Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself
Matthew 22:34-40
October 5, 2008
NOTE: THE ME/WE/GOD/YOU/WE FORMAT IS FROM ANDY STANLEY’S BOOK, "COMMUNICATING FOR A CHANGE."
Me: I recently discovered the website, “Classmates.com.”
It’s actually been around a while, and most of you have maybe seen their advertisements on the web.
I’m not sure why I finally went there, but saw that membership was free and I joined up a week or so ago.
I was surprised to see that a number of people I went to high school with are there, and so I tried to contact them.
That’s when I found out that to interact with these folks, you have to buy a membership for a modest price.
I’m probably going to do that, because quite honestly, I need to mend some fences.
When I was in high school, I was a rather selfish and self-centered person. I hurt people.
To be quite honest, I didn’t know I was selfish. I didn’t know I had hurt people until someone told me about some of it in college. And by that time I had lost touch with those folks.
It wasn’t until I had been a Christian for a few years that I really started seeing how things I had done in the past had caused others to be hurt.
I was not a very loving person, at least as it concerned certain people in my life.
And so I’m hoping that when I get into contact with some of these people, they’ll see that I’ve grown up a bit over the last 20+ years since high school. Even if I haven’t grown any taller since then…
We: All of us can think of people in our lives that have hurt us.
And if you think hard enough, I’m guessing that most, if not all of us here today can think of those that we have hurt.
Maybe it was unintentional. Maybe it was totally intentional. But you hurt someone, and as you look back on it, you feel the regret for that. Or at least I hope you do.
So what can we do to avoid hurting others like that in the future? What does the Bible say about treating others the way we should?
What are some practical actions we can take to show others that they are important to God and to us?
What can we do to honor the family of God in how we treat other family members and therefore, honor God Himself?
God: The passage of Scripture that forms the base of what I want to discuss with you today is found in Matthew 22:34-40 (p. 699) –
34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
37 Jesus replied: "’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ’Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Two weeks ago we talked about the first commandment and how that is most important relationship we can have and maintain.
It’s the vertical relationship.
Today we’re talking about the horizontal relationships around us. The people in our lives. Your neighbor isn’t just the person living closest to you on your block. Your neighbor is really anyone you come into contact with.
The main lesson of this passage is that we are to love God with everything in us and love those around us as we’d want to be loved.
If you love God the way you should, then loving your neighbor the way you should becomes easier.
Loving God the way you should helps you become the best husband/wife, father/mother, boss, employee, friend, relative, pastor, board member, boyfriend/girlfriend, business owner, or whatever else you can think of that involves your interactions with other people.
But to help us get a handle on just how that needs to be lived out in our lives, I want us to look at some other passages of Scripture that clue us in just what it means to love our neighbor as ourselves.
You: If I were to sum up everything I was going to say today in one sentence about loving your neighbor as yourself it would be this:
Remember the Golden Rule.
Matthew 7:12 –
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
Ask yourself: “Is this the way I would want to be treated?”
If the answer is “yes,” then chances are good that it would be a blessing to someone else as well.
If the answer is “no,” then don’t do it. It’s that simple.
You would think that this is so basic that we wouldn’t have to talk about it, but you know what? The fact is that there are many who claim to be Christians, maybe for decades, who are so selfish and self-centered that it does damage to the Church and the cause of Christ around the world.
Here are some suggestions to help you get started.
This won’t be an exhaustive list of things we can do, but it should be enough to get you started.
1. Live at peace with others.
Romans 12:18 –
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Be intentional about getting along with others. Be intentional about making friends and being a friend.
Get rid of the attitude that says, “If you meet my personal standards, I’ll be nice to you and let you be my friend.”
That’s just flat-out snobbery and there’s no place for that in the Christian life, that’s for sure.
Be a peacemaker. Wouldn’t you know it – Jesus says that peacemakers are blessed!
If you’re aware of a damaged relationship, whether in your own life or another, try to do what you can to bring healing.
Closely related to this idea is the second one I want to look at today, and that is to…
2. Make forgiveness a priority.
I’m going to camp on this one awhile, because this is so absolutely important to a healthy life in Christ.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that it’s essential to a healthy life in Christ, because to withhold forgiveness is to be disobedient to Christ.
Matthew 6:14-15 –
“If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
If forgiveness is not a large part of your life, then you’re in for a world of hurt and bitterness.
If you need to ask someone for forgiveness, then do it – even if you don’t think they’ll forgive you.
If you are harboring something against someone, forgive them.
Refusing to forgive causes us to be bitter, angry, defensive, and all sorts of other things that are contrary to what the Scriptures says should be in the life of someone who claims to love and follow Jesus.
And that brings me to this next verse, from Colossians.
Colossians 3:13 –
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
You caught that last part, right? Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
You might be thinking, “They don’t deserve to be forgiven.” And you might be right.
But remember – Christ died so you could be forgiven. And you don’t deserve it, either. Nobody does.
But a person who calls themselves a Christian is supposed to be “Christ-like.” Withholding forgiveness is not Christlike.
I saw a story about woman who was bitten by a rabid dog, and it looked like she was going to die from rabies. The doctor told her to put her final affairs in order. So the woman took pen and paper, and began writing furiously. In fact she wrote and wrote and wrote. Finally the doctor said, "That sure is a long will you’re making." She snorted, "Will, nothing! I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite!" (Sermoncentral.com. Contribute by Russel Brownworth)
That’s not forgiveness, folks.
But let me suggest something else you might want to consider when you’re feelings are hurt or someone’s done something against you: just let it go.
Proverbs 19:11 –
A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Some things are just not worth getting worked up over. You need to overlook them. Easy? No. I didn’t say that. But it’s to your glory and your benefit to do so.
As I mentioned at the beginning of the message, there have been times when I have hurt people, and it was completely unintentional.
I’ll guarantee that you’ve done same thing to others. So maybe you need to cut them some slack and not assume they’re just out to hurt you on purpose.
Folks, you simply can’t live a fulfilling life in Christ or even outside of Christ if your life is filled with unforgiveness.
Not only is it bad for you spiritually, it’s bad for you physically. Unforgiveness and bitterness lead to more stress, and things like ulcers. And who wants that, especially when it can be avoided by obeying Jesus’ command to forgive?
Let’s look at a third way to love your neighbor as yourself:
3. Proactively look for ways to show love to others.
Galatians 6:10 –
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
It might be a meal for someone who’s just had a baby, or just got out of the hospital.
Maybe it’s a card to just tell someone you’ve been praying for them.
Maybe it’s caring for a loved one.
Lots of ways that you can show your love for someone in the name of Jesus. And you don’t have to wait for an invitation from that person.
You want to know a great way to help other people find Jesus without having to worry about finding “just the right words?”
Be kind and loving to folks, and if you’re given the opportunity, tell them it’s because it’s what you believe Jesus would want you to do for them. Then invite them to church or to some event where they can hear about Jesus.
Proactively look for opportunities to show your love for others.
Here’s a fourth way to love your neighbor as yourself:
4. Speak kindly to others and about them.
Here’s another one I’m going to camp on for a little bit, because the tongue can be a powerful weapon – both for and against someone.
And unless we engage our brains before we throw our tongues into gear, we’re apt to make some huge mistakes.
I remember when Senator Johnson made his first public appearance after suffering the brain hemorrhage. He said something like, “My brain works a bit faster than my mouth does – which gives me a bit of an advantage over some of my colleagues.”
If only that were the case for everyone!
It’s easy to criticize someone. Anyone can do it, and most everyone does, including me. I wish it weren’t so.
But one verse that has really helped me over the years is Ephesians 4:29 –
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Try becoming intentional about speaking positively about someone, especially behind their back.
Defend those who are being criticized behind their back. Remind the talkers that backbiting is not only rude, it’s a sin that Scripture takes seriously.
Again, would you want someone to criticize you behind your back? I’m guessing you’d be a bit miffed, upset, and hurt by that.
But you’re willing to do it to someone else? That’s being a hypocrite, friend.
Backbiting and gossip promote division among the family of God, and God says that is hateful to Him.
This is the source of most church splits, by the way. Someone decides they don’t like the pastor or someone else in the church, so they begin to talk behind their back, form coalitions against whoever it is they don’t like, and if they don’t get their way, leave the church and take others with them.
The Bible calls that sin, plain and simple.
But you bring blessing on yourself and others when you speak graciously to people and about people.
And here’s another way to love your neighbor as yourself:
5. Consider others as more important than yourself.
Philippians 2:3-4 –
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
This is really tough. It’s tough because no one likes to be considered to be less than someone else.
We’re told all the time that “it’s all about me.” And that’s just not true. It’s all about God, and when we get that perspective, it’s easier to see that after God, others need to come before ourselves.
It says, in humility consider others better than yourselves. You know what the opposite of humility is? Selfishness. You can’t be humble and selfish at the same time.
The words “selfish” and “Christian should never be in the same sentence.
“Selfish Christian” should be an oxymoron just like “pretty ugly,” “jumbo shrimp,” and “congressional budget cuts”…
One of the hallmarks of a follower of Jesus is our ability to be selfless – do die to ourselves and live for Christ and others.
So why are there so many selfish and self-centered Christians?
Because selfishness is the default position of life. And many Christians, in spite of the fact that the Holy Spirit lives in them, choose to live in that default position rather than make the effort to live the way Jesus commands us to live.
They decide that they don’t need to be transformed to be more like Jesus.
Sad, isn’t it? It’s not just sad to me, by the way. It breaks Jesus’ heart.
We: Last week I asked you some questions:
Can you imagine what would happen in each of our lives if we really got serious about loving God with everything in us – heart, soul, mind, and strength?
Can you imagine would happen in this church if we, as individuals, really got serious about loving God with everything in us – heart, soul, mind, and strength?
Can you imagine what would happen in Aberdeen and the surrounding area if the people in this church really got serious about loving God with everything in us – heart, soul, mind, and strength?
Let me ask you some similar questions today:
Can you imagine what would happen in each of our lives if we really got serious about loving our neighbors as ourselves?
Can you imagine would happen in this church if we, as individuals, really got serious about loving our neighbors as ourselves?
Can you imagine what would happen in Aberdeen and the surrounding area if the people in this church really got serious about loving our neighbors as ourselves?
I can imagine it. And I see it more and more here, especially over the last couple of years.
And because it’s happening more and more, I also see a couple other things:
- People who walk in the door for the first time will see people who genuinely love God, love others, and are quick to welcome them as guests, no matter what they look like, no matter their social status, no matter their background.
- People in our area will see that really living for Christ doesn’t fit the stereotypes of the media and the preconceived notions of those who have never checked out Christ for themselves, and because of that, they’ll become hungry for Jesus themselves.
And His kingdom will expand. And He will be glorified because of it.
So will you join me in becoming all the more intentional about loving your neighbor as yourself?
Let’s pray.
