GOD’S DESIGN FOR LOVE, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS
(February 2009 – Beausejour Church – Pastor Chris Jordan)
TRUE LOVE WAITS: Tonight – abstinence youth rally.
THE BIG IDEA: God created us to be loving, relational, sexual beings, and when we follow God’s design and purpose for these things, we will experience satisfaction, fulfillment and pleasure.
OPENING TEXT:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11).
• God is good, He loves us, and He has good thoughts and plans for us.
• The Bible is the blueprint – God’s DESIGN for our lives, in His infinite wisdom.
• Design defined = to plan and fashion artistically or skillfully; to intend for a definite purpose.
LET’S THINK ABOUT SEX THE WAY GOD THINKS ABOUT SEX.
• All ages need to know this – single or married, young or old.
• This may seem unusual to you, that God thinks about sex.
• God thought about it, He created it, and He has a way for it to work.
• God said, “It was VERY good.” It shouldn’t be awkward for us to talk about it.
1. GOD IS PRO-SEX:
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:27-28).
• The two most important truths we learn from God’s Word: God created us, and loves us.
• When God created Adam and Eve, He commanded them to have sex with each other.
• God designed us to be sexual creatures. He expects sex to be a delightful experience.
o Prov. 5:18-19 – God encourages men to enjoy and be satisfied by their wives
o Song of Solomon –a woman looking forward to having sex with her husband
o 1 Cor. 7 – husbands and wives are told to enjoy each other’s bodies
• Satan has come and stolen what God created and sex is seen as something dirty or shameful that you’re not supposed to talk about.
• God wants us to know about this wonderful gift, and not learn about it from TV, the streets, at some sleepover, or in a junior high health class.
2. GOD DESIGNED SEX FOR A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:24-25).
• God’s design is one man and one woman in a committed life-long marriage relationship.
• What would happen in our world if everyone began following God’s design?
o No more prostitution, sex slave trafficking, adultery, rape, abuse, teen pregnancy, pornography, guilt, shame, fear and pain. Wouldn’t our world be better?
3. PRE-MARITAL SEX IS WRONG:
“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (1 Cor. 6:15-19).
• Sex is not just a physical act, but there is a spiritual union – a soul tie – that takes place.
• Sex before marriage is wrong because it violates the law of love.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love is patient.” True love waits!
• There is NO safe sex outside of marriage! Sure, maybe you can keep from getting pregnant, getting a STI, or getting caught. But you can’t protect your heart.
• Tonight at True Love Waits, our teen abstinence rally, we’re going to talk more about the benefits of waiting until marriage: “Why wait?”
UMBRELLA ILLUSTRATION: God’s commandments are for our protection.
“And now, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart… and to keep the commandments of the Lord… which I command you today for your good?” (Deut. 10:12-13).
• Why did God give us His commandments? For our own good and protection!
• When you follow God’s design, you are under His umbrella of protection.
“Can a man scoop fire into his lap and not be burned? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished.” (Prov. 6:27,29).
• We need to recognize that there are consequences for sin!
• When we don’t follow God’s design, we ‘get wet’ (not under umbrella any more).
4. WHY DID GOD CREATE SEX?
a. TO PRODUCE LIFE:
“Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28).
• God commands us to have babies, populate the earth. This is ONE of the purposes.
b. TO PROVIDE PLEASURE:
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth… Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19).
• If you’re married, I encourage you to read the Song of Solomon – which describes an intimate sexual relationship between a husband and a wife. (Too steamy to read this am!)
• The point is – sex isn’t just for making babies, its for having fun, too! (in marriage only)
c. TO PROMOTE UNITY:
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Eph. 5:31).
• There is a oneness, an intimacy, that takes place. Bible talks about ‘knowing’ your wife.
d. TO PROTECT MARRIED COUPLES:
“The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband… So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control.” (1 Cor. 7:3,5).
• A healthy sex life in marriage will help defend you against temptation.
• You figure out the frequency!
A WORD TO PARENTS:
• If you don’t teach your kids, they will be educated by someone else. Two keys:
1. Teach them to make wise entertainment choices:
o Garbage in, garbage out! Guard the heart.
2. Encourage them to wait until they are older before they start dating:
o STATISTICALLY: (A Case for Abstinence)
o Students who start dating at age 12, 91% are sexually active before marriage.
o Those who start dating at age 14, only 56% are sexually active before marriage
o Those who wait to age 16, only 20% get involved sexually before marriage.
SUMMARY:
• God is pro-sex. God designed sex for a marriage relationship. Pre-marital sex is wrong.
• Sex in marriage is to produce life, provide pleasure, promote unity, and protect couples.
• It’s important to talk about love, sex and relationships, and know God’s design.
Beausejour Community Church Website: www.beausejourchurch.ca
Pastor Chris Jordan’s Blog: http://thelandofpromise.blogspot.com/
Note: I am grateful to Pastor Scott Gaglardi for his message on “Pure Sex” that inspired parts of this message.
