Marriage and Sex
1Cor 7:1-9
Today I want to talk a little about Sex and Marriage and the importance of them being together hand in hand and not one without the other. The purpose of this is to keep you away from immoral thoughts and actions. I did say thoughts too and for good reason. Let’s start with the reading from the good book itself.
1Cor – 7:1-9 – Now concerning the things of which you wrote me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her won husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows; it is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self control, let them marry, for it is better to marry then to burn with passion.
Yes sexual immorality is out there even when we want to think it is not. It shows its ugly head in many different ways. One of which is through thought. We see someone that we think is so hot that we have to have them then our minds go in many different directions. This is due to Satan using his powers of persuasion over us. The more we give into it the worse it gets. But here is where we are fooled because each time we give in it easier and easier for us to fall into Satan’s traps. When he has us in his lasso there he can ring us in with other bad and evil thoughts. When this happens thoughts that we think are harmless can turn into actions that we don’t need to be involved in. How scary do you think that is? To me it is very scary that our minds can be so easily controlled. This is where I wish that the good Lord himself didn’t give us freewill. Freewill can get us into loads of trouble if not used properly.
Let me clarify something. I am not saying that you as a male should not desire a female. Heck that is where love comes into play. We need to know the difference between an infatuation and love. The innocent standard crush or infatuation is harmless and could or should I say can lead to love and desire for the ONE woman you want to spend your life with. But when you reach that stage you need to know what other signs to look for and make sure they are the right signs from above. You are to love and desire everything about your mate. This includes the tolerating of the things you don’t like about them. These things can be worked on. I am not saying a total personality makeover but this is where patients come into play. That is something I will discuss later on.
When you have fallen in love with your mate or as God’s love with your mate that is the perfect love you can have for each other is through God’s eyes. We need to remember God created woman out of man and that right there should tell you man and woman are meant to be together. It is a perfect match in one way or another. When marriage comes into play it is that (spiritual) contract or the joining of the two with God as the witness. But in marriage He not only is a witness He is someone who we also make the bond with.
I use the term bond because when you bond with someone you become one. That is where the sacrifice comes into play. In verses 3 and 4 come into play. We there turn ourselves over to each other. If you think about it that is where the sex comes into play. It should not be work it should be special. He wants us to be happy and experience pleasures. But within reason and within what He says is good. Again here is the catch it is to be with one man and one woman. NOT A HIEREM. Those days are long and over. The time is of the New Testament and under Jesus’ rule.
Now we as humans’ things will happen. And God knew this and still does know this. That is why prayer and fasting is needed in every marriage. It goes along the saying ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder.’ What do I mean when I say this? Well to me it’s simple. We need to rekindle the spark and keep the fire burning in the marriage. But how you may ask. Well, it’s like this. There is a time in a marriage that we need to go back to basics. Such as a date with your spouse but not as husband a wife. But as two new people looking at each other as they did when they first started. Courting should never end. It should be a surprise of something.
This leads me into sex. Yes I know I know peaked someone’s interest with the term SEX. Don’t be bashful because a minister has brought up the subject. Sex is a wonderful thing. In Genesis God wants us to desire our mates. It is even spoken of many times in the New Testament. There is no specific reference on how sex should be done except with a man and woman who are joined in holy covenant with themselves and God. Go and experiment with things that are good. I don’t mean go to your nearest Adult Video store and rent Debbie does Dallas or something. There are things out there that can shall I say spice things up. Make things better and assist in the desire for your mate. Again trying not to offend anyone and have people think that I am a pervert or something. The purpose of sex is not for just increasing the population of earth but to be pleased with each other and to love each other on not just a physical level but also a spiritual level.
Ok enough about sex well maybe not. In verse 5 it states ‘Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time…’ That right there is a very important verse along. We shouldn’t always say no to our mates. If it is said too much that will lead to problems in the marriage. It is human nature to not only know spiritually and via words that we love each other but we need to feel it too. When we are missing that part it is a doorway for Satan to walk right in and play the tempting game. That is where he will start to increase desires for the wrong things. He is sneaky when he plays that game. It can start out small where you find a new “friend” at work (example only) and you notice something that may want you to want more. Or little fights begin with-in the homes that are really stupid. Then eventually will lead to infidelity both in the physical and mental aspect. Remember it is sin to desire another above your mate. It is a commandment of God’s and it covers both thinking and doing.
If you feel such urges that is where prayer, scripture, and fasting come into play. I know myself I pray to God through Jesus that my love for my mate will never die and I pray that each day I fall for her more and more and deeper and deeper as each day passes. The fasting comes into play where you give up a bit of lovemaking for a while and pray and keep in the Word then when you and your mate join again it will be as wonderful as the first time.
Desire as an unmarried person is fine but it must be controlled until you have found your life mate. Sowing your royal oats is not a good thing at all. Doing such things takes the fun and excitement away from the way sex is supposed to feel with your mate. People need to remember these things for Satan will surely have control over them. That is what we don’t want to have happen. Now saying this I don’t mean to discourage dating. Dating is a good and natural thing. But jumping into the sack isn’t. If you both are feeling the same love and desire for each other only that is where the bond of marriage comes into play. Having that bond with each other and with God makes things so much more pleasurable and right with God. Don’t destroy ones innocence with an unclean desire to be with them then move on. That is a great one way ticket in the wrong direction.
Jesus loves us so we should love each other the same way. Love each other through God’s eyes and you will see things in each other for a very long time. Keeping God first in a relationship and marriage will help keep the marriage alive both with each other and with God.
For those who wish to pray this prayer with me I so invite:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I want to thank you for closing the gap between your love for us and our love for you through Christ Jesus. For your Son is the only way for us to be with you and experience your unconditional love for us. I pray that you show me how to love my mate and honor my mate daily as you have loved us. I Lord do love him/her with all my heart and soul but only with Your help I can love her with Your love and Holy Spirit. My mate with Your help, Spirit, and guidance will be second only to You and no other desire shall replace her/him in my mind, body, and soul. Thank you Lord and bless me with Your Spirit.
Amen.
Be blessed with Christ’s love always in Jesus’ name.
