Free to Forgive
I Introduction
This is a parable of forgiveness
If this were an allegory, each act of the King would be a statement about God
But our God does not condone selling into slavery or physical torture
Parables have a single message
The message of this parable tells us something important about God’s mercy
II Calculating forgiveness
I don’t know why, but I like Peter
Maybe it is because, like me, he always engages his mouth before operating his brain
He poses a question to Jesus, then suggests what he thinks is the best answer – 7 times
Was he exhibiting his human desire to impress the Boss?
Or perhaps practicing a little one-up-man ship on the other disciples?
You see Peter was used to the Old Testament law
The Biblical proof that this was correct was taken from Amos. In the opening chapters of Amos there is a series of condemnations on the various nations for three transgressions and for four (Am.1:3,6,9; Am.1:11,13; Am.2:1,4,6).
From this it was deduced that God’s forgiveness extends to three offenses and that he visits the sinner with punishment at the fourth.
It was not to be thought that a man could be more gracious than God, so forgiveness was limited to three times.
So Peter doubled that and added one more for good measure and thought this would really show Jesus that he was getting His message
Well guess what? Jesus said, “Not 7, but 77 times.”
Like us Peter thought there ought to be some limit to forgiveness
III Seeking and Receiving Forgiveness
What is forgiveness anyway?
In terms of human relationships, in the workplace, the neighborhood, the community or in the church it is reconciliation – a bringing together of differing views.
Then why is it so hard to forgive?
Because we can’t forget.
When someone makes fun of us, embarrasses us in public or, worse yet, causes us or a loved one physical or emotional harm we may find it impossible to forgive.
I recently realized that I had never forgiven a man who abused our youngest daughter when she was a child even though he has been dead for many years.
It caused her much suffering years later as an adult
As her parents, we felt her pain and our inability to help
I am not sure why I have not been able to forget and forgive this man
I have come to suspect that there are two reasons:
One is because he was a really annoying person and I never did like him much even though he was family by marriage
The other is because I contributed to our daughter’s pain and suffering by making a bad decision
At the time I chose not to confront him in order not to cause problems within our family
The part I can never forgive is the message my actions sent to our daughter, which was:
I do not love you enough to take a stand for you
I often wonder if that message was not actually her greatest source of pain
I am not sure if I will ever forget or forgive that man or myself
In a Bible study, Rev. Harold Davis once told us:
If you can’t forget it, you can’t forgive it
Forgiving is tough work
IV Denying Forgiveness
Have you ever been caught up in a situation in which wrongs were done and then wrongs were done in return so that the conflict continued?
Almost any church conflict or any conflict situation at all, is based on such behavior
As long as the blaming and the wrongs continue, the problem continues
Only when one side says “I’m sorry” and the other side says “I forgive you. Let’s start again,” can the conflict end.
Attempts at reconciliation often don’t work or don’t last.
Why is that?
One reason is that one or the other did not consider the reconciliation very real to begin with.
To them, it was only a truce until they gained an advantage rather than a genuine forgiveness of wrongs.
But the main reason is that we do not recognize or appreciate how far God had to come to forgive us.
Paul understood when he said: Christ died for us!
As long as nations, peoples, and individuals continue to return evil for evil, the chain of evil will continue.
Only forgiveness can break the chain.
V Extending genuine forgiveness
When we fail to extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us, we indicate that we did not get the message of this parable!
This parable is about God’s amazing grace!
God forgives us when we do not deserve it, and asks us to show the same spirit of compassion and forgiveness to others.
This parable reminds us that the church is a community called to reflect God’s forgiving mercy and the self-sacrificing love of Christ.
It is that love and that mercy that provide us with the incentive to forget and forgive.
When we can truly forget to hold a grudge, forgiveness has happened.
In his commentary on this parable, William Barclay has this to say:
It teaches that lesson which runs through all the New Testament--a man must forgive in order to be forgiven.
He who will not forgive his fellow men cannot hope that God will forgive him.
"Blessed are the merciful," said Jesus, "for they shall obtain mercy" (Matt.5:7).
No sooner had Jesus taught his Disciples his own prayer, than he went on to expand and explain one petition in it: "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matt.6:14-15).
Divine and human forgiveness go hand in hand.
Why should that be so, Barclay asks?
One of the great points in this parable is the contrast between the two debts.
In today’s terms it would be like the gross national product of the United States compared to my annual income.
The contrast between the debts is staggering.
The point is that nothing men can do to us can in any way compare with what we have done to God;
Nothing that we have to forgive can even faintly or remotely compare with what we have been forgiven.
We have been forgiven a debt which is beyond all paying--for the sin of man brought about the death of God’s own Son—
And, if that is so, we must forgive others as God has forgiven us, or we can never hope to find mercy.
What kind of behavior does God’s forgiveness demand of us?
It demands that we look at others through the eyes of mercy.
It demands that we learn to love with a love that goes beyond the problem that divides us from the “enemy”.
It demands that we let go of the burden of resentment and walk in love with others, forgiving and forgiven.
