Enemies
Mark 1:9-13; Psalm 25:1-10
The Reverend Anne Benefield
Geneva Presbyterian Church, March 1, 2009
Introduction: Today’s scripture lesson is one of David’s psalms. In it he pleads for help from God against his enemies. Listen to how he describes the forces against him.
Psalm 25:1-10
To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul,
O God, in You I trust;
do not let me be put to shame;
do not let my enemies exult over me.
Do not let those who wait for You be put to
shame;
let them be ashamed who are wantonly
treacherous.
Make me to know Your ways, O Lord;
teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth, and teach me,
for You are the God of my salvation;
for You I wait all day long.
Be mindful of Your mercy, O Lord, and of
Your steadfast love,
for they have been from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth or
my transgressions;
according to Your steadfast love
remember me,
for Your goodness’ sake, O Lord!
Prayer: O Lord, for Your goodness’ sake, may we come to know how to face our enemies both without and within us. Amen.
I prefer to think about enemies far away. It’s much easier to deal with hating people who are overseas and strangers, but it’s not the far away person who causes us most problems. It’s the person we know and “hate” that makes us miserable. It’s often the person working at the next desk or in the next office that gets to us.
Several workplace-related studies in 2008 suggest that the majority of working Americans aren’t all that fond of whom they work with.
• When asked if a colleague has ever tried to make them look bad, 50 percent of respondents said yes; 48 percent said no; 2 percent said they didn’t know.
• When asked to identify which causes more stress at work—co-workers or workload—51 percent of respondents said co-workers, while 49 percent said workload.
• When asked if they work with one or more annoying co-workers, 86 percent of respondents said yes, while 13 percent said no. (Numbers do not add up to 100 due to rounding by researches.)
[Brian Lowery, managing editor, PreachingToday.com; sources: Jae Yang and Adrienne Lewis, “USA Today Snapshots: Friend or Foe?” USA Today; Michelle Healy and Sam Ward, “USA Today Snapshots: Workplace Worries,” USA Today: Jae Yang and Adrienne Lewis, “USA Today Snapshots: Do you work with one or more annoying co-workers?” USA Today.
Here’s an interesting thing: What often irritates us in someone else is what we do ourselves.
You know that I am very close to my younger sister Jean, who is also a pastor. Years ago, I noticed that when we were on the phone, she would sometimes “checkout” of the conversation. I would know immediately when this happened. Because it upset me, I talked to my husband, John, who very gently told me that I do the same thing. He said once that happened it was no use saying something important. I was gone, even though I was still at the other end of the line—I just wasn’t listening any more. Imagine how embarrassed I was! I’ve tried so hard not to do it, but I know that there are times when I do. And I hate it that I do that!
So as we talk about enemies, people we “hate,” take an inventory of what gets on your nerves, and then take another inventory. Take an honest inventory of yourself. If you are anything like me, you will discover there is a connection on at least one trait.
In your bulletin, I have inserted a little sheet. On the left margin, you will see the title “Enemy Traits;” on the right side you will see the words “Prayers needed.” I’d invite you list either the name of the person you dislike or the traits you dislike. Then later today, I’d invite you to pray for that person and/or their traits. Now, please don’t pray that they change. You and I are the ones who have the trouble with them. Pray for good for them. And pray to understand them because as you come to understand them, you will come to understand yourself better.
There is no more powerful example of hating someone for what we are guilty of doing ourselves than the story of David and Bathsheba. David sees Bathsheba and decides he must have her. She is a married woman, the wife of Uriah. David has many wives. To cover his sinful relationship with Bathsheba, he sends Uriah into a trap to die in battle.
Sometime later, Nathan comes to tell David the story of a poor farmer who owns only one lamb while his wealthy neighbor owns a large herd, but when a visitor comes to the wealthy man, he steals the lamb of his poor neighbor and serves it to his guest.
David said that the wealthy farmer must be punished for what he has done. Nathan points to David, “You are the man.”
We’re not all that different from David. We dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves.
Sometimes the person we find ourselves disliking isn’t a co-worker or neighbor, it is a loved one. The person we love can irritate or hurt us more than anyone else.
I’m not a psychologist, but I think that at least part of the problem is that we can’t control them. We’d like them to behave in certain ways, but they don’t and we can’t make them. In this case, we make our “enemy” the pattern or personality trait we can’t control.
Let me explain in my own simple words how this happens. When we first meet a person to whom we are attracted there is much we don’t know about them. What we don’t know, we fill in with positives that we would like to be true of them. But then after we have committed ourselves, it turns out that we were wrong when we filled in the blanks with our expectations and dreams, but it’s not their fault.
There are a certain things that married couples, parents, and children fight about a lot. They include money, in-laws, time, and goals. On the insert, I invite you to fill in the areas in which you fight with your loved ones. Do your best to truly understand what causes you to be angry. Now when you pray, do not pray that the person you love will change. Pray that you will come to understand the trait more fully accepting that you can’t change it, but you can find peace with it.
There’s an old story about a bride who was terribly nervous before the wedding ceremony. Her mother couldn’t get her to calm down. Her bridesmaids could sooth her. Finally, the pastor came back to talk to her. He explained that all she had to do was take this one step at a time. First, she should concentrate on walking down the aisle. As she walking when she is ready to look up, she should concentrate on the altar. When she reaches the altar she should turn to her fiancée. In no time the ceremony will be finished. Taking the words of the pastor seriously, she walked down the aisle saying, “Aisle altar him…aisle altar him…aisle altar him!”
There’s one more area in which we have enemies. These are by far the most important and devastating enemies. These are the enemies within us. As you work on your insert, you will already have begun to see your enemies within. Many of them are the traits you dislike in friends and co-workers that reflect your own traits. Another group of traits that you dislike in your loved ones are the traits which you can’t control in yourself.
What are the traits within us that have become our enemies—the traits that keep us from being the person God wants us to be? What are the traits that sabotage us? We all have traits that we know are not good, but we rationalize about them. We defend ourselves even from the part of ourselves that see the problem. Let me list a few traits that you might recognize in me or yourself: impatience, irritability, selfishness. There are always the seven deadly sins that are helpful when identifying our problematic traits: lust, gluttony, lust, greed, envy, pride and wrath.
Once you have identified the traits that keep you from being all that God created you to be, it is time to pray. At this point, I think we can call these traits sin. (Please don’t label these traits as sin when you are looking at your co-workers and loved one! That will not help anyone. It reminds of me The Screwtape Letters where the Screwtape a senior devil is coaching his nephew Wormwood as he tries to bring a man to his doom. On of the best tactics is to make the man smug and judgmental, noting all the shortcomings of others, especially in the church.)
When you are praying about your own sins, do ask the Lord to help you to recognize the sins in yourself, not just in others. Ask the Lord for recognize how your sin is affecting your loved ones. And ask the Lord to help you overcome the sin. It will take hard work, but in this work you will experience God’s loving grace or as David says God’s steadfast love. Amen.
