Help for the Home!
Colossians 3:18-22
1. Illus. of Nintendo game
• Joan bought it for us recently. I carefully consulted the instructions, because that thing looked like something from outer space!
• Then she bought us a wireless control for the thing. Looked just like the other one, except there were no wires.
• I figured, “I don’t need to read the directions.” Boy was I wrong. After fiddling with that thing for some time, not accomplishing anything by to get more and more frustrated. Finally, I fished the directions out and read them.
• Didn’t take 2 minutes to get that thing up and running. I thought, “why didn’t I just do that to start with?”
2. Marriage is a lot like that. God is the inventor of the family, and He has given us a set of instructions that show us how its supposed to run. As long as we do things by the instruction manual everything will be all right. If we ignore the instructions and just strike out on our own, marriage is just going to make us frustrated, upset, and angry!
3. While there are a lot of instructions in the Bible concerning marriage, there are only a handful of foundational principles. All the other instructions are built on these foundational principles. There are a lot of people in the world (you may be one of them) saying, “what is wrong with my home?” What may be wrong is that one or more of these foundational principles is being ignored!
4. Text: Paul talks to the Colossians about the basic Biblical principles that should govern their home life. Everything else the bible teaches us about the home is built on the foundation of these principles.
5. Today: You can take every study course in the world on family living, but unless your home life is built on these foundational principles, it won’t help you very much.
6. What are these foundational principles? The text gives us two.
I. WIVES ARE TO ENABLE THEIR HUSBANDS GOD-APPOINTED ROLE THROUGH VOLUNTARY SUBMISSION
1. Wives, God has appointed the husband as spiritual leader in the home, but he can’t do his job without your help! See vs 18a. In today’s society, the idea of submissiveness is politically incorrect. We have gotten the idea that is demeaning or derogatory to say a woman should be submissive to her husband.
2. None of that is in the biblical concept of submission. The word submissive is hupatassso, and it simply means to line up under. Both here and in Ephesians 5, the word is middle voice, meaning a voluntary act. Biblical submission simply means that the wife allows her husband to be the spiritual leader in the home, and that she voluntarily places herself under that spiritual leadership.
3. It does not mean that the wife does not have an opinion or a say-so. It does not mean that she is a mechanical yes man for the husband. It does not mean that she is inferior or less able. It does mean God has chosen the man to be the spiritual leader in the home, and that she has made a conscious decision to obey God by voluntarily placing herself under that leadership.
4. Illus. of Joan and myself
• Had some important decisions to make a while back. We discussed all the options, she told me what she thought about it, listened as I told her what I thought about situation, prayed together for wisdom and discernment about this matter.
• A few days later I found a card in my stuff when I got to the office. It simply said, “I’m glad you are the spiritual leader in our home. I will be praying for you to make the right decision for our family.”
• That’s the biblical concept of submission!
5. See vs 18b. What does that mean? The Biblical model for a submissive wife is none other than the Lord Jesus. See 1 Corinthians 11:3.
Was Jesus somehow inferior because He voluntarily chose to line up under the spiritual authority of the Father while He was here on planet earth? Nor will you be!
Did Jesus try to manipulate the Father? “OK, God, we’ll do what you want, but I’m going to make you pay for it later?” Nor should you!
The way Jesus submitted to the Father is your model for submitting to your husband!
6. Ladies, have you chosen to line up under your husband’s spiritual authority? Marriage is not a business, with whoever owns the majority of the stock getting the final say-so. It’s a one-flesh relationship where both parties express their opinions and desires. When important life decisions come up, most of the time there will be either initial or eventual agreement about the right thing to do. But when there is not, are you willing to say, “honey, you are the God-appointed spiritual leader in our home, so you make the call. Whatever you choose, I will support you joyfully and fully!”
7. Wives, you are to enable your husband’s spiritual leadership of the family through voluntary submission.
II. HUSBANDS ARE TO FULFILL THEIR GOD-APPOINTED ROLE BY LOVING LEADERSHIP
1. See vs 19. The husband is to step up to the plate and be the spiritual leader of the home. This leadership is not to be done abrasively, abusively, or with a bitter heart. It is to be done with the agape love of God!
2. I think the reason many wives have a problem with submission is that their husbands do not demonstrate the agape love of God toward them. I’m convinced that 95% of the submission problems would disappear if 100% of the husbands would learn to demonstrate agape love towards their wives.
3. Illus. of Scott
• When we were kids he burned hands severely on space heater. For a long time, he had to wear bandages on his hands, and he was scarred for years.
• After that, he didn’t even want to be in the same room with a space heater, and he darn sure didn’t want to touch one! Once burned, twice shy.
• Many women shy away from submission because their husbands have burned them with their self-centered, selfish behavior! These women are afraid that if they make themselves vulnerable through submission, you’ll burn them again.
• Guy’s, you don’t beat them into submission. You love them into it! Once you demonstrate through agape love that you have her best interest at heart, most women will gladly line up under your spiritual authority.
4. “How do you know if it’s agape love and not some self-centered, selfish imitation?” Fortunately, Paul defines it for us in Ephesians 5:25. The love Jesus has for His church is our model for loving our wives!
5. If you want to find out if you’re loving your wife with agape love, ask yourself, “would Jesus do this to His church?”
Would Jesus speak unlovingly to His church?
Would Jesus put His own welfare ahead of the welfare of His church?
Would Jesus take His precious church for granted?
Would Jesus see a need in His church without trying to meet that need?
6. Husbands, your foundational principle is loving leadership. Husbands, let be honest. When your wife trusts you to make the right decision for your home, are you seeking God’s will and acting in Christ-like love? Or do you say, “here’s my chance” and then under a thin veneer of make-believe act for your own selfish interests?
7. Husbands are to operate in spiritual leadership.
