Opening illustration: Some years ago the press had reported that the president of a Midwestern theological seminary was fired after the Board of Directors determined that his temper had imperiled his leadership. The president confessed to “misappropriation of anger,” and after hours of agonizing discussion and interviews with the president and vice presidents, a majority of the board members concluded that the expressions of anger had irreparably damaged his ability to lead the seminary. Who would have thought that after years of educational preparation and in-depth study of Scriptures this president would lose his job because he could not control his emotions. On the other hand there was an article that reported two penniless refugees from Cuba who came to the USA in the 1970s and became millionaires because of their ability to control their emotions.
The mention of the term self-control undoubtedly brings to mind different images for people depending on their particular circumstances. Many probably think of combating dominating habits that can range from the simple to the more complex and debilitating. It may be as simple as a poor diet or a tendency to overeat at Thanksgiving, or to talking too much. It may also be something far more serious like chain smoking, drunkenness, drug abuse, sexual sins (pornography and adultery), a quick temper, a pattern of exaggerating or lying, etc. Others may think of dealing with an abusive spouse, parent, or employer or of dealing with their own tendencies toward losing control and becoming abusive. Others need self-control because they are lazy or have poor work habits while others are workaholics and need self-control to back off and learn to relax.
Regardless, self-control is very much an important part of maturity. One of the basic characteristics of infancy is a lack of self-control. Not only do babies need diapers, they must be carried because they lack the necessary control and muscle coordination to sit up much less walk or run. If babies are healthy and normal, in time they will develop more and more self-control - a sure sign of growth and maturity.
The importance of self-control can be seen in the news media which graphically portray how the lack of self-control, because of man’s various inner cravings, impact our society for evil. Plainly, when men and nations turn away from God and seek significance, security, and satisfaction through the desires of the flesh, it leads to a blatant absence of self-control. This will then manifests itself in hundreds of ways with devastating results on individuals, families, on certain groups in a society (the fatherless, the widow, and the poor [see Isaiah 1: 21-23]), and on society as a whole.
Let us look into God’s Word and see what kind of self-control God desires of us.
Introduction: Self-Control (Proverbs 16:32; 25:28; Rom 13:12-14; I Corinthians 6:12; 9:25-27; 1Thessolonians 5: 22; Titus 2:12; Heb. 12:2; II Peter 1:5-7) is allowing God to be in control of your will and heart and seeking the Spirit to enable us. Then we will know what not to do and guard the areas we are weak in. This will allow us to have discipline and restraint with obedience to God and others. It is not letting distractions derail or remove us from His will and plan so we will not be held back with what Christ called us to do.
Self-indulgence is the opposite, from eating a pound of chocolate at once or partying your way to oblivion. Too much excess will leave you empty and alone, it will at best cause us to gain a lot of weight and lose your friends and at worst lose your life and miss out on our heavenly reward! Self-indulgence seeks what is fleeting when we as a Christian are made for eternity.
Self-Control as the fruit of the Spirit is of great important in Christian life. For without self-control we would not be able to become good ambassadors of Christ. If we don’t have self-control we will die and be lost because of the folly, our lives might become just defenseless city with broken-down walls, we can easily fall prey to temptations, adultery, fornication, and sensualists, quarrels or drunkards which may result in loosing the joy of our salvation which has been given to us through the precious sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus.
I guess of all the nine fruits of the Spirit, “self-control” is the one with which we might feel the greatest sense of unease.
Defining Self-control:
THE GREEK WORD IS “EGKRATEIA" {eng-krat’-i-ah}
1. It comes from the word "kratos" (strength), and means "one holding himself in" (ROBERTSON)
2. THAYER defines it as: "the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites"
3. MACKNIGHT adds the thought: "Where this virtue subsists, temptation can have little influence."
Immediately, then, we can see why this virtue is so necessary in overcoming the "works of the flesh" (such as fornication and outbursts of wrath, Galatians 5: 19,20)
Fundamentally, self-control is the ability or power to rule or regulate one’s personal life so that we are neither driven nor dominated, as the apostle John puts it, by the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, or the pride of life (1 John 2: 16; see also Galatians 5: 19-21). These three, passion, pleasure, and pride, are those forces in the heart of man that energize his behavior patterns. It is to these inner forces that Satan and a fallen world appeal in order to promote a way of life that seeks to exist apart from God. The essence of such self-regulation is the ability to delay or refuse an impulse in the service of biblical truth, values, beliefs, and objectives.
Self-control means to be in control of one’s attitudes or thought processes, desires or passions, and patterns or habits so they do not dictate one’s behavior. Speaking scripturally, self-control is a matter of the control of the self-life from within by spiritual means, i.e., by God’s weapons of spiritual warfare as described in the Word of God (2 Cor. 10: 3-5; Eph. 6: 10-18; Col. 2: 20-23).
God’s reasoning for our Self-control ~
1. Why is it necessary for us to pursue Self-control?
The word is Greek not Hebrew, it doesn’t occur in the Jewish scriptures. Neither does it appear in the gospels. But only appears in the NT epistles. The NT has three major purposes for its inclusion.
(a) Self Discipline: In 1 Corinthians apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:25. “Everyone who competes in the games practices enkrateia” They go into strict training. The athletes in the Corinthian games discipline their bodies. They do it to obtain a laurel wreath and the adulation of the crowds. How much more then, says Paul, should we be willing to discipline ourselves in order to obtain a heavenly crown. And in particular, how much more should we be willing to become like a Gentile for the Gentiles or like a Jew to the Jews, how much more should we be willing to control our attitudes to contentious issues like eating meat, if by those means we win people for the sake of the gospel. Godly self-discipline or self-control will be needed if we are to overcome the cultural barriers that might otherwise prove a serious impediment to sharing the gospel. We will need to do things and adopt behavior that we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves, if we are to get alongside those who live differently from ourselves. Self-control is needed for the greater good of evangelism. That’s the Bible’s first use of this word enkratia – self-control for a greater good.
(b) Stands in the way of Fruit of the Flesh: Self-control is sometimes presented as a virtue in its own right. That’s the case in Galatians where it is given as the ninth fruit of the Spirit. Notice how the sequence runs. Well, I expect after nine weeks you know these fruits off by heart. The first fruit of the Spirit is ‘love’. As Paul says a few verses earlier: “the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” Love is the crowning virtue. The next 7 virtues are all beautiful lyrical-sounding qualities. “Joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness.” Against all those, “self-control” can sound a bit pedestrian, so practical, so earthy. And perhaps it is. But of all the nine fruits it is the one which speaks most directly against the list of vices which Paul has set out in the previous few verses: “immorality, impurity, debauchery, fits of rage.” The person who has no self-control will, in practice, struggle to express any of the other fruits in a meaningful way. His or her life is continually at risk of being undermined by some indiscretion or foolishness or scandal. So self-control belongs appropriately as the last of the list of fruits, as the practical means that the Spirit gives to enable a believer to live a holy and righteous life. Self-control then, as a virtue in its own right.
© Consequence of our faith in Christ: Thirdly, self-control is sometimes presented as a consequence of faith in Jesus Christ. A good example of this is Acts 24:24-25 where Paul is presenting the gospel to the Roman Governor Felix, and we read: “Paul spoke about faith in Jesus Christ and about righteousness and self-control.” Under the New Covenant, Christian believers have the law written not upon stone tablets but upon our hearts. We are given the gift of the Spirit, which strengthens us to keep God’s commandments. In apostle Paul’s case, he believed he had been quite explicitly given the gift of celibacy for his traveling ministry. Self-control arises as a gift and consequence of a relationship with Jesus and the presence of his indwelling Spirit.
We might say, in summary, that self-control is the act of agreeing with the Holy Spirit by bringing my actions into line with his guidance.” Or as Richard Foster puts it: “self-control is the way of disciplined grace”.
Illustration: In a department store a young husband was minding the baby while his wife was making a purchase. The infant was wailing, but the father seemed quite controlled and unperturbed as he quietly said, “Easy now, Albert, control your temper.” A woman passing by remarked, “Sir, I must congratulate you! You seem to know just how to speak to a baby.” “Baby nothing!” came the reply. “MY name is Albert!”
Proverbs 25:28 – “Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.”
2. How can we pursue to induct Self-control in our daily lives?
(a) When Possible, Avoid Temptation
We can’t always avoid exposure to sin. "I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world" (1 Corinthians 5: 9-10). Since we can’t avoid every sinful influence, we must learn to live in the world without allowing sin to have a negative impact on us.
It’s important for us to avoid temptation, thereby decreasing the pressure to turn away from God.
"Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15: 33).
"But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil (1 Thessalonians 5: 21-22).
We greatly decrease temptation by associating with good people.
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to avoid exposure to everything that’s sinful.
In such instances, we must be strong enough to control our thoughts, so we’re not tempted.
(b) Are You In Control OR The Holy Spirit?
As Christians, we have the ability to control our thoughts, in obedience to God’s commands.
"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth" (Colossians 3: 2).
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things" (Philippians 4: 8).
The problem occurs when we don’t control our thoughts.
"But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death" (James 1: 14-15). When we associate with worldly people and we’re exposed to sinful behaviors, we must control our thoughts so we’re not tempted. Paul wrote in Galatians 5: 16, “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Can we allow the Holy Spirit to control our thoughts & action?
© Don’t look back
If we are to grow in the area of self-control, we can’t let our past mistakes persuade us that we will never live an overcoming life. Some let their failures paralyze them and they quit trying. Perhaps they tried getting a college education but didn’t make it; or they had what they thought was a good marriage, but it failed; or they applied for a certain job but were rejected; or they sinned and feel they will never be in relationship with god again. In Christ we can put our past behind us. Paul said, “One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.” [Philippians 3: 13 – 14]
If we constantly look back to our failures or the times we didn’t accomplish a goal, we will let discouragement come into our lives and won’t have the will to try again. We can learn from our mistakes and become better people because we have grown, but we must not let ourselves get stuck in the past. Many have tried to quit a destructive habit, get their anger under control, or develop a discipline only to fail over and over. As Christians we have an advantage. We can pray, seeking God’s forgiveness for sinful behavior and asking Him for ways to overcome our habits. We can “forget what is behind” and go after the goal.
(d) Feelings to be ignored
Emotions and positive feelings certainly add spice to life, but many people depend on their feelings to determine what kind of day they are going to have or whether they should buy something they desire. At times, however, feelings can deceive us.
• To be more self-controlled than allow our feelings to rule us.
• Advertisements aimed at our emotions can convince us to buy something we don’t really need.
• Falling in and out of love depends on our feelings and our good and bad days depend on happenings around us. We may have improper feelings that urge us to do something that is physically, mentally or spiritually harmful. Temptation feeds on our feelings and this where we must win the battle against sin and behavior that can push our lives out of control. Paul wrote in Titus 2: 11 – 12, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,”
• Another way to control moods and desires is by carefully choosing the company we keep. Paul cautioned in 1 Corinthians 15: 33, “Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits."
(e) Enslave Yourself to Righteousness & Abhor Evil
We make ourselves slaves of sin or slaves of righteousness.
"Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness? But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness" (Romans 6: 16-18). As slaves of righteousness, we present ourselves to God for obedience. Thus, we make a conscious decision to focus our attention on God rather than sin. As slaves of righteousness, we abhor sin and abstain from every form of it (Romans 12: 9; 1 Thessalonians 5: 22). We’re not tempted by things we abhor. We’re so repulsed by them; we don’t want anything to do with them.
Illustration: If you abhor homosexuality, you won’t be tempted to commit homosexual acts.
If you abhor murder, you won’t be tempted to murder.
If you abhor stealing, you won’t be tempted to steal.
If our attitude toward sin is proper, we’ll control ourselves in respect to sin.
(f) Set Your Mind on Things Above
As slaves of righteousness, we seek the things above, setting our minds on the things above, not on the things that are on earth (Colossians 3: 1-2).
Therefore we "consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry" (Colossians 3: 5).
Since we consider ourselves dead to sin, we don’t lust for sinful things. As a result, we control our thoughts and avoid temptation.
Illustration: A young lady and young man come to school dressed immodestly. When we see them, we ignore their licentious behavior rather than dwelling of sinful things. The way they dress has no impact upon us.
3. What are the devastating consequences for the lack of Self-control?
Another motivation for self-control that must never be ignored involves the law of the harvest. Simply put, we reap according to what we sow. There are always consequences to our behavior. To ignore this truth is to be deceived or extremely foolish. Paul states the principle succinctly:
Galatians 6: 7-9 Do not be deceived. God will not be made a fool. For a person will reap what he sows, 8 because the person who sows to his own flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit. 9 So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.
There is a great subtlety here. Remember that the term subtle refers to that which is so slight as to be difficult to detect or recognize. As such, this subtlety in relation to the consequences to sin can be very deceiving for those who do not live soberly or sensibly in the light of the principles and promises of Scripture. The subtle deception of the consequences of sin is seen in the preacher’s statement in Ecclesiastes 8: 11-12. 11 Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed quickly, therefore the hearts of the sons of men among them are given fully to do evil. 12 Although a sinner does evil a hundred times and may lengthen his life, still I know that it will be well for those who fear God, who fear Him openly.
Illustration: If a man defies the law of gravity by jumping from the San Francisco Bridge, he will immediately experience the result with a plunge to his death. The deceptive subtlety is in the fact that the consequences of sinful behavior patterns are not as immediately obvious as they are when we defy the law of gravity. When one breaks spiritual laws, there are definite consequences that go into effect though the results are often not so immediately obvious.
Those who do not control their appetites, as in the use of wine, often end up wasting their lives and resources. The apostle Paul warns us about this in Ephesians 5: 18, “And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled (controlled) by the Spirit. “Debauchery,” is a translation of the Greek term asotia. Asotia refers to one who cannot save or deliver himself (absence of control) and thus ends up squandering his life’s resources (physical, spiritual, emotional, financial, and social). The prodigal son in Luke 15: 11f is the classic biblical illustration.
What does the term “random” bring to mind? The word means, “Having no specific pattern, purpose, or objective.” “At random” means to be without a governing design, method, or purpose.” This is exactly the way much of the world lives. From a biblical perspective, people’s lives are random, out of control, lacking in God’s design and purpose to guide and bring control and meaning to life.
In his commentary on 1 Peter 1: 13, my good friend, Bob Deffinbaugh has a comment that illustrates this random mentality of our society:
Perhaps you have seen “The Dead Poet’s Society,” a movie my wife and I saw some time ago. As I recall, a translated Latin phrase, “Seize the moment!” became the philosophy of a group of college students. “Seize the moment!” aptly characterizes the spirit of our age; it also betrays the absence of the most vital element of hope. Sadly, our “now generation” has become the “hopeless generation.”
If the inner forces or energies that operate within us, even the God-given desires, are not harnessed and brought under control via God’s designs and values, they will invariably do serious damage and leave us at best empty and at their worst, devastated and in despair. British statesman Edmund Burke argued,
…men are qualified for civil liberty in exact proportion to their disposition to put moral chains on their own appetites. Society cannot exist meaningfully unless a controlling power upon man’s appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within, the more there is without. It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things that men of intemperate minds cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters.
Regarding the consequences of a lack of self-control, we have the sober warnings of Scripture:
1 Timothy 6: 7-10 “For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith, and pierced themselves with many a pang.”
Titus 3: 3 “For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.”
Conclusion: We should avoid sin whenever possible. But we live in the world, and it’s impossible to avoid all exposure to sin. As Christians, we control our thoughts and avoid temptation by enslaving ourselves to righteousness, abhorring evil, and setting our minds on things above, considering ourselves dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed.
1. As one cooperates with God in the doing of His Will, self-control will be a natural by-product (i.e., evidence that one is walking in the Spirit)
2. We cannot overestimate the importance of developing "self-control" in our lives...
a. Without it, we cannot defeat the temptations that come our way
b. Without it, we cannot overcome the works of the flesh
c. Without it, we cannot grow as we should in Christ
d. Without it, we cannot bear the fruit of the Spirit!
3. Yet in Christ we have every reason, every motivation, to develop the virtue of "self-control"
a. We have been set free from the dominion of sin
b. We have the aid of God through His indwelling Spirit
c. We even have the assurance of forgiveness when we fall (1 John 1: 9), knowing that as long as we are willing to repent and try again, there is help from God!
The key question is, "Do we trust the Lord to help us, enough so to walk by faith and do His Will?"
I hope that in some small way I have encouraged you to "walk in the Spirit", and NOT to "fulfill the lust of the flesh". The over-riding reason for doing so is found in Paul’s own words: "If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit" (Galatians 5: 25)
In truth, by the "washing of regeneration and renewing of the Spirit"(Titus 3: 5) God saved us and caused us to be "born again of the water and the Spirit" (John 3: 5). Since in our baptism God has made us alive by the Spirit of God, shouldn’t we seek to walk in such a way so as to produce the fruit of the Spirit in our lives?
