Purpose: To show why forgiving others is important.
Aim: I want the listener to know how to forgive others and then do it.
INTRODUCTION: We live in a world that is hurting deeply. Relationships go sour, anger becomes the norm, and many live in a constant state of frustration. Jesus, on the other hand, said: “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NAU)
How can we live in a broken world and still have peace?
“Kenneth Hart, a psychology professor at the University of Windsor (Ontario, Canada), studied sixty-six recovering alcoholics. The individuals had one thing in common: They were all angry with someone. Teaching forgiveness, Hart found, is one way to break the cycle that causes recovering alcoholics to relapse. If they release their anger through forgiveness, they no longer have a reason to use alcohol as an escape. One of the former addicts said, "Forgiveness is more for yourself than for the person you’re forgiving. For me to forgive that person sets me free."
"This therapy of freedom through forgiveness is totally biblical. God is free to love us because He has forgiven our sins committed against Him. God’s anger toward sin has been propitiated (turned away) by the death of Christ (1 John 2:2). Paul writes that we should forgive one another as God has forgiven us. Think how the world (your world) would change if all personal anger were immediately released through forgiveness." [From an email from David Jeremiah Nov. 20, 2008 ]
➽I. How Important is Forgiveness?
Why would someone refuse to forgive? Unforgiveness feels good. It gives us a sense of power and superiority. It releases adrenalin which gives us extra strength and a heighten sense of awareness. The problem is that God did not design our bodies to sustain that kind of intensity for long periods of time.
➽A. Unforgiveness hurts our bodies
“Unforgiveness has been framed as a stress reaction (Worthington & Scherer,2004). The negative health consequences of chronic stress and the physiological wear and tear of a hyperaroused stress response have been observed in traumatized populations and in people who have endured extreme and/or chronic stressors.
“The results [of the study] have been mixed (e.g., Futterman, Kemeny, Shapiro, & Fahey, 1994) but generally support the idea that positive affect enhances and negative affect compromises immune functioning (e.g., Labott, Ahleman, Wolever, & Martin, 1990).” [“Handbook on Forgiveness” by Alex H. S. Harris & Carl E. Thoresen P.322]
Unforgiveness is the act of drinking poison and hoping someone else dies. Perhaps a lot of our misery is self-inflicted. Matthew 18:34-35 34 “And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. 35 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” (NAU)
Paul told us: Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, (NAU) Today we going to learn that we can choose which one we want: death or life.
➽B. Unforgiveness strains our relationships
Hebrews 12:15-16 15 See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; 16 that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. (NAU)
Esau passed up an opportunity to have a future blessing from his father for the immediate pleasure of a meal. Later he passed up an opportunity to forgive his brother Jacob for stealing his birthright so he could embrace bitterness for many years. Genesis 27:41 So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” (NAU)
Unforgiveness not only ruins any chance of having a good relationship with the person who offended you, it also affects all of your other relationships. You will be less happy so you will be less fun to be around. You are more likely to become cynical and untrusting of others around you, and that will push people away from you and that will make you more cynical and untrusting. Bitterness WILL eventually poison the atmosphere around us.
➽C. Unforgiveness dampens our fellowship with Christ
Luke 6:37 … pardon, and you will be pardoned. (NAU)
Charles Spurgeon said: “ What riches of grace does free forgiveness exhibit! To forgive at all, to forgive fully, to forgive freely, to forgive ever! Here is a constellation of wonders, and when I think of how great my sins were, how dear were the precious drops which cleansed me from them, I am in a maze of wondering, worshipping affection. I bow before the throne which absolves me; I clasp the cross which delivers me; I serve henceforth the Incarnate God through whom I am this day a pardoned soul.” [Spurgeon, R. C. H. (2000). Daily Help (electronic ed.) (187). Escondito, California: Ephesians Four Group.]
When we are focused our own forgiveness, we will find forgiveness becoming a part of our every day lives.
➽D. Refusing to forgive others reveals a need to be forgiven
Mark 11:25-26 25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. 26 [“But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”] (NAU)
Someone who is unwilling to forgive others has not been willing to receive God’s forgiveness. Hebrews 12:14 Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. (NAU) So, those who refuse to pursue peace with others will not go to heaven.
1 John 1:9 If we confess [or “are confessing” i.e. it is a part of our daily lives] our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (NAU)
➽II. What is Forgiveness?
➽A. Forgiveness may not restore a relationship
Romans 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. (NAU)
God does not hold us accountable for someone else’s refusal to get thinks right with us.
➽B. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the offense
It is true that the Bible says: Jeremiah 31:34 . . . declares the LORD, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” (NAU)
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins. (NAU)
Literally NOT REMEMBER means: 1 to remember, recall, call to mind. 1a (Qal) to remember, recall. 1b (Niphal) to be brought to remembrance, be remembered, be thought of, be brought to mind. 1c (Hiphil). 1c1 to cause to remember, remind. 1c2 to cause to be remembered, keep in remembrance. 1c3 to mention. 1c4 to record. 1c5 to make a memorial, make remembrance.[Strong, J. (1996). The exhaustive concordance of the Bible. (electronic ed.) (H2142). Ontario: Woodside Bible Fellowship.]
Let’s remember that forgetting an offense does not mean that we have no recollection of it. Genesis 41:50-52 50 … two sons were born to Joseph,… 51 Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh, “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household.” (NAU) Joseph later talked about his troubles, but the difference was that the past hurts did not consume his thoughts.
➽C. Forgiveness is surrendering the right to see the offender punished
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision to stop being angry about the offense. When we forgive we must release the person who hurt us to God’s care and trust Him to handle that person. If he needs punishing God will do it. If God wants to open his heart to the Gospel and forgive him, He can do that. Don’t be like Jonah who wanted revenge more than mercy for his enemies.
More on this in a minute, but for now let’s understand this: Forgiveness takes the pain out of an offense.
➽III. How can we Forgive?
➽A. See your own need for forgiveness
How do you want God to forgive you? Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (NAU)
Do you want the Lord to keep bringing up your past sin? Do you want the Lord to say He has forgiven you and then act coldly toward you?
Our need for forgiveness is great, because the One we have sinned against is great.
It does not matter if someone’s sin against us is much worse than any sin we have ever committed against someone else, because our sin against God is still worse. The depth of an offense is measured by the importance of the one offended.
Psalm 51:3-4 3 For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me. 4 Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, … (NAU)
For example, if you threaten to beat up your neighbor you have sinned in the eyes of the law. But, if you threaten to beat up the President of the United States the law sees that as a much greater offence.
So, sinning against another sinner is not as serious as sinning against the one and only Holy God of the universe.
➽B. Pray for God to bless the one who hurt you
Luke 6:27-28 27 “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (NAU)
You can’t be angry at a person at the same time that you are asking God to bless them.
Philippians 2:3-4 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (NAU)
There is no one on earth who is too sinful for you to forgive! Remember that Jesus paid the penalty of your sin while you were still His enemy. Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (NAU)
➽C. Trust God to take care of you and the person who offended you
Romans 12:19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written,[in Deut 32] “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. (NAU)
If God has promised to care for us and to handle all punishment, then we have to decide to believe Him or not believe Him.
Those who put their whole trust in God live in wonderful peace. Psalm 32:10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, But he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him. (NAU)
➽D. Promise to obey God’s command to love
The struggle is to get out of the ruts that our old patterns of thinking have dug. It is possible to think differently, but it takes a commitment and some hard work.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, (NAU)
The only perfect example of love is from Jesus Christ. In order to love others we must focus on God’s love. Isaiah 26:3 “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. (NAU) Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (NAU)
What do your thoughts dwell on?
“Through forgiveness God tears down the walls that our sins have built, and he opens the way for a renewed relationship with him. This is exactly what we must do if we are to forgive as the Lord forgives us: We must release the person who has wronged us from the penalty of being separated from us. We must not hold wrongs against others, not think about the wrongs, and not punish others for them. Therefore,forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises:
➽ "I will not dwell on this incident."
➽ "I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you."
➽ "I will not talk to others about this incident."
➽ "I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship."
“By making and keeping these promises, you can tear down the walls that stand between you and your offender. You promise not to dwell on or brood over the problem or to punish by holding the person at a distance. You clear the way for your relationship to develop unhindered by memories of past wrongs. This is exactly what God does for us, and it is what he calls us to do for others.” [Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande (Updated Edition, Baker Books, 2003).]
CONCLUSION: “Forgiveness is the key to the doorway of healing and freedom. Forgiveness builds a sturdy bridge over which repentance and reconciliation can pass. To forgive is to set a prisoner free -- and you will discover the prisoner was you.
➽“If there is someone you have not forgiven, you are not yet free. Find freedom today by releasing the anger that holds you captive—forgive just as God in Christ has forgiven you.”
➽Forgiveness is God’s command. Martin Luther [From an email from David Jeremiah Nov. 20, 2008]
