Rebuilding: A Family Affair
Nehemiah 3:3,10-12,23
It’s the most powerful institution on earth! No, it’s not the United State Congress or the Supreme Court for that matter. And it isn’t the Presidency, the World Court or the United Nations. Although such institutions are singularly powerful and no one individual would ever wish to come up against any of them alone, there is no man-made institution more powerful than the first institution created and the one that has remained with us for the longest––the family. When God created the family, He did so with a purpose and plan. This was not to be an institution that would last for some time; it would be an institution that would last for all time. Able to withstand the mightiest pressures of economics, politics and society, like a cedar planted on Lebanon’s hills, it had to be enduring, a bulwark of strength and a bastion of security. God had a plan when he blessed Adam and Eve with children and that plan did not include failure.
What is it that empowers the institution of the family and perpetuates it? Is it something more than a divine idea? Is there a tangible force within it that both confirms and enables it?
At age 16, Andor Foldes was already a skilled pianist, but he was experiencing a troubled year. In the midst of the young Hungarian’s personal struggles, one of the most renowned pianists of the day came to Budapest. Emil von Sauer was famous not only for his abilities; he was also the last surviving pupil of the great Franz Liszt. Von Sauer requested that Foldes play for him. Foldes obliged with some of the most difficult works of Bach, Beethoven, and Schumann. When he finished, von Sauer walked over to him and kissed him on the forehead. “My son,” he said, “when I was your age I became a student of Liszt. He kissed me on the forehead after my first lesson, saying, ‘Take good care of this kiss––it comes from Beethoven, who gave it to me after hearing me play.’ I have waited for years to pass on this sacred heritage, but now I feel you deserve it.” As parents we possess an awesome weapon, one that no institution on earth can equal. We possess the power of the legacy. Now, it is our job to make sure that the power and example planted within us by our parents is passed on to our children. That’s what empowers the family and perpetuates it.
One of the closest things to the heart of God is the family. God created the family to be in relationship with him. God created the family to be in service of him. God created the family to mentor future generations of followers. It’s a family affair. In order to build strong cities, Nehemiah realized he needed to start with the family. From the 44 groups listed in Chapter 3 to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, we see one particular group, families, and learn several lessons.
First, families continue by passing on a legacy or blessing. The word blessing appears more than 700 times throughout the Scriptures. This was the means that grace, power and encouragement could be poured into the lives of others and as parents, into the lives of our children. Rolf Garborg in “The Family Blessing” writes: “The Old Testament word for blessing is berakah which means the transmittal or endowment of God’s goodness and favor. For Abraham, the berakah was God’s spoken declaration of favor that would convey God’s power to make him into a great nation able to transmit that divine favor and power to the whole world. The Hebrews believed that the spoken word carried with it great power for good and evil…..When we recognize the power of the spoken word for good or evil in our daily interactions with those at home, we can learn to use that power intentionally to bring blessing to our children.” The first kind of blessing is the spoken word.
There’s the story of a woman whose dad owned a grocery store when she was growing up. Several times a week the milkman would deliver milk to the store, and every time he saw her he would say, "How is my little Miss America doing today? So beautiful, so talented." This went on every day for years and years, "How is my little Miss America doing today? So beautiful, so talented." When she became a high school junior she entered her first pageant. Her goal was to become Miss America which she won in the 1980’s. In her acceptance speech she gave the credit to the milkman saying, "Those words motivated me and shaped my life." Think about the power of words and the impact they can have. Then think about the power of the words of a parent or a grandparent when they put their arms around them and say, "You are loved. God treasures you and I treasured you. You matter." Words can impact a person for the rest of their lives.
There’s a second kind of blessing or legacy you pass on and that’s your example. Each of these men had a decision to make. God’s call through Nehemiah was to rebuild the wall and the invitation to participate in God’s work was extended to all. The walls needed to be 15 feet tall and more than 10 feet thick. So this was not a weekend project. This was a call of great sacrifice to leave their homes and their work and labor, day in and day out until the walls were complete. The choice for every family and every parent is to either to get involved or pull out the lawn chairs and watch from the sideline. Dan Steadman writes, “As I was preparing for Sunday School, I caught a few minutes of a talk show that was honoring fathers. A young woman was struggling to explain what she thought a father’s job was: meeting needs around the home, doing things, fixing things. The commentator summarized her fuzzy thoughts in one word: providing. She agreed. Another young fellow, when asked what his dad did, said, “He watches.” The author asked the boy what his father did. The boy replied, "He watches." "You mean that he is a night watchman? "Oh, no," the little boy exclaimed. "He just watches.""Well, what does he watch?" "I don’t know if I can tell you everything but I can name a few things. He watches TV, he watches Mom do the housework, he watches for the paperboy, he watches the weather... And I think he watches girls, too," he said, with an impish grin on his face. "He watches the stock market, football, he watches mom spank us, and he watches us do our homework. He watches us leave to go to church and school and shopping. He watches Mom write letters and me play with my dog. He watches Mom pay the bills - but mainly he just watches," said the little fellow, with a note of sadness in his voice. And then Dan writes, “Although fathers need to be informed, surely just ‘watching’ isn’t enough.” It’s not enough to be informed about God and what He is doing in the world. We need to get up off the pew with our families and get involved.
That leads us to our second point: families instill a strong work ethic in their children. This was no easy job of rebuilding walls. There were stones weighing in excess of 2 tons. It was long, difficult, hard labor. Anybody that has done some type of remodeling knows how difficult and fraught with obstacles it can be. It’s not work for the faint of heart. Perhaps the best gift we can give our children is a strong work ethic and we can do that through our own example and giving our children work to do, rather than just always giving them something. Perhaps nothing in life will serve our children better than a desire to do their very best, no matter what they are doing and to see through work until the very end.
John Corts tells the story of when he was 16 and he and his younger cousins went to visit his grandfather’s farm. They couldn’t wait to get there and go out into the fields. They wanted to pitch hay and ride on the tractor. It sounded like so much fun. But the grandfather was reluctant to let them go. They whined and begged until finally he said to John, "You’re the eldest. You can take the kids to the field if you promise not to bring them back early. You must keep them out there until the end of the day." John said, "OK." So they all got on the hay wagon and the tractor pulled them out to the field. They began bailing hay and very quickly, the kids got tired, and they started complaining. It was hot and sticky, and they were miserable. They began asking to go back to the house. But John said, "No, Grandfather told me to keep you out here. At lunchtime, they were exhausted, and most of them were agitated. It was very hot; the hay was down their backs, and it itched, and they wanted to go back. But again John said, "No, Grandfather told me to keep you here." At about 3:00 PM, a big black storm cloud came over, and the kids got scared. Some were crying. "Please!" they begged. "Let us go home." Still, the answer remained "no." At about 5:00 John said, "All right, it’s time to quit." He got them all on the hay wagon, and they went back to the house. After they had had their baths and eaten dinner, they rested for a while. Grandpa praised them warmly for the work they had done and they were very proud of themselves. That’s when Grandpa told John why he wanted them to stay in the field, "This farm has been successful through the years for one reason. We have stayed in the field when we felt like coming in. We did what needed to be done even when we wanted to quit. That is why I wanted the kids to have the satisfying experience of staying with something until it was finished."
The rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem was going to be a long hard process with many delays and challenges and opposition including the threat of physical harm looming over their shoulders. Not only were the fathers showing an example of being committed to God’s plan and work but also having the heart and passion to stick to it until the end.
Third, families put God first in their lives. To be a strong family means to place God first in everything you do. It means when God calls, you answer and jump right in. It means reading Scripture together as a family. It means praying before you eat a meal together and praying as a family. It means everyone attending Sunday School together. It means making worship a weekly event each Sunday. It means being an example for your children in the faith. I remember very clearly my mother asking me to put my parent’s tithe in the offering plate each month. My father was a pastor and my mother a pre-School teacher but that check for $600 a month made an impression on me. Now I’m not going to lie to you: I thought about how many toys I could buy which my friends had but I did not. But I can also tell you that I have tithed ever since. It’s not just about putting God first in your family life but also letting your children see God first in your life too.
Putting God first also means serving God together as a family. This is what the families working on the wall were doing, laboring and toiling under the hot sun to do the will of God. One of the things my family has done is come serve in the feeding ministry the first Saturday of each month. The family that serves together and puts Christ first together is bound together and that creates strong families. Children who come from strong families centered on Christ become radical followers of Jesus. Children who come from strong families usually become strong parents. There’s something about the healthy family which prepares children for life. It’s a family affair.
Fourth, families choose to make a difference where they are. “Adjoining this, Jedaiah son of Harumaph made repairs opposite his house….” Nehemiah teaches us that God uses the people we call family to restore the brokenness in a broken city. Nehemiah realized that to fortify the walls of Jerusalem, he is going to have to use fortified families who heard the call to work and had the commitment to respond. Nehemiah needed families who were committed to the mission and were willing to make an impact where they were. The families who lived in Jerusalem worked on the wall in their neighborhood. Why? Because they had ownership of that area and they were invested in it. Let me ask you? How invested are you in your neighborhood? What impact are you having ? How are you helping to rebuild the broken homes and broken lives of your neighbors? How are you being the light of Christ and the salt of the earth for the people next door?
One thing you need to understand is that though these families were rebuilding the outer walls of Jerusalem, the inner walls of the lives still lied in ruins. Though the Persian government allowed the walls to be rebuilt, the culture and community stayed the same. But the one thing the Persian government failed to realize is that whenever you allow strong families to begin to rebuild a community and some even re-inhabit it, something had to change. Not only would the families rebuild the walls, but they would begin to rebuild the community and their culture too. Whenever you have strong families, communities and governments have to change. Whenever you have strong families, you have strong community clubs like Rotary, the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts. Whenever you have strong families, you have a better school system. Whenever you have strong families, you have a people infra-structure which is empowered to make a difference and to make a change. It’s a family affair.
Fifth, families take risks for the sake of the kingdom and the city. The people heard the call of God and were committed to rebuilding the city and it was no easy task. Many of these families had left the city generations ago. So to come work on the walls, they had to travel into the city to work on the wall. God uses families who have a mission mindset who are willing to take risks. Without stepping out in faith and taking risks, it is impossible to please God. You see not only were these families willing to risk their livelihoods but they were at risk each time they made the journey to Jerusalem to begin working on the wall. One was never safe traveling during those days where thiefs and thugs always laid in wait. But more than that, there was a mounting cloud of opposition which hung over the work as Sanballat who was the governor of Samaria, Tobiah who was the governor of Ammon to the East, and Geshem who was an Arab controlling the lucrative trade routes surrounding Jerusalem. Together, they had the financial resources and military to stop the rebuilding and they would have done anything to do that, even harming the people helping rebuild.
Some people even chose to move back into the city amidst its destruction and vulnerable defenses. Many thought they were crazy leaving their comfortable homes and neighborhoods. These families were willing to risk it all. Sometimes you have to be willing to risk it all for the sake of the welfare of the city. God wants to use families right here living in New Orleans and Jefferson Parish. God wants us to be risk takers. Without taking risks, you cannot see and experience the full power of God working in your family. God needs families to take a risk, to step out of the comfort zone and to make a difference so that everybody would experience hope and shalom. Shalom means peace, peace with God and peace with others. God wants everyone of His children to have shalom, peace and wellbeing and wholeness for the betterment of life. God wants to use families to step out and take a risk to live in the city and offer shalom to other people. That’s why they were rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, to provide a place of safety and comfort for all those living in the city and the surrounding area.
But until we get out of our comfortable bubble and step out and take a risk, everybody will not experience shalom and the kingdom of God will not be reflected in our city. We have to step out in faith. Without risk taking, God can’t fully use you for God’s greater purpose. It’s realizing life is not just about you but rather life is about extending shalom to others. These families didn’t come back to complain or just do their part, they came back to do whatever was needed of them. They worked to rebuild the walls and uprooted themselves and their family to contribute to living in the city and building up its social, economic, religious and educational life. They went over and beyond their responsibility. Is life just about rebuilding your house, repairing your roof and replacing your lawn and landscaping and no more? Or are you going above and beyond to help restore the brokenness of your neighbor, your city, its economy, schools, businesses and churches?
How is God calling your family to join in on the rebuilding process? How is your family called to reach out and give hope to the families around you? Whether you are broken and still rebuilding or you’re done rebuilding your home and now are focusing on rebuilding your life, God can still use you in your brokeness. The main thing is to get out of isolation. You can’t do it on your own. Consider this: God has you right where he needs to be. You can have a kingdom impact right where you are. There is a radical move of God going on all around us and the only question is this: as for you and your house, will you serve the Lord and join God and others in providing help, hope and shalom. Because it’s a family affair in Jesus’ name.
Wade Martin Hughes tells about growing up. Our entertainment was to get the fiddles, mandolins, guitars, saxophone, clarinet, and bass fiddle and as the sun went down, we gathered on the front porch and the neighbors gathered around. And we would play and sing music until way up in the night. We might take a break and chase lightning bugs. There was a bucket of cool water and a metal dipper, everyone would just take a drink. We would not use the porch light as it gathered bugs, and when the music really got going tears might flow, so it was better to be in the dark. Every now and then, the music would stop, and someone would tell a story and we would all laugh. Sometimes, a jar of dill pickles would come out and we would suck on the pickle. Chewing gum was a treat. If someone was sick in the community we would carry our music to their house, and sing for them.
Old people liked different songs than us. They loved to sing, “I have heard of a land on that far away strand, tis a beautiful home of the soul; built by Jesus on high, where we never shall die... Never grow old, never grow old ...” Us kids always wondered, what is so bad about getting old? The singers would always separate by parts. Every now and then we would just stop the music and everyone would sing a capella. The time on the porch was a touch of heaven coming down. That heritage of music and singing still rides along with us. Recently while I was in Haiti, I pulled out the guitar and sang, IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE,. The Haitians sang in Creole along with me. They never understood that was the first song I learned to play, and I did this planned, I did this to remember from where I have come.
Well, today, I am gray, my steps a little slow. Today I understand the old peoples’ songs, today I get so home sick. I don’t have a home to go to any more, Mom has been gone for years. I don’t get to see my Dad and family much any more. But my mind still goes back to the porch and the heritage and love of Christ passed on to me. Tomorrow, I shall stand between my two sons, and my two grandsons and play and sing music at church, but it all comes from a porch and family and friends singing together.
