MEN’S RETREAT – NOV 3, 2007
Speaking in the Fight
Col.4:6 - Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
1. Why speaking is a fight: hard to take a stand, etc.
a. Speaking is difficult.
i. We’re scared to speak!
1. It’s been said - "Top 3 fears: First, speaking in front of people, second, dying and third, speaking in front of people and dying."
a. Very funny, but really, peoples’ fear of speaking is greater than even their fear of death.
ii. Moses was scared to speak:
1. Ex.4:1, 10-15 - Then Moses said, "What if they will not believe me or listen to what I say? For they may say, `The LORD has not appeared to you.’ "Then Moses said to the LORD, "Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." The LORD said to him, "Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? "Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say." But he said, "Please, Lord, now send the message by whomever You will." Then the anger of the LORD burned against Moses, and He said, "Is there not your brother Aaron the Levite? I know that he speaks fluently. And moreover, behold, he is coming out to meet you; when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. "You are to speak to him and put the words in his mouth; and I, even I, will be with your mouth and his mouth, and I will teach you what you are to do.”
iii. 4 Distinctively frightening points in speaking:
1. Meeting someone.
2. Starting a conversation.
3. Transitioning to a spiritual conversation.
4. Bringing them to a point of decision.
b. It is hard to practice what you preach.
i. James 1:22 - Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
ii. 1 Jn.3:18 - Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
2. Power of the tongue:
a. James 3:1-12 - 1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and saltF6 water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
b. Pr.18:21 – The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
c. Mt.18:18 - I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
d. Corresponding responsibility!
i. Mt.12:36 - But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.
3. This fight must come out of your walk with God.
a. 2 Cor.4:13 - It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak.
i. If it comes from me it will be no good.
ii. From Him it will be words of life.
b. Communication with God is the foundation for communication with others!
i. 1 Thes.5:17 - Pray continually.
ii. James 5:16 - …The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
iii. Col.3:16 - Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another…
c. Jesus was our example:
i. Lk.4:32 – “The people were amazed at the things he said, because he spoke with authority.”
d. His Holy Spirit now produces that same authority in us:
i. Mt.10:19 - When you are arrested, don’t worry about what to say in your defense, because you will be given the right words at the right time.
ii. 1 Peter 4:11 - If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.
1. The authority for what we say comes from Him.
iii. He desires to speak through us, empowering you and giving you the words to speak.
4. Fighting on every level: As husbands, as fathers, as friends, as neighbors, as co-workers, as brothers, etc.
a. The call to this fight comes from God:
i. Jer.1:4-10, 17-19 - The word of the LORD came to me, saying, 5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew F1 you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." 6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD ," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." 7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, ’I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. 9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."… 17 "Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. 18 Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land-against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. 19 They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
b. Fight for your wives: Your words will make a difference!
i. 1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
ii. Eph.5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.
1. Loving and laying life (rights, expectations, wants, etc.) down for her in actions and speech.
c. Fight for your children: Your words will make a difference!
i. Eph. 6:4 - And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
ii. 1 Cor.11:1 - Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.
1. My dad’s awesome example (esp. scripture memory).
d. Fight for your brothers and sisters: Your words will make a difference.
i. 2 Tim.4:2 - Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction.
ii. Titus 2:7-8 - In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
iii. Fight for younger Christians: Discipleship; your words will make a difference.
1. Take the initiative to challenge and encourage them.
a. John Ray’s example.
e. Fight for the lost: Evangelism; Your words will make a difference!
i. 1 Cor.9:16 - Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!
ii. 2 Cor.5:20 - We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.
1. Russ’ example of taking initiative.
iii. Rom.10:13-15 - "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
1. Terrible quote widely attributed to St. Francis of Assisi: “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.”
a. Words are necessary!
2. Ez.2:7, 3:17-19 - You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen… "Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. When I say to a wicked man, ’You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself.
iv. 1 Cor.2:2-7, 13 - For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power. We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.
5. What you say matters:
a. The negative things you say matter: gossiping, slandering, cussing, arguing (21st st. coffee ex.), sarcasm, coarse joking, etc.
i. Verses on all those but basically: Eph.4:29-30 - Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live.
b. The positive things you say matter:
i. These are often the hard things to say; edifying, encouraging, loving.
ii. We must be true encouragers:
1. Acts 4:36-37 - Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles’ feet.
2. Pastor Mark Minichiello’s example.
c. What you neglect to say matters: asking forgiveness, admitting you are wrong, saying I love you, I’m proud of you.
i. Pr.27:5 - Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
6. How you say it matters (Love, Love, Love):
a. Wife: words you us (they never forget), attitude, eyes, voice, intent, etc.
b. Kids: do they know you love them and are proud of them?
i. Kyle Kostreva’s Example.
c. Your brothers and sisters in Christ: Love and encouragement?
d. The lost: Are your words conveying Christ’s love.
i. 21st street coffee house example.
7. We can’t be quiet any longer.
a. The world is going to hell, the Church is dead asleep, our families are in shambles and God is looking for you to take a stand.
i. Standing includes speaking!
ii. We need to get over our petty insecurities and speak out.
iii. Victory over those insecurities comes out of our relationship with Him.
1. Remember Moses and Aaron. Ex.4:11-12 - Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? "Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say."
2. Remember, He desires to speak through us, empowering you and giving you the words to speak.
a. Pr.28:1 - The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
b. Jim Elliot wrote in his journal – “Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road; make me a fork, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.”
c. Is.6:8 - Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
i. What you say (and don’t say) matters, it will make a difference; will you make a stand for Him, trusting Him and allowing Him to speak through you?
Discussion Questions
1. Which of the 4 frightening points in conversation are most difficult for you?
a. Meeting someone, starting a conversation, transitioning to a spiritual conversation and bringing them to a point of decision.
i. Note: Even after you’ve come to know someone, the next 3 apply, whether it be an evangelistic conversation or other.
2. What needed conversation will you trust God with and take initiative with when you return home?
3. Where do you need to trust God, and grow closer to Him, in order to experience the boldness he promises?
a. Pr.28:1 - The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
Discussion Questions
1. Which of the 4 frightening points in conversation are most difficult for you?
b. Meeting someone, starting a conversation, transitioning to a spiritual conversation and bringing them to a point of decision.
i. Note: Even after you’ve come to know someone, the next 3 apply, whether it be an evangelistic conversation or other.
2. What needed conversation will you trust God with and take initiative with when you return home?
3. Where do you need to trust God, and grow closer to Him, in order to experience the boldness he promises?
c. Pr.28:1 - The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
Discussion Questions
1. Which of the 4 frightening points in conversation are most difficult for you?
d. Meeting someone, starting a conversation, transitioning to a spiritual conversation and bringing them to a point of decision.
i. Note: Even after you’ve come to know someone, the next 3 apply, whether it be an evangelistic conversation or other.
2. What needed conversation will you trust God with and take initiative with when you return home?
3. Where do you need to trust God, and grow closer to Him, in order to experience the boldness he promises?
e. Pr.28:1 - The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
