iChoose
Pt. 1 – I Choose To Forgive
I. Introduction
Choosing may be the greatest power and privilege that we have as humans. It is this power that separates us from the Angels and animals. We are faced with multiplied thousands of choices during the course of our life. We face choices on a daily, minute by minute basis . . . what will I wear? Will I laugh at that? Will I respond? Will I ignore? Will I go? Will I stay? Regular or decaf?
You have to choose to choose.
For instance if you visited Sonic today you had a choice to make . . . what to get to drink? SONIC boasts 168,894 drink combinations and you had to make a decision.
If you went to Barnes and Nobel’s website you had to pick a book out of the 1 million books they stock (35 miles of shelving). They offer 15,000 publishers, 40,000 videos, and 1 million audio clips. How can that be? In the last reported year, 2005, there were 172,000 books published in USA that year.
As we examine Scripture you have to make a choice. How will I look at Scripture? You can examine Scripture as history. You can look at it for commentary on ancient culture. But one way that is never really mentioned is that you can choose to look at the Bible as a collection of people’s choices. Scripture is full of serious choices that had to be made. Noah had to choose to build an ark when it had never rained. Abram had to choose to leave his home on a faith journey. David had to choose to commit adultery. 3 Hebrew Children had to choose not to bow. Disciples had to choose to lay their nets down and follow. All tough choices. All similar to tough choices we have to make.
Where you will go to college? Leave your country?
Who you will marry and will you remain faithful? The balcony battle?
Stand up for what you believe in? Refusing to bow?
What career path you will choose? Laying your nets down?
We are faced with all kinds of choices easy choices, silly choices, meaningless choices, and life altering choices.
What I want to do over this month is talk to you about 4 life altering choices we must make. The reason I want to deal with these 4 areas is that these 4 areas have such huge and long lasting implications for every area of our lives and the in the lives of those we are in relationship with.
In these 4 areas I think too often we are like the man described in James 1:8 “8A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” A Double Minded man according to the same text in the Message Bible keep all of their options open, but they drift at sea. If we don’t make the right choices in these 4 areas we will be unstable in all of our ways.
I want to challenge you this morning to make the first choice. Choose to forgive.
One of the most crucial choices that we must make and more times than not fail to make is to choose to forgive.
Video – Antwone Fisher (Find your family - Available from WingClips.com)
Antwone Quenton Fisher was born in prison to a teenaged mother. He became a ward of the state of Ohio and was placed in foster care immediately. He spent two years in a loving foster home, but when it was apparent that the foster mother had become too attached to Antwone, deeming a reunion with his birth mother too difficult for the child, he was placed in a foster home where he would suffer twelve years of abuse at the hands of the foster family. He survived the cruelties of foster care and the brutalities of homelessness and set on a course of healing after joining the United States Navy where he served his country for eleven years.
Currently, Antwone works in Hollywood as a screenwriter, author and film producer. The film, Antwone Fisher, based on Fisher’s life and written by Fisher himself reflects on Fisher’s life as a sailor in the United States Navy and as a child growing up as a ward of the State of Ohio, living in Cleveland. Through his collection of poetry titled, Who Will Cry For The Little Boy?, a National Best Seller and now one of the bestselling books of poetry of all time, Fisher reveals the inner truths that took him from a tumultuous childhood to the man he is today.
The truth is that, although you may not have a movie made about your life, you will be hurt, you will be dealt a bad hand, and you will be wronged and offended. That is the fact of life. You may not have made the choices that created the pain or the hurt, but you do have a choice to make in the matter. Will you choose to forgive?
Why do I need to forgive? To free yourself. Forgiveness is a choice.
C.S. Lewis: “We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.”
Most of us are like the two little brothers, Harry and James. The boys had finished supper and were playing until bedtime. Somehow, Harry hit James with a stick, and tears and bitter words followed. Charges and accusations were still being exchanged as their mother prepared them for bed. She said, “Now boys, what would happen if either of you died tonight and you never had the opportunity again for forgive one another?” James spoke up, “Well, OK, I’ll forgive him tonight, but if we’re both alive in the morning, he’d better look out.”
I believe this is one of the most overlooked, ignored, and unresolved areas of our Christian walk. We are great grace receivers, but not very adept at giving grace. We walk around thinking when morning comes they better watch out! Each morning we relive the pain the hurt and fail to choose to forgive.
II. Jesus’ attack on unforgiveness
Jesus didn’t mince words about making the choice to forgive. In fact, he attacked unforgiveness head on. He attacked in his preaching, practice, and his people.
A. He did this in his preaching.
Matthew 18:21-35
21At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” 22Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven. 23“The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. 24As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. 25He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market. 26“The poor wretch threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ 27Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt. 28“The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, ‘Pay up. Now!’ 29“The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ 30But he wouldn’t do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. 31When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king. (By the way others notice when we are operating in and with a spirit of unforgiveness) 32“The king summoned the man and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. 33Shouldn’t you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?’ 34The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. 35And that’s exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn’t forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy.”
The Message Bible chooses to interpret his debt as a 100,000. However, in the King James the text says the servant owed the king ten thousand talents. A single silver talent represented about 6,000 days wages for the average Palestinian worker. In other words, this man owed the king about 60 million days wages or 240,000 years of labor. A person making $100 a day would have owed 6 Billion Dollars! While the other man was owed 100 pence from his fellow servant. A Pence equaled about a days wages. Therefore, this servant owed him about 100 days wages, which is nowhere near what he had owed the king.
Glaring unforgiveness. Forgotten grace breeds unforgiving living. We have been forgiven so much and yet we become petty and remember every wrong! We try to hold people hostage when we are the ones in chains.
But, didn’t you hear the loop hole? We only have to forgive when someone asks for mercy. The person I am mad at never asked for mercy! Jesus closes this loop hole when he is preaching His Sermon on the Mount.
He said in, Matthew 5:44 “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
And Matthew 6:14-15, “14In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. 15If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.”
No forgiveness asked for, but forgiveness required.
B. He did this in practice.
Jesus wasn’t a do as I say, but not as I do kind of guy. Jesus forgave time and time again. I could take you to the place where he chose to forgive arresting forces. His forgiving attitude was apparent when he cleaned up Peter’s misplaced sword swing and instead of striking the finishing blow he heals an ear. I could point you to the last moments of his life when he forgave a thief who hung next to him on the cross. Or I could prompt you to listen once again to the whispered prayer of “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” However, perhaps the greatest example of Jesus practicing forgiveness came when . . .
Jesus was walking with two men going to Emmaus. Their tone of voice and attitude betrayed their disappointment. Jesus questioned them as to what they were talking about. They couldn’t believe he didn’t know. He evidently was a stranger in the area and had not heard of any of the things that had gone on in the last few days. Christ asked, "What things?" He had been whipped beyond recognition. Slandered. Spit on. Thorns pushed into head. Nails. Crucified. And now he plays stupid? If I was Jesus I would have been like . . . yeah let me tell you how bad it was, you have no idea how bad this hurt, those stupid Romans, those mean Pharisees. I would have recounted each wrong, each injustice, and each lie. No, when faced with the issue, His response was a forgetting and forgiving spirit. Perhaps he had already removed the sins as far as the east is to the west. May we have this mindset.
C. He attacked unforgiveness in his people.
Peter asked how many times should I forgive? 7 times? Understand that Peter was already going above and beyond what is required. The theologians of that day only thought that God forgave three times. So 7 times was a huge step up. But Jesus attacks the attitude of unforgiveness or limited forgiveness and deals with multiplied grace. 70 x 7. Unrelenting grace. Unending forgiveness. He was saying in affect “Quit keeping score!” Just choose to forgive. Turn the other cheek!
III. Why Forgive
Why was forgiveness such a central theme in Jesus’ preaching and life? He knew the implications for us if we didn’t forgive.
A. Physical & Emotional:
There are physical and emotional effects if we choose not to forgive.
Did you know that Science has taken up what is called “Forgiveness Research”? They have discovered that unforgiveness has serious implications for us physically and emotionally.
One Stanford University found that unforgiveness or resentment causes high blood pressure and a faster heart rate which causes heart problems. And isn’t that unforgiveness is? A heart problem.
One doctor said, “It will affect your immune function and cardio function, your heart rate, your blood pressure; it will increase the stress hormone that causes the body to store fat."
So I helping you lose weight today. Go on a diet . . . get rid of unforgiveness.
Recently, a survey was made of 200 married adults in regards to forgiveness. The researchers were wondering how one’s ability to forgive others would affect their marital satisfaction and personal well-being. The results were astounding! This research suggests that there is a huge relationship between marriage satisfaction and forgiveness. In fact, it appears that as much as one third of marriage satisfaction is related to forgiveness. Not only does the ability to forgive impact the marriage relationship, it was significantly related to personal emotional distress. As forgiveness ability went up, individuals reported fewer
symptoms of depression, anxiety, and fatigue!
B. Spiritual:
1. Cuts off our forgiveness – Matthew 6; Mark 11– it is very clear that if we refuse to forgive we cannot be forgiven.
2. Cuts off answers. You are cut off from God – prayers are interrupted a barrier is established that must be dealt with - you can’t stay at the altar.
Matthew 5:23-24
23“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, 24abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.
3. Cut off those you love – this man is prosecuted for his lack of forgiveness and his wife & children were effected too! Who in your family is being imprisoned by your unforgiveness. If not for your sake for their sake choose to forgive!
4. Forgiveness is an act of faith.
"At last I understood: in the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy.
5. Forgiveness is a choice for freedom.
Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free. -- Stormie Omartian
Until you release them from prison you will remain in bondage. I told you late week that Jesus came to make us free. He can free our soul and we can choose to stay in jail. Did you know the only jail cell that Houdini ever failed to escape was the one that was unlocked? Our cell has been unlocked, but until we let go of unforgiveness we cannot escape.
IV. Close
Thomas A. Edison was working on a crazy contraption called a "light bulb" and it took a whole team of men 24 straight hours to put just one together. The story goes that when Edison was finished with one light bulb, he gave it to a young boy helper, who nervously carried it up the stairs. Step by step he cautiously watched his hands, obviously frightened of dropping such a priceless piece of work. You’ve probably guessed what happened by now; the poor young fellow dropped the bulb at the top of the stairs. It took the entire team of men twenty-four more hours to make another bulb. Finally, tired and ready for a break, Edison was ready to have his bulb carried up the stairs. He gave it to the same young boy who dropped the first one.
I am asking you to go back and think of the person who wronged you, hurt you, did you wrong – they may be here this morning – you may need to call them, or write them, but most assuredly you need to forgive them so that you can go free. Put the bulb back in their hands and take the chains off of yours.
Who do you need to choose to forgive? The mechanic who ripped you off. The friend who betrayed your trust. The lover who crushed your heart. The child who trampled over your prayers and dreams. The parent who raised a hand, but never revealed their heart. Perhaps it is a God who didn’t show up when you thought He should! Who didn’t answer when you needed Him too. Maybe it is you. Maybe you failed and let yourself down. Maybe guilt has wrecked your spirit. Do you need to forgive a word, a action, an attitude, an attack? Make the choice! You didn’t choose what happened, but you can choose to change the way that it impacts your life.
Prayers are blocked – except this one – help me to have enough faith, guts, grace to go to the person and lay the offense down. Don’t be bound by bitterness the rest of your life. Choose to forgive today!
