Meaningful Relationships
Acts 2:44-47
CHCC: February 1, 2009
INTRODUCTION:
Today is the 5th week in our series that’s called “I’m In!” So far Ronnie has talked about worshipping together, and studying God’s word in community. Then I spoke about finding a place to serve and giving generously. Today is about the importance of building relationships in the church. And next week will be about sharing our faith.
The 7th week will be a special Sunday that we’re calling “Count Me In!” Sunday. On that day Ronnie and I are going to tag-team it for the message … and then it’s YOUR turn! We’ll give all of you a chance to respond at the end of the service. I think it will be a great day for our church.
I recently read some interesting statistics that show how IMPORTANT relationships are in our lives. The American Institute of Stress conducted research on 232 patients who had undergone cardiac surgery. Of those patients, 21 died within six months.
Here are 2 of the significant mortality predictors that they listed: “a lack of participation in social or community groups” and “the absence of strength and comfort from religion.”
Author Randy Frazee cites this report as indicating that social activity can predict cardiac mortality as strongly as elevated cholesterol levels. He said the studies show that social isolation contributes to illness and death as much as smoking. Then he gave this humorous advice: “So if you feel you must smoke, for goodness sake, don’t do it alone!” (Making Room for Life, by Randy Frazee)
Obviously relationships are important. But having MEANINGFUL relationships in our culture seems to be getting harder and harder to do. Families don’t live near each other. We move around so much that it’s rare to have life-long friendships. It’s common for people to have their closest relationships over the Internet or on the phone … with people they hardly ever see in person!
1. What creates Meaningful Relationships in the church?
During all of my life, my church relationships have been the most meaningful friendships I’ve had. These are people that I can actually see IN PERSON at least once a week. Because of the church, I can watch the children of members grow up and live life alongside people through the good times and the bad.
Acts 2:44-47 describes the first church as that kind of place … a place where people could and DID build Meaningful Relationships: All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Notice, they met together in the temple courts—so there was one big assembly for 3000+ in the beginning. But they also met in individual homes, they ate together, they opened their hearts to each other, they praised God together, they shared with those who were in need and prayed for those who were in trouble.
In a book called The Connecting Church, Randy Frazee breaks down the church into three groups: (1) In the big group there is inspiration (that’s the worship service). (2) In the medium size group (like our Sunday classes) there is information—in-depth instruction taking place there. (3) In the smaller group (like our Pueblo groups) there is fellowship and intimate caring. We want everyone who comes into our church to move to some level of involvement with other believers, to move from casual toward meaningful relationships.
When you join with us here at CHCC, we want church to be much MORE than a 1-hour event once a week. We want this to become your FAMILY … your “home away from home.” We want you to develop a circle of friends where you can be cared for … and where you can help care for others. We want this to be a place where you can let down your guard and be REAL.
That’s one of my favorite things about our folks here. Our folks don’t tend to “put on airs” or pretend to be something they’re not. We have a lot of people here who simply want to Follow Jesus in every way they can. They don’t claim to be perfect, and they don’t expect YOU to be perfect either!
Another thing I enjoy about our church is that we’re a nice size. (Don’t get me wrong, I want to grow bigger! Right now CHCC is big enough to be able to offer a variety of ministries … but we’re small enough that no one needs to get lost in the crowd. I think that’s especially valuable when you live in a big CITY like San Antonio. It’s nice when your church has a small-town feeling.
But no matter what the size of the church you attend, you can only have a limited number of people you know --- even casually. You can have an even smaller number of close relationships – for example with people you go out to eat with or visit with occasionally. And you can have only a very few really intimate friends. These are the people who know the REAL you … and who love you anyway.
We’re not suggesting you develop dozens of intimate friends. Jesus only had three disciples that He took into His inner circle. There were twelve who were very close and one hundred and twenty who were loyal to Him to the end. Not everyone is intended to be an intimate friend.
What we ARE encouraging is that --- as a member of the church --- you make an effort to develop some close Christian friends … friends that you can interact with IN PERSON week after week. The sad truth is that far too many people have no meaningful relationships in their church at all. Only a handful of people even know your name. And you know the names of hardly anyone. Church was never meant to be a place where we come to be part of a nameless audience.
Years back, a minister friend of mine made this comment in a Preacher’s Meeting. He said, “I’m sure you all know by now that none of us can afford the luxury of having friends in the church’s we serve. We must remain aloof in order to protect ourselves from all kinds of entanglements and dangers.”
I can understand the problems he was talking about. There’s always the danger of forming exclusive cliques. (But that’s a danger we all need to be careful about --- not just the minister.) Sometimes in a church people can resent their Pastor having an especially close relationship with certain people. Maybe they feel like he’s “playing favorites.” But I don’t share that view. In fact, I think there’s a much greater danger when a Minister doesn’t have meaningful relationships in the church. Your ministers need friends in the congregation as much as anyone else … maybe more!
2. Why are Meaningful Relationships so important in the Church?
Meaningful relationships are important for our physical health and well-being, and in the same way Meaningful Relationships within the Church are essential for our SPIRITUAL health and well-being. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another Church is meant to be the place where we “sharpen” each other. Only your Christian friends can encourage you to grow more and more like our Savior, Jesus Christ.
* For one thing, Christian friends will be the ones who pray for you
Other friends may sympathize with you, but it’s your Christian friends who will PRAY for you when you have troubles … or when you are struggling with difficult situations. James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
Almost any time you get together with friends from Church – whether it’s a Sunday class or a Pueblo group or a Deacon’s meeting or a meal in a home – you’re usually going to take time to Pray together. Don’t ever underestimate the changes that come in your life because people in your church are praying for you!
We have a prayer chain here at CHCC where people take the time to lift up needs of anyone who wants to share their hurts and concerns. There are several who are involved in this ministry, but one of the main leaders of this ministry is Frankie Turner. Through e-mail, she is faithful to pass information on as it reaches her. I hear from her almost daily, and I appreciate her faithful attention to intercessory prayer.
* Christian friends will hold you accountable
Christian friends are the ones who will pray for you AND they are the ones who can hold you accountable. Other friends may not hold the same standards that you have. It’s your church friends who can hold you accountable when your language starts slipping, or your attitude gets sour, or your marriage is endangered, or you start compromising your values.
Galatians 6:1 reminds us, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.” Worldly friends won’t do that. Most casual Christian friends won’t do that. But close Christian friends will muster up the courage to confront you when you’re wrong.
And there’s another value to taking the time to develop close friendships within the church. Jesus Christ will be honored:
* Christian friendship gives honor to Jesus Christ
In John 13:35, Jesus said, "All men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” The world isn’t that impressed with strict doctrines or impressive buildings. But they will always be drawn to Jesus when they observe Christian people who love one another and care for one another.
The reason that kind of love is so impressive is because it is so RARE. It’s the way we love one another that makes the Church a unique place in the world. Church should be the ONE place where EVERYONE feels accepted. We want church to be so attractive, so contagious, so loving, so fun that the world is drawn to its fellowship.
Frances Schaeffer wrote, “Our relationship with each other is the criterion the world uses to judge whether our message is truthful—Christian community is the final apologetic.” That alone is a big enough motivation to take the time and trouble to build meaningful relationships within your Church Family.
Hebrews 10:25 reads, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Building meaningful relationships in the church is not easy. In fact, what’s EASY is to fall into the habit of NOT meeting together…. So how can you build HABITS that will give you Meaningful Relationships here at CHCC?
3. How can I have Meaningful Relationships here at CHCC?
I’m going to give you a list of actions you could take that will help you build meaningful relationships with folks here at CHCC. As you listen to the ideas, see if the Holy Spirit gives you a “nudge” on one or two of them. Or maybe God will give you an idea I haven’t thought about. Whatever God is saying to you today, don’t resist Him. Just determine to DO whatever God’s Spirit is urging you to do.
Here are some ways that you can begin to build meaningful relationships:
* Attend a Pueblo Group (Bible Study) near where you live. Try it for a few weeks and see if you don’t get to know some people. Information is available in the foyer with phone numbers so you can call the person who hosts the group if you need directions.
* Come to a men’s meeting or women’s meeting (depending on whether you yourself are a man or woman.) Our web site, news letter, or bulletin, will let you know what is coming up soon.
* Attend a Sunday Morning Bible Class … and put on a name tag. Get a doughnut (if you can afford the calories) and introduce yourself to the host. Be approachable. Smile and be friendly. When the class has a get-together, show up and make the effort to enter the conversation.
* Speak up when someone asks for prayer requests … and say, “Pray for me too. I’m facing a test tomorrow and I’m a little nervous.” When you are just a little humble or transparent people start to move closer.
* Enroll your children in AWANA or bring your kids to Youth Events. Stick around to help out and get to know the other adults who teach and sponsor our young people.
* Stick around after church. Instead of racing for your car to see if you can beat the Baptists to lunch --- hang around for 10-15 minutes. Strike up a conversation with someone and take time to just visit a while.
* Invite folks to eat with you after church. “We always go to the buffet after church. Would you like to go with us?” The Bible commands us to practice hospitality. Find ways to do it!
* Visit with someone who is sick or shut in and tell them you’re praying for them. Visit them more than once.
* Volunteer to help with one of the many ministries here at CHCC. One of the best ways to get close to others is to serve the Lord together.
CONCLUSION:
Of course, we always need to remember that the closest friend you will ever have is Jesus Christ. Earthly friends may disappoint us. But Jesus is a friend who will NEVER let us down. Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you.
Jesus sacrificed His life to save you. Remember that on that final night, Jesus He took his friends with Him into the Garden. He took His three closest friends into the innermost part and encouraged them to PRAY.
If Jesus needed close friends near to him … so do we.
