Opening illustration: There is a story of a corporal at Valley Forge who was directing three men as they tried to lift a log into place. It was too heavy, but the corporal commanded again and again, “All right, men, one, two, three, lift!” A man in an overcoat came by and said to the corporal, ‘Why don’t you help them?” The corporal pulled himself up to full height and replied, “Sir, I am a corporal.” Without a word the man stepped over and with his help the log went easily into place. The man was George Washington.
Gentleness includes true humility that does not consider itself too good or too exalted for humble tasks. Let us look at God’s Word and see what it tells us about the FOS ~ Gentleness.
Introduction: Gentleness (Proverbs 15:1; Isaiah 40:11; 42:2-3; Philippians 4: 5; Matthew 5:5; 11:29; 12:15; Ephesians 4:1-2; Col. 3:16; 2 Timothy 2:24; 1 Thessalonians 2:7); is the character that will show humility, calmness, personal care, tenderness and the Love of Christ in meeting the needs of others. It is to be more than just a personality; it is to be who we are from the work of the Spirit within us.
Roughness and violence are the opposite! When we have the mindset to just see what we can get out of life and make a name for ourselves we miss out on what is best for our benefit. Then it causes us to run over others and we end up being like the men who built the Tower of Babel (Genesis 11:1-9). Their downfall was not the building project but the pride and arrogance. To seek significance outside of glorifying God by their achievements alone, ignoring God’s love, care, plan, and providence for a cheap and temporary substitute.
Defining Gentleness
Old Testament: (`anah; epieikeia, chrestotes): In 2 Samuel 22: 36 `anah, "to bend low," "to condescend," is translated "gentleness," "Thy gentleness hath made me great," the Revised Version, margin "or condescension"; so also Psalm 18: 35, where the word is `anwah "humility," "gentleness," or "condescension."
New Testament: The eighth quality which serves to constitute the fruit of the Spirit is "gentleness" ("meekness" in the KJV)
• The Greek word is prautes {prah-ot’-ace}
• This is a difficult word to define, for there really is no English word that corresponds to the Greek
• Also, while "meekness" is a good attempt to translate the word...
(i) There is a common misconception about the meaning of "meekness" itself
(ii) It is often used to suggest a form of cowardice and weakness, but there is no such idea in the Greek word "prautes"
The word “gentleness” comes from the Greek word, “prautes”. A better English word may be “meekness.” Meekness does not mean weakness, as we will see in the Scripture. Meekness to the world and by Webster’s definition is to be “too submissive – spiritless.” What an irony that the world sees meekness or gentleness as spiritless, when it is a gift of the Holy Spirit, direct from the throne of God! Gentleness is a submissive and teachable attitude toward God and His purpose and plan for all that He has created, this coming with full joy, trust, and confidence in God’s will. We live in excited expectation for whatever He has planned, no matter how it shall affect us. With that knowledge, we in turn, submit our will to God in everyday life so that others see the fruits of the Holy Spirit in us. [Greek, prautes, ‘humble gentleness’]
1. How can Gentleness help us form better relationships?
(a) People who always have a better idea OR challenge our opinion:
2 Timothy 2: 25 says, “in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth,”
When we are around people who seem to constantly disagree with us, we may become defensive, we may turn quiet and unresponsive, or we may give a controlled response. A controlled response is not defensive, nor is it passive. It is a thought-out, rational reply to opposition. There are times when we simply give a calm verbal reply to someone’s challenge. Other times the situation lends itself to a very strong but controlled response because it is the only thing that will be effective.
It has always been intriguing when Jesus entered the temple are and drove out all those who were buying and selling there as stated in Matthew 21: 12. His statement to the merchants was, ‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it a ‘den of robbers.’ (v.13). Because of the serious nature of the situation, strong action was required. Jesus did not react impulsively; He knew exactly what He was doing.
• People were being exploited in the name of religion [Is it happening even today ~ pastors charging money for praying, donations required for healing etc.]
• People were being distracted from worshiping God [The noise of business vendors and the hustle bustle did not let the people worship God in the Spirit]
When gentleness rules our lives, we won’t run because we are frightened or respond angrily because we are insecure. Instead, we will be controlled and aware of the proper timing. Proverbs 15: 1 tells us, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” We can choose to respond with a soft, gentle answer or to be just as tough as the person who made the comment. If we are gentle, the tension will likely dissolve. A harsh reply, on the other hand, will be like pouring gasoline on fire. Gentleness chooses the right response. If a strong response is called for, it is thought out, appropriate and sensitive to the proper timing – strength filled with tenderness.
(b) People who correct us:
Proverbs 4:13 says, “Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life.”
How do you respond to people who advise you, correct you, or criticize something you have said or done? Next time it happens, listen to yourself and try to evaluate how you feel. One way I sense if persons are mature in the faith and have grown in the area of gentleness is by watching their response when I advise or correct them. Those who are strong in gentleness are not defensive, nor do they become angry. Rather, the opposite happens; they are grateful for the word of correction. Even when we receive unjustified criticism our response must be guided by gentleness – strength under control. You may feel like snapping back at the one who criticizes you, but instead you must control your feelings and words.
Proverbs 13: 18 says, “Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction, But he who regards a rebuke will be honored.”
Proverbs 12: 1 says, “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid.”
Correction is sometimes difficult to accept, especially when the person giving it uses harsh words or a sharp tone of voice. Nevertheless, correction is necessary in all of our lives and we would be wise to welcome it.
Fathers: Colossians 3: 21 “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
Wives: 1 Peter 3: 4 “rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
Children: Colossians 3: 20 “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.”
To keep peace in the home, we need to “be completely humble and gentle” [Ephesians 4: 2]. Perhaps the most important decision we make – many times each day – is to let gentleness rule our emotions and words.
© People who let us down:
1 Peter 3:9 says, “not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”
When someone has disappointed or failed you, have you been tempted to give that person a piece of your mind? Probably all of us have had that feeling ~ remember it is of the flesh not the Spirit of God in us.
Jesus told Peter at the end of the gospel of John to feed the lambs & sheep ~ that is to take care of His people. How to bring about correction to your employees if you are a boss somewhere? In your conversation compliment them and then speak to the person as gently as possible suggesting the things needed correction.
God is merciful (gentle) with us and believes in us. When we fail Him, He does not reject us but perhaps says something like Steve said to Stu, “I know your heart. I know that’s not you. I know that you want to live for Christ and His reputation … If it would be helpful to you, I’ll sit beside you.”
2. How can Gentleness help us respond in unexpected situations?
(a) Gentleness restores:
Galatians 6: 1 says, “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.”
Illustration: Drunk man on the plane to Wayde as he puts his bag in the overhead compartment of the plane. “If that bag falls on me, I’m going to rip your head off.”
(b) Gentleness protects us:
Psalm 18: 35 says, “You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.”
Proverbs 15: 1 tells us, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Illustration: A certain pastor would hear young preachers in the congregation, and if he thought some had a preaching gift he would visit their wives and he would say, "Now he is a lovely preacher but there is just this little habit which is a bit annoying. You tell him, because you’re his wife and he’ll listen to you." Again, consider William Carey, amongst the greatest of all missionaries. He set sail for India in 1793 and there he remained until his death in 1834. Forty years of labor far from home. There in India he buried his mentally disturbed wife, and there he translated Scriptures into eleven different tongues. When he died he had these words inscribed on his gravestone, "A wretched, poor and helpless worm, On Thy kind arms I fall." Carey’s meekness was one of the causes of all his achievements. He knew all his ability and hope of completing what he had begun came from God. Can we be persuaded of that? Can the students believe that the Christian Union will have success in bringing Christ to the University only if they remain meek and gentle people?
3. How to cultivate Gentleness in our lives?
In our world of ‘say what you feel,’ we are encouraged to give people a mouthful of words that will put them in their place or make our point. If you want to grow in gentleness, television is not a good venue to imitate, for today’s programming is full of people screaming at, cussing out, and threatening people in their families or in other relationships. In fact television may be a major contributor to much of the hostility we see and read about.
Jesus said, “Come to me … for I am gentle.” [Matthew 11: 28 – 29]
(a) Meek towards God: When He tests our faith, we should not act as children who start screaming and kicking because they are disciplined. Think of it this way:
Likewise, people who are meek are open to the Lord’s leading, guidance, and direction. Those who are meek are under the control and discipline of God. And those who aren’t meek are not under the instruction of the Lord.
(b) Meek and gentle before God in our worship: Sadly, sometimes worship is anything but this. Too many times worship is self-centered rather than God-centered.
Songs and special music are a very important element in worship. Yet, there is a trend for hymn books to have more and more songs about me and my feelings rather than about God and His glory. And, in some churches special music becomes a time to showcase someone’s talent. And more and more times applause is expected and even demanded for special music numbers. I ask where is the fruit of the Spirit called meekness?
Testimonies can be very effective for bringing souls to Christ. But I have been in more than one worship service in which testimonies have been used by people to talk about "me." When they are used this way, Christ is no longer lifted up and the fruit of gentleness and meekness is gone.
Prayer is an important part of worship. But how many times don’t our prayers and requests focus on ourselves and our needs rather than on God’s glory and praise? When that happens there is no gentleness and meekness.
© Meek and gentle towards our spouse and children: There is no place in marriage for a husband to rule over his wife with an iron fist controlling everything about her and concerning her. There is no place in a marriage for a wife to scheme and plot revenge and retribution for every wrong and selfish act done by her husband. There is no place in the home for parental abuse or neglect of children. Rather, in all our relationships we are to be meek and gentle, tender, and loving.
I remember the time I was on my way to the hospital to visit someone. Her hospital stay was the consequence of sin in her life. I was wondering and praying about what to say to her.
On the way I saw a sign that read, "High Tech, Gentle Touch." That sums up the care we all want to get from our health-care professionals: in the hospital, the doctor’s office, the dentist’s chair, the eye doctor.
It occurred to me this is the kind of care I should be giving to the woman and her family. I am High Tech when it comes to computers and email and web-sites and Bible programs. But I also need to show a Gentle Touch.
(d) Meek about ourselves: The person who is meek is not always watching himself and his own interests. She is not always on the defensive. He is not overly sensitive. Furthermore, she also doesn’t blow her own horn. He doesn’t think more highly of himself than he should. Meekness and gentleness means we recognize that without the Lord no one amounts to anything and in our strength we can’t please Him.
Illustration: John Flavel points out that when the corn is nearly ripe it bows the head and stoops lower than when it was green. There is no sadder sight than an older man who has failed to attain the grace of meekness and gentleness. You excuse it in a young Christian. The corn is yet green, but when the people of God are near ripe for heaven then their meekness and gentleness must be striking. A phrase written in an obituary almost 35 years ago by Professor John Murray has always stuck in my memory. I went to an old copy of a Banner of Truth magazine recently and read again his striking testimony to his colleague Professor Edward J. Young: "In the last few years before retirement from my work at the Seminary, I was deeply impressed by the evidence my friend gave of the maturing fruit of the Spirit. But little did I think that he was being rapidly prepared for the immediate presence of the Savior whom he loved and whose glory he delighted to proclaim" (Banner of Truth, Number 54, March 1968, p.1). Paul had one foot in heaven when he called himself the chief of sinners and least of all saints. I appeal to you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ to follow his example.
Conclusion: Gentleness is not being weak, as with meekness, gentleness is strength under control. It allows us to be tender, just think how big and vast and powerful God is who is bigger than the universe, who transcends space and time way beyond our comprehension. Yet, He treats us with the utmost of tenderness and care. Knowing gentleness is trusting that God will take care of justice, thus we need to think correctly about who God is and who we are in Him. This understanding of His sovereignty, doctrine and control will move us from the hurriedness of life and the cruelty that goes with it to take the time with relationships, growth because we are at peace with God.
Gentleness allows us to be caring and nurturing to others. It helps us stay calm and not escalate problems or push people’s buttons! To build others up, by allowing them to grow. It places the other first, it is being selfless. As attracting people to you who could use a listening ear or help, at the very least to hear and the most important thing we can do for others is offering our friendship. When we are too full of pride, we cannot be gentle with others; we cannot be a friend, for all we will do is hurt them and push them away. We can look to Jesus who modeled ultimate gentleness and care. Being fully God He does not have to be gentle, yet He takes to time to nurture others even when they make mistakes and fail. He helps them up and puts them back together; He will do this with you too. But you have to allow Him to form you. This character must continue to function in a society that does not see its importance, care for perceived limitations or think it is weak. But when others need an ear to listen they do not go to the ones filled with pride they go to someone who is gentle! Will that be you?
Remember; what come into your mind when you think about God tells a lot about you, perhaps the most important thing!
