Being a Christian Friend
Galatians 4:12-20
A Christian Friend will Seek to Ease the Restoring of Relationship
A Christian Friend will Remind Others Who They are in Christ
A Christian Friend will Speak the Truth
A Christian Friend will not Seek to Use You
A Christian Friend will See You as Family
What does it mean to be a friend?
Everybody wants friends, don’t they?
Actually, there are some people that really don’t want friends.
What they really want people who will tell them what they want to hear.
Others may want people that will only provide something for them.
But are these people really friends?
To me friends are people who are going to be there in good and bad times.
They will seek to make you better by being honest with you
Will challenge you when you are wrong.
Will support you when you are right, even if everyone else thinks you are wrong.
A True friend is there for all of that.
We are going to be looking more at what a Christian friend is today as we continue on in the book of Galatians.
Throughout the book of Galatians, Paul has been arguing doctrinally about the Galatians turning away from grace.
He has talked about
Christ’s crucifixion
Faith
The Law
The Holy Spirit
Becoming sons of God
Now Paul begins a more personal argument. He speaks to them through and about his personal relationship with the Galatians.
He is a true friend to them.
We are reading from
Galatians 4:12-20 (p. 825)
I want us to look today at these verses and find out how we can be a True Christian friend to those around us like Paul was to the Galatians.
12 I plead with you, brothers, become like me, for I became like you. You have done me no wrong. 13 As you know, it was because of an illness that I first preached the gospel to you. 14 Even though my illness was a trial to you, you did not treat me with contempt or scorn. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel of God, as if I were Christ Jesus himself. 15 What has happened to all your joy? I can testify that, if you could have done so, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me. 16 Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?
17 Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you [from us], so that you may be zealous for them. 18 It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always and not just when I am with you. 19 My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, 20 how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you!
The first thing we see is that a
A Christian Friend will Seek to Ease the Restoring of Relationship.
Galatians 4:12-14
When relationships get strained, a true friend is going to strive to make it easy for that relationship to be restored.
Paul has shared with them in these previous chapters the doctrinal basis of their beliefs and
now he is encouraging them and reminding them about their personal relationship, their friendship.
Paul does not want to make it anymore difficult than it already is for the Galatians. He lets them know that they have not wronged him in anyway, and he reminds them of the kind of relationship they shared together.
They may have diverted from what He taught, but He wants them to come back to the truth of what He taught.
He is not trying to boost his own ego with “I told you so’s” or by cutting them down so he looks better.
Instead, Paul is letting them know that he continues to want that personal relationship with them and that they have not permanently damaged that relationship by being deceived by these false teachers.
They still could return to the truth and their relationship would be as it was before.
Application
Do we ever let our pride get in the way of someone growing in the ways of God?
If someone has disagreed with us and moved away from the truth, do we strive to help them come back to the truth easily or do we make it difficult?
Do we want them to come and admit that they were wrong and we were right so our own ego can be built up?
Or do we reach out and make it easy for a person to return to the truth regardless if they build up our ego.
If a relationship has been strained by something, make it easy for a Christian brother or sister to be restored into relationship with you.
That is a true sign of Christian friendship.
Sometimes it is going to be issues of maturity on some non essential of the faith. In those cases we need to let the Spirit of God grow a person so they can continue to mature.
In cases like with Paul and the Galatians when it is concerning a fundamental doctrine of the faith with a newer Christian, we need to stand firm on the truth, but continue to keep them in relationship so they can return to the truth and relationship can continue or be restored.
A second thing we see is that
A Christian Friend will Remind Others Who They are in Christ
Galatians 4:15
15 What has happened to all your joy? I can testify that, if you could have done so, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me.
Paul is saying here,
Hey you are a child of God. You were experiencing incredible fruit and joy in this life as His Child. You aren’t anymore.
Have you forgotten who you were?
There are times, when we get deceived or beaten down by the devil using the circumstances of our life to distract us away from being who we really are, A child of the King.
When that happens, we begin losing the joy of the Christian life.
That is when we need friends to come along side of us and remind us who we are.
To remind us of the joy we have had in the past, even during times of sacrifice.
Paul says, to the Galatians, you used to be so joyful and you were joyful even in the midst of wanting to sacrifice greatly for me.
Remember who you are and remind other Christians who they are.
This requires being in relationship with people so we know the things that have happened in their life and the things they have done.
Get to know others. Share your lives together. Spend time with them.
You can’t be a friend without spending time with them.
But when you do, and if that friend is drawn away at some point, you will be able to remind him of who he is and what God has done in his life as his child.
The third thing we see is that
A Christian Friend will Speak the Truth
Galatians 4:16
16 Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?
Paul had
shared the truth of the gospel with the Galatians
shared the truth that they are now heading in the wrong direction.
There are going to be times when it is difficult to be truthful because we think it will damage the relationship.
There are times when the truth can be hard to hear.
Nobody likes to hear they are wrong on something.
It may initially hurt someone to hear that they are doing something wrong.
The key is to speak the truth in Love. (Ephesians 4:15)
When we are speaking difficult truths to someone, we need to do it in a way that also lets them know that we love them.
Throughout this epistle, Paul has been tough but, as evidenced in this section, he is also loving and not only in this section, but throughout their relationship.
And that is the important thing for all of us to know.
Loving people is not a one time event. It is lived out each day.
1 John 3:18 - Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
Paul loved the Galatians with actions. And the Galatians had loved Paul with their actions. They had had a good relationship while he was there.
Now some where thinking Paul was their enemy because he had told them the truth.
Paul is still willing to risk them being an enemy because the truth is too important.
Application
When we have loved people in visible ways, we earn capital to be able to speak the truth in a loving way, even when it may not be well received initially.
We have neighbors and friends that we need to love so that we can be able to tell them the truth of the gospel.
The truth that Jesus died for their sins
The truth that they are a sinner just like you, but they can have salvation by God’s grace, just like you.
Would it not be awful to go through this life with friends, and then for them to wind up in hell because you did not want to share with them the truth of the gospel for fear of hurting your friendship?
What kind of friendship is that?
Don’t let that happen.
Be a true Christian friend and speak the truth, but speak it in love.
A fourth thing we see is
A Christian Friend will not Seek to Use You
Galatians 4:17-18
17 Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you [from us], so that you may be zealous for them. 18 It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always and not just when I am with you.
Paul is telling the Galatians that the Judaizers are seeking just to use the Galatians for their own purpose, without any concern for what is best for the Galatians.
Paul told the Romans the same thing when he wrote in
Romans 16:17-18
17 I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18 For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.
The Judaizers who came to Galatia just wanted the Galatians to be zealous for them.
This is a great danger of even good pastors today. Pride clouds thinking.
Paul says it is ok to be zealous, provided that it is for good. But these Judaizers were trying to sever the relationship that Paul had with the Galatians so as they could use them for their own purposes.
This type of behavior is one of 2 things.
Either it is immature, childish behavior/prideful or
It is cult like behavior
If you want to be friends with me, you can’t be friends with Him. That is the childish/prideful way.
The cult like aspect is more like, if you want to be part of our group, you will not be friends with anyone who does not agree with our way.
The idea is to get them away from all dissenting opinions. Notice that these Judaizers used to come in after Paul had begun churches, when Paul wasn’t around.
It is easy to attack someone who is not around to defend himself.
Now it is not bad to want to keep our friends away from negative influences.
But how do you determine what is negative and what is positive?
What if you have 2 people saying they care about you and that the other person is a negative influence for you; who do you believe?
You believe the person who speaks the truth.
How do you know which is true?
You test what they say against scripture.
Scripture is an objective truth that each of us can use as a standard.
Our job is to be so familiar with the truth of God, that we will be able to recognize false teaching.
When Paul was preaching in Berea in
Acts 17:11-12
11 Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. 12 Many of the Jews believed, as did also a number of prominent Greek women and many Greek men.
If you are preaching truth, you won’t mind to have people check out what you have to say. The truth is the truth. It will correspond to reality and it will correspond to what God has to say in His word.
Test things against the word. If you are being confused by what people are saying, dive into the word and pray and ask God for wisdom.
Finally, we see that
A Christian Friend will See You as Family
My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, 20 how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you!
When a woman is birthing a child,
that child is the source of great pain to the woman, but that woman also has great love for that child.
In the same way, the Galatians are causing Paul great pain because they are moving away from grace, but he loves them none the less.
Also, just as we raise children, and they mature and grow, we see an outward manifestation of how we raise our kids.
The same is true for Christians. There is a growing process. Paul is wanting Christ to be seen in the lives of the Galatians in an outward way.
This is the normal course for all Christians. There should be visible evidence of Christ living in you.
Earlier in this letter Paul says
Galatians 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Romans 8:29
29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
That is the outward manifestation that those who have become family by receiving Jesus Christ.
To be a Christian Friend we need to help others be discipled in the faith, just as Paul is doing with the Galatians.
Just as we raise kids in our biological families
We raise disciples in our spiritual families.
That is what loving them as family means. It means spending time with them and helping others grow in the faith and mature in their faith.
Be a Christian friend to someone and treat them as family by helping them grow in the Lord.
Conclusion
There are probably some here who haven’t experienced Christian friendship and there may be some here who have not been a friend like they need to.
Commit to changing that today.
There are people here who can’t be that Christian friend, because you haven’t put your trust in Christ.
You may have gone to church your whole life.
It isn’t about going to church
It is about relationship.
It is about relationship with Jesus Christ.
You start that relationship by receiving Him as your Savior.
He is the Friend that will never let you down.
Put your trust in Him today.
Believe not only with your mind,
Believe with your will by telling God that you receive Jesus as your Savior, that you know He died for your sins and that he rose again from the dead. Put your trust in His work for your salvation.
And for those who have not been the Christian friend they need to be, ask for God’s help in being that person.
Ask for his help in overcoming pride
Ask for his help in sacrificing where you need to
Ask for his help in being a Christian friend to someone this week.
Let’s pray.
A Christian Friend will Seek to Ease the Restoring of Relationship
A Christian Friend will Remind Others Who They are in Christ
A Christian Friend will Speak the Truth
A Christian Friend will not Seek to Use You
A Christian Friend will See You as Family
