Margins
Slowing Down, part 4
Wildwind Community Church
David Flowers
November 1, 2008
When you read a book or write a paper, what are the margins? Margins are two things – they are places that separate something from nothing. No book or report would look good if it were filled with words on the entire page. Margins create a sense of space. The other thing margins do is establish the guidelines for the print. Print does not go beyond the margins.
I wonder how many people there are in America right now who call themselves Christ-followers and who sincerely desire to do what Jesus would have them do, but who don’t have any margins in their lives and therefore can’t do it. Their entire lives are packed with commitments and responsibilities. There’s no blank space. Their lives are over-cluttered messes, like a page without margins. Their lives lack the beauty and order and definition that margins bring to life. Such people find that no matter how much they may want to seek God, their lifestyles and schedules simply make it impossible. We can intend all we want to do something, but if we have not created conditions in our lives where it’s possible to do what we have intended, it’s all in vain. This series we’re currently in is called Slowing Down. In week 1 I spoke to you about following Jesus the truth in the way of Jesus the Way. Many of us are trying to follow Jesus in a way that is more like Madison Avenue or Wall St. than it is like Jesus. We have swallowed this whole busy, American, fast-paced, individualized, marginless culture, but the way of Jesus stands in stark contrast to all of that. We will fail to obey the truth of Jesus is we do not walk the way of Jesus, because the truth of Jesus can only be lived along the way of Jesus. That was week 1.
In week 2 I asked you to consider how it is that we can pursue God in a way that doesn’t end up doing damage to ourselves and others. I have allowed that question to go unanswered for two weeks. Want the answer now? The answer was found in the sermon from the previous week. If we are going to pursue God in a way that doesn’t damage ourselves and others, we must pursue the truth of Jesus on the way of Jesus. If that doesn’t make sense, go back and listen to the first sermon in this series. But that’s it. The reason we end up doing damage to ourselves and others is because we pursue Christ in ways that are unChristlike.
In week 3 last week we talked about getting down off the pastor thing – realizing that God’s call is to all of us – that we have all been called and chosen. These are all immensely important things to think about and so in this series we’ve been practicing what we preach. The series is called Slowing Down, and I’ve taken my time in getting to where I’m ready to talk to you about the way you structure your life.
Not everyone here tonight is a Christ-follower, but for the majority of those of us who are, the main thing that gets in the way of us following Jesus the Way is the pace of our lives. The pace of our lives. The packed out, overcommitted, marginless way we live. Now I need to get real honest here for a minute and tell you that I had to eek out this sermon this week. Do you know why? Do you know why I had to make myself do this this week? Do you know why I couldn’t find the passion? Because I’ve lived my life with no margin the last few weeks. I have stayed up too late and functioned on too little sleep. I have not worked out because when I get up feeling that lousy I can’t drag myself to the club. I have felt sick because of stress and poor eating habits. Over the past couple weeks, worry and anxiety have slipped back into my life. I’ve spent too much time on the computer. I’ve watched too much news. I’ve absorbed too much world and too little God. I have slipped into a state I have come to call “soul starvation.”
I know there are many of you in that state right now. You are stressed. You are exhausted. You have stayed up way too late doing nothing particularly productive. You have moved away from the things that refresh your soul and recreate you to things that wreck your soul and reduce you. You are soul-starved. And worst of all, it is self-imposed soul-starvation.
If you’re anything like me, you can live in this state for weeks or months. I mean, it’s half-alive, or less, but you can stay there for a while. You get to where you are driven not by passion and purpose, but by pettiness. You stop investing your time and start spending it. Basically, you move God from his place in or near the center of your life to a place on the outside edge. You “let yourself go,” so to speak. You rush around and get things done and tick things off your task list during the day, and then sit and watch TV and eat junk food late into the night, which sets the perfect tone for doing the same thing the next day. C’mon, am I the only one who gets into these cycles?
I have spent years trying to figure out why I do this. I don’t know if my answers are your answers, but I have realized I do it for the following reasons:
1. The grass starts looking greener. Living a life that is purposeful requires such focus that I eventually get tired. But living purposefully exhausts you in a good way, like a good workout at the club. Living pointlessly exhausts you in a terrible way – like the crash that comes after eating too much sugar.
2. To run from responsibility. One of the scariest things in life is realizing that we are ultimately responsible for how we live and the choices we make. I have to be honest and tell you that sometimes I get sick of being super-responsible guy who faithfully tends to others and always tries to do the right thing. Since I’m not going to have an affair or start taking drugs or commit a crime, I “act out” in other ways like those I have mentioned. A book by an author I love is called “Adventures in Missing the Point.” Whether we take drugs, look at porno, sit up all night eating and watching TV or playing on the computer or playing video games, gamble, whatever – it’s all adventures in missing the point. If you were here last week I showed you that you are God’s chosen people, created for God’s work and called to it. That is your purpose, that is your point in life. And all that stuff that distracts you from it, keeps you from answering that call and living it out moment by moment – it’s adventures in missing the point. There are ten million ways to miss it. And I don’t think Satan cares which one you pick. If you’re a drug addict, okay – that’ll probably make sure you miss the point. But you can just as certainly miss the point watching Everybody Loves Raymond and eating chips all night long. And you know it’s true because many of you, like me, are missing the point right now.
3. The third reason I slip into these cycles is because I sometimes want to use my power to serve myself. We all have power. Power is your ability to bring about your will. After a while of exercising my power responsibly, I think I start feeling like I deserve a little something for me. A night up on the computer all night, or watching TV too late. And of course those lost hours of sleep make me feel lousy the next day, which virtually assures I’ll live the same lazy way tomorrow that I lived today. Jesus was right when he said:
Luke 9:24-25 (NIV)
24 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.
25 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?
The truth is I’m never more well-adjusted, more relaxed, or happier than when I am living with margins in my life – going to bed at a decent time, getting up feeling refreshed and ready for the day, working out, working systematically through my task list, avoiding excessive TV watching, prioritizing my family – using the power God gave me to be proactive in setting and living within healthy margins in my life.
Why do you get into these cycles? Because you do. Your destructive things might look different from mine, but you have them. We all do. Have you ever thought about why you sometimes throw away all the margins and go crazy?
We’re talking about margins tonight. My hope, indeed my plan, is to not only speak these words but to listen to them. My challenge to you at the end of this message to create or live with margins in your life will be a challenge for me as well. It’s something I hope we can do together. And then in a few months, we’ll need to do it again, because we’ll continue to be called outside the margins by our dark places into destructive ways of living that drain us of energy and cause us to miss the point.
Remember last week I preached this message that kind of rebelled against the traditional 3-point sermon? Well tonight what I essentially have for you is a traditional five-point sermon! Because what I want to talk to you about is five margins you either need to create or learn to live within. I have a feeling that for me these margins will never be things I live totally within – rather they will serve as my grounding – as the things I keep coming back to when I have once again grown so sick of myself that I just want to puke. I do hope as I continue growing to learn to spend more time within the margins and less time outside of them.
Margin #1 – Learn contentment.
Philippians 4:11-13 (MSG)
11 … I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances.
12 I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty.
13 Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.
Some ways to learn contentment are:
a. Count your blessings regularly
b. Question your cravings
c. Learn to see patterns of discontentment and unrest and check under the hood
d. Practice patience and grace in suffering
e. Continue moving God to the center of your life, which will move externals to the fringe
Margin #2 – Obey the fourth commandment. (Sabbath). I’ve preached on this and it’s still on the website, so I refer you to my sermon A Call to Rebellion if you’d like to review that or if you haven’t heard it yet. No question that Sabbath-taking plays a huge rule in helping us slow down and create margin in our life.
Margin #3 – Pause and pray before making a decision. This goes back to moving God to the center of your life. What’s most important is not whether you pray for more hours than you watch TV or work. What’s most important is whether you go about your life in an attitude of prayer – that you involve God in your choices – that when you notice, like I have this week – that you have moved God to the outside edges, you realign your life and move him back to the center again.
When we get into these places where we’re just running around busy all the time and doing things, we’re not really doing our best work. We might feel we’re working hard and being diligent, but the best decisions are made with perspective. Perspectives comes through consideration. And we can only consider something if we’ve taken some time to do it. I don’t mean to wait three weeks to make every little decision. I mean pausing for a few seconds or a few minutes and saying, “Does this decision have the stamp of God? Does it have his character in it and his fingerprints on it?”
Think how many godless decisions could be avoided if we simply slowed down enough to get some perspective. Would a married man go in and have that drink with a single woman if he stopped for ten seconds and said, “Does this decision have God’s character in it and God’s fingerprints on it?” Would we buy that next expensive gadget or toy as often if we simply asked, “does this decision bear the stamp of God? Is this how God would have me spend my money?” Next time we’re sitting at home thinking it’s either church or golf, what would we do (most of the time – not all of the time) if we simply asked, “What do I need to build my life around if I am going to be the person God would have me be?” What about in our marriages and dating relationships. What if before responding to something the other person says, we just prayed, God --
Psalm 19:14 (NIV)
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight…
If we would simply take a moment to consult God, we would often hear God saying to us:
Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Or something like that. We all know that’s true, but we speak harshly in the heat of the moment and don’t take even a few seconds to think about what’s about to come out of our mouths.
Margin #4 – Learn to say no. Some of us are pathological “yessers.” We’ve never met a job or responsibility we haven’t said yes to. You can tell who the pathological yessers are, you know how? They’re the ones who chronically either can’t keep all their commitments, or chronically do work that you know is below their own standard, are chronically stressed out and frustrated, chronically make excuses, or all of the above. Pathological yessers are people who say yes out of habit, or out of a need for approval, or out of a perfectionistic sense that no one can do a job as well as they can. If you are a pathological yesser, Rick Warren suggests that you ask two questions every time a new opportunity comes up.
a. Is it worth it?
b. What am I going to give up?
By the way, it’s easier to say no if you know your purpose in life. If you know what God has put you here for, then you accept opportunities that will advance that purpose and you say no to opportunities that will clutter your life with distractions. Personal example: Music is one of the great loves of my life. I would absolutely love being in a band that travels around and plays in clubs and at festivals and stuff. But as much as I love music, it’s not my purpose in life. My purpose in life is to preach and teach and to be a great husband and father. Therefore I have always resisted the compulsion to just join a band and play around, because it would distract from my being the best husband/father I can be, and ultimately from my being the best preacher/teacher I can be. On the other hand, I’m currently pursuing four new opportunities that will expand my ability to influence others by teaching. If you haven’t written down your life purpose, I highly encourage you to do so, and then begin making decisions based around that purpose. If you find you are a compulsive yesser and you just can’t stop, I encourage you to get a referral from me to see a professional who can help you get this under control.
Margin #5 – Trust God’s timing. God is never in a hurry and he wants you to rest in his care. You don’t need to rush God or go around making things happen for him. God knows what he is doing and can take care of himself!
Those who aspire to be followers of Jesus must follow his truth in his way. That means:
1. Learn contentment
2. Obey the fourth commandment (Sabbath)
3. Pause and pray before speaking/acting/deciding
4. Learn to say no
5. Trust God’s timing
These are all margins Jesus lived in – in other words they are the way of Jesus! He asked us to do things we cannot possibly do on any way other than his. These five things will slow your life down and make it possible to obey the one so many of you earnestly seek to obey.
I told you that at the end of this message I’d give you a chance to create or begin to learn to live with margins in your life. What do you need to do?
Remember, this isn’t about forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. If something today really resonated with you, you already know what it was and I encourage you to just follow up with it this week.
Would you stand please?
