Intro:
I wanted the Lord to return, but there were a lot of things that I wanted to do first.
How many of you want to get married some day?
What do you look for in a boy/girl friend?
TS. What does the bible say about marriage?
1 Cor. 7:6-9 (NIV)
I say this as a concession, not as a command. [7] I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
[8] Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. [9] But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Cor. 7:32-35 (NIV)
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs--how he can please the Lord. [33] But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- [34] and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. [35] I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
We are going to equate marriage with attachment for tonight’s message.
v.7&8 – singleness is a gift from God, just like marriage is.
V8.&9 - Unless you cant control yourself, stay single. Right here Paul is saying that marriage is better than burning with passion. That is the only reason that Paul list here for marriage.
This sort of does away with the whole romantic companionship ideals that we have for marriage today.
Valentines Day – Not the real world.
Now in other writings Paul talks of the benefits of marriage and even exhorts young widows to remarriage so Paul is not against marriage but neither is he against being single.
TS. In fact, in v. 32-35, he list several reasons to remain single:
1. Free from concern.
a. Freedom from concerns of pleasing your spouse - and you will be concerned with pleasing your spouse.
2. Married/Attached man’s interest is divided.
a. They must be if he is going to be a true man of God
i. Priest of his own home 1st. Then he can serve in the church. 1tm 3:5
ii. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Tim. 5:8 (KJV)
iii. He must be concerned with pleasing his wife.
1. Don’t be the one making all the sacrifices. If he won’t spend money now, he won’t later.
3. He also gives instruction to Women
a. Single they can be concerned about the lords business only.
b. They can be devoted to the lord in both body and spirit.
c. Married/Attached
i. Concerned with things of the world
1. how to please her husband/boyfriend.
4. Paul goes on to say that he is not saying these things to restrict individuals but to give them liberty
a. He is trying to tell single people that being single can be the best thing for them.
b. They can live a life of devotion to God with nothing distracting them.
TS. If being single is a gift from God, and if living single can be the best thing for some individuals, then why does the church treat single people as 2nd class citizens?
Personal Illustration: 25 yrs old when married.
Single ministries like bar hoping without the alcohol
Their mission was matchmaking not discipleship or relationship building.
Youth groups, camps, conventions can be the same. It is a good place to meet a boy/girl friend, but that can not be the priority.
Listen to me. STOP playing match maker. Get a clue from Genesis. God made, developed and gave Adam his wife. (After He tore him apart to make him ready to receive her.
Single people, if you are looking for a mate, allow God to rip you apart and prepare you for the one He has for you. And allow Him to be the one who brings your mate to you.
Natalie was a gift. Thank you Jesus. Past girls.
The problem is that when you burn with passion, you are tempted to marry the first thing that crawls or slithers by. And you don’t want to listen to anybody. Persey Sledge – When a man loves a woman.
TS. Remember, marriage is not the great commission. Spiritual Reproduction is. Evangelism and Discipleship.
Church let’s make a vow right now not to allow our singles to feel incomplete because of our words and actions. There will be a lot more single people coming in.
Don’t you think that if marriage brought about the ultimate fulfillment, Jesus would have been married?
Obedience and service, that’s the ultimate fulfillment on this earth. Rather you are single or married. Obedience is something you must decide to do on your own.
TS. But let me talk to you for just a moment.
The command to be fruitful and multiply today is a spiritual as well as a physical command today. U can fulfill it in the spiritual by nurturing younger less mature Christians. But 1st there are some things that you must understand when comes to God.
1. God is your provider.
a. Give us this day… Mt 6:11
b. All your needs according to his riches in glory…Phil 4:19
c. Not only will He meet your fin. Needs, he meets your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs as well
i. God is your source: Joy and happiness come from the Lord
1. attached people, It is not your BF/GF job to make you happy.
a. Find your contentment in God, single or married/attached
ii. Don’t look to a boyfriend or girlfriend to make you happy.
1. No person, job, house, car, material possession, no friend, no parent, no child, no book, no physcrachist, no drug or experience is going to give you lasting joy. Only God can provide that.
2. stop looking in all the wrong places.
d. God is your provider and you need to learn to know Him as such.
2. Your Identity should be defined in Christ by the Word of God
a. Who you are should be defined by WOG.
b. What you do should be defined by WOG.
c. Every thing that you are should be defined by WOG
i. Nonnie Illustration
1. I don’t want to be defined apart from the WOG
d. Single people, U don’t have to mix your loyalties. Define yourself according to the word of God.
e. Single and married people, let me help you define who you are.
You are a spirit filled, tongue talking child of God.
You are seated with Christ in the heavenly realms.
You are God’s workmanship.
You are created in God’s image.
You are more than a conqueror.
You are the head and not the tail.
You are an over comer.
You are a holy nation.
You are a royal priesthood.
You are set apart.
You are victorious.
You are righteous.
You are complete in God.
You are Gods friend.
You are bought with a price.
You are justified.
You are adopted.
You are redeemed.
You are not alone.
You are complete.
f. Until you can define yourself in Christ, you are going to be miserable, disenchanted, and unhappy. Rather you are single or married.
i. Remember that I am not advocating that all single people need to get married, but if you can’t define yourself in Christ as an individual, then you certainly don’t need to get married.
ii. If you are miserable… marriage/attachment will only make two people that way.
1. if you are already married, change.
TS. Again, I remind you… you don’t have to get married. In fact, paul lumps marriage in the same class with all the other things that are passing away.
However, you are inclined towards marriage, let me give you some real practical application in seeking your spouse.
Mate finding 101:
1. Every relationship should draw you closer to God not pull you away.
a. If you hide who you are dating, it is not of God.
b. As iron sharpens iron
c. Ill. Pull me up
2. Have standards: realistic standards
a. Remember the words God spoke to Samuel
i. Man looks outward, I look inward.
b. Have standards but not control issues
i. Michael illustration 110 standards
3. In conclusion, let me give you three God based standards to look for:
i. Saved
1. What fellowship…2Cor 6:14
a. No evangelistic dating
ii. JOB.
1. If a man does not work… Rom 4:5
2. Women need to be industrialist Prov 31
iii. 401k
1. a righteous man leaves an interherence…
2. While this is spiritual it is also financial Prob. 13:22
3. cant be trusted with worldly wealth, who will trust you with spiritual riches… Luke 16:11
---
Selected Bibliography
Special thanks and acknowledgement to Sermon Central and their contributors. Points and or illustrations may have been drawn from materials found on their website: www.sermoncentral.com.
A Treasury of Great Preaching. Austin, TX: WORDsearch Corp., 2005. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Brown, Francis, S.R. Driver, Charles A. Briggs. The Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon. Boston: Houghton, Mifflin and Company, 1906. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Eims, LeRoy. Be the Leader You Were Meant to Be: Growing Into the Leader God Called You to Be. Colorado Springs, CO: Victor, 1996. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Gaebelein, Frank E. Expositor’s Bible Commentary. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1976-1996.
Harris, R. Laird, Gleason L. Archer, Bruce K. Waltke, ed. Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament. Chicago: Moody Press, 1980. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Jamieson, Robert, A.R. Fausset, David Brown. A Commentary: Critical, Experimental, and Practical on the Old and New Testaments. Toledo, OH: Jerome B. Names & Co., 1884. WORDsearch CROSS e-book. Commentary contained as a single volume.
Life Application Study Bible. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale, 1988. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
McGee, J. Vernon. Thru The Bible with J. Vernon McGee. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1983. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Meyer, F. B. Expository Preaching: Plans and Methods. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Peters, Ruth. Bible Illustrations – Illustrations of Bible Truths. Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 1998. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Tan, Paul Lee. Encyclopedia of 15,000 Illustrations: Signs of the Times. Dallas, TX: Bible Communications, 1998. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Thayer, J. H., trans. Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament New York: Harper & Brothers, 1889. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Thompson, Frank Charles. Thompson Chain Reference Bible. Indianapolis, IN: B. B. Kirkbride Bible Co., 1997. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
Vine, William E. Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old Testament and New Testament Words. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1940. WORDsearch CROSS e-book.
