How to live the Christian life
How to have joy in our life - Part 1 of 12
Philippians 1:3-11
Today we start a new series on Philippians. The Apostle Paul in his second missionary journey established this church. The first convert was Lydia. Lydia was a seller of purple goods from the Asian city of Thyatira. She became a fervent believer and was baptized.
Just like our day, there were evil spirits that wanted to keep this work from progressing. Paul had exorcised the spirit of a slave girl. He was publicly beaten and thrown into prison.
Whenever God leads the leaders to a new thing – to a Holy Spirit directed ministry, there will be opposition. Jesus faced it and so did Paul. So will you.
By AD 61 Paul wrote this book from prison in Rome.
In this book were going to learn about what drove Paul – we will get insight into his heart. We will get insight into how he dealt with opposition.
Philippians is a practical letter. It deals with a lot of the problems in life that we all face. Most of all Philippians is a positive book. In spite or being in jail the words "joy" or "rejoice" or "be glad" are used seventeen different times in this book.
I’m calling this series "How to live the Christian life." It deals with how to live the Christian life in spite of circumstances and problems. It tells us how to be joyful even though people do things we do not like, we cannot control, and that were not very excited about.
In the first chapter, Paul starts right off talking about people. If relationships are bad, life stinks. Make no mistake about it – Paul longed for Spirit filled churches and did not see them in his lifetime. So be careful when we say we want to be like the early church.
If relationships are strained, life is difficult. If relationships are strained in the local church then were not focused on prayer, the baptismal tank is dry, and the leaders are being questioned. If you have problems with people it kills the joy in your life. How many would say ‘you got that right.’
Satan is behind all destruction of relationships. Satan is behind all dissension in the church. It is not from God. Satan is behind all dissension in families. God hates dissension (Prov. 6:16-19).
I remember as a young man watching my three sister’s marriages end in divorce. I watched my little nieces and nephews crying for their daddies that were not there to tuck them in at night. Life can throw us a curve ball, but God wants us to enjoy the people in our lives right through our stresses.
So how do we overcome? How do we have joy despite trials?
Peter Drucker, the father of American management, said that the number one characteristic of a CEO, of a leader, is that they enjoy other people.
Do you enjoy the people around you? Do you enjoy those you work with? Do you enjoy your brothers and sisters in Jesus even if they disappoint you? Do you enjoy your spouse that you’re married to, even if they do not see things your way? How about the people in your family, who think you have gone off the deep end because you go to church? The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 9:9, "Husbands [men] enjoy life with your wife whom you love."
Are your relationships more a matter of endurance than enjoyment? We don’t really enjoy the people in our lives, we tolerate them, and we put up with them. We endure them.
What does it take to enjoy the people in your life? What will it take to enjoy the people in our church? Paul gives us four keys:
1. Be grateful for the good in people. V. 3. "I thank my God every time I remember you."
Paul chose to believe the best about people. He said I like to remember the good things about people. I will focus on the good times we’ve had, remember the positive experiences. What do you remember about a brother or sister? The good experiences or the bad experiences.
When Paul said this he was stressed in Philippi. Acts 16 tells us the background of this story. When he went to Philippi he was arrested illegally, whipped, humiliated, thrown in prison. While in prison there was an earthquake. He was asked to leave town.
So how do you like that? You go there to plant a church, to help the people, and they want to gather up a posse and ask you to leave. That happened to Paul over and over.
Focus on the Family Canada website reports that churches that have fired their last pastor have a 70% probability of firing their next one. Not a good statistic. It happened to Paul. They did not want to follow him.
Yet he says, when I think of you I remember the good things. "I thank God every time I remember you."
So what are you going to focus on? He chose not to remember the painful and he focused on the things he could be grateful for.
Some of you have some hurts and disappointments in relationships and this church. You’re still holding onto that hurt. As a result you have little joy today. When you focus on the negative you will miss all the good things the Holy Spirit is doing. You become a prisoner. You’re a prisoner of your own mind. Jesus said blessed are those who are not offended.”
Be grateful for the good in people. Pleasant memories are a choice. I can choose what I’m going to remember about the past.
Sometimes some people have been treated brutally by a spouse or parent or someone in a church. There is not much there to be thankful for. Then let’s focus on someone else and ask God to heal those broken relationships.
LESSON #1: Remember the best, forget the rest.
Do not deny the hurts you’ve had. That is psychologically unhealthy. But focus on the good and choose to emphasize the strengths.
I hear wives say "He’s a good man, but ...” Anytime you hear "but" it means the emphasis is on the negative not the positive. Be grateful for what you’ve got! Mr. Perfect does not exist!
There is no perfect Christian. There is no perfect pastor. There is no perfect church. So be thankful. Paul says in everything give thanks. He does not say to give thanks for everything but to be thankful while you go through it.
This week I wrote on the computer the things I am thankful for about this church. I came up with ________________ items.
2. The second key is be thankful for peoples loyalty. Paul appreciated people’s loyalty. V. 5: "You have helped me from the very first day until now."
I am so thankful for the loyalty of many people around me. My wife Evy, totally loyal. There would be no ministry in my life if it were not for her; she has been there for me every step of the way,
Many in this church have been loyal; our prayer supporters, the deacons and their wives, the worship leaders, the PowerPoint technicians, those who prepare bulletins and administrative things, the children’s ministry workers, Vacation Bible School helpers, Youth Workers, Noah’s Ark helpers, Home Group leaders, door greeters, our missionaries, those who support the ministry financially (1 Co. 15:58). So thank you so much.
Who has been loyal to you? Have you thanked them? There is nothing earth shattering about their lives but they are there for you.
You know who your true friends are when you’re going through a tough time. They come to lift you up. They protect you. They believe in you.
You ought to appreciate that!
If you want to enjoy others, you’ve got to focus on their strengths and not their weaknesses. With some people it takes a lot of creativity. But you can find something good in everybody.
3. Practice positive praying. V. 4: "In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."
How would you like to have the apostle Paul praying for you? Would that encourage you? It would be encouraging because he prayed for people with joy. When we pray here at 8:30 AM Sundays were praying with joy. Come and join us and you will be encouraged.
LESSON #2: The quickest way to change a relationship from bad to good is to start thanking God in prayer for people.
Here is the bottom line. Pray for someone in this church every day for the next seven days.
This will do two things: change your attitude and change them. I guarantee it. It will also change the way we see things. It is so easy to become prideful and right. When we are not praying with God’s people we will not see things from God’s perspective. Then were angry at them but the Bible says mans anger will not achieve the righteousness of God.
Positive praying is much more powerful than positive thinking. Here is why I believe the number one thing this church needs is prayer, personal and corporate revival.
People may resist my advice. They may spurn my appeals, They may reject my leadership. They may choose to not listen to what I say, but they are powerless against my prayers.
Most of us are good at praying in a crisis but on a normal basis what do you pray? God, bless them? Be specific in your prayers. God bring 15 people out for Igntion. God bring us four new baptisms. God reveal to Randy what to preach on. The more specific you are in prayer the more specific you get an answer.
Paul spells out specifically what he’s praying for people. V. 9- 11 "And this is my prayer, that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God."
Four things Paul prayed for other people. You can pray these this week for that one person. This prayer will be answered because it is God’s will. They are in the Bible.
1. Pray that they will grow in love. “This is not an option. We are to abound in love ..." it means to overflow, like a tidal wave. Pray that they will love more today than yesterday. Don’t take it for granted. Pray that your children will love one another. Pray that you will love your spouse more and more. Pray that our faith community will abound in love. A lot of people have fears about the church. The Bible says that perfect love casts out fear.
2. Pray that they make wise choices. "... Discern what is best..." Pray for the leaders in this church for wise decisions. Pray that we make wise choices in our strategies. Pray for your children. Start praying right now for their future spouses. Pray for the young people: that they will stop listening to ungodly music, horrible perverted movies and books. Pray for yourself in that regard.
3. Pray that they will do the right thing. "... Be pure and blameless..." and have a clear conscious. Pray that we become a church that not only says the right things but does the right things. If we say were going to live godly lives and do not do it, that is hypocrisy. That is a double life. Everyone is watching us; lots of little eyes. Be careful what you put on Facebook. You are Jesus representative.
4. Pray that they will live for God’s glory. "... Positive praying is that the person will put Christian principles into practice to bring honor to God.
God gave you children so that they can live to His glory. Why do you want a good marriage and family? You should think about that. Why do we strive for that? Is it just to make life easier? Is it just to reduce our stress level? No. God wants your family to be Christ centred, spirit filled so that this world will see the spiritual changes in your life and bring glory to God (Eph. 5:8).
What is Paul saying here? Pray for others and yourself that you will live as if Jesus is right there with you, because He is. If someone was to look at your life and evaluate it, really look for evidence of being a Christian, what would they see? So pray and begin to live for God’s glory.
4. Be patient with their progress. Paul looked at people’s future and not just at their past. He looked at their potential and was patient with their progress. V. 6: Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Have you ever started a project and abandoned it. God finishes everything he starts. What God started in your life at salvation He will be faithful to bring it to completion – just persevere.
Mankind is a great starter but a bad finisher. Man leaves unfinished buildings, books, projects, and marriages.
God, unlike man, always finishes what He starts. God did not make a moose with three legs. I know you hunters wish He did. He does not leave a baby to be an infant. He made a complete universe. He finishes everything and says “It is good." The Bible says when Jesus Christ starts working in your life He will complete what He started. Your role is to keep persevering.
In spite of my faults, my bad decisions, my sins, all those times I was stubborn in my marriage, with my kids, with you, in spite of all the circumstances that I face in life God is going to finish what He started in my life. I am counting on it because God is not like man. He fulfills all His promises.
Stop looking at the troubles. When we look at our troubles were looking horizontally. God say don’t do that, look up (2nd Co. 4:16-18).
The Bible says that one day when you get to Heaven you’re going to become just like Jesus because you will see Him as He is. And that’s the goal. God starts what He finishes. You can count on it. God is there for you.
Lesson #3: God is not finished with people.
We need to be patient with people’s progress. A Christian life takes time to bear fruit and a Christian church takes time to bear fruit. So be patient (1st Thess. 5:14).
The Holy Spirit is about to do a new thing at Calvary. This week I was the most discouraged I have been in 2.5 years here. But I know God develops our character through the hard times. The Holy Spirit will develop our character in the church. : Let’s not block the Spirit of God.
At one church in Calgary the Spirit of God was moving in the youth. They had a lock in, an all nighter in the building. Three hundred youth showed up. Now when you get three hundred highs schoolers things can go wrong (ketchup on the walls). The old guard complained and down went that one. Do not give up too quickly. I am still grieved about that. Those were kids that were eternally lost. They exasperated the very people doing the ministry. Choose to be an encourager.
So the Holy Spirit says do not give up too quickly (Gal. 6:9).. We need all of you on the team.
This is a very important principle, both personally and as a church. It is amazing to me that some churches fight and argue over minor differences; then people leave or the church splits. They have not forgiven one another and yet they ask God to bless their lives and churches. And we wonder why the church struggles.
Have patience and grace for one another’s differences. Not everyone believes exactly the same as I do but so what? I still need to love them and accept them.
I thank God I am not the man I used to be. I thank God I am not the man I’m going to be. I’m growing and changing."
In your marriage, if you want to enjoy your marriage, you’ve got to learn to enjoy your husband or your wife right now while allowing for growth and development.
At this church, if you really want to have joy, you must learn to allow for my growth and development. You may have noticed, I have not arrived. If your expectations are too high your setting yourself up for a fall.
As a pastor I cannot meet all your expectations so relax. I told you that before I came. If you carry offense you will become a prisoner.
If you do that you will always be unhappy. By the time the person meets your high expectations then you will have still another condition for them to meet. That is why you have despair instead of expectancy or hope.
To enjoy your spouse you must forgive them. To enjoy your church you must forgive. It is not an option. Unforgiveness leads to division and bitterness. That is right, when you harbor unforgiveness you will become bitter, you will become a prisoner (Hebrews 12:15).
If you demand perfection of the people in your life in order to enjoy them you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life. Because you cannot change another person. That is God’s job. God says you love them and let me change them. Confronting them in anger usually backfires.
Nobody’s perfect, God knows it and loves them. God is patient and so we need to be also. We need to enjoy the people in our lives.
Paul enjoyed the good things, practiced positive praying and prayed with joy and for specific things in their life.
If your feeling upset with another person start praying for them – that person who irritates you at work, that person in your home, that person in the church, and see what happens to your attitude. Then be patient with their progress because life is a matter of growth.
John 1:12 "To them he gave the power to become the sons of God." The Christian life is a process. We’re all becoming something beautiful, we’re all growing. To enjoy people, you’ve got to enjoy them in the process, not when they’ve arrived.
V. 6: "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Circle "confident". Paul believed in God’s power to change the human personality. Paul believed that no person was hopeless. He never gave up on people. This is a great promise of God. Claim it for your kids, for your mate, for yourself and for this church.
I want you to turn to someone right now and say ‘God is making a Rembrandt out of you.’
Paul is talking about faith. Faith is expecting the best from other people. There’s tremendous power in faith. The common mistake is we tend to judge people on the basis of how far they have to go rather than how far they have come.
4. Love people from the heart. I’ve discovered that if people are not on my heart, they’re on my nerves. If your kids teacher is on your nerves pray for them. If your spouse is on your nerves then pray for them.
The reason so many marriages are crumbling is that mates are reacting to each other from their mind rather than their heart. When your wife says, "I feel depressed" listen to her; it’s legitimate. Listen to me men! I know what I am talking about. Stop trying to solve all your wives issues. Every time she says something you don’t need to give her a three point sermon. Were fixers as men. She just wants you to listen to her; to empathize with her, understand her.
Stop trying to play God and control people. Let it go. Just love them and pray for them.
Wives, when your husband says, "I don’t feel this is the right thing we ought to do." Listen to him. Listening and loving from the heart hears the hurt behind the words.
When the leaders of this church feel this is a change the church needs to make listen to them. Otherwise you will kill your joy right off (Christian Service Brigade versus Awana – God’s anointed leader).
Heart love begins with understanding, knowing why they feel that way. Why does the guy at work act like such a jerk? Maybe you don’t know the background he grew up in. Maybe he’s way better than he used to be ten years ago.
I asked a miner; I said what it will take to reach these miners for Jesus. He looked at me and said love. They have grown up in terrible home environments; they need to see God’s love. Jesus wept over Jerusalem because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So what is the last time you wept, really hurt for someone. Hear the hurt, look for the problems.
The Apostle says stop complaining and be part of the solution. Philippians 2:14-15 (NLT) ‘In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. Let your lives shine brightly before them.
How do our lives shine brightly to others? When we stop arguing and complaining.
You cannot love someone your angry with. Offenses will reveal the weaknesses and breaking point in our lves. Often the point where we think we are strong is our place of hidden weakness. It will remain hidden until a powerful storm blows away the cover.
Bevere also says ‘God always looks to point out what is in our best interest. What may look like a disappointment to us will always turn out for out good if we do not lose faith. God is love; there is no selfishness or evil in Him. It is Satan who desires to destroy us.”
So do not carry offence and choose to love, choose to think the best about someone.
You cannot love someone you don’t understand. Understanding them makes it easy (or easier). Try to understand why someone acts the way they do. If you care, you’ll be aware.
If I really desire to love someone I will seek to understand them. By asking questions and then listening. But then the other side is this – God appointed and gave you leaders. Let them lead. The sheep are not supposed to lead; they are supposed to follow. Paul loved the people. We do love each of you.
V.8: "God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus." Circle "affection". In Greek the word "affection" is the word for "intestines". King James translates this "bowels". In Greek society, the Greeks thought that the seat of the emotions was in your stomach, your liver, and your internal organs.
Paul would say, "I’ve got a gut feeling of love for you." It is intensive love that makes me love even the unlovely. That is not a natural kind of love. It is a supernatural kind of love and that’s why Paul said it’s not from himself, but it’s the affection of Christ Jesus. Human love wears out and dries up and dies on the vine. This happens to everybody.
Human love says if you do not meet my expectations I will not love you.
The only kind of love that lasts and lasts in spite of heartache and difficulty in tough circumstances is God’s love -- the affection of Jesus Christ. That’s the only kind of love that lasts.
Romans 5:5 "God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God’s gift to us." (Story of Cory Ten Boom – how she forgave this soldier).
Life is too short to not enjoy the people in your life and church. If you don’t learn to enjoy the people that God has placed around you in your life you will be miserable. People will rob your joy unless you learn how to respond to them the way Jesus did.
LESSON #4: The secret of enjoying the people in my life is to be filled with God’s love.
The way you do this is being thankful and praying for those around you. Make a prayer list with specific requests you’re praying for.
Who do you need to start loving from the heart not the head?
Paul started this church; he was the founding pastor. He had these people in his heart. The word in the Bible which means "enjoying other people" is the word "fellowship". That’s what it’s all about -- enjoying your family, your church. When you really love each other, that’s what fellowship is all about.
It is one of the five purposes of our church. Purpose number two were taking about, Maturity, really growing up. Enjoying the people in my life, enjoying the people in our church, is God’s plan. Spiritual Maturity is being like Christ.
Real maturity is blessing the people God brought into my life despite our differences. Our church is full of little eyes. This area is full of un-churched people who are watching you. The Holy Spirit will give you the power and strength to love someone with a divine love if you ask Him.
The question I have for you today is will you?
