INTRODUCTION
As you can tell from the title of the message, we are going to be looking at a tough subject today – one I prefer NOT to speak on – the relationship between HUSBANDS & WIVES. BUT before we dive in, I want to speak a moment on the attitude we need to bring –
JUST HOW IMPORTANT IS THE WORD OF GOD WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR MARRIAGE?
Does it matter what it says OR have you made up your mind on the success of your marriage?
SPEAKING OF THAT SUCCES-- Listen to the latest statistics…
1970-1994 Divorce rate quadrupled
1995 32% of all couples married ended in divorce.
1998 33% of all couples married ended in divorce tho marriage rate declined by 7%.
2005 38% of all marries ended in divorce – marriage rate declined by 9%
LET’S BE HONEST – WE DON’T HAVE TOO GOOD A TRACK RECORD!
YES – in looking at our text today, you may say, “Come on Pastor, today’s society is different”. YOU ARE RIGHT! We have so much more readily available information about sex and marriage than ever before! YET -- WE HAVE MORE MARITAL PROBLEMS AS WELL AS DIVORCE ever before! You are right – It’s different all right!
… Marriage is a 50/50 proposition –MARRIAGE IS A 100/100 PROPOSITION (– WE DON’T STAND A CHANCE.) Maybe the PROBLEM is the 50/50 mentality!
1. Marriage is ALL ABOUT SACRIFICE – FOLLOWING THE EXAMPLE OF CHRIST HIMSELF long ago. SUCCESS IS NOT based on WHAT YOU believe …
2. Marriage IS NOT about Balancing Things Out – but instead – ABOUT GIVING EVERYTHING YOU HAVE WITHOUT RESERVATION!
3. GOD HAS ALREADY DETERMINED THE NECESSARY INGREDIENTS! The question we need to consider is DO WE CARE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY?
LET’S APPROACH THIS TEXT CAREFULLY – leaving any selfish attitude behind.
1 PETER 3:1-7
I. THE EXAMPLE OF CHRIST (Vs. 1a, 7a)
1st to understand is that a in order for ANY MARRIAGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL, IT MUST BE BASED ON THE EXAMPLE OF JESUS CHRIST!
READ VS 1a & VS 7a – ‘in the same manner’ – ‘likewise’
READ 2:21-- As Jesus was “Submissive” to God & His will, so a Christian husband and wife are to follow his example.
EXAMPLE: Learning in life comes by way of imitation. Parents from grandparents; children from parents; Our role model is JESUS who SET THE MARK.
WHAT IS NECESSARY TO “FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE?”
1. Know Him as Savior
2. Daily Submit to Him as Lord
3. Spend constant time in His presence -- His Word, the Church, and Christian Friends
As JESUS followed GOD’s instruction SO WE are to follow HIS EXAMPLE doing the same!
II. WIVES – BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR HUSBANDS (Vs. 1-6)
Peter begins by reminding the WIFE of God’s ‘FORMULA FOR SUCCESS’!
READ 1a
‘SUBMISSION’: GRK – “hoop-ot-as’-so” – and means ‘to be subject unto another’
ORIG PHRASE: ‘Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands’
Every place ‘Eph 5.24, Col 3.18, 1 Cor. and here – the same instruction.
As PAUL in Ephesians was talking to both Christian Husband & Wife, here in PETER is talking about a saved spouse to an unsaved spouse.
He GIVES 3 REASONS – EVEN IF THE HUSBAND IS NOT SAVED
1. SUBMISSION is an Instruction from God (Vs. 1a)
God has commanded Submission because, in HIS WISDOM, He knew that in order for any marriage/family to be happy & fulfilling, there must be only one head. We all know that for the sake of order in any situation, there must be ‘headship’. In marriage, that headship has been commanded by God.
But NOT ‘DICTATORSHIP’ BUT rather ‘PARTNERSHIP’ -- God determined long ago that MARRIAGE JOINS TWO TOGETHER AS ONE! No Longer Yours or Mine but OURS (my money, my home, my my my etc.)
Gen. 2:24 ‘for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife AND THE TWO WILL BECOME ONE FLESH.”
We close the ceremony and ‘what God hath joined together let not man put asunder’ - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU?
2. SUBMISSION is an Opportunity - READ Vs. 1b-2
It is the character and conduct of a wife that will win a husband – not nagging.
Attitudes such as submission, understanding, love, kindness, and patience – Not qualities are manufactured by one’s personality but instead the fruits of the Spirit that only comes from Submission to Christ.
The point here is that in living through the fruit of God’s Spirit, HE is able TO WORK THROUGH US – THAT’S AN OPPORTUNITY – A PRIVILEGE! -- “without words”
MARJORIE GOFF in Goose Creek – Husband Kirston
A Woman Named ‘MONICA’: Monica, the mother of the famous St. Augustine. God used Monica’s witness and prayers to win both her son and her husband to Christ.
3. SUBMISSION is an Ornament of Beauty (Vs. 3-6) – don’t read yet.
Not only ‘an Instruction”, not only “an Opportunity” but Submission is also an Ornament of Beauty. In Roman culture, women would attempt to dazzle others by fancy clothes, ornaments, hair styles, and jewelry.
READ VS. 3-4
…not to impress from the latest fashions of the day but from the inner heart – where God lives! This isn’t to say that a wife should neglect herself.
DEBBIE -- ANY HUSBAND IS PROUD OF A WIFE WHO DRESSES UP FOR HIM??????
He uses an EXAMPLE: SARAH – ABRAHAM’S WIFE (READ VERSES 5 & 6)
As Abraham was the Father of all Male Descendants, so Sarah was the Mother of these Descendants.
SUBMISSION – An “Instruction” because it is God’s makeup of the home;
SUBMISSION – An “Opportunity” allowing God the freedom to develop of inner qualities
SUBMISSION – An “Ornament” – beauty from within
Not UGLY DICTATORSHIP guys – Not STOOL PIGEONS ladies. Has nothing to do with who does the finances or who disciplines the children,– ALL OF MARRIAGE IS A PARTNERSHIP.
So HUSBANDS, what does it mean to be THE HEAD OF THE HOME?
III. HUSBANDS – BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR WIVES - READ VERSE 7
This verse looks simple! In fact some you may look at it and simply see an act of consideration. But now it’s YOUR TIME to open up your hearts!
4 Areas of Responsibility (READ Verse 7)
1. Physical Needs – ‘live (dwell) with them’
An Understanding of the Needs of a Wife – Emotional and Physical. A CONSIDERATE MAN showing concern of his mate.
Next to God, your wife is to be the APPLE OF YOUR EYE! WE are not to be COUCH POTATOES but PARTNERS – HELPMATES.
2. Respect – ‘treat them with respect’ ‘giving honor to the wife’
READ Eph. 5.25-26
…a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church! Husbands are to love our wives with that same Sacrificial love.
(1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her.
(2) He should make her well-being a matter of his importance.
(3) He should care for his wife as he cares for his own body.
3. Emotional – ‘as the weaker vessel’ - Oops!
He is not saying a man is better than a woman but rather a reminder that a woman is more delicate, different emotionally. ONE HEARS a lot of JOKING … my OPINION for what it’s worth:
…a woman or wife that understands the role as God described and I’ll show YOU a WOMAN who understands loving others in a way that NO MAN WILL EVER be able to do.
A woman may be weaker partner physically but from the INSIDE, she is tender, compassionate, more giving – ONE ANY MAN COULD LEARN A LOT FROM!
“No wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her in the way being described.”
4. Spiritual – ‘that your prayers be not hindered’
Peter says that if you are not getting along as husband and wife, it will ruin your family spiritually, and there is no use praying together.
If you are fighting like cats and dogs, well, God just doesn’t hear cats and dogs. But when you are in agreement, you can pray together and your prayers will not be hindered.
SUMMARY
I would like to CLOSE adding one MORE word not mentioned in our text. In the Book of Genesis we are told that God made man, and at that time man was alone. I think the Lord let Adam be alone for a long time to let him know he was missing something.
The Scripture says that “God took man and from man He made woman”.
READ GEN. 2.23
Using the Hebrew words, this verse would use the same base word for man and woman: "She shall be called ‘Ish-a’, because she was taken out of man ‘Ish’."
In VERSE 18, God called her ". . . a helper suitable for him";
In other words, she was to be the other half of him. He was only half a man, and she was to be the other half of him.
With that in mind, you can see that the marriage relationship is not to be one of a man insisting on treating his wife like a little child who has to jump every time he says so.
She is there to help him as his partner. She is there to love him. And he is there to love and protect her. THAT IS THE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IN MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY – You see, HE KNOWS WHAT IT TAKES!
ILLUSTRATION: SMITH-DAVENPORT WEDDING
A request for a contemporary ceremony: excerpt from research:
The Lord saw that Adam was alone. There was no one to be a… “Suitable companion” to share in the joys, sorrows victories and defeats of life. And so the Lord caused a deep sleep to come over the man, took a rib from his side and from it fashioned Eve.
God did not take Eve from Adam’s foot or the head. Instead, he took her from under the shelter of Adam’s arm and next to his heart that they might face the future arm in arm, side by side.
IN CLOSING, CONSIDER THESE SEVEN QUESTIONS in EVALUATING YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP:
1. Are we ‘partners’ or ‘competitors’
2. Are we ‘helping each other become more spiritual’
3. Are we depending on the ‘externals’ or the ‘internals’ – the ‘artificial’ or the ‘real’?
4. Do we ‘understand each other’ AND do we work harder to understand the other’s view?
5. Are we ‘sensitive to each other’s feelings’ or do we ‘take each other for granted’?
6. Are we ‘seeing God answer our prayers’?
7. Are we ‘enriched’ because of our marriage, or ‘robbing each other’ of God’s blessing?
