A little boy ran into the living room where his father and mother were reading. “Dad, where did I come from?” Mom cleared her throat, and excused herself from the room. The dad braced himself, searching his mind for the answer he‘d long been preparing for this question that they knew they would one day be answering. And he began, with something that started out with something like, “Son, when a man and a woman love each other very much…” From there, as his son sat kind of anxiously waiting he went through a long, careful explanation of how children are born. Finally, he was done. So the dad said, “Do you have any questions, son?” He said, “That’s great, Dad; but Billy down the street says he comes from Melbourne and I just wanted to know where I came from.”
We’ve come a long way from the days of “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Do you remember that show, still in black and white in the early 60’s? It had Dick Van Dyke and his wife Laura, who was played by Mary Tyler Moore. And in every episode that showed it, they were sleeping in separate, twin beds. That’s because our culture at the time wouldn’t even tolerate TV suggesting that a married couple slept in bed together. Around the same time there was “The I Love Lucy Show.” There, the bedroom scene rule was that either Desi Arnez or Lucille Ball had to have at least one foot on the floor at all times. Times have changed, a little. Today, red-faced parents are turning off the TV to keep their kids from watching twin beds with several people in them.
I wish it wasn’t necessary to speak about it so much, but in a series of messages about our basic ethics, it’s impossible not to speak about the importance of sexual purity among God’s people today.
Phil Callaway, The Total Christian Guy - “The only sex education my dad ever received came from an aunt who told him sex is a filthy, rotten and disgusting thing. Save it for the one you marry.”
Quote - I like the insightful point made by Benedict J. Groeschel, The Courage to Be Chaste - Perhaps one of the most persistent and obviously invalid assumptions of our civilization is that sexual behavior brings happiness. The media trumpet the message, "Sex brings happiness." If this were true, we would indeed live in an earthly paradise, and the world would be "Happy Valley." …If sex brought happiness, the world would shine like the sun, at least half the time…If there is a single key to contentment, it cannot be sexual experience.
It’s not important to speak about sexual purity just because the world is surrounding us with perversions of it. It’s also necessary because the church is too taken in by the lie. Statistically, there’s not a lot of difference between people inside the church and outside the church when it comes to sexual purity, even though God’s word is pretty clear about it.
So, let me make a few observations about sexual purity…
1. It Will Make or Break Our Testimony
All through history, right up to now, the reputation of the Church has taken shots because of impurity inside the camp. All I have to do is say the name Jimmy Swaggart, and right away many of you remember the way preachers in general and the whole church was laughed at. That’s because the world isn’t going to take us seriously if they get the impression that we don’t do what we say.
Philippians 2:14-15
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.
Yes, we’re supposed to shine like stars – not with arrogance because we’re superior to the rest, but with humility and a life that shows that Christ-followers are people who are sincerely trying to be pure like God’s children should be. The amount of positive impact our lives can have on other people is directly proportional to the level of personal purity we’re careful to maintain.
1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Real purity is a positive testimony all by itself!
2. It Shapes Relationships
With God
All through the books of Numbers and Leviticus there’s a lot of washing going on! The priests and the temple are constantly being purified -- cleansed of any impurities because God is pure. When Israel approached God, it was to be as people who cared about purity.
Today, God still cares about what’s going on when we approach Him. We can’t say we have a real relationship with God and at the same time carry around a heart that’s dirty.
1 John 1:6
If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.
Paul told the Corinthians: "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him."
We can’t have a healthy relationship with God if we harbor a 2nd love in our hearts – whether that’s an improper physical relationship, using pornography, or any other kind of sexual behavior that’s impure. If that’s where you live, instead of longing for times where it’s just God and you, you’ll run from them. Instead of telling God how much you love Him, you’ll find yourself unable to speak things you really don’t believe yourself. Your purity affects your relationship with God.
With Other People
You’ve seen it happen to people in this congregation -- something changes inside them. They kind of drift away. Their relationships with people in the Family mean less and less, and then you learn that they’ve become involved in some kind of immoral lifestyle. You think back on it, and it begins to make sense: the withdrawal; the lack of contact with the Family; they don’t accept your invitations to come over; they avoid you when they see you at the store. And it all goes back to some kind of hidden impurity they harbored in their heart. If you’ve been the person avoiding everyone else, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Listen to the contrast in James – this is about relationships between people.
James 3:16-18
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
Timothy was probably quite a bit younger than many of the people in the church at Ephesus. Paul had to write to him and urge him to stop letting his young age to allow him to be looked down upon. Instead, (I Tim 4:12) he was to set an example for the believers in speech, life, love, faith, and purity. Right in the middle of our relationship with each other is this subject of purity.
3. It determines where I’ll spend forever
Please, don’t listen to me. Just listen to what God says about this.
Colossians 3:5-6
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.
Ephesians 5:5
For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Impurity invites the wrath of God. Jesus gave His life for His church so that He’d be able to present a clean, spotless people to Himself -- not clean on our own, but washed clean by His blood! Not just outwardly clean, but with hearts that have been cleansed of the ugliness of sin.
Ill - You’ve gone into some businesses that have a sign, “No shirt, no shoes, no service.” I read that and say, “Wow, they don’t have anything in there!” Or maybe you’ve seen one that says, “No pets allowed inside.” Yes, your Great Dane has to stay outside because his hygiene and table manners won’t be very fitting inside the restaurant.
What if there was a sign hanging outside of heaven that said, “Nothing impure allowed inside”? Well, there is – or at least there could be. In Rev 21:27, as John describes the capital of heaven, the New Jerusalem, he says, "Nothing impure will ever enter it…" That’s because for heaven to be the wonderful place it’s going to be it has to be pure. Nothing impure will enter there, and that includes people with impure hearts. Purity will be part of what determines where you and I will spend forever.
Ephesians 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
It’s not a mistake on the HS’s part that He uses the relationship between a husband and his bride to picture the relationship of Jesus with His Church. A large lesson of that relationship is about the love a husband is to have for his wife, and how he should take care of her needs, just as Jesus loves and cares for His church. Another lesson is the way the Church is supposed to keep itself exclusively for Jesus. What husband doesn’t want his bride to be pure, and purely his?
Isn’t that the point of a wedding dress? Radiant, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, holy and blameless.
That all sounds kind of non-concrete, doesn’t it? What about the practical side of this subject? What about the living part of it? Let’s try something…
Ill - Behold, a pitcher of clean, clear water. You know, we take water for granted. If you’ve ever visited another country where the water isn’t safe to drink or even to use to rinse your toothbrush, you begin to appreciate clean water, like this. In fact, I think I’d like a drink of that clean water right now. (pour a glass and drink some) This is a stick. This is kitty litter. (dip stick in the water, then in the kitty litter, then stir it into the water) OK. Now, who’s up for a drink? I know, I just put kitty litter into it – but not much. It was just a little.
Isn’t it strange that we can look at issues of purity where drinking water is concerned and just a little bit of it isn’t OK, but when it comes to personal purity, sexual purity, we tend to justify just a little like it doesn’t matter. After all, it was just a little – just a little look at a porno website; just a little fling in the back seat of the car; just a little flirting with someone else’s spouse, just a little fantasizing, a little lust, just one movie with just a couple of scenes not fit for human consumption. It was just a little impurity. Does it matter?
Then, there’s the idea that somehow impurity is easily fixed.
Here’s this pretty white summer dress – the kind you have to be real careful with, because any mess ups and it will show. I can’t help but think of Paul’s words in Ephesians 5 as I look at this dress – you know, that Jesus gave himself up for the church – that’s you and me - to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Oops - a little wrinkle here. (bend down to “fix” it and put a big tear in the dress) Oops! Oh well, it can be fixed, right? Maybe it won’t show too much. Anyway, this dress seems kind of plain, kind of boring. It’s so white, so, so, inexperienced. Let’s try something. Let’s sweeten it up. A little chocolate syrup should do the trick. Besides, if it doesn’t look good later, we’ll just clean it up. (squirt syrup on it). OK, so it’s not quite as radiant as it once was, but there’s still a lot of untouched surface here. Maybe it needs to be spiced up. Lots of people like mustard. Why not? (squirt mustard on it) Hmm. Well, you know, as long as we’re committing to this, let’s go ahead and add a little spark to life – like from the fireplace – that sounds romantic, doesn’t it? (rub with a burnt piece of wood) Don’t panic! If it gets out of hand, remember, we can just fix all this (pull out paper towel and smear it around) There, that’s better!
What am I doing here? Simple. We take simple things in life and appreciate their purity. We want them clean. We work to keep them that way. And when that’s violated, we don’t think it’s “right.” We don’t accept it.
Our personal purity is no less real. To make ourselves impure is no more “right.” It doesn’t matter if it’s “just a little.” It doesn’t matter if we think “I’ll just fix it later.” It’s no more acceptable than what we’ve done up here this morning. And the outcome is more serious than dirty water or a ruined dress.
Listen to God’s word this morning in
1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
Let’s begin with that last sentence. What we’re about to look at here isn’t from Sherm Nichols or College Press or even Beth Moore! The person who chooses to reject this instruction has to admit that he or she is choosing to reject God. So, if you’re inclined to turn skeptical or cynical, you need to realize in just how serious a position you’re placing yourself. Do you really want to go there?
It makes it a lot easier for me to listen when we start with the reminder that this is God’s instruction for us, not some man’s.
1. Abstain from sexual immorality (v3)
The word here is the word from which we get our word pornography. It’s a broad word that covers any kind of sexually wrong living. The NIV says we’re to “avoid” it. That’s a kind of weak translation of a word that means to hold back, be away, or be distant from it. That’s why I’ve labeled this “Abstain from sexual immorality.” God’s instruction here is that His people are to distance themselves from anything sexually wrong.
When an observatory is about to be built, they select a site that’s high up. The point is to find a place where there’s a clear view of the heavens – one that won’t be cluttered up with light pollution or atmospheric interferences. If you want to see the heavens, you have to get away from the junk that gets in the way of a clear view. Do you want to see God? You have to get away from some of the clutter. You have to work sometimes to get a glimpse of Him without the things in-between.
2. Take control of your body (v4)
Learn to control your body in a way that is holy and honorable. There’s a concept! You are responsible for controlling your body. That takes away a lot of excuses, doesn’t it? Like – “I just have a lot of hormones,” or “I just get that way when I’m tired, or stressed, or had one too many.” God says you’re responsible.
Rom 6:12, Paul says don’t obey your body’s evil desires. You are responsible for control of your body. Take it. (v5) not in passionate lust, like the heathen, who do not know God. You’re different.
Remember, you can say this doesn’t matter to you, but to do that, you’ll have to be telling God His authority in your life doesn’t matter to you.
3. Don’t wrong others (v6)
Besides yourself, sexual sins always make a victim of somebody. There’s always the person who’s being exploited, the spouse who’s deceived, the family that’s being torn apart. In the case of Ted Bundy, his sexual sins led even to murder of somewhere close to 30 women.
In my files, I keep a list of the people who would be affected by it if I were to fail in this area. It takes up a whole sheet of paper, because sexual sins wrong others, not just God. It helps to remember exactly who is being let down, who is being hurt, if I give in to Satan’s temptation to compromise myself by being impure.
4. Choose to put your own sexual desires in their proper place (v7 – live a holy life)
A holy life. When asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus said it was to love: to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself.
We understand what love is because Jesus loved us – He gave His life for us. He placed our needs ahead of Himself.
Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
In I Corinthians 7, he husbands and wives are told that our bodies no longer belong to ourselves, but to our spouses first. Their needs come before our own.
That gives us a really solid guideline for sexual purity. If God is my first love, then my desires, my lusts, my wants, and even my needs have to take 2nd place to Him. When your body is fighting and screaming for some kind of satisfaction, and it’s in conflict with God’s word, the His word has to win out. You have to take the high road of sexual purity by putting God’s desires ahead of your own. If you love God first, you put yourself later.
Then, you love your neighbor too. If that’s true, you won’t use them as objects of your own desires, you won’t exploit or harm them, you won’t tempt them to compromise themselves. Men, you won’t treat women as objects to be used to satisfy yourself. Ladies, you won’t use your sexuality as a tool for power or manipulation. You’ll put your own desires last, because…God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Conclusion:
This thing of purity is within our grasp, because Jesus grasped it for us. You don’t do it by getting all the externals cleaned up. You don’t do it by fixing all the things about yourself that are bad. It’s more radical than that. It takes a change of our whole person on the inside.
