“Here Comes the Bride!”
(Genesis 2:18-25)
Pastor Sean Harder
November 2, 2008
Let me start with a brief true story called “Head of Household”.
Irritated by the 1971 Canadian census form defining the husband as the Head of the household, I wrote in the space marked Householder comments: “In this family my husband and I definitely share the household equally, and I wish to register my complaint at your archaic wording.”
Several days later, when I checked over the form before mailing it, I found to my chagrin that my husband had penned the following after my note: “Statements made by the employees do not necessarily reflect the position of management,” and signed it Head of the Household.
Well, today we are going to see God create the woman from Adam’s own body, and I think today we get good insight into God’s design for marriage.
I. The Purpose of the Bride (v. 18)
A. Accompaniment (v. 18a)
So for some reason God decides that man should not be alone. This wasn’t like an oops, I said it was very good but I missed this on thing. Remember this is the second creation account in Genesis. In Genesis 1 God already said that he created them male and female and said it was very good after that. He created them both on the sixth day and this is just a more detailed description of how He did it. See Eccles 4:7-11 about being alone.
B. Assistance (v. 18b)
The phrase “suitable helper” has often been misunderstood, and used to support a distorted view of marriage. Helper here is `ezer, and means “a support,” “a helper,” or “an assistant.” It does not imply subordination, because the same word is used to describe God as man’s helper. The concept strongly supports equality of women. Only one who is “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” and thus fully shares the human identity, could possibly meet anyone’s deeper needs. In its original conception, then, marriage was the union of equals, each respecting as well as caring for the other, and each committed to be the other’s helper.
I will make a helper suitable for him; a help like him, one of the same nature and the same rank of beings; or a help near him, one to cohabit with him, and to be always at hand; a help before him, one that he should look upon with pleasure and delight. Note then that in our best state in this world we have need of one another’s help; for we are members one of another, and the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of thee. We must therefore be glad to receive help from others, and give help to others, at every opportunity. (2.) It is God only who perfectly knows our wants, and is perfectly able to supply them all. In him alone our help is, and from him are all our helpers. (3.) A suitable wife is a help-meet, or meeter of needs, and is from the Lord. The relationship is then likely to be comfortable when likeness directs and determines the choice, and mutual helpfulness is the constant desire. Codependency is not a disorder as I was taught in the counseling field, it is God’s design. But when we take advantage of someone’s desire to meet our needs and don’t have a heart of reciprocation or appreciation, misery is created.
A helper fit for him means: corresponding to or like him. Adam made no complaints or ever said he needed or wanted a helper. This was God’s decision and the woman was a gift. Adam was fully satisfied with God being his companion and it should be noted that it is in this context that God gives him another companion to share this relationship with. Many single folks are looking for a spouse to make them happy. Notice here, Adam was completely content with God, then was given a partner.
No person can fill this void, and I strongly recommend that those of you who are single get to the place of contentment without a spouse, then often miraculously, God will present one to you. Having a strong relationship with God puts us in a place of entering relationships to meet other’s needs, not to have our needs met. This is a paradox I saw so often as a counselor, that when we get into relationships to meet other’s needs and don’t even think of our own, that’s when our’s get met as well. But when we are seeking a spouse to fill us up, we are often disappointed and then pull back from wanting to meet their needs, and the relationship dies.
Eve was not given as Adam’s servant. In fact man is made from dirt and she is not. God made us equal, but he also gave us specific roles that would honor God.
II. The Preparation of the Groom (vv 19-20)
Why did God get Adam to name everything before He made the woman? So that she wouldn’t hold things up by taking so long to make up her mind. Kind of like shopping. Most commentators believe it was God giving Adam a lesson in leadership. Remember the naming of things was very important and indicated authority.
So Adam names all the animals in less than a day, is this possible? Remember that he was not fallen yet, and I believe that man had the capability then, that he will again have in the resurrected body, unlimited by time and space, and the ability to do things at the speed of thought.
Even if this isn’t the case, we can assume that not every kind of animal on earth was in this specific location, so many believe he just named the animals that were nearby. Notice fish, insects, and crawling things are not mentioned, the passage only mentions beasts of the field and birds of the air.
God says He wanted to see what Adam called them because this was the first act of dominion that man was given, the animals couldn’t name themselves. Again we see the difference between humans and animals. So it was not only leadership training, it was also the first evaluation. Some suggest that this may have been the origin of human language as well.
III. The Provision of the Bride (vv 21-22)
A. Her Construction from the Man (vv 21-22a)
What is the meaning of rib? Literally, a curve in the side. A lovely Jewish tradition notes that God did not take Eve from Adam’s foot, lest he try to dominate her, or from his head, lest she see herself as above him. Instead God took Eve from Adam’s rib, that the two might go through life side by side. From his side indicates partnership. God built her for him, from him.
I couldn’t help thinking of how after Christ “slept” on the cross, His side was pierced and from it His bride the Church was birthed.
B. Her Presentation to the Man (v. 22b)
He brought her to the man just as a father presents his daughter to the groom at a wedding. She is literally a gift for him.
IV. The Proclamation of the Groom (v. 23)
A. It Reveals His Responsibility (v.23a)
The woman or wife is literally here, his body. Later in Ephesians 5 men are commanded to love their wives as there own body. Earlier we learned that we’re all descendents of the same parents and therefore actually family, and now we see that our wives are literally our own body and should be treated as such. Do you see how this goes against the notion that men are supposed to have physical power over their wives. That is not what this or any other Scripture means.
B. It Reveals His Authority (v. 23b)
And yet man is given the authority in the marriage relationship. Adam named the woman and there are a few verses in the New Testament that confirm this. This is not culturally popular because it has been misunderstood and taken out of context.
The dreaded Ephesians 5 says that a wife’s duty is to submit to her husband as to the Lord, and the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. Do you see the reciprocal nature hear. In fact which looks more difficult? How did Christ love the church - complete sacrifice. Paul calls this all a profound mystery, how the marriage relationship parallels the relationship between Christ and the church. Christ is considered the groom and the church His bride.
Many people miss verse 21 in Ephesians 5 because it is before a subheading in most Bibles. Here, before it says wives submit to your husbands, it says submit to one another out of reverence for the Lord. “There is no male or female, Jew nor Greek, slave or master, for we are all one in Christ Jesus” Gal 3:28
Did you ever hear the word “husband” explained? It means literally “the band of the house,” the support of it, the person who keeps it together, as a band keeps together a
bail of wheat. There are many married men who are not husbands, because they are not the band of the house. Truly, in many cases, the wife is the husband; far more often it is she who, by her prudence, and thrift, and economy, keeps the house together.
The married man who, by his habits, strips his house of all comfort, is not a husband; in a legal sense he is, but in no other; for he is not a house-band; instead of keeping things together, he scatters them. And now let’s see whether the word “wife” has a lesson too. It literally means a weaver. A weaver brings and keeps a family together with loving care. The weaver gives comfort and brings a sense of togetherness to the family meeting the relational needs of each thread in the family.
Submit: is a very complex Greek word coming from three different words, literally “to place under in an orderly manner” or to subordinate. Do you want to know one of the biggest reasons for the decline of Christianity in the western world? Men have stopped being leaders in the home and in spiritual matters. Intelligent design doesn’t just mean the physical makeup of things but also God’s social design.
Much of this has come from men abusing their power and causing women to react out of self-protection. But both men and women have lost their God given roles, relationships are in chaos, and by looking to the world we have no idea how we are supposed to be.
C. It Reveals Their Equality (v. 23c)
Woman is from man so she is also equal to man in the image of God.
In verse 24 we see that man is to “hold fast” to his wife. What does hold fast or (cleave) mean? Impinge, cling to, adhere. Interestingly a figurative meaning of the Hebrew word is to follow close to or pursue. There is almost a note of dependence on his wife here. This is backed up today by the fact married men live longer, are happier than single men, and tend to not do very well in older age without their wife. God’s design.
V. The Principles for all Future Brides and Grooms (vv. 24-25)
A. Family Autonomy (v. 24a)
The man is to leave his parents and take care of his wife, or be the protective authority in her life, basically be willing to die for her. It is also implied that the woman would do the same. There is probably also a suggestion here for parents to “butt out” of their children’s marriage. So marriage becomes the first human institution, and as there are no children in the world yet, it is safe to say that this was God’s ideal arrangement for the raising of children. The second principle is:
B. Marital Fidelity (v. 24b)
We go back to the “hold fast”, “cleave to”, “adhere to” each other. If indeed we have become one flesh with our spouse, what are the implications of sharing that with another person. Think about it, does it not mean that we are taking our spouse with us as we unite with another. Can you see the absolute emotional devastation that this could cause in our spouse? We are in essence allowing another flesh to pollute the one flesh we have created with our spouse. So…
C. Physical Unity (v. 24c)
Is also so important. Like Christ we are one with each other as He is with the Father. That is why He could not sin. Not that he didn’t have the ability, remember He was fully human. But because he was fully committed to and one with the Father, he could not do anything that would hurt the Father, without hurting Himself. When we cheat on a spouse, we do great damage to ourselves as well as devastating them. As the bride of Christ, the church can do the same. In fact the church was often called a prostitute, in God’s eyes.
I think one flesh also alludes to the fact of creating children through this physical union. We together make one flesh out of each of us. And just a note, homosexuals cannot do this.
D. Relational Intimacy (v. 25)
What is the significance of “they were naked and not ashamed” (also translated as “not be disappointed”)? There are two different versions of the word naked (in Gen 2 to be exposed) in Gen 3 to be nude. It wasn’t so much about physical nakedness but about the exposure of their nature. After the fall they tried to cover up because their nature had changed (more about this when we talk about the fall). Not like they saw each other and all the sudden were ashamed of their bodies.
Think of it in terms of innocence. A child freely runs naked in front of everybody when young, what happens as we get older? Do we not just get taught that it is wrong to run around naked in front of people. If there was still moral innocence in the world, would we have bothered with clothes? In verse 25 God is saying they were innocent, completely exposed and OK with it, nothing to hide.
God made humans to be in families, and he expected the husband to be the spiritual leader as Christ is the leader of the church. Haven’t we let both of these slide? Are men leading in the home, is Christ leading the church or are we?
What happens when we go against God’s design, or men and women fail to live up to their spiritual responsibilities? The church suffers and society suffers. Are men being sacrificial servants in their community, family, and church? Are wives encouraging husbands to lead and lifting them up, or just being critical and taking it on themselves because it’s easier than nagging? Are husbands leading in a way that their wives can be at ease and support them? Are we emotionally naked with our wives? And are they respectful when we are?
Men do we deserve respect, especially spiritually in our family. Have you earned the right to lead in your family? Can your wife relax and depend on your decisions because are constantly in communion with God and seeking his wisdom? Does she see you reading the Bible often? Women do we deserve the love that our husbands are commanded to give. Would your husband lay down his life for you, or does he just want you off his back and can’t wait to get out of the house?
We are going to see that even Adam rejected his role and instead of getting in the way of Satan and protecting his family, which would soon be the entire human race, he basically said “yes dear”, what’s the big deal anyway, and the whole human race paid forever. You can’t lead by following. Parents, don’t ever think that your children will not pay for your sin. When you allow Satan access to your family, it is tough to get him out.
