Mother’s Day 2009
The Perfect Mother
Matthew 15:21-28
May 10, 2009
There were three young children who loved to get up early and watch out the window for the garbage truck. They took great delight in watching the waste hauler empty the can, then work the lever that caused the truck to compact the trash.
On the morning of Mom’s thirty-fifth birthday, the husband said to the children with a smile, "Kids, do you know what makes today so special?"
The five-year-old rushed past Mom’s outstretched arms to the window and replied, "It’s garbage day!"
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone. While we celebrate mothers, we also remember that this day can be rather painful for people if you have lost a mother or even lost a child. Just remember that the Lord is here and we are here for you today. I hope that you might be able to celebrate the celebrations of others even while you may be grieving your own losses.
In that vein, let’s look at a passage of a mother in Matthew 15:21-28
Matthew 15:21-28
From there Jesus took a trip to Tyre and Sidon. They had hardly arrived when a Canaanite woman came down from the hills and pleaded, "Mercy, Master, Son of David! My daughter is cruelly afflicted by an evil spirit." Jesus ignored her. The disciples came and complained, "Now she’s bothering us. Would you please take care of her? She’s driving us crazy." Jesus refused, telling them, "I’ve got my hands full dealing with the lost sheep of Israel." Then the woman came back to Jesus, went to her knees, and begged. "Master, help me." He said, "It’s not right to take bread out of children’s mouths and throw it to dogs." She was quick: "You’re right, Master, but beggar dogs do get scraps from the master’s table." Jesus gave in. "Oh, woman, your faith is something else. What you want is what you get!" Right then her daughter became well.
Even though I’ve entitled this message, The Perfect Mother, I will admit up front that this is a little misleading. Because basically, none of us are perfect. No one except Jesus has been able to live without transgressing someone and transgressing God. I’m sorry but there is no mother in the bible that is perfect. Eve was great for a little while but that ended pretty quickly. Mary, mother of Jesus, was a phenomenal woman who was favored by God and exceptionally blessed but I do not believe she was perfect.
But I do see in this story, a woman who shows us something that is perfect about mothers (at least should be). This woman shows a glimpse into not just mother’s but what it takes to follow Jesus. We might not be perfect. We might not follow Jesus perfectly but surely we can see moments in which the perfection of God’s love manifests itself in our lives. I see this unnamed Canaanite woman.
So if you seek to follow the ways of Jesus and want to know more about and perhaps get a glimpse into how to become the perfect mother or perfect father or perfect whatever, there are several things to point out.
The Almost, Not Quite, Well… Not Really that Perfect Mother
• No one is perfect
As I already mentioned, the first thing we need to remember is that no one is perfect. This is the irony the less perfect that we think that we are, in some strange way we may be a little more toward perfection than if we thought that we are all that. This is often called humility. It is not thinking of yourself more highly than your not.
I see this woman displaying that here. She knew that she wasn’t Jewish and therefore didn’t measure up to the usual cultural standards. Yet, she wasn’t about to let that hold her back and she refused to accept that the usual cultural standard applied in this case. Why? Because her daughter was very sick and was being tormented by a demon.
I love how the message puts what the disciples said, “She is driving us crazy.” Indeed no one is perfect. Not one of us has got it altogether—no matter how much we hide it from others. No one has all the answers but this woman knew where she had to turn to get the answers that she needed. She was desperate so she turned to Jesus and literally begged him to help her daughter. She seemed willing to do anything to help her daughter. And that leads us to a second thought:
• God has answers
The perfect mother and even not-so-perfect mother knows who to turn to. This woman knew that she needed help. She knew that she couldn’t do it alone so she turned to God. She sought out Jesus. Who do you turn to when you need help?
I believe that God is found when His people gather together to worship in His Spirit and in truth. I believe that making a habit of gathering together is so hugely important. It should be ingrained into our being. Why? So we know instinctively where to turn when the demons afflict us or our loved ones and so that we can be of help to others when they cry out for help.
God has the answers that we need. I often see people not trusting in God and truly seeking His face. Worshiping with others and seeking out the answers that we are looking for is often done superficially. We show up once or twice and wonder why “church” doesn’t seem to work. Where is God? It is kind of like playing the spiritual lottery. We take our coin (maybe, if we are feeling generous) and through it in the offering plate hoping to scratch off the jackpot and then we can go out way.
Except I rarely (if ever) see God working like that. This woman literally hounded the disciples and then Jesus until she got the help that she needed. It isn’t that God needs to see us beg and grovel. It isn’t like God needs any of that. We sometimes need to show our humility and desperation so that we know the depths of our trust and faith. Jesus said, “You faith is something else” or as the NIV says, “Woman, you have great faith!” She knew where to turn to get the help that she need and she persisted until she did.
A mother was busy one evening pursuing her hobby of making porcelain dolls at a doll-making class, leaving the husband at home to watch the two children, Melinda, age 7, and Craig, age 5. While the husband was chatting with a neighbor on the front porch, the phone rang. The husband was proud to hear Craig answer the phone promptly and politely. His pride vanished as he heard my son’s response to the caller’s request to speak to my wife: "No, my mom’s not here. She’s out making a baby. But my dad is here if you want to talk to him."
Naturally, the phone call was from one of the elders of their church!
Even if God doesn’t seem to have the answers that you are looking for because sometimes God doesn’t give us answers that we want but that we need, we need to remember that:
• God has comfort
I find it interesting that the woman in the story received no comfort or answers from the disciples. “Send her away because she is driving us crazy.” Yet God is not like that. God pours out limitless grace and comforts those who are afflicted.
Now we may wonder why would Jesus refuse to heal her daughter on the first request? Why did Jesus refuse her because she wasn’t Jewish? This doesn’t sound like the Jesus that we know. Why did he engage in the sparring session of words?
Honestly, I do not know for sure. I don’t think we can know for sure based on the text. But I wonder if Matthew would have considered it important and remembered it so well, if it weren’t for the unusual circumstances. Ultimately, Jesus did not turn her away. Surely, he knew what was in her heart. Surely, he knew her desperation and knew that she wasn’t about to get up. It seems to me that Jesus really wanted to show everyone what great faith was really like. Several times in the gospels, Jesus makes a big deal out of the great faith of non-Jewish believers.
We have been examining the parables of Jesus and even though there seems to be no indication that this is a parable, it seems to be a living parable. Here was a rare find: A woman with such great faith and she was a Canaanite! In essence Jesus was really challenging prophetically the lack of faith of his fellow Jews.
Throughout scripture, God repeatedly reveals his own faithfulness and trustworthiness. He shows us and tells us that God never leaves us nor forsakes us. He doesn’t just cast us off even when we are no better than dogs sitting under his table. Even when the answers seem far off and there seems to be some sort of dark cloud that is keeping us from feeling the presence of God, we are assured that he is never, ever far off. His comfort is always there.
There is one last thing to remember:
• There is nothing like a mother’s love
We might not be perfect. Even mothers fail. Mothers get angry. They make mistakes. They sin. But there is just something about a mother’s love that approaches the perfection of God’s own love in such a powerful way. Sometimes we don’t always understand a mother’s love. Sometimes as kids we don’t understand why mom does what she does. But sometimes it is that way with God too. There is something unique, special, and wonderful about a mother’s love. This is why we recognize it. This is why we celebrate it.
And I believe that this mother’s love, which often is filled with so much sacrifice both seen and unseen, that serves as a sign to point us to the perfection of God’s own love. It is here, like this Canaanite woman, that we get a glimpse into the God’s love for us. God’s perfect love. Unending love. A perfect love. There we get a glimpse into a perfect mother because it is God’s perfect love that challenges and changes us.
The kids were out back playing whiffle ball but kept getting into arguments. Mom came and said that she was sick and tired of hearing the fighting so she took away the bat. That didn’t stop them. Little Richard found a metal brace to use as a bat and he still remembers that two distinct points of contact: one on the ball and the other on his sisters head who had come upon behind him without him knowing it.
Richard knew he was in big trouble as his sister was crying because there was so much blood that he couldn’t even see his sister’s face. “Don’t tell mom! Don’t tell mom! It will be all right. Please, just don’t tell mom!” He thought that if he could wash her off with the hose after the bleeding stopped, everything would be fine.
Fortunately, mom immediately recognized the scream of terror and rush outside. Seeing her daughter bleeding profusely, she scooped her up and took her inside where a temporary bandage was applied so that they could go to the hospital where the girl would receive several stitches. All the while Richard was expecting the berating and of course the beating but it never came. Mom was simply relieved that her girl would be alright.
God wants to know that you are going to be all right. That is why Jesus died so that we might be all right with God and with others. God’s love for you is no where near superficial. How about your love for Him? Is worship and “church” just an afterthought? Or does celebrating God and God’s love in Jesus the center of your life? Or does your “spiritual life” consist of playing some type of scratch-off lottery hoping that someday you will “win it big?” There is a saying: If you want to win big, bet big. There is only one way to win: bet it all. Your life. Everything on Jesus. Everything you are and everything you have. You will win. You’ll win big. Because God’s perfect love never fails. Give it all to God today.
