Take a piece of “notes” paper from the pew in front of you.
Write your answer to this question: What would you say are the three most important qualities of a good friend?
Go ahead, write what you think are the three most important qualities of a good friend. We will be looking at this toward the end of the lesson today.
Last week we began a series from Philippians on spiritual body building, and we talked about getting alone with God. Your assignment was to take at least two hours sometime this past week and spend it alone with the Lord. Did you do it? You were assigned to spend time in prayer and Bible reading seeking God’s presence and asking God questions and listening, instead of giving God a list of help so-and-sos and bless such-and-such and be with this-one and that-one. Your task was mainly to seek God’s nearness and presence and let Him direct you. Did you do it? Raise your hands, those who did. Good! I hope it was a great time of encouragement and strengthening for you. Now for those of you who did not, you get an “F” for last week unless you make it up by doing it this week.
Seriously, this church pays me a lot of money to live and work here among you and preach God’s word. Part of my job is to help you grow in Christ through the preaching of His will, is it not? I can’t grow for you! No one else can do your discipleship for you. You have to work at this. We have to work together! Our Lord deserves all we can give and he expects us to follow him, not just to church services, but in all of our lives. If you walk out of here and nothing changes, one of two things is wrong. Either the Lord was not present here to change you, or you did not accept or recognize his presence and receive his changing power which comes through the word of God and prayer. If what I do here is preach the Word of God, then it follows that each one of you has a responsibility to follow that word. If I’m just here preaching human ideas, then you need to get rid of me and get another preacher who will preach the word of God to you. Why am I talking like this?
This week in my 90 day Bible reading I just went through Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel and Daniel. I stand before you today, a convicted servant of the Lord. We are living in lazy times spiritually. We are letting every worldly thing interfere with doing what God plainly teaches in His word for us to do. We are a spoiled nation who have had it so good, we don’t even know the meaning of affliction, oppression and persecution. But, listen to me now... If things keep moving in the moral decay that we have seen in recent years, we will face a trial of fire against Christianity that this country has never seen before. It is already here, knocking at our doors, flooding through our media, pouring into our communities, our shopping centers, our centers of education, our courts, our laws, and yes, even our churches.
I tell you today, if we do not take God’s word seriously and become strong in the Lord and the strength of his might, we will be destroyed by our own spiritual blindness and fall by our own spiritual sloth. While we busy ourselves with all the tyrannical business of the world and fill up on unspiritual junk food, we fail to see our decaying condition. God wants to turn on the lights and reveal our desperate need for growing stronger in Christ. God wants you and me to work out! Yes, work out our salvation! Work out our salvation so that we are strong in the Lord and the strength of His might! This begins by coming to God through Jesus Christ. By hearing the word of God and receiving the faith that leads to salvation: Romans 10:17. It continues as we recognize our spiritual poverty Matthew 5:3, and mourn over our sinfulness, and experienced godly sorrow that leads to repentance, 2 Cor. 7:10. Penitent faith in the crucified and risen Christ moved us to confess our sinfulness and that Jesus Christ is Lord, is Savior and only begotten Son of God. Romans 10:9-10. Then we became disciples of Jesus Christ through baptism in His name for the remission of sins and to receive the Holy Spirit as a gift. Acts 2:38. There in baptism we enter into His death, we are buried with Him by baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may walk in newness of life. Romans 6:3-4.
That is the beginning of discipleship. Matthew 28:19-20. Discipleship itself is a continuation of following Jesus Christ, of learning to obey all that he commanded. Most of all, it is a growing relationship between you and God and you and other Christians. Without these two relationships there is no discipleship! Loving God is demonstrated by our love for others! We can’t just take one and leave the other. It’s both or neither!
Spiritual body building starts with God, coming to God, experiencing God’s presence, worshipping God, walking with God. Nothing in the world can take the place of God. Loving God is still the first commandment, it is still foremost in importance. God has given us access into his presence through Jesus Christ. There is NO OTHER WAY. But get this... it is your assignment for this weeks work out and spiritual body building: drawing near to God always affects our relationships with one another. Always! Without exception. Period. End of sentence.
Listen again to Philippians 2:1-4
1 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,
2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
In other words, if verse one is true, what does that mean? Verse 1 is about experiencing God’s presence in Christ. Coming before God in Christ and finding encouragement, consolation of love, fellowship of the Spirit, affection, and compassion.
Did you know that these are experiences of those who come close to God? There is the objective truth of God’s love for us and Jesus’ death for our sins and resurrection for our hope. These are objective truths of God. But what happens to the Christian who draws near to God and walks with God? What benefits and blessings does this bring? There are subjective, experiential matters here too! These are not mere emotions, they are blessings. Encouragement, consolation, fellowship of the Spirit, affection, and compassion, these are also part of the Christian walk with God, are they not? Is that in your Bible?
These subjective blessings require time spent with God. You’ve got to get with Him. You’ve got to turn off the TV or ipod and get alone with God and just come before Him and... let me say this purposely: ENJOY IT. The subjective benefits and blessings of God’s nearness require fellowship with Him in worship, reading His word, and prayer, also rejoicing in Him constantly. We must reflect on His goodness, holiness, grace, and love. We are called to think on these things and do Christian things to experience God’s nearness and peace. Look at Philippians 4:4-9.
But then comes the Philippians 2:2-4. After we experience verse one, we need to start working on verses 2-4. Some of us will find this more challenging than others.
I am reminded of our kids. Our daughter Jennifer was always a little introverted. The other kids at church seemed to always want to be around her, but she really liked being at home with just mom and dad and Tim and Rachel. We used to work on this with her to encourage her to be friendly to others. When she was about 8 or 9 years old she came home from church and announced to Jenny and I, “Guess what? Today at church I got along with all my friends I don’t like!” When she was a teenager, she would never answer the phone and never, ever go to spend the night with anyone else. As for friends, when she made them, Jen would have one or two friends outside the family, but she would be fiercely loyal and build deep bonds of friendship.
Rachel and Tim on the other hand, and particularly Rachel... she was a social butterfly! There were boys buzzing all around her most of the time and if it weren’t for me and Jenny making and enforcing rules I think the telephone would have bonded to her face. She loved being with people! She had several “best friends” and she deeply cared about every one of them, and felt responsible for their personal happiness. She saw it as her job to make her friends enjoy life.
Are you a social butterfly with lots of friends or are you an introverted sort who wants only one or two friends, and even then you get tired thinking about having to get out and go do stuff with them. Or, maybe you see yourself somewhere in the middle. God makes all of us a little different with different gifts and talents, but God made ALL of us to love Him and to love others.
In order to have what we need to build strong spiritual friendships we need a strong relationship with God. The Bible constantly ties these two things together. Building worldly friendships is one thing. Building spiritual friendships is another. A basic part of spiritual body building has to do with building spiritual friendships. Doing friendship God’s way.
Now take out the note paper that you wrote earlier about the qualities of a good friend.
I wonder what was on your list??? (Look at one of the younger guys and ask).
What is a spiritual friendship? How is it different from a friendship that is not spiritual?
Are all church friendships spiritual? Is going to church together what makes you spiritual friends?
It can certainly help, but it doesn’t happen by simply meeting at church together. Some Christians say that they have better friends with people who are not members of the Lord’s church, not Christians! I think that is a shame. Paul thought so too. Some of the Christians at Philippi were not being very Christ-like in their relationships with one another. Look at 4:2-3
Who are these two women? What’s going on with their relationship? They need to learn how to be spiritual friends with one another.
This may just be one of the main reasons Paul writes this letter. That is to teach this church about spiritual friendship in the Lord. What are the qualities of spiritual friendship? Your assignment this week is to read this little letter and note all that it says about relationships in the Lord. See what you learn about spiritual friendship. Try to list the qualities God’s word teaches that we need to have. I tell you, this little book is chock full of information about just that.
Do you see this as important? Let me speak with our younger members for just a minute. Do you think having spiritual friends is important? How much? How do you tell the difference between a spiritual friendship and an unspiritual friendship?
Listen, spiritual friends help you walk with God. Unspiritual ones don’t. Spiritual friends care about your relationship with Jesus Christ and pray for you and with you. Spiritual friends are not selfish, conceited, or out for their own interests. Spiritual friends will tell you the truth, even when you don’t want to hear it. Spiritual friends won’t let you disobey God or go to hell without a fight. Spiritual friends are those you can call on at any time of day or night if you are struggling and who will care and pray and offer God’s word to you about your needs. They won’t let you gossip about others, or let you excuse your sinfulness or play the blame game with you. They don’t coddle your sin or treat you like nothing is wrong when you are disobedient to God.
Galatians 6:1-5 describes how a spiritual friend will be toward you if you are caught in a sinful trap.
On the other hand, spiritual friends will rejoice over your successes and take real pleasure in seeing you do well, especially as regards your following Jesus Christ.
So, what are the three most important qualities of a good friend?
I don’t know what you wrote down, but here’s a list of 10 qualities for you that Paul wrote for us in Philippians: (check to see if any of these are on your list)
Verse 1 They have a living relationship with God that strengthens them
Verse 2 They seek to be united in Christ: in one mind, one love, one spirit, one purpose.
Verse 3 They are unselfish, humble, and regard others before themselves
Verse 4 They don’t simply lookout for their own interests, but also the interests of others
Verses 5-11 They strive to be like Jesus, in humility, service and sacrificially obedient trust in God.
Verse 12 They are working out their salvation with fear and trembling
Verse 13 God is working in them
Verse 14 They are not grumblers and complainers, but are obedient to God
Verse 15 They are above reproach and look like lights in the middle of this dark world
Verse 16 They hold on to, and hold out the word of life, the word of God
Verse 17 They are full of joy
This week, read Philippians and look for what it teaches about spiritual friendships. Next Sunday evening (Mother’s day) Lord willing, I hope to share with you a little exercise in building spiritual friendship that we will do together.
In closing, ask yourself this: who do I have as a spiritual friend? To whom am I a being a spiritual friend?
Loving God is number one, and if you love God, the next step is to practice number two, spiritual friendship. How are you doing?
