Last week we began a series entitled the “Finer Points Of Love.” We are studying the fifteen characteristics of love that are listed in I Cor. 13:4-7. The first three are: love is patient, love is kind, and love is not jealous. Today we take a brief look at the next four.
Quality number 4: love does not parade itself (or) love does not brag. I like the way the Message translates this phrase, “love does not strut.” Other descriptive phrases would be: love does not crow; love does not show off; love does not blow its own horn. Boasting and bragging can get you into a lot of trouble.
Charles Swindoll in his book “Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back” tells the story of a farmer who wanted to impress his hunting buddies. To impress them, he bought the smartest, most expensive hunting dog he could find. He trained this dog to do things no other dog on earth could do---impossible feats that would surely amaze anyone. Then he invited the neighbors to go duck hunting with him. After a long patient wait in the boat a group of ducks flew over and the hunters were able to make a few hits. Several ducks fell in the water. “Go get ‘em!” shouted the proud owner to his magnificent dog. The dog leaped out of the boat, walked on the water, and picked up a bird and returned to the boat. As soon as he dropped the duck in the boat he trotted off across the water again and grabbed another duck and brought it back to the boat. The owner beamed with pride as his wonderful dog walked across the water and retrieved each of the birds one by one. Unable to resist the opportunity to brag a bit he asked his fellow hunters, “Do you notice anything unusual about my dog?” One of them rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Yes,” he finally said. “Come to think of it, I do! That silly dog doesn’t know how to swim does he?” (Contributed to Sermon Central by Richard Jones) Boasting will get you into trouble.
1. Boasting causes division. Even sports leaders recognize the harmful effects of boasting. Football has instituted a penalty for taunting the other team.
• Boasting causes division in marriage.
• Boasting causes division in church.
• Boasting causes division in sports.
• Boasting causes division at work.
2. Boasting blinds you to danger. The word “Titanic” has almost become a synonym for boasting and pride. Many stories have been told about the sinking of the Titanic. The sinking was a classic example of prideful boasting. It was told that a deck hand on the Titanic once said “God Himself could not sink this ship.” (Illustration 511 in Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations. Paul Lee Tan)
3. Boasting closes your ear to spiritual truth. Jesus once told a story about a rich farmer. "The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. And he thought within himself, saying, `What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?’ So he said, `I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.’ ‘But God said to him, `You fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’ "So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.’’ (Lk.12:16-21 NKJV) This parable warns of the danger of closing your ear to spiritual truth.
Quality number 5: love is not puffed up. This refers to conceit, arrogance, and pride. The Bible says “Pride goes before a fall.”
1. Pride keeps us from seeing our own faults and addressing them. I read a story about this couple that was having marital problems. They set an appointment to see a marriage counselor. As they talked the marriage counselor tried to get each of them to recognize and admit their individual failures. The wife began by identifying her mistakes. She said she had nagged, been jealous, and critical. When the husband began he said his biggest mistake was marrying his wife. Pride keeps us from seeing our faults and working to correct them. Pride will blind you to the truth about yourself.
2. Pride makes us look foolish.
I read a cute story recently and felt it had to be shared with all of you. It is a story as told by a young lady who also happened to be a Sunday School teacher. It goes like this. I was testing the children in my Sunday school class one morning, to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!" By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again. Again, they all answered, "NO!" I was just bursting with pride for them. Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."
(Contributed To Sermon Central by Donald Stevens)
“Pride is the only disease known to man that makes everyone sick except the one who has it.” Buddy Robinson
Quality number 7: love is not rude. This refers to being ill mannered, indecent, or showing unmannerly behavior. William Barclay says “Love does not behave gracelessly. It is a significant fact that in the Greek the words for grace and for charm are the same.”
(To be rude is to be Impolite; discourteous; offensive; disrespectful)
1. To be rude is to be disrespectful.
Examples: Suppose I see a lady carrying a heavy package and I refuse to offer her a helping hand. That is being rude and impolite. In doing this I am failing to act as a gentleman and respect the lady.
Suppose I see a lady or older person walk into a room where there are no empty chairs. Instead of getting up and offering my chair I continue to sit. That is acting in an impolite manner.
Suppose I see a senior adult walking toward the front door and I fail to yield or open the door for them. That is being rude and impolite. In doing this I am failing to act as a gentleman and respect the older person.
2. To be rude is to damage your testimony.
Joke: A Fellow was sitting at a stop light. The lady in front of him was going through papers on the seat of her car, and when the light changed to green she did not move. The light turned to red, and she had not moved. The fellow in the car behind her began (with his windows up) screaming and beating on his steering wheel. His expressions of distress were interrupted by a policeman, gun drawn, tapping on his window. Against his protestations of, "You can’t arrest me for hollering in my car," the officer ordered him into the back seat of his patrol car. After about two hours in a holding cell, the arresting officer advised him he was free to go. He said, "I knew you couldn’t arrest me for what I was yelling in my own car. You haven’t heard the last of this." The officer replied, "I didn’t arrest you for shouting in your car. I was directly behind you at the light. I saw you screaming and beating your steering wheel, and I said to myself, "What a jerk. But there is nothing I can do to him for throwing a fit in his own car. Then I noticed the ’Cross’ hanging from your rear view mirror, the Jesus is Coming Soon’ bumper sticker, and the Fish symbol, and I thought you must have stolen the car."
(Contributed to Sermon Central by Randy Aly)
3. To be rude is to be discourteous.
I see this displayed many times at ball games. Before ball games they always play the national anthem. Many times I see people standing without covering their hearts or failing to remove their hats. We should be courteous.
4. To be rude is to discourage.
In Ephesians 6:4 Paul instructs fathers to “not provoke your children to wrath.” That means to not ride them to the point of breaking their spirit.
A believer should be polite toward other people. A believer should be respectful toward other people. A believer should be courteous toward other people. A believer should use tasteful words toward other people. In short, Christian love should affect your behavior.
Quality number 7: love is not self seeking. This refers to the self seeking person who is concerned about his rights more than others.
I read a beautiful story that illustrates this truth. In December of 1971 the Daily News of Maryville, Tennessee, ran a brief story about a nine-year-old boy who did an inspiring and self giving act. He loved his mother, who had been widowed, and wanted to buy her a Christmas gift. However, he did not have enough money to buy the gift. He came up with a plan to sell his battered, rusty old bicycle to a local pawn shop. He cleaned the bicycle and carried it to the pawn shop. The owner gave him $8. As he left the shop and looked back he commented, “I won’t need that old bike before next spring anyway.”
(R.L. Middleton, “The Gift Of Love”. Nashville:Broadman. 1976. p. 31)
We find another example of this principle in I Corinthians 9. A question had arisen among the believers in Corinth as to whether Paul and the apostles should be paid for their work. In chapter 9 Paul addresses this subject. “Even so the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should live from the gospel. But I have used none of these things that it should be done so to me; for it would be better for me to die than that anyone should make my boasting void.” (vs. 14-15) Some people use this passage as a proof text that ministers should not be paid. Let me explain the context. Paul’s mission in life was to be a missionary. His desire was to preach the gospel in places where it had never been preached. That means there was no church established. There were very few believers. Thus, Paul did not demand his own rights. Love is not self seeking.
Many times in marriage we have to sacrifice rights in order to fulfill our responsibility.
• Demanding a right to practice a hobby.
• Demanding a right to sleep when the baby cries.
Many times in church we have to sacrifice rights in order to fulfill our responsibility.
• Demanding a certain class location.
• Demanding to have your way.
• There is a need for nursery workers at church but we refuse to help.
As I contemplated these four characteristics of love Phil. 2:5-8 came to my mind. “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” (NKJV) That passage tells us Jesus was willing to do three things in order to practice love.
1. Jesus was willing to Sacrifice. You cannot have a healthy marriage without sacrifice. You cannot have a healthy church without sacrifice. You cannot have a healthy work place without sacrifice. There is something within the human spirit that rebels against this demand.
You have probably heard the story of the chicken and hog that were walking down the road when they passed the church. They looked up at the church sign which read “Men’s breakfast; Menu- ham and eggs." The chicken said to the hog, "We ought to drop in and make a contribution.” The hog replied, "To you it would be a contribution but to me it would be a sacrifice."
2. Jesus was willing to Serve. Jesus was willing to die in order to serve the needs of men. He is our model. I have found that some people cringe when asked to use the phrase “serve” in their marriage vows. Whether it is marriage, church, or community Jesus is our example. We are called to be servants. You cannot have a healthy home without service. You cannot have a healthy church without service. You cannot have a healthy community without service.
3. Jesus was willing to Submit. The Bible says Jesus “became obedient to the point of death.” If I am to develop healthy relationships I must submit to God’s teachings. If I am to develop healthy relationships I must submit to Jesus example.
