Review: Translated and free. Gains control by giving “ground.” Equivalent to giving house key to worst enemy. Occult activities.
The power of forgiveness
Free Indeed series
Ephesians 4:26-27
2 Corinthians 2:10-11
1. Illus. of Meg and Shirley
Meg got mad at Shirley when they were teens over a boy.
60 years later, she was still mad!
Shirley had tried to make it up. She had apologized, she had pled. But Meg was having none of it.
Her last words to Meg were, “You’re going to pay.”
She died an old, bitter, angry woman… because she could not forgive her sister.
2. Have you ever been there? Someone deeply hurts you, and what you really want to do is knock their teeth out! You want them to pay… oh boy do you want them to pay! But then, the Holy Spirit whispers in your heart, “No, no, forgive them instead.”
3. We live in a world of imperfect people. When imperfect people rub elbows with other imperfect people, bad things happen! When it does, we want to do the right thing, we really do. But we struggle with all these questions: “How can I forgive them after what they’ve done? If I forgive them, does it mean they get off scott-free? What if I forgive them and they come back and hurt me again?”
4. The Bible is a book about forgiveness! It talks about how God forgives us, and it also talks about how we are to forgive each other. While I’m not sure I understand everything it teaches about forgiveness, some things are crystal clear.
5. I want to summarize what the New Testament teaches about forgiveness. To help us organize our thinking, I want to present this teaching in the form of three questions and their biblical answers.
I. WHY IS IT IMPORTANT THAT I FORGIVE?
1. “Why should I forgive someone who was obviously in the wrong, and by being wrong hurt me?” There are many answers to that, but let me focus on just one: If I don’t, Satan has an open door into my life that he can use to oppress me and bring me into spiritual bondage!
2. See 2 Corinthians 2:10-11. Background: man in adulterous relationship with step-mom. Church didn’t want to address the issue, so Paul had to command them to do so. The man had since repented, but now they didn’t want to extend forgiveness to him! Paul warns them that if they don’t, they are giving Satan an open door through which he can take advantage of them. See Ephesians 4:26-27. The context of this “giving ground” is anger that isn’t properly dealt with, that is allowed to degenerate into bitterness.
3. Principle: When we allow bitterness into our lives, we give Satan an opportunity to oppress us and bring us into bondage.
4. Illus. of young woman.
• Needed to talk to a severely oppressed Christian woman. Usually try to get a woman prayer warrior, but in this case had to get my associate pastor Wallace T.
• This woman was experiencing some fairly high level bondage. Had tried to come see me on several occasions, but would develop nausea and headache that only quit when she would head toward home. When I opened our session by giving her a list of statements about who we are in Christ, she literally could not make her voice work to read them.
• “Tim, what door was Satan using to get such a grip on this woman’s life? Satanism? Occult practices?” No- a spirit of bitterness!
• Her dead father had a hyper-critical spirit. Nothing she did ever won his approval. Nothing was ever good enough. This had messed this young woman up. She was mad at the way her dad had sinned against her. She had developed a bitter and unforgiving spirit toward a man who was long since dead.
• Satan used that to oppress her and bring her into spiritual bondage.
5. Last week we talked about how Satan can use our involvement in occult activities to oppress us. Over the years, I’ve seen a small handful of people who were oppressed because they had dabbled in the occult. But do you know what? I’ve seen dozens of Christians that are spiritually oppressed because of bitterness. Christians who wouldn’t dream of buying a copy of the satanic bible will all too often harbor bitterness, which is just as much of the evil one as occultism!
6. Why forgive? We give Satan a key to our house when we don’t.
II. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FORGIVE SOMEONE?
1. See Ephesians 4:32, and Colossians 3:13. The way God forgives us is our pattern for forgiving others.
2. Biblical forgiveness means that we:
• Recognize the injury against us. When God forgives us, He doesn’t sweep our sin under the carpet and ignore it. He says “you’re right, you have sinned.” Don’t deny that the other person has sinned against you, and in sinning against you has injured you. I’ve heard people say, “Lord, I forgive so and so. I know they didn’t mean it etc.” No! You have just bypassed real forgiveness! Don’t rationalize their sin, don’t trivialize their sin. Acknowledge it, and acknowledge how deeply it injured you.
• Choose to give up our personal right to retaliate, and release them to God for judgment instead. Forgiveness is saying, “Lord, I have every right to settle the score with this person, to hold it against them until the right opportunity comes along. Instead, I choose to give up that right. I release them and this offense to you, and trust you to settle this score in any way you think is just. I will not use this offense against them in any way, now or in the future.”
3. Illus. of writing a letter
• In that letter you detail the offense against you, and how deeply wounded you are.
• You would seal it, stamp it, and put your return address on it.
• If you put it in the mailbox at this point, it would come back to you. It has to go to somebody, and you haven’t yet put an addressee on the envelope containing this list of offenses.
• If you put the offenders address on it and he refuses it, it comes right back to you.
• Who do we send this thing to? God’s Word says address this letter to the Lord Jesus Christ, and when you do open the envelope and add this “p.s.” at the bottom of the letter: “Father, I’m turning this over to you. Please handle this for me in whatever way you think is just and right.”
• Listen to me: The only legitimate recipient of our sins or the sins of others is the Lord Jesus Christ!
5. You say, “Wait a minute Tim. The bible says we are to go to our brother if he has sinned against me.” Yes, it does, but it is talking about the restoration of a relationship, not the forgiving of sin.
6. Now, let me clarify a point here. Forgiveness is something that takes place between you and God. See Luke 23:34. While Jesus forgave these men what they did, there was NOT a restoration of fellowship. Now, we hope in most cases that forgivness and restoration would keep each other company.. and often they do. But sometimes, like in the case of the cross, forgiveness is necessary but reconciliation is impossible!
7. What is forgiveness? Choosing not to retaliate, and releasing the offense and the offender to God.
III. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE?
1. There are many reasons why it is hard to forgive. I am convinced that the main reason is confusion. We are confused about what forgiveness is, and what it isn’t. Jesus’ cry for the forgiveness of those crucifying Him in Luke 23:34 helps correct many misunderstandings about forgiving others.
2. I can’t forgive them because then there would be no consequences for their sin. After Jesus forgave these men, they still had to live with the consequences of what they had done. Granting forgiveness does not erase the consequences of our sin. Suppose you steal my car and take it for a joyride, and are arrested for doing so. I can forgive you, but the next day you’re still going to be in jail! Forgiveness does not do away with the consequences of our actions.
3. I can’t forgive them because they must pay for what they did. Forgiveness doesn’t mean they won’t have to pay. It does mean that you are willing to trust the only righteous Judge in the whole universe to settle the account in a just fashion. While you are letting them off your hook, they are not getting off God’s hook.
4. I can’t forgive because I can’t forget what has happened. Do you think that when Jesus cried out for the forgiveness of these men that He forgot they were crucifying Him? Of course not! The old adage about, “forgive and forget” is wrong! We are told to forgive and forsake, not forgive and forget!
5. I can’t forgive them because I can’t trust them. A man or woman cheats on their spouse, or lies to their best friend. They can be forgiven, but that doesn’t mean that trust is instantly restored. Forgiveness is granted, trust and credibility are earned.
6. I can’t forgive them because they haven’t repented of what they did to me. Do you suppose these men were repentant for what they were doing to Jesus? Of course not! Yet Jesus forgave them anyway. Our sense of justice says, “I can’t forgive them until they are sorry for what they have done to me!” Forgiveness means saying, “You are guilty, even if you never repent. However, I still choose to release my right to seek revenge, and I release this to God to settle in a just way as He sees fit.”
7. I can’t forgive them because that means they would be free to hurt me again and again. Listen, forgiving someone doesn’t mean we are to be doormats for them to run over again and again. It is more than appropriate to build barriers and set boundaries and say, “you will not take advantage of me again in this way!”
CONCLUSION
1. Why forgive? What is it? Why don’t we do it?
2. Advise people to make a list (Ask God’s help). Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank You for the riches of Your kindness, forbearance and patience, knowing that Your kindness has led me to repentance (see Romans 2:4). I confess that I have not extended that same patience and kindness toward others who have offended me, but instead I have harbored bitterness and resentment. I pray that during this time of self-examination You would bring to my mind those people that I need to forgive in order that I may do so (see Matthew 18:35). I ask this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
Spouse? Friend? Coworker? Neighbor?
Lord, I forgive (name the person) for (verbally share every hurt and pain the Lord brings to your mind and how it made you feel).
After you have forgiven every person for every painful memory, then finish this step by praying:
Lord, I release all these people to You, and I release my right to seek revenge. I choose not to hold on to my bitterness and anger, and I ask You to heal my damaged emotions. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
