILL Criticism (S)
“The Anatomy of a Critic” – John Vawter
Let’s say Jack sits in on a Sunday School class and decides he doesn’t like the way Jim teaches it. So he goes to the education pastor, Jill, and complains about the lesson’s content and Jim’s competency.
Jill later calls up Jim and tells him about Jack’s criticisms. The next Sunday, Jim approaches Jack and says, “I hear you and have some concerns about the class I’m teaching.”
Jack’s face turns red, and he says, “Who told you that?”
“Why, Jill did.”
“She had no right to do that,” Jack yells and storms away.
That afternoon Jill gets a blistering phone all from Jack: “Who gave you permission to tell Jim what I said? You violated my confidence!”
“But Jack, the person who needed to hear this is not me but Jim. I’m not in the class. Jim can’t improve unless you are honest with him.”
“I was a fool for trusting you,” replies Jack, slamming down the phone.
The problem in this scenario was not Jim’s teaching skills. Nor was it Jill’s decision to call Jim and share Jack’s criticisms about him. The basic problem here is Jim’s cowardice. He failed to show the commitment and courage to share his opinions with the person who needed – and deserved – to hear them.
Jack’s actions were those of a sniper. He wanted to fire off his criticisms, camouflaged by anonymity. Without being seen. Without being shot at in return. Without helping Jim grow. And without being held accountable for the casualties.
As we can tell by that story, truth sometimes hurts.
But remember this…
Remember: Rude awakenings are still rude.
Rudeness is never needed.
It accomplishes very little.
And it is a needless offense.
HEART
The problem is not with our mouths, it’s with our hearts.
We need to be courageous and compassionate.
We always want to be in a place where we speak the truth.
But, the courage of candor must always be balanced with compassion.
Sometimes, hard things need to be said.
It does take guts.
But it also takes heart.
It takes a heart dominated by grace.
You see…
We need hearts that love God.
Most of our problems with words, speech, and tongue tem from the fact we don’t love God.
Our concern for God is secondary as we push forth our sense of justice.
And we put down anyone that is in our way.
But when we put down others, it is an insult to His creation and to Himself personally.
Because…
We need hearts that love people.
So many of our tongue and speech problems would go away if we just loved people (even liked them).
Instead, we mock the person whom God loves.
So, I encourage you to…
Act kindly.
We can do this.
Have a humble heart.
Be kind and gentle.
Speak gracious words, especially in the midst of conflict.
It is then we will have…
WHOLENESS
We noted early on in our discussion today that our tongue has multiple use.
It can be used for good or for bad.
It can be a destroyer.
It also can be used for blessing and praise.
For the Christian, we know that it is to be used for the latter.
But somehow, in the normal strains of life, it gets forgotten.
Our focus is distracted and we forget to…
Tell what God has done.
But telling what God has done is our greatest privilege.
For my life and speech to point people toward Jesus is both an honor and a joy.
And the funny thing about this is that when we are talking about how great God is, we don’t have time or a desire to engage in frivolous gossip or critical remarks about others.
We come to realize that our tongue is called to great things.
We speak about how great God is.
And when our conversation is about each other, we want to…
Build up!
Yes, we are to be encouragers.
We are to build into each other.
And do you see what word sits in the middle of encouragement.
It is courage.
This means that we are to build courage into one another.
We give each other courage to face each new day.
ILL Encouragement (S)
The story is told of a reserved man in Vermont who one day blurted out to his wife, “When I think of all you have meant to me all these years, it’s almost more than I can do sometime to keep from telling you so!”
Well, if he really wants wholeness, he’ll tell her, because our relationships are to…
Bring healing.
Think about it for a moment.
Who do you want to be around?
Do you want to be around the person who is critical and unhappy?
No way!
They suck the life right out of you.
We want to be around people that are a joy to us.
We want to be with people that affirm our worth.
They encourage us, inform us, challenge us, love us, forgive us, help us, and they just can’t stop smiling.
We need to be that for others.
ILL Encouragement (S)
Author and Counselor, Dr. Larry Crabb, recalls an incident in the church he attended as a young man. It was customary in this church that young men were encouraged to participate in the communion services by praying out loud. Feeling the pressure of expectation, the young Crabb (who had a problem with stuttering) stood to pray. In a terribly confused prayer, he recalls “thanking the Father for hanging on the cross and praising Christ for triumphantly bringing the Spirit from the grave.”
When he was finished, he vowed he would never again speak or pray out loud in front of a group.
At the end of the service, not wanting to meet any of the church elders who might feel constrained to correct his theology, Crabb made for the door. Before he could get out, an older man named Jim Dunbar caught him.
Having prepared himself for the anticipated correction, Crabb instead found himself listening to these words: “Larry, there’s one thing I want you to know. Whatever you do for the Lord, I’m behind you one thousand percent.”
Crabb reflects in his book on encouragement: “Even as I write these words, my eyes fill with tears. I have yet to tell that story to an audience without at least mildly choking. Those words were life words. They had power. They reached deep into my being.”
Today…
DISCIPLE YOUR TONGUE!
Note I did not say discipline.
Disciple…
The tongue – grab it – need to be discipled.
It needs to be a follower of Jesus.
This is its highest calling.
This is its highest purpose.
It can speak truth and grace.
Let’s do it.
For Further Study: Leviticus 19.11; Psalm 19.14, 33.6, 34.13, 35.28, 141.3; Proverbs 6.16-19, 10.19, 12.18, 15.1, 15.23 16.28, 17.28, 18.13, 18.21; Ecclesiastes 10.12; Matthew 12.34-35; John 14.6; I Corinthians 13.5; Ephesians 4.15, 4.29, 5.4; Colossians 3.8, 3.16, 4.6; I Thessalonians 5.11
BENEDICTION:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
RESOURCES:
SermonCentral
Axelrod, Marc Getting Rid of Gossip
Ellis, Ray Words that Heal and Words that Hurt
McFadden, Dave Good Gracious
Stark, Michael The Devil Goes to Church
____ How to Destroy Your Church
Other
Baker, William R. Sticks and Stones: The Discipleship of Our Speech. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1996.
Maycinik, Susan. "Why Did I Say That?" Discipleship Journal1996, 41-44.
Mayhall, Carole. "Words of the Wise." Discipleship Journal1996, 45-49.
Stafford, Tim. "Can We Talk?" Christianity Today, 2 October 1995, 30-32.
________. "Toxic Talk." Discipleship Journal1995, 20-25.
Unger, Monte. "Would I Lie to You?" Discipleship Journal1996, 50-55.
Vawter, John. Uncommon Graces: Christlike Responses to a Hostile World. Colorado Springs: Navpress, 1998.
