“Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Perfect Dad”
Genesis 48:9
Robert Kiyosaki (Ki yo sa ki) wrote a best selling book on finances called, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. It’s an awesome book I highly recommed, and I want to borrow part of his title.
Today I want us to observe fathers:
I. The Rich Dad.
When I speak of “Rich”, I’m not talking of material wealth. Some of the best fathers never had large amounts of money or possessions. I mean rich in a greater way. I’m speaking of men who did it right. Men who were “neck deep” in fatherhood. They “Manned up” & accepted their responsibility with reverence and a sense of Godly duty. These deserve respect.
Jacob, while he's known for his many mistakes, he modeled the “Rich Dad” in the parenting role. He loved his 12 boys. When Joseph was taken from him, Jacob never stopped grieving. His heart was broken. When he was finally reunited with Joseph after many years, the Bible describes it as one of the happiest days of his life. He learns he has 2 grandsons, and it's here, that I want you to notice some insights on parenting.
In Josephs' introduction of his sons to Jacob, their grandfather, notice these things ;
1.He Gives Positive Words of Validation.
“These are my sons whom God has given me”. It's easy to notice that Jacob speaks positively publickly of his sons. He recognizes they were blessings from God.
Every child needs to hear affirmation like this from their father!
God Himself modeled this when He spoke His blessing over Jesus at his baptism.
“This is my Son, whom I love, in him I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17)
I hope you never underestimate the message that it sends when you publicly introduce your children with pride and honor. It creates a sense of security in them.
Jacob, their Grandfather also gives the two boys his Blessing. “Bring them to me, I will bless them”
And He Gives the Gift of speaking over their lives and the gift of Meaningful Touch.
(Vs. 10) “Kissed them, embraced them”,
(Vs 14) “Stretched out his hand”.
The Patriachs Knew the Power of Public Blessing. It's one of the secrets of good parenting.
Jesus knew the power of the open, public blessing when He when modeled this same example in Mark 10:13, “the children wanted to touch Jesus, so He took them up in his arms and blessed them”
If you’re a father, you’re rich! God has blessed you with one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive, and I encourage you to take note of it. If you’ve been fortunate enough to have a great father, I hope you won't take them for granted.
II. The Poor Dads Effect should be Overcome.
I once asked men at a Men's conference to write down for me the type of father they had. What they felt, saw, learned, and experienced in from their father. I was shocked at how many men carried pain because of the wounds of a father. While girls will often speak of their poor dads, boy usually bury the hurt.
Over the Years, I've observed a few types of Poor Dads;
A. The Absent Male. Walked out/little contact. It creates a child who’ll battle rejection/fears, & needs acceptance.
B. The Abusive Male. Physical, verbally critical, and negative. You never measured up. No blessing was given. This creates a child with deep hurts, anger, and little trust in authority.
C. The Alpha Male. Threatened by another male in house. Fears being supplanted or replaced. In the animal world, some even kill their own children. One sign of this, is the man who is constantly nurtured by women, (mother, sisters, & wife). They can’t share attention and are highly jealous of a son.
This often creates a son who becomes an “over achiever”, successful, competitive, all in hopes of a fathers acceptance.
.
Illus. Winston Churchhill’s father was jealous of him. He couldn’t speak a kind word of him. Churchhill, the greatest leader of his day, was quoted in the book, “The Last Lion” as saying, “I would rather had been an apprentice for a brick layer, or run errands as a messenger boy, or dressed the windows in the local shops, if I could have had the support of my father.” His greatest enemy and critic was his own father. He never understood his jealousy”
D. The Anemic Male. He’s a weak male. He may play a “victim” role to find sympathy so the females around him will serve & nurse him.He's the man who never grew up. As a result, he often creates daughters who are attracted to weak men in relationship.
Illus. I often ask "which parent were did you want the blessing from the most"? and the answer is overwhelmingly the father. For most, they felt their mothers love was unconditional, but their fathers had to be constantly earned
So what do you do if you grew up with a "poor" dad?
1. Forgive them. Don’t get bitter. Doesn’t mean you’ll have a relationship, but it releases you & softens the pain.
2. Face Reality. They may never change. You hope for it, but it may not happen. If you face the truth, you can break it's power over you. Many of you may face the fact that it wasn't you after all that was the problem, it was a poor parent.
3. Form Great Relationships with your children. Since You know the importance of a Parenting now, break the cycle. Be better than they were!
III. The Perfect Dad is God.
One of God’s best known names for God, is Father. It’s a relationship name.
(2 Cor. 6:18) “I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters”
(Galatians 4:6) “And because you are sons, God has put His Holy Spirit in you, whereby you call Him Abba, Father” God longs to support, sustain & stand by you.
As a Perfect Father, God makes up for a lack and models what you may need as a father. He gives guidance, direction, strength, understanding, listens, encourages, forgives our failings & celebrates our successes.
That is the Perfect Father!
