-The world has this text all wrong
-Usually when I read this passage of Scripture I see strange looks on the faces of many
-Usually the face of the bride is most upset
-I think that people imagine themselves as children wrestling with their older brother who has them in a compromising position, demanding that they say “uncle”.
-That is not what this passage is talking about
-Perhaps having the definition of submit might help us
-According to Dictionary.com, the word “submit” means “to give over or yield to the power or authority of another”
-This is something that one does willingly and lovingly
-There was a church body who was meeting a few years ago at their national convention. They decided that it was important to affirm by a vote that wives must submit to their husbands. What they failed to realize is that the most difficult portion of this text is the next line, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”.
-Unfortunately, that church body did not go to the lengths to affirm that portion of Scripture.
-How much did Christ love the church?
-That’s right; He gave all of Himself for the sake of the church.
-He was willing to die for the church.
-Gentlemen, don’t freak out on me. Most of the time, God doesn’t call us to ACTUALLY die for our wives but we are called to give of ourselves. To put the needs of our wife above our own needs.
-As I tell the guys going through premarital counseling, if you make your wife feel like your princess, she will make you a very happy man.
-If you actually figure out what makes your spouse feel loved the most and do those things, you get the most bang for the buck.
-If you recall, we talked about the book the Five Love Languages. They five are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
-When I was going to seminary, not long after my wife and I were married, my wife was teaching at the time so I actually had more time than she did. Every Friday, I would clean the house, do the laundry and every night I would do the dishes.
-After a few months, my wife said that I didn’t love her. I told her that I did and that’s why I was doing at that stuff but she didn’t feel loved.
-Then I read the book and asked her what her love language was. She said, “words of affirmation and receiving gifts.” All she wanted from me was to tell her, “I love you” every day and buy her flowers every month or so.
-That was a lot easier than cleaning the house and doing the laundry.
-Now, I still help clean the house and do the laundry but I do those things to help make our house run not to show her that I love her.
-I do the things that let her know that I care about her.
-There will be times, when you might not want to do those things or your own love tank runs empty.
-That’s when God’s love for us kicks in. That’s why it is important to go to church.
-I shared with y’all the divorce statistics for people in different groups. If you live together before you get married, it is 80%. If you get married by a justice of the peace it is 60%. If you go to church regularly, it is 40%. If you got to church and pray together regularly with your spouse, it is 20%. If you go to church, pray and read the Bible with your spouse, it is .1%. A little less than 1 in 1000.
-So if you want to affair-proof and divorce-proof your marriage, what do you think you want to do?
-You see, it isn’t fool proof because people still do stupid things that’s why you need to remove the “D” word from your vocabulary. Divorce can’t be an option for you if you can’t get along.
-What do you do if you can’t get along with someone in your shop? You have to work it out.
-It’s the same way in marriage.
-Billy Graham’s wife was asked if she ever thought about divorce. In all their years of marriage she said that she never once thought about divorce, murder yes but never divorce.
-You have to remove it as an option. People jump out of marriage too easily. They run into a few issues and they run home to momma.
-Does God run out on you when you don’t do what He wants? Neither do you run out on your spouse when you disagree.
-People disagree, people fight. That is to be expected. You are different people from different families. You should disagree. You can even be upset. The Bible says, “Be angry but do not sin.” It is what you say when you are angry that gets you into trouble.
-Keep communicating about issues when they come up.
-My wife and I disagreed about a subject for six years before we can to an agreement. We didn’t give up. We kept talking about it.
-And when you hurt one another’s feelings and you will. Apologize. That goes for both of you. In every argument there is culpability on both sides. Say, “I’m sorry” and “You’re forgiven.”
-Don’t say, “It’s okay.” If it’s worth apologizing over than it needs to be forgiven.
-When your ability to forgiven runs low, turn toward Jesus, the one who has forgiven you more than you’ll have to forgive anyone else.
-Because he submitted Himself to the Father and took our punishment for our sins, we can submit ourselves to Him and to one another, knowing that God, in the end, will make everything right.
