Every hiker must have a backup plan. Even if we are not planning to be lost, we must have a backup plan if ever we got lost. One of the ways is to leave our trip plan behind. According to the Hiker’s Responsibility Code, “You are responsible for yourself, so be prepared… To leave your plans. Tell someone where you are going, the trails you are hiking, when you will return and your emergency plans.” And if ever we change anything in our plan, we must make sure that we inform our contacts. If we fail to do so, if ever we really got lost, the search team may end up looking for us in all the wrong places. In short, we have to be accountable. To be accountable is to be answerable. Usually, we give an account to someone whom we consider our authority. Here, we see that our authority is our ally.
Now, we cringe at the “A” word. Authority. It seems to us that the words “authority” and “ally” can’t mix. These words are like oil and water. They can’t go together. Let me rephrase it. Your parents are your partners. You’re mind is now racing. “Parents? Partners? Authority? Ally? Are you serious? You’re kidding, right?” You heard it right. Your authority is your ally. Your parents are your partners.
Before you tune me out, please listen to me first. To some of you, your parents appear to be as smart as Homer Simpson. They just could not seem to get it. They just couldn’t seem to understand you. They are way, way behind as far as you are concerned. It took them some time to learn how to send text messages. They find it hard to figure out how to play with your PSP. When I played with my son’s PSP, I got so dizzy because of motion sickness. There are times we would rather listen to our friends than our parents. Our friends seem to understand us well. But it seems our parents can’t and won’t. I know what you are thinking. I used to think that way, too… until I became a parent myself. Now, I can say, I think of my parents differently. Let us read Proverbs 23:22-25. “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding. The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!”[1]
What does verse 23 mean? “Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding.” If you have the money and you really want something, you would spend whatever is necessary to get it. You would get it at all cost. You guard it with your life. You don’t give it away that easily. They have to pry it from your dead, cold fingers. The Contemporary English Version goes like this: “Invest in truth and wisdom, discipline and good sense, and don’t part with them.” We are commanded to value wisdom above all. It’s an investment. “Wisdom is worth more than silver; it makes you much richer than gold. Wisdom is more valuable than precious jewels; nothing you want compares with her. …Wisdom makes life pleasant and leads us safely along. Wisdom is a life-giving tree, the source of happiness for all who hold on to her.”[2] Do you want to live a pleasant life? Do you want to live a happy life? Get wisdom. Proverbs 3:1-2 also tell us, “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.” Do you want to live a long life? Of course the prosperity here is different from the world’s standard of prosperity. But still, do you want to be prosperous?
Now, how do we get wisdom? Verse 22 tells us one of the ways to become wise. “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” In the Hebrew thinking, to listen is to obey. To despise is to disobey. When we obey our parents, we honor them. Proverbs 1:8 tell us, “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Ideally, parents teach the Bible to their children. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 command parents, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Your authority is your ally. Your parents are your partners.
However, you may be saying, “That’s nice! That is, if my parents would only do that. But they are not even believers. How could they teach me?” I understand your situation. I grew up with parents who are not believers. I just pray you don’t use that as an excuse to disobey your parents. Colossians 3:20 gave this command: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” The verse does not say that your parents have to be Christians first before you obey them. The mere fact that they are your parents entitles them to your obedience. I am not talking about blind obedience. I am not assuming that your parents are perfect or that they always know what’s best for you. Obeying your parents in everything involves sharing your thoughts and feelings. Still, your authority is your ally. Your parents are your partners. Of course, you can always pray that your parents would really get to know the Lord. But that is not a requirement that they must fulfill before you obey them.
Note that it says “obey your parents in everything”. Yes, you read it right, “in everything.” Everything means everything… everything includes everything and excludes nothing… we are to obey our parents in all things. Of course, let me clarify that “everything” does not include the illegal. So, if your parents tell you to break the law of the land, you don’t obey them. So, if they tell you to throw your trash out of the car, just put it in a trash bag for disposal later. Also, “everything” does not include the immoral. So, if your parents tell you to break the law of the Lord, you don’t obey them. For example, if your parents tell you to lie, you are not bound to obey them. With all respect, you may say that you really wanted to obey them but you cannot because it is not in their best interest for you to obey them at this time. But, other than the illegal and immoral, you are to “obey your parents in everything.” And, even if they are not Christians, your parents can and still do teach you things that are right. Your parents can teach you honesty. They can teach hard work. So, focus on the right things that they teach you.
The Message version goes like this: “Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.” You obey the Lord when you obey your parents. How can you say you obey the Lord Whom you can’t see when you can’t obey your parents whom you can see? When you rebel against your parents, you actually rebel against God. One of my favorite authors, Andy Stanley, wrote this, “Teenagers have a tendency to evaluate a rule or request based upon its merits. If they think a rule or request is reasonable—if it makes sense to them or fits in with their plans or doesn’t get in their way—they comply. But if students think that a rule or request is not reasonable or doesn’t make sense or doesn’t fit in with their plans or gets in their way, they tend to believe it is OK to disobey. …The question our students must answer is, who is going to be in control of their lives? As long as their obedience is based upon their own evaluation of the rules and requests handed down by those in authority over them, they are retaining control of their lives. And as long as they are in control, God is on the sidelines.”[3] So, the question is, “Who is in control of your lives? Is it you or God?” One way to measure who’s in control of your life is the way you respond to your authority, to your parents.
As I’ve said, we tend to listen more to our friends than our parents. We feel our friends understand us deeper than our parents. It seems we get more support from our friends than our parents. We’ll talk more about choosing our friends tomorrow. Let’s look at it from a different perspective. You’re the one who chose your friends, right? Now, who chose your parents? Are you the one who chose them? We didn’t have a choice. We got them the moment we were born. Who chose them as our parents? Yes, God chose them for you! Do you really believe God loves you? That He knows what’s best for you? That He is wise enough to choose for you? So, when you question why you got them as parents, who are you really blaming? God! Now, I did not invent that point. Romans 13:1-2 tell us, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” Well, the context talks about the government. But, it teaches us something about why we should respond to our authority. God established our parents as our authority. So, when we go against our parents, we actually go against God. Respect begets respect. When you show respect to your parents, when you obey your parents, they would also respect you. Proverbs 23:24 tell us, “The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him.” If you are wise, your parents will delight in you! Proverbs 10:1 amplifies this thought: “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.”
Instead of focusing on your parents’ weaknesses, focus on their strengths. Instead of pointing out where they fail, point out where they excel. Proverbs 17:6 tell us, “Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.” The Message version goes like this: “Grandparents are proud of their grandchildren, and children should be proud of their parents.” You are to be proud of your parents just as your grandparents are proud of you. Your grandparents always see your good points. What about you? Do you always see your parents’ good points? Come to think of it. Your friends are there during good times. But, ask yourself, “Would they still be there during bad times?” When your parents restrict you, you label them as killjoy. But when you need something from your parents, do you still label them as party pooper? So, are your parents your partners? Do you consider them your allies? It is my prayer that we will fulfill Proverbs 23:25. “May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!”
Here’s our chance. Let us list down all the good points of our parents. We will focus on the positive. Write down the things you admire in them. We may have spent a lot of time looking at their faults. Let us now make an effort to look at where they excel. [Give them some time to write] Now, get a partner and share your list with him or her. [Give time for sharing.] Then, let us take time to thank God for our parents. [Allow some time for prayer.]
Let us pray…
[1]All Bible verses are from the New International Version, unless otherwise noted.
[2]Proverbs 3:14-15, 17-18.
[3]The Seven Checkpoints: Seven Principles Every Teenager Needs to Know
