Welcome everyone, to We-Harmony.com. We’re doing a series on relationships. We’re going to talk about the reality of relationships, a little bit more today as well as long-term relationships. We’re going to recognize some of our people who have made it 50 years or longer at the end of the service and we’re just going to talk a little bit today to kind of wrap this series up. Think just a little bit about what it means to be in it for the long haul.
What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They’re moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food being opened half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. They leave their toys everywhere.
6. When you want to play, they want to play.
7. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.
Isn’t that true?
Welcome to We-Harmony.com. We’re talking about relationships. Today is Sentimental Journey, and we’re talking about how to make it long-term. I wanted to kind of sum up what a good relationship takes and recognize those who have made it.
It’s not easy.
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you. You have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."
We are going to recognize the long term marriages in here later. Can you imagine doing that in a crowd this size -- 30 years ago?
It’s a different world we live in.
I was talking with a bride about a unity candle once. I love having that as a part of the ceremony. It really signifies the whole relationship. But this bride was confused, (I don’t remember who it was and don’t know if she still goes here -- so if it’s you, just play dumb), because they also make 5, 10, 25, and 50 year anniversary candles that are the same, and she evidently had seen only them and asked me, "So, does that represent how long you want to be married? Don’t they make a FOREVER CANDLE?"
I know that many of you in this room have experience a marriage not making it, a great percentage actually. And some of you here today won’t make it.
I’m not here to make you feel bad. You didn’t want your marriage to end either. But honestly -- MAKING IT -- IS NOT the issue. I know there are a lot of people that were married for 50 years and they aren’t even remotely concerned about going to heaven or hell, because they figure they’ve already been in hell.
If we could be honest...
There was a couple at a wedding reception for a sixtieth wedding anniversary. You know, they were getting kind of hard of hearing. The woman makes a toast. She says, "After sixty years I’ve found you tried and true. The husband went, "What did she say?" She said, "After sixty years, I’ve found you tried and true." He said "What?" She said, "After sixty years, I’ve found you tried and true." And he yelled back, "After sixty years, I’m tired of you, too!"
How can we make it last? How can we have one of those relationships that we now cherish so much -- where two become one flesh and stay that way forever?
IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT STAYING TOGETHER. IT’S ABOUT MAKING A MARRIAGE TOGETHER.
Gary Thomas, in Sacred Marriage: A wedding calls us to our highest and best--in fact, to almost impossible--ideals. I think most of us who have been married for any substantial length of time realize that the romantic roller coaster of courtship eventually evens out to the terrain of Midwest interstate--long, flat stretches with an occasional overpass. When this happens, couples respond in different ways. Many will break up their relationship and try to recreate the passionate romance with someone else. Other couples will descend into a sort of marital guerrilla warfare, a passive-aggressive power play as each partner blames the other for personal dissatisfaction or lack of excitement. Some couples decide to simply "get along." Still many others opt to pursue a deeper meaning, a spiritual truth hidden in the enforced intimacy of the marital situation.
SO HERE WE GO. I’m going to give you the most juvenile outline to remember this by today, and I hope that you will still respect me in the morning. I have a doctorate in ministry -- and today, I’m going to rhyme words for you. As a disclaimer, I don’t think I’ve done this in a long time -- maybe ever.
I just started out with this thing and it kept going, and I don’t know if it’s from God or Mr. Rogers -- but I’m pretty sure it will stay with you and that’s what I want more than anything.
I’m hoping that on your 50th anniversary -- you will think of this and remember what a moron your pastor was back in 2008. BUT YOU WILL BE TOGETHER
I’m rhyming everything with gray. If you want to stay married until your gray...
Oh, I have you going now already, don’t I? Let me just assure you that Slay is not in there, though you may feel like it sometimes. When Dr. Kevin Leman was here, he said he never thought about divorce - murder, but not divorce. HE WAS JOKING. Slay is not number one. Don’t start getting ahead of me.
THE FIRST ONE HAS TO DO WITH GOD -- ANYONE? BUELLER? PRAY -- very good
Let me share with you a scene from Matthew 22. Here is how the scene unfolds. Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, a lawyer, decided to put Jesus to the test. He came up with what he thought was a pretty difficult question. He said, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
It’s a valid question, and it’s a tough question, but Jesus didn’t hesitate. Listen to his reply:
Matthew 22:37-40
Jesus replied: "’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: `Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
I mean it was such an unbelievable answer. Everybody had to just hang their head and walk away and go auuhhhh. Love God is our number one priority.
So when I say, if you want to make it till you are gray, pray. That may mean that you pray. It may mean that you read the Bible together. It may mean that you worship together. But more than anything else, it means you keep your priorities straight, and you will make it until you’re gray.
I think the problem is that we get the first thing wrong, and then whenever you get the first thing wrong everything else is messed up, right? You set the first domino in the wrong place and everything’s going to go the wrong way. You can’t put your spouse first. You can’t put your kids first. Now you’re putting them outside. You don’t put your job first. You don’t put your mom first. You don’t put your hobbies first. God is first.
Love God.
Listen to what Catherin Paxton wrote, "A braid appears to contain only two strands of hair. But it is impossible to create a braid with only two strands. If the two could be put together at all, they would quickly unravel. Herein lies the mystery: What looks like two strands requires a third. The third strand, though not immediately evident, keeps the strands tightly woven. In a Christian marriage, God’s presence, like the third strand in a braid, holds husband and wife together."
A recent study I just saw showed that couples who attended church together even as little as once a month increased their chances of staying married for life. Studies have also shown that churchgoers feel better about their marriages than those who don’t worship together. And studies show that women who are religious, enjoy sexual intimacy MORE than those who don’t. Which is kind of the opposite of what you’d expect -- but not if you realize that when you put God as Number One -- everything else works better.
Worship has a way of transforming relationships. To stand before the Holy One of eternity is to grow and change. In worship, God’s transforming power steals its way into the sanctuary of our hearts and enlarges our capacity to love.
BUT PRAY -- ALSO MEANS THAT YOU ACTUALLY PRAY
Dr. Leman quoted this - Harvard study shows that most marriages have a 1 in 2 chance of surviving, but those who go to church regularly, pray together 4 times a week, and share their souls have a 1 in 1105 chance of divorce!
For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Mt 18:20
ILL: One couple sent an inspiring letter. She wrote of the hard times they had gone through in their marriage. Did not have Christ first place in their hearts, and the many waters of life began to wash their marriage away.
Started to fall apart in every way, things came to a head and they separated. As is often the case, when we get in that spot, we start reaching out for the Lord. So they both began attending church, separately. God began to work.
Eventually they chose to meet in a neutral spot a park near their home. She writes, "There we sat apart from one another at a picnic table, tears flooding both our eyes. You could see that both of us were wondering what the other was thinking and the big question remained: Where do we go from here? We talked about everything, from every emotion we had been feeling to how hurt we were from what happened."
As they said goodbye they faced an awkward moment. "It felt like we were in high school again." "Do we shake hands? Do we hug? Do we kiss? We don’t know where the relationship is." In that moment her husband did something she didn’t expect. He held out his hand, and said, "Can we pray?" For the first time in their relationship, her husband prayed for their marriage.
She writes, "This is a date I will never forget."
I know some of you are here and your spouse wouldn’t relate to that. They aren’t a believer. There is a whole different sermon on that. I Peter 3:1 says to win them by your example. But if you want to make it till your gray -- pray. If they don’t want to do it with you -- do it for them. And don’t forget that the number one thing -- is to Love God first.
If you want to make it till your gray - SAY - COMMUNICATE.
The problem is average couple only talks together alone 4 MINUTES a day. In fact, the average couple combined watch an average of 46 hours of television in a week and 23 MINUTES of talking alone. (I don’t’ know who that is -- but that’s the serious average. Can I just say that if you and your spouse watch 46 hours of television each week -- we need to have "come to Jesus" moment here. I don’t care if you have a new HD and you can now watch people catch crabs in the Bering Sea 24 hours a day. Turn it off! Maybe we should make one of these -- turn off the T-Vay.)
One counselor who works with troubled marriages makes them commit to spending 15 hours a week together to fix the marriage.
We all know that men don’t talk as much as women -- but it’s not just about talking -- it’s about WHAT YOU SAY.
Marriages that endure and make it to the gray stage are those who have figured out how to speak positive words to each other instead of just occasionally thinking nice thoughts, expressing them -- saying it.
Bible says good words, fitly spoken are precious to us.
Here is the deal. There are so many forces in life that pull us down, drag us down, beat us up, and tire us out. In marriage, you can add to that negativity, or instead, build each other up. Something beautiful happens when you hear your spouse speak encouraging words of love.
So don’t be stingy with your words of encouragement. Let them flow. Be generous with your words of affirmation, build up esteem, build up respect, ego.
Guys, open mouths, and talk, because they need to hear from you, it will mean so much. Gals, when you open your mouth, speak not just words of instruction, information, and details about the day, etc. etc., but speak words of life, encouragement. Speak the way you would a friend.
Phrases you will need to say with great regularity so get accustomed: LET’S PRACTICE.
Say I’m sorry.
Say I forgive you.
Say I love you.
Men, here’s an assignment. Look your wife in the eyes for 30 seconds, you recite to her how good she’s been, what a good mother, a delight, a friend, good daughter-in-law, provider for your home -- tell her things you don’t tell her often enough. I’ll bet you won’t make it 30 seconds; you’ll start squirming and go "Oh, look at the ceiling fan."
But if you could do a few seconds of it, it would still be a wonderful thing for your wife. And probably turn into a wonderful thing for you to come to think of it.
ILL: Tommy Nelson is an author and speaker who really encourages husbands to show romance and care for their wives this way: One time he was on the Dennis Rainey radio program, a marriage enrichment program on XM radio. And on the program the host, Dennis Rainey put him on the spot on national radio by saying, "Well Tommy, would you like to speak a love letter to your wife right now? Why don’t you do that -- speak a love letter to your wife, right now."
He said okay, I could do that. Teresa, thank you for always being faithful, always loving me, believing in me, never hurting me (choking up). Thank you for being so faithful, for forgiving me and he’s blubbering. And he looks across the table and there’s the radio host and he’s bawling, and the co-host, the engineer through the glass, and they never do pull it together. They’re all just bawling, and they sign off, "This is Family Life, have a good day."
Proverbs 31 is often used as a passage of the Bible to point out to women what wives need to do to be the Godly wife. It’s a great passage. It talks about the wife of noble character and from v. 10-end of the chapter, it tells all the great things that this kind of wife does: she works hard in the home, she represents her husband and family well around town, she is strong and smart and a good business woman, a great work ethic, think of all those times she was up late, and up early to do what needed to be done, to cover for you and provide for you, and then all the things she does for others outside the family as well, she takes care of you, and makes you look better than you are, and she has wisdom...all these incredible traits of things we can so easily take for granted, and overlook and come to expect as normal mater of course.
But then that passage ends in v. 28 with her children rising up and calling her blessed but listen to this: "her husband also praises her." There’s something here not just for wives to aspire to -- the greater challenge is for husbands.
Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Gentlemen: Love your wives by praising her, complimenting her, not because she’s a supermodel, but because of her qualities of faithfulness and goodness and all she does for you and for your family, if you have one.
Proverbs 31:31: After all that she has done, "Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
Next week is Mother’s Day -- heads up boys -- great time to BRING HER PRAISE. Even if she’s not a mom, might even be more important a time to bring her praise. Proverbs 31 is not about moms; it’s about women. They need to hear from you.
Ladies -- if the man’s greatest need is respect. DO YOU THINK THAT MIGHT INVOLVE SAYING SOMETHING YOURSELVES?
Have you written your respect letter? (Dr. Eggerich -- Love and Respect) Have you told him how much you love him? How you respect him -- AND WHY? A little help here -- he’s not going to believe you unless you can actually name it.
Say it in the presence of your children. Let them hear you praise her. You see what that’s doing?
1. It is good for your spouse, because it builds them up and honors them and helps them know that you don’t take them for granted.
2. It will help your marriage, because you’re building into it with tenderness and intimacy.
3. It will help your children because it helps them fulfill the biblical command to honor their father and mother. It will help them know to follow, trust, and obey your spouse since they see you valuing her that highly.
Your sons will know how to treat a woman, and your daughters will know how to treat a man.
John Mayer wrote a great song, "Fathers, be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do." I just think he should have changed it a little bit. He should have started before that. "Fathers, be good to their mothers, for daughters will learn love from you." Somebody write John and tell him I got a better song. And tell him I’m a good rhymer.
If you want to make it till your gray --PLAY
Do you remember how much fun you USED to have? When is the last time you had fun?
One of the things that Denise and I have been committed to is going out and getting away. You have got to get a break from the "ankle biters" and the "hormone brigade" every once in awhile. You need a date night -- every week. You need to leave the kids and go out of town. Trade sitters -- go camping if you don’t have the money -- but the marriage needs some fun, too.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this ....life
You see one of the deals in making it until you are gray is realizing that the kid-part of life is just a short part of the 50 years - maybe half. And yes, there will always be things in your life that will be affected if you have children, and some will be tough and some will be good. And I know that for some of you, it feels like there is nothing else in life, because your kids are taking up every moment. Don’t let that happen. Don’t let them be in so many things that you haven’t time for each other.
We are right there at the end of that stage. We spent a good deal of time this week at Lincolnway freshman girls’ soccer games. And Lauren is at senior prom tonight. And Rachel is figuring out how to get re-admitted to her college after taking the unexcused leave of absence to England -- which will be fine. But we are still parents, and will always be parents.
But one of the issues for us is going to be figuring out what to do in the empty nest. Lauren goes off to college this August and then it’s just Becca in the house. We will be empty nesters in 3 years 4 months and 12 days. Not that we’re counting. What will we do?
She doesn’t like to golf. I don’t like to scrapbook -- so we have to figure some things out now that we will actually have some time to spend together. My guess is that since we are already best friends and already love being together in whatever we do -- it won’t be a problem. But if you wait until the kids are gone to play together -- you might not know the person you’re playing with.
Plan a date night--we went out Friday night. Go out most Friday nights.
My wife said, "Let’s go someplace expensive -- so I took her to the Gas Station."
Join a small group.
Serve together.
If there were more courting in marriage, there would be fewer marriages in court.
Let me ’splain’ something to you women. Men are goal-oriented. So when he is dating, he is thinking, "Man, I’ve got to have that woman in my life. I love her. I want to make her my wife."
So they woo you. Do you remember being woo-ed? Woo - Woo - Buy you flowers, and candy, write you little woo-notes, and whisper sweet woo-things in your ear. And they talk to you for hours.
The moment you are married. NOT CONSCIOUSLY - But subconsciously they think "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." Let’s move on to the next thing on life’s "TO-DO" list. The next goal is usually, "Now I have to provide for this woman that I love and the family." So he turns his energy into his job, because that is the role he now thinks he is supposed to provide. Woo-ing is now replaced by Working. And the wife says, "What happened?" And she is feeling rejection, when he is thinking, "This is how I show I love you."
Man took his wife to a psychiatrist - she is depressed. He finds out that she was starving for affection. So man comes back into the room, but the psychiatrist decides this guy isn’t too sharp so he decides to model what she needs and grabs her in his arms and gives her a big kiss. He says, "Now, she needs this every day, can you deal with that?" And the guy says, "Well, I think I can only get her here on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday."
Part of the problem is that we only see each other in the worse part of the day - early morning or after work. So the most important person in your life gets your leftovers.
Gifts can make a real difference in marriage. We all like to be remembered on birthdays and anniversaries. But we should also remember those occasions when there are no occasions. I am not necessarily talking about diamond necklaces or a cruise to the Caribbean. It isn’t the gift itself, but the thought behind the gift that counts.
1) Phone call in the middle of the day
2) Single flower
3) Love letter in the mail
4) Notes hidden in the house
5) Fixing a favorite meal for no reason
John Fischer, a Christian musician, offers some sound advice on making your marriage special. It seems that John had rented a room from an elderly couple who had been married longer than most people get a chance to live. But even though time had wrinkled their hands, stooped their postures, and slowed them down, it hadn’t diminished the excitement and love they felt toward each other. John could tell that their love had not stopped growing since the day of their wedding - over a half century before. Intrigued, the singer finally had an opportunity to ask the old man the secret to his success as a husband. "Oh," said the old gentleman with a twinkle in his eye, "that’s simple. Just bring her roses on Wednesday - she never expects them then."
That conversation inspired a song...
Give her roses on Wednesday, when everything is blue,
Roses are red and your love must be new.
Give her roses on Wednesday, keep it shining through.
Love her when love’s the hardest thing to do.
Love isn’t something you wait for, like some feeling creeping up from behind.
Love’s a decision to give more, and keep giving all of the time.
Give her roses on Wednesday, when everything is blue.
Roses are red and your love must be new.
Give her roses on Wednesday, keep it shining through.
Love her when love’s the hardest thing to do.
It’s easy to love when it’s easy, when you’re in a Friday frame of mind.
But loving when living gets busy is what love was waiting for all the time.
Give her roses on Wednesday, when everything is blue.
Roses are red and your love must be new.
Give her roses on Wednesday, keep it shining through.
Love her when love’s the hardest thing to do.
LAY
It was interesting as I was rhyming to realize that a big part of the word Play is Lay.
I decided not to add it to the list, but I do want to say something about that.
I Corinthians 7 -The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Genesis 26 relates that Isaac was "caressing" his wife Rebecca. The King James says "sporting" with her. The Message says "fondling" his wife. It’s normal and Biblical for a husband and wife to find pleasure in sex. When they don’t, they are in trouble.
It is interesting that after Adam and Eve sinned, and the perfect union fell apart. The very first thing they did - was what? COVERED THEMSELVES UP, because sin makes us self-conscious. So Adam physically said to Eve - and vice/versa - "I’m not transparent anymore."
Statistics say that 60% of couples in America are unsatisfied in the physical part of their marriage. There are a lot of reasons for that. And I think the media’s incredible. It consistently lies about the reality in bed and has many people think they are missing something when they are not.
If you want to make it till you’re gray, you Pray, you Say, you Play, you Stay. P’s and S’s....P.S. I love you. This is getting easier isn’t it? P’s and S’s...you Pray ...you Say....you Play....you Stay.
STAY
Have you ever thought about this?! When the first couple got married, they had no one else in mind. Adam was the only man, Eve was the only woman. That means that there was no "second-guessing." Adam wasn’t standing at the altar wondering if this was the best that he could do. Eve didn’t look back years later and wonder if she would have been better off with the captain of the football team. There was no option.
Now I did hear that Adam came in a little late one night and Eve got suspicious about another woman, so she waited till he went to sleep and counted his ribs, just to make sure.
But Eve was the only one available. Adam didn’t compare her to others and feel deprived. Eve didn’t complain that Adam wasn’t as romantic as someone she’d seen on television. There was no insecurity in this relationship. They were committed to each other - EXCLUSIVELY. That is the ideal for our marriages.
The problem is that this is not our current reality. There are 6 and a half billion people out there to choose from and when times are tough, it’s easy to wonder if we should start over. Do you wonder if you married the wrong person? There is no wrong person. God didn’t make one man for one woman! He gave us freedom of choice, and if you chose a mate, as the famous theologian RAY CHARLES would say - (go ahead - you can say it with me) "YOU’VE GOT THE RIGHT ONE BABY - UH-HUH"
Let’s try that approach - On the count of 3 - Turn to your spouse if you’re sitting by them and tell them "HEY - YOU’VE GOT THE RIGHT ONE, BABY - UH-HUH".
STAY -- means that no matter what -- you make the commitment to hang in and see it through. For better worse, richer poorer, sickness health -- death do us part.
Vietnam veteran Dave Roever tells of the dramatic way God spared his life when he was a soldier in Vietnam. He pulled the pin on a grenade, raised up the grenade to throw it, and the faulty grenade went off in his hand. Somehow by the grace of God, he survived the experience. Much of the skin on the right side of his body was blown off. If you were to see him today, he himself would admit that he looks rather grotesque. The entire right side of his face is deformed. He has no eyelid and a badly sunken right jaw. He has no right ear and no right hand.
He says that he was lying in the hospital bed, recovering from his wounds, and the man in the bed next to him was recovering from a similar accident. That man’s wife walked in, took one look at her husband, took off her wedding ring and said, "I can’t deal with this." She walked out.
Dave Roever says, "I was sure my wife was going to do the same thing. When my wife walked in for the first time to see me, I said, ’I don’t expect you to have to deal with this.’ She reached down, kissed my burnt lips and said, ’You were never that good-looking anyway!’"
There are going to be times when you want to check out. There have been times that I’ve wanted to and Denise has had more than that -- I would imagine. What’s kept us together is that Christian commitment we talked about in the beginning. When you take the options away -- it’s an obvious conclusion.
Jesus summarizes from the Old Testament,
""Haven’t you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator ’made them male and female,’ and said, ’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
We just buried one of our 50-years married guys. Jerry Spechek passed away this week. He used to sit right down there in that chair on Saturday night, and many of you knew Jerry. He had celebrated 50 years of marriage thirteen years ago. His wife had already passed away. He’s gone to be with her. I understand that, we all understand that at this point. If you’ve been out there and maybe your spouse is with you, we celebrate that. Maybe they’re not with you. It doesn’t matter. If you made it to 50 years, would you please stand up right now?
We’re going to buy you movie and some popcorn. Would you please stand up, and I need my worship people. Stay up...stay standing... stay standing.... congratulations you guys.
Anybody over here? Back over there? In the balcony? Stay standing...stay standing. We want to honor you. Stay up. Right here! Thank you. I think we have everybody. Put your hand up if we missed you. I got some right here. I want to tell you I bought 20 of these gift certificates. It’s for the movies and popcorn. Twenty-five dollar gift certificate. I bought twenty of these on Friday. I thought this will probably do us. We gave 15 of them out last night. I went back and bought 50 more last night at the movie theatre. It’s $1,200 worth of movies stuff, but they had the security guard walk me out. I mean that’s just fantastic to me that we have this many people that made it 50 years. Congratulations. Thank you for modeling what you’ve done. That is awesome.
Robert McQuilken was President of Columbia International University for 22 years. But at 57 he discovered that his wife had Alzheimer’s. Her memory faded and her behavior became irrational. He wrote: "My wife, Muriel, was content when she was with me and very discontent when she was without me. When I would go to work she would somehow follow. It is a mile round trip from my house to the college. Sometimes she would walk that ten times a day."
So Robert McQuilken resigned his presidency to give full time to caring for his wife. This was his resignation to the faculty: "I haven’t in my life experienced easy decision-making on major decisions. But one of the simplest and clearest decisions I’ve had to make is this one, because circumstances dictated it. Muriel, in the last couple months, seems to be most happy when with me, and almost never happy when not with me. In fact, she seems to feel trapped, fearful, almost terrified, and when she can’t get to me, there can be anger. She’s in distress. But when I’m with her, she’s happy and contented. So I must be with her at all times. You see, I promised in sickness and in health till death do us part, and I’m a man of my word. It is the only fair thing. She sacrificed for me for 40 years, to make my life possible. So, if I cared for her for 40 years, I’d still be in debt. However, it is much more. It is not that I have to; it is that I get to. I love her very dearly. And you can tell it is not easy to talk about. She’s a delight. It is a great honor to care for such a wonderful person."
