Identity Theft
Is your Identity at Risk of being…
Robbed by Relationships
We risk Identity Theft when we…
…Seek fulfillment through Human relationships
We recover and protect ourselves from Identity theft when we…
…Enter a relationship with Jesus Christ
…Forgive those in relationships who have hurt us
…Grow in our relationship with Jesus Christ
Slide
Good morning.
This morning we are beginning a new series on Identity theft.
Have you seen those Citibank commercials that advertize a service they have to recover from Identity theft?
Here is one of them.
Citibank Commercial Video
I love those commercials. But even though they are humorous, they speak about a serious problem.
Identity theft is one of the fastest growing crimes in America according to the National Association of Crime Prevention (http://www.ncpc.org)
http://vocuspr.vocus.com/VocusPR30/Newsroom/Query.aspx?SiteName=NCPCNew&Entity=PRAsset&SF_PRAsset_PRAssetID_EQ=97716&XSL=PressRelease&Cache=
What is identity theft?
Identity theft is when someone steals and controls your personal information and uses it to benefit themselves at your expense.
This often happens without you even knowing it.
And while Identity theft may be something that has come to the forefront in the last 5 years or so because of the financial problems that have been caused by it, I would argue that identity theft is not something new at all.
I would argue that Satan has been seeking to steal and control your identity for his benefit at your expense.
Satan did not want Adam and Eve to experience the fullness of who God created them to be so he seeks to steal their identity and leave them to live an identity that brings nothing but disappointment and heartache.
He is seeking to do the same thing with each one of us. He is seeking to steal our true identity and leave us with an identity that is damaged and broken and continually leaves us unfulfilled and searching for an identity that will fulfill us.
Over the next 4 weeks we are going to look at a number of different ways that our identities are at risk, and what we can do to recover our identity and protect ourselves from having our identities stolen again. The themes of each topic is based upon a book by Mike Breaux, a former teaching pastor at Willow Creek and current teaching pastor at Heartland Community Church in Rockford, IL.
To begin, this morning we are asking,
Is your identity is at risk of being Robbed by Relationships?
Slide
Robbed by relationships? Aren’t we supposed to be in relationships?
Didn’t God design us to be in relationship with others?
How are we getting robbed by relationships then?
Yes, God did design us to be in relationship with other people. The problem is that we so often try and find our identity in our relationship with other people and when we do that, we open ourselves up to damaging our true identity in who God created us to be in Him.
This morning we are going to look at a man who sought to discover who he was outside of who he was as a child of God and one of the ways He sought that was through his many relationships and found that they left him with nothing but an emptiness, it all turned out to be meaningless.
Turn with me to Ecclesiastes 2:1, 4-11 (472)
Slide
Solomon was the writer of Ecclesiastes. He was a very rich and wise king, but he pursued meaning in life apart from who he was as a child of God.
Let’s see what he says about what he found as he pursued meaning and pleasure outside of who he was as a child of God.
Ecclesiastes 2:1, 4-11
2:1 I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." … 4 I undertook great projects: I built houses … 5 I made gardens and parks and … 6 I made reservoirs … 7 I bought male and female slaves … 8 I amassed silver and gold for myself, … I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well-the delights of the heart of man. … 10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. 11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
Solomon pursued it all and was left empty.
Well, maybe you are thinking he just did not find that right person, that special someone.
In 1 Kings it tells us that Solomon “had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines” and that his wives led him astray and “his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been” (1 Kings 11:3-4)
That is because He was looking for fulfillment through his relationships and these relationships we robbing him of his true identity.
Perhaps you have been like Solomon. Maybe you thought life would be good if some circumstance would just be different.
Maybe you have thought that life would be good if I was just in the right love relationship.
Actually, that is a correct thought, because we are all searching for love.
We are, as the Waylon Jennings song says,
“looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I’m dreaming of...”
Solomon realized this later on in his life.
As he wrote many of the proverbs, he recorded this in Proverbs 19:22
Proverbs 19:22 - What a man desires is unfailing love
Slide
What a man desires is unfailing love.
Now I don’t know if any of us can completely understand that and know it in a logical sense. I mean, I don’t think there is anyone that is walking around saying, “yes, I am in pursuit of unfailing love, do you know where I can find that?”
But in our hearts, we are going to know that love that fills us, a love so complete and so limitless, that it never fails us.
The problem is that we know there is some need inside of us, but we just don’t know how to satisfy it.
So we search for it, like Solomon and Waylon Jennings, in all the wrong places.
In all places apart from God.
It is the pursuit of that elusive love that has prompted authors to write
hundreds of thousands of romance novels,
1000’s of love songs and
hundreds of romantic comedies about the pursuit of that type of love.
Now while I love a good movie as much as anyone, we want to be careful when a movie proclaims something as obtainable that really isn’t. We need to take the movie for what it is, entertainment, without being led astray in thinking this is something that is obtainable in our life.
Jerry McGuire
For instance, back in 1996 a movie came out that gave us 2 of the greatest lines of pop culture of the 90’s.
One was “Show me the money.”
Does anyone remember what movie I am talking about? Jerry McGuire, yes.
What was the other line in that movie that is used by guys around the country in proposals and monologues of undying love?
You complete me.
Watch this video clip of that to get a little perspective of what I am talking about.
Jerry McGuire Video clip.
Now how can you not be moved by that?
But we need to understand this is a movie.
Movies are not real life.
Now relationships are great blessings that God has given us.
He recognized from the beginning that it was not good for man to be alone.
But no human relationship is going to complete you in the sense that it will bring that fulfillment and unfailing love into your life.
We risk Identity Theft when we…
Seek fulfillment through Human relationships
Slide
The simple fact is that human love, as good as it is, will fail you at some point.
Scott & Laura – 20 years of Marriage
This year, Laura and I will be celebrating our 20th year of marriage.
I love her more now than I did 20 years ago.
But even so, as hard as this is to believe, I do not complete Laura and she does not complete me.
We still fail each other at times. If I was looking to Laura to be the fulfillment of my life, I am setting myself up to be disappointed and ultimately to have my identity stolen.
How does that happen?
Slide
Well, often times, one of 2 things happens when we fail to find our fulfillment in our human relationships.
One is,
We think it is Our Fault
If we blame ourselves for a relationship that doesn’t seem to be bringing fulfillment to our lives, then we will begin to let someone else control our identity.
We think, “I love this person so much, if I can just make them love me more by being more of who they want me to be, then, I will find that unfailing love I am looking for.”
Or
“I need to do whatever they want me to do for them to love me and make my life complete.”
When that becomes our thought, when we believe that it is our fault that this person doesn’t love me because I am not being who they want, they steal our identity and we are being robbed by this relationship.
Real life Examples
This is why we see young singles give themselves away sexually thinking if they don’t, the person they love won’t love them and they won’t find fulfillment, that unfailing love, they desire.
We see married people willing to alter themselves surgically striving to be who their spouse tells them they desire to be so they won’t lose this person whom they love and one day will provide that unfailing love they desire.
Biblical Examples
In the Bible we see a man named Samson, who was created by God to be a great and strong leader, but had his identity stolen as he searched for unfailing love in the arms of women.
Judges 16:4-6, 15-17
4 Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah. 5 The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, "See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great strength and how we can overpower him so we may tie him up and subdue him. Each one of us will give you eleven hundred shekels of silver."
6 So Delilah said to Samson, "Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued."
At first Samson told her lies about how he could be subdued. Three times he lied to Delilah.
15 Then she said to him, "How can you say, ’I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me? This is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven’t told me the secret of your great strength." 16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.
17 So he told her everything.
He told her and she betrayed him and he lost his strength, he lost the identity that God had created in him.
When we believe it is our fault that we are not finding that unfailing love through our human relationships, we risk losing our identity to another.
Another possibility when we fail to find fulfillment in our human relationships is that
We think it is their fault
Slide
If we think it is the other persons fault that we aren’t finding fulfillment, finding that unfailing love because this other person just isn’t quite the right one, we end up pursuing it in other relationships, only to be continually disappointed.
Real Life Examples
If my wife or husband is just not fulfilling my life, then I’ll get a divorce and find a new husband or wife that will fulfill me.
Or, I will look for something on the side, I’ll have an affair and we think that will bring fulfillment.
What we find is a person who goes from relationship to relationship searching for that person who will “complete me.”
I believe this was part of Solomon’s problem. That is why he had 1000 wives and concubines.
“I am not finding fulfillment with this one, maybe I will with this one.”
Well, how can we find fulfillment?
And what if we have been going down this road, blaming ourselves or blaming others for the lack of fulfillment we are experiencing?
Can we recover our identity and restore our true identity and protect ourselves from it happening again?
There is good news. You can recover. How do we do that?
We recover and protect ourselves from Identity theft when we…
First
Enter a Relationship with Jesus Christ
Slide
The hole in our heart can only be filled with the love that the Lord is able to give us. He is the one who gives us that unfailing love we are longing for, even if we don’t fully realize it.
Two of the most powerful verses in the Bible describe the Lord’s love for us.
John 3:16 tells us that “God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Romans 5:8 – “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
The Love that Christ has for us is not contingent upon how good we are or how much we deserve it.
No matter what we say, to some extent, the love we have for one another is somewhat contingent on what we do.
Not God’s love though. His love is unfailing! This is just what we need to fill the hole inside of us. This is the only thing that will help us be able to find that fulfillment that we are looking for.
How do we enter into that relationship with Him?
Romans 10:9 – “confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
John 1:12 –“to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”
Now entering into a relationship with Jesus Christ is the first and most important thing.
But that is not all.
Just entering into a relationship with Christ is not some magical thing that solves all of your problems. It solves your greatest problem, your separation from God and allows you to be in relationship with Him for eternity.
But to experience fulfillment in life also means following him.
So often many of us have already pursued fulfillment in our human relationships and we have blamed ourselves or others.
So after we have entered a relationship with Jesus Christ, we need to
Forgive those in relationships who have hurt us
Slide
Why is this so important?
Because if we don’t we become calloused and our hearts become hard and we become bitter and resentful.
It is impossible to find fulfillment and to experience unfailing love, when our heart is hard.
One of Job’s friends reminds him in
Job 5:2 that “Resentment kills a fool” and also that you “tear yourself to pieces in your anger” (Job 18:4)
If we have been hurt, we need to forgive those who have in their own blindness and pursuit of fulfillment, have hurt us.
If we don’t, it will have detrimental effects upon the rest of our life.
Spiritual blindness
It can lead to further spiritual blindness for us.
1 John 2:11 - whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.
Impede our Prayers
Lack of forgiveness can impede our prayer life
Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
Relationships with others
Lack of forgiveness can affect our other relationships.
Hebrews 12:15 - See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Now forgiveness does not mean that we forget how we have been hurt, but it does mean that we give over to God our right and desire to get even and trust the Lord to deal fairly with the situation justly and in His timing.
Seek forgiveness
And if we have hurt someone by our expectations for them to fulfill us, then we need to seek their forgiveness as well.
Forgiveness, giving it as well as seeking it when we have wronged someone, will be the single greatest thing, apart from entering into a relationship with Christ, that brings freedom and helps us to truly love and be loved.
Colossians 3:12-14
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Finally, to recover and protect ourselves from being Robbed by Relationships and losing our identity, we need to
Grow in our Relationship with Jesus Christ
Slide
Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians is what every one of us needs to find fulfillment in life, the unfailing love of Jesus Christ.
Listen to what he says.
Ephesians 3:17-19
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
As we grow in our relationship with Christ, we begin to understand more and more, the incredible love that the Lord has for us and we experience that in greater ways and as we do that, we are “filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
That is the fulfillment that we are seeking.
As we enter that relationship and forgive or seek forgiveness for wrongs that have occurred in our relationships with others and as we grow in our relationship with Christ, through Bible study, through serving, through worshiping, through fellowshipping, and through loving others, we will no longer be at risk of being robbed by our relationships.
We will be able to know who we are in Christ and be confident in that. And if we do need to make changes in our life or do things in our relationships for another person’s benefit, it is Christ who will be guiding that to his glory and our own long term benefit and fulfillment.
We do need to be sacrificial in relationships, but it is Christ who directs that sacrifice we make.
Conclusion
If you have lost your identity by being robbed in your relationships, then perhaps this morning you need to enter into that relationship with Jesus Christ. We will pray and give you an opportunity to do that in a moment.
Maybe you are in a relationship and you need to forgive or seek forgiveness.
Think of who that may be and take steps this week to do that. We will pray for the strength to do that.
Maybe you need to take steps to be growing in your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Maybe it is a step of joining with a church who will help you.
(Back to Basics)
Maybe it is taking a step of serving
PowerZone, Fall Fest, VBS coming up. Sign up to help.
Whatever your need, commit to taking that step now as we pray.
