DUTIES OF CHILDREN AND PARENTS
Text: Ephesians 6:1 – 4
Introduction:
According to a survey by the Ladies Home Journal:
o About a third of all mothers spend ten or more hours per day with their children; another 47 percent devote four to nine hours daily. Eighty-two percent consider at least half of their parenting hours “quality time.”
o Almost every mother polled (98 percent) says she has a close relationship with her children.
o Ninety-nine percent say their fondest hope for their children is for them to be good people. They’d also like their kids to someday have happy marriages (97 percent), successful careers (79 percent) and children of their own (75 percent). Just 19 percent want their offspring to be rich.
o No mother feels she’s doing everything perfectly. Three quarters wish they could give their children more guidance and advice. Sixty-nine percent said they’d also like to give their kids more attention. And nearly 80 percent of moms with full-time jobs wish they could give more of both.
o Certainly, mothers have an important job to do, and today we take time to honor our mothers for their love and care.
o The Bible has a lot to say not only about mothers, but also the family in general. Today we are going to look at what it says about the duties of children and the duties of parents.
I. Duties of Children
A. Obey your parents (v. 1)
• Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary – to follow the commands or guidance of; to conform to or comply with (an order)
• Greek is in the imperative mood – a command to be followed with or without your approval
• Submit – to yield oneself to the authority or will of another; to permit oneself to be subjected to something
• Suggests that you decide to yield to someone else’s authority
• “In the Lord” – as you would obey the Lord
o If the Lord told you to clean your room, would you do it?
o If the Lord told you to be home at 11:00, would you do it?
o If the Lord told you to be nice to your little brother or sister, would you do it?
• Learning to obey your parents prepares you to obey others in your life – teachers, employers, government, law enforcement, God
• Rules are for your own protection and benefit
o Clean your room teaches you to be organized
o Be home at 11:00, keeps you out of dangerous situations
o Be nice to your brother teaches you to get along with other people, even when you disagree
• Contrary to what you think, you DON’T know everything, and your parents DO know what’s best for you
• Why should you obey your parents?
o “for this is right” – this is approved by and acceptable to God
o Colossians 3:20 “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
o This is what God expects a child to do
B. Honor your parents (vv. 2, 3)
• Greek word translated “honor” 19x, “value” 2x
• Implies showing the worth of something
• Other than God, your parents are your most valuable resource
• How do you “honor” or “show the value” of your parents?
o By treating them with respect
o By doing what they say
o By recognizing their sacrifice
o By speaking highly of them
o By doing things to please them
o By taking care of them
• Why should you honor your parents?
o “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth”
o Not a guarantee that if you do what your parents say that you will live to be 100
o Generally speaking, if you follow good advice you will avoid trouble and danger in your life
o Mom telling me not to get in a car with others who were drinking
o Mom telling me not to play in the road
o Proverbs 6:20 – 23 “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”
II. Duties of Parents
• Word translated “fathers” can refer to both parents
A. Don’t exasperate your children (v. 4a)
• Exasperate – excite the anger of; to irritate or to annoy; to make more grievious
• Children should obey their parents
• Parents should not lay a heavy burden on their children
o When you make a rule, have a good reason for it
Mom explained to me why I shouldn’t go in a car with someone who was drinking
o Make sure that the punishment fits the crime
Mom making me take the dinosaur back to Mrs. Alfrey and apologizing
o Make rules that are appropriate for the age level of your children
No talking in church is appropriate for teens, but not for five year olds
o Make sure that there are no “double standards”
If you won’t let one child stay out until 11:00 until she is 18, don’t let the other child stay out until 11:00 until she is 18
B. Teach your children (v. 4b)
• “Nurture” – Old English word meaning “correction and discipline”
o Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
o Proverbs 19:18 “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”
o Bible does not endorse beating and abusing your children, but it does endorse spanking them and correcting them when they are misbehaving
o Some parents never correct their children when they are little, and then they wonder why they don’t obey them when they are older
o You have a responsibility to teach your child right and wrong, and to teach them to obey and respect authority
• “Admonition” – gentle or friendly reproof; counsel or warning against fault or oversight
o Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
o This is not a guarantee, just a general observation
o You have the responsibility to teach them and to warn them, but they have the responsibility to act upon what they have been taught
o Six hundred teenagers found in New England’s prisons gave these startling facts as to why they were there:
Six out of ten had fathers who drank to excess.
Many had mothers in the same condition.
Three out of four were permitted by parents to come and go as they pleased. No parental oversight.
Seven out of ten had homes where no group or family activities were enjoyed.
And for all of them, no family altar, no Sunday School attendance.
o What kinds of things do we need to teach our children?
Luke 2:51, 52 “And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
Joseph and Mary taught Jesus to develop intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially
Teach your kids that it is important to get an education
Teach your kids that they should avoid doing things that will harm their bodies
Teach your kids that they need to have a relationship with God
Teach your kids that they need to get along with the people in their lives
Conclusion:
Children, are you thankful for your parents and for all they do for you?
o Thomas Edison “I did not have my mother long, but she cast over me an influence which has lasted all my life. The good effects of her early training I can never lose. If it had not been for her appreciation and her faith in me at a critical time in my experience, I should never likely have become an inventor. I was always a careless boy, and with a mother of different mental caliber, I should have turned out badly. But her firmness, her sweetness, her goodness were potent powers to keep me in the right path. My mother was the making of me.”
One day, your parents will be gone – honor and cherish them while you have them
Parents have an awesome responsibility – and you don’t get a second chance
o People say that parenting doesn’t come with a handbook, but they are wrong – you have God’s Word
o Read it, study it, live it, teach it
Children, you have a responsibility also – and you don’t get a second chance
o 1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
o 1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” NLT
If you are a Christian parent you can influence your unsaved children by being faithful to the Lord
If you are a Christian child, you can influence your unsaved parents by being faithful to the Lord
o 1 Peter 3:1,2 “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. “
o Peter is saying that you can influence your unsaved family members for the Lord if you are faithful in performing your duties as a wife, a husband, a child, or as a parent
