FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: Physical Touch
VARIOUS GOSPEL PASSAGES
INTRODUCTION… “Cooties” BlueFishTV.com
I want you to know that we will be talking about the last of the five love languages today and the last love language for us to ‘touch on’ is physical touch. Everything we will talk about today will get you cooties in one way or another! I start out with a little bit of humor because when we talk about physical touch, 75% of us probably jump to the definition of physical touch as a sexual act or sexual pleasure. Sex and sexual touching is certainly part of this love language, but we have to remember that physical touch is an entire language and is much more than just sexual touch. Fellas, you will just have to trust me on that. This sermon is much more than a sermon about sex. Sexual touch is just one dialect of an entire love language that has great power to communicate love and belonging. I hope today that we can apply this love language in our marriages, with our children and grand children, and with friends. Again, different dialects of this love language will apply in different types of relationships.
I also begin with a little bit of humor because I also understand that some of you may have been harmed in the past or even right now, by physical touch, and so a sermon like this can be a little uncomfortable or uneasy. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. You may not want to hear this, but God created physical touch to be a loving way to communicate to another person. Physical touch is one way that people can give and receive and communicate love.
Physical touch includes:
* the loving power of a hug * the loving power of a kiss * the loving power of sex
* the loving power of a handshake * the loving power of a hand on a shoulder or back
* the loving power of a hand on a cheek
So let’s get into the language of physical touch and so how it “translates” for us.
I. THE LANGUAGE OF PHYSICAL TOUCH
I want us to take a moment and look at Jesus’ life and how He used the language of physical touch. We have seen in the past four weeks that Jesus Christ speaks all five of the love languages perfectly… and physical touch is no different. Jesus was not a man who went through His life or His ministry physically isolated from those around Him. Jesus touched those He came in contact with. He showed His compassion to those around Him by physical touch. Let’s review some Gospel passages and see what those passages show us about Jesus and physical touch. To be honest, there were so many passages; I had to pare down those that we look at. Jesus communicated love by touch all the time.
Matthew 8:1-3 “When he came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2 A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." 3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.”
We should note when we read this passage that leprosy is a contagious skin disease. Those with leprosy were on the outside of social life in Jesus’ day. No one could touch them and they were cast out of normal life. No one did touch a leper, ever. When approached by someone not infected, the leper had to yell “unclean!” so that there would be no physical contact. I can imagine if one had leprosy that you would wish for the days when you could hug someone or kiss someone or have contact!
ILLUSTRATION… Ben Hur (p)
When ever I think of leprosy, I think of the 1959 movie Ben Hur. The character played by Ben Hur returns home after many years and eventually finds that his mother and sister contracted leprosy while in prison and now live a leper colony away from everyone else. They ask that he never be told that they are alive. They ask that he only remember them as their former selves. Ben Hur’s mother and sister were to be exiled from all contact with people, but as the story unfolds and concludes, they are healed by Jesus Christ. This movie illustrates the seriousness of leprosy in Jesus’ day and the horrible consequences.
In his book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman states that not touching someone:
* as children, can impede their emotional development (pg 103)
* makes them feel unloved (pg 104)
* makes someone feel insecure about the marriage relationship (pg 105)
* indicates something is wrong in the relationship (pg 107)
* empties their emotional love tank (pg 109)
I can imagine that the leper that Jesus meets in Matthew 8 felt unloved and was desperate to be healed so he could go home again. I want you to see that when the man with leprosy approached Him, He not only healed the man, but He touched Him! Jesus was exposing Himself to possible disease. Jesus could have spoken the man clean. Jesus could have told him to go wash in the Jordan seven times. Jesus could have waved a hand and the man would have been clean… but the Scriptures tell us specifically Jesus TOUCHED the man and he was healed. There was great power in that touch. There was great care in that touch. There was great love in that touch.
Mark 7:32-35 “There some people brought to him a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged him to place his hand on the man. 33 After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Jesus put his fingers into the man’s ears. Then he spit and touched the man’s tongue. 34 He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!"). 35 At this, the man’s ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly.”
The Gospel of Mark shares a wonderful story of the healing of a man who was deaf and mute. I want you to notice that in verse 32 the people brought this man to Jesus and begged Jesus to TOUCH him. There is great power in a touch. This passage brings up something a little uncomfortable for me. I must confess a little that a small feeling of apprehension may rise up in me if I have to touch someone with a disability. How do you shake someone’s hand that has cerebral palsy? How do you hug someone who is blind? How do you shake the hand of someone who has lost a limb? I know that it is silly, but I am not sure how to physically touch them. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable… when in reality they are fine… it is me with the problem! I think I may have been uncomfortable when standing there with Jesus.
ILLUSTRATION… Hellen Keller (p)
Whenever I read this passage, I cannot help but think of another movie! I think of the 1962 (and in 1979) movie about Hellen Keller called “The Miracle Worker.” Hellen Keller was deaf and blind and could not communicate. Her teacher, Anne Sullivan arrived at Keller’s house in March 1887, and immediately began to teach Helen to communicate by spelling words into her hand, beginning with d-o-l-l for the doll that she had brought Keller as a present. Keller’s big breakthrough in communication came in April the same year, when she realized that the motions her teacher was making on the palm of her hand, while running cool water over her other hand, symbolized the idea of "water"; she then nearly exhausted Sullivan demanding the names of all the other familiar objects in her world. Sullivan taught her student to speak using the Tadoma method of touching the lips and throat of others as they speak, combined with finger-spelling letters on the palm of the child’s hand. I want you to note that physical touch was essential.
Mark tells us that when inside, Jesus had no boundaries or issues with touching the man. Jesus did touch the man’s ears and his tongue and the man was healed! Now, if you want to talk about “cooties,” this is the passage to look at! Jesus touched the man’s ears and He touched the man’s tongue. I am pretty sure I have never touched another man’s tongue in my whole life! Jesus did and the man’s ears and tongue were healed and opened. There was great power in that touch. There was great healing in that touch. There was great love in that touch.
Luke 7:37-39 “When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38 and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. 39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is-- that she is a sinner.”
Right away you will notice that this passage is a little different from the other two. In this passage, Jesus is not the one initiating the physical touch, but is the recipient. In Luke 7, we find Jesus eating at the home of a Pharisee. We see later in this passage that the Pharisee did not extend to Jesus even the basic courtesies because Jesus says in verse 44, “I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.” The Pharisee did not show respect to Jesus in any way. Yet, this woman who was certainly well known in the town for her sin, blessed Jesus with physical touch. It is very interesting and ironic that the Pharisee says to himself that IF Jesus were a prophet, He would know who was touching Him. What is ironic is that He DID know and He allowed her to touch Him! What is ironic is that He is eating in the house of someone who really could care less, but this woman does what the Pharisee should have done.
Jesus allowed the woman to touch Him. Jesus allowed the interaction between the Pharisee and Himself to play out so that in the end, He could teach about forgiveness. The woman blessed Jesus because of her willingness to touch Him. Jesus graciously accepted her offering and told her “Your faith has saved you; go in peace” (verse 50). There was great power in that touch. There was great forgiveness in that touch. There was great love in that touch.
II. COMMUNICATING THROUGH THE LANGUAGE OF PHYSICAL TOUCH
So, what do we see from these three passages about Jesus and physical touch? As we look at it, Jesus communicates much when it comes to physical touch. This was just one way among many to let those around Him know His heart. Jesus certainly loved by spending quality time with others. Jesus gave words of affirmation to those who needed it and He Himself was the ultimate gift. Jesus served others and showed His love in that way as well. We cannot lose sight that Jesus also communicates and loves those around Him with physical touch. There were those around Him who needed to hear His message in this way… because there are people who are wired that way… to receive communication about love best by physical touch.
Jesus communicates care and compassion to the leper in Matthew 8 by touching him. Jesus did not have to touch him, but He does. Other Scriptures tell us that Jesus’ heart was filled with compassion for people because they were “harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36) and He showed it with a touch.
Jesus communicates the desire to heal when He touches the man who is deaf and mute in Mark 7. Again, Jesus could have healed the man in a hundred different ways, but He chooses to heal and love by touching. Even when Jesus was teaching His disciples to minister in Matthew 10, Jesus tells them, “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8).
Jesus communicates forgiveness through allowing the woman to touch Him and anoint His feet. Jesus allows this woman to express her faith and her desire for forgiveness and He forgives her. Jesus said with His words that He came “to seek and save the lost” (Luke 19:10) and He proved it with a touch.
There are so many different things that can be communicated through physical touch. The language of physical touch is unique because so much can be communicated and understood by a simple touch. You may have a spouse or friend or child that communicates best with physical touch.
A touch certainly communicates the emotion of love.
A certain touch can communicate lustful desire and physical attraction.
A touch communicates value.
A touch communicates acceptance.
A touch communicates security and assurance.
A touch can communicate an apology.
A touch can communicate compassion or sorrow for another.
A touch can give respect.
A touch can say many words of ‘thank you’ when words are not needed.
APPLICATION … Who do you need to speak this language to?
(1) Your Spouse: they need to feel secure in the relationship, wanted, desired, physically satisfied
1 Corinthians 7:4-5 “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
(2) Your Child or Grand Child
Mark 10:13-16 “People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." 16 And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.”
(3) Your Parent
1 Timothy 5:4 “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”
(4) A Co-Worker or Friend
CONLCUSION
