Although it has been around in some form for quite some time, it is only in this century that so called “reality TV” has become a staple of television programming both here in the United States and around the world. Because of the popularity of shows like “Survivor” and “American Idol” as well as the relatively low cost of producing these programs, we have seen a proliferation of this kind of programming in the last few years.
But frankly, I have to laugh at the term “reality TV” because at least for me none of these programs reflects the reality of my life. How many of us in our day-to-day lives try to survive the elements as well as the scheming of a bunch of other people in order to win a million dollars? Or how many of us can sing well enough to make it to the finals of American Idol and get a record deal? Who among us has a chance to be America’s Next Top Model? Or how many of us could take several weeks off of our jobs to travel around the world in “The Amazing Race”?
For most of us reality means getting up each day to go to work or school, trying to juggle our finances in order to pay all the bills, changing diapers, studying for finals, shopping for groceries and fixing meals, dealing with adversity and pain and struggles of every kind. And no one is going to pay us a million dollars to follow us around with a camera so others can watch us do those things.
I think that’s why I’m really enjoying our journey through Ecclesiastes so much. The author, Qoheleth, consistently deals head on with the messy realities of life. He doesn’t try to sugar coat things or close his eyes to the things that he observes that don’t make sense to him. And in the process, he is teaching us how to deal with life in the real world. Perhaps that is best seen in the passage that we’ll look at this morning.
1 A good name is better than precious ointment, And the day of death than the day of one’s birth; 2 Better to go to the house of mourning Than to go to the house of feasting, For that is the end of all men; And the living will take it to heart. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, For by a sad countenance the heart is made better. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, But the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. 5 It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise Than for a man to hear the song of fools. 6 For like the crackling of thorns under a pot, So is the laughter of the fool. This also is vanity. 7 Surely oppression destroys a wise man’s reason, And a bribe debases the heart. 8 The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. 9 Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools. 10 Do not say, "Why were the former days better than these?" For you do not inquire wisely concerning this. 11 Wisdom is good with an inheritance, And profitable to those who see the sun. 12 For wisdom is a defense as money is a defense, But the excellence of knowledge is that wisdom gives life to those who have it.
Ecclesiastes 7:1-12 (NKJV)
This section is actually quite different from the rest of Ecclesiastes. It seems to be much more similar to what we might find in the Book of Proverbs. And, at first glance, it appears that these are just a bunch of unrelated, random thoughts. But, as we’ve discovered in other parts of Ecclesiastes where that also seemed to be the case, a closer examination reveals that there really is one underlying theme here.
That underlying theme is found in a single word that is seen explicitly eight times in this passage and which is also implied in several other places – the word “better”. By using that word, Qoheleth is acknowledging that life here on earth “under the sun” isn’t perfect. But in spite of that, there are some things in this life that are better than others. And if we want to live the kind of abundant, fulfilling lives that God wants us to have then we need to choose to incorporate those things into our lives.
At the beginning of this passage, Qoheleth sets the stage for what is to follow with these words:
A good name is better than precious ointment…
In Qoheleth’s day, precious ointment was not a bad thing. In fact, it was very valuable and had many uses. But Qoheleth makes that point that even though precious ointment is good, there is something that is better – a good name. As he has already pointed out earlier in the book, even a good name is fleeting, but it is still more lasting and valuable than something like precious ointment. That is the pattern that Qoheleth is going to repeat in the rest of this section. Even though there is nothing here on earth “under the sun” that is permanent and has lasting value, there are clearly some things that are better than others.
There are six sayings in this section that predominantly feature the Hebrew word for “good” or “better”. They can be grouped into three doublets that can help us to choose what is better as we live our lives here in the real world.
IN THE REAL WORLD…
1. Funerals are better than frivolity (vv. 1-4)
Although the day of one’s birth is good, just like precious ointment is good, Qoheleth makes the case that death is even better. Once again we need to be very careful here not to take this verse out of context, which will lead us to erroneous conclusions. Let’s be clear that there are a couple of things that Qoheleth is not saying here:
• He is not saying that we might as well die because life is meaningless.
• He is not saying that death is to be preferred to life or that it would be wise to choose death.
I certainly don’t think that Qoheleth would agree with the words of country singer Doug Stone who lamented the fact that his woman had left him for another man with these words:
I’d be better off in a pine box,
On a slow train back to Georgia,
In fact, if we look at this entire passage, it is quite clear that Qoheleth is not referring to our own death at all. The dead person cannot be one of the mourners at his or her own funeral. Only the living can go to the house of mourning. So the point that Qoheleth seems to be making here is that we have more opportunity to gain real wisdom from the death of a loved one that we do at the birth of the child.
Funerals are not at all for the person that died, but rather for those who remain behind. And perhaps the greatest value of a funeral is that it causes those who are there to consider their own mortality and what that should mean for the way that they live their lives. Maybe that’s what the Psalmist had in mind when he wrote these words:
Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12 (NIV)
One of the things that I am always careful to do when I perform a funeral is to encourage people to use that event as a catalyst to evaluate their own lives, and especially their relationship with God. And then I encourage them to think about what impact that ought to have on how they use whatever remaining days that God might give them here on this earth.
I’m convinced that one of the reasons that teenagers make so many stupid decisions is that they don’t consider their own mortality. They are much more interested in having fun and life and pursuing frivolity. Even when they are confronted with the death of one of their friends, it seems like the impact is very short-lived.
I still remember when Pete was in high school and several students from his school were out partying and drinking early one morning and rolled their vehicle not too far from where we lived at the time, killing several of them and seriously injuring others. And for a time, many of the students there were forced to confront the idea of their mortality and they changed some of their behavior. But it wasn’t too long until many of them returned to the very same behaviors that had caused the death of their classmates.
Qoheleth is obviously not trying to say that there is no place for pleasure and joy in our lives. He has consistently instructed his readers to enjoy the things that God has given them. But as I get older, I think I can better understand what he is saying here. As I get closer to the end of my life here on earth, I have a greater sense of urgency about spending my time and effort on things that will have lasting value and things that will advance the kingdom of God. And many of the frivolous things of life that I once enjoyed no longer hold the attraction that they once did.
2. Friction is better than flattery (vv. 5-7)
Most of us don’t like to be told that we’re wrong, or that there is something in our lives that we need to change or deal with. We don’t want anything that will cause friction in our lives. But as Qoheleth accurately points out, the rebuke of a wise person is certainly much more beneficial for us that the flattery of fools. And I just love the picture that he gives to illustrate his point. He says that the flattery of a fool is like the crackling of thorns under a pot. In Qoheleth’s day no one would have been foolish enough to try and heat a pot by burning thorns. They would barely generate enough heat to warm the pot, but they would make a bunch of crackling noise. If Qoheleth were here in Tucson today, he might have written something more like this:
For like the crackling of the tumbleweed under the steak is the laughter of fools.
Can you imagine trying to cook a steak over a tumbleweed? But that’s exactly how useful the flattering words of a fool are for us as we live our lives in the real world. Those words might make us feel good temporarily, but they won’t do us any good in the long run.
On the other hand, the rebuke of a brother who has our best interests at heart does indeed have lasting value. The Psalmist certainly recognized that:
Let a righteous man strike me - it is a kindness; let him rebuke me - it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it…
Psalm 141:5 (NIV)
The Proverbs are also filled with verses that show the value of a well-placed rebuke:
Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
Proverbs 9:8 (NIV)
He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.
Proverbs 15:31 (NIV)
Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.
Proverbs 25:12 (NIV)
No rebuke is ever pleasant at the time. Most of us would just as soon avoid it at all costs. But it is also a necessary part of helping us to grow in our faith and to become more like Jesus. I think we can all relate to these words from the writer of the Book of Hebrews:
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)
Much of what Qoheleth writes about in this passage has to do with our desire for comfort in life. It is certainly more comfortable to engage in frivolity than to reflect upon death and how that should impact the way that we live. And it is obviously more comfortable to hear flattering words than a word of rebuke. But God is much more interested in our character than our comfort, so he brings death and rebuke into our lives in order to develop our character.
Before we leave this point, let me share one other observation. There is a big difference between just being critical and rebuking someone. I think we all know people who are constantly finding fault with others and criticizing them because they think that somehow elevates them to a higher level than the other person. Rebuke, on the other hand, is always a result of genuine love and care for the well-being of the other person. It is grounded in a clear understanding of the Scriptures and a desire to see the other person benefit from living the kind of life that is pleasing to God.
Sometimes it is hard for us to discern between criticism and rebuke, especially when we are the object of another person’s words. However, I’ve found that in most cases there is always something that I can learn from what the other person said, regardless of their motivation. So even when what the other person says is very clearly criticism and not rebuke, I try to listen and see if God is using that person to reveal something in my life that I need to deal with.
3. Forbearance is better than fantasy (vv.8-10)
In these verses, Qoheleth commends the value of patiently forbearing in life because the end of a thing is better than the beginning. He is reinforcing what he has taught consistently throughout this book – life is a journey, not a destination. And we are to enjoy that journey.
But far too many of us can’t do that because we’re still living in the past, longing for the “good ole days.” But Qoheleth writes that it is not wise to dwell in the past.
I’m convinced that perhaps more than anything else we’ve discovered so far in Ecclesiastes this is a message that those of us who are followers of Jesus need to take to heart. I know just how guilty I am of focusing on why the former days were better than these. And I know that I lot of you do, too. How do I know that? I read the emails that you send to me – you know the ones that reminisce about the good ole days when prayer was still allowed in school and when people got married before they slept together and had kids. The ones that reveal that the top seven discipline problems in schools 50 years ago were talking, chewing gum, making noise, running in the halls, getting out of turn in line, wearing improper clothes, and not putting paper in wastebaskets and today they are drug and alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery, assault and guns in the school.
But no matter how much we fantasize about those days, we can’t bring them back. So instead we need to focus on the here and now and be, as Qoheleth described it “patient in spirit”. We need to deal with the reality of today with patience, perseverance and forbearance.
The Bible consistently teaches that God’s children are not to spend our time and effort trying to change the circumstances that we are in, but rather to live wisely in the midst of those circumstances. Perhaps Paul best summarized all of that teaching with these words:
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)
Paul discovered that the key to contentment was not fantasizing about the past or trying to change his circumstances, but rather to live patiently in the present, dependent upon the God who provided him with everything that he needed to do that.
Throughout this passage, in addition to the focus on those things that are better here in the real world, there is one other contrast that Qoheleth draws consistently – the contrast between wisdom and foolishness. And in every case the wise person has chosen what is better – funerals rather than frivolity, friction rather than flattery, forbearance rather than fantasy. The fool, on the other hand, has chosen to settle for that which might even be good at times, but that which is not as good as the option selected by the wise person. So it’s no surprise that Qoheleth wraps up this whole section by focusing on…
THE BENEFIT OF WISDOM
• Wisdom preserves life
The NKJV, which we are using this morning, ends this section with these words:
But the excellence of knowledge is that wisdom gives life to those who have it.
Most of our English translations more accurately translate the word “gives” as “preserves”. In other words the benefit of wisdom is that it preserves life.
One of the things that we can observe about wisdom is that the results aren’t always immediately observed. So we have a tendency to often take the easy way out and try to anesthetize ourselves to the pain of the world by engaging in a world of fantasy and escaping into frivolous, distracting pleasures. But in the end, we really only end up losing our lives.
But if we’re willing to be wise and choose what is better, then Jesus has promised that He will preserve our life, not only just here in our lives on earth but for eternity:
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.
Mark 8:35 (NIV)
Life here in the real world will never be perfect, it will never be easy and it will never be free from pain and discomfort. But if we choose the things which are better, then it can be fulfilling and meaningful.
