“Bovine Basics”
Pt. 2 – Dealing With Bull
A. Review
Two weeks ago I challenged you not to have a cow. You hopefully remember that out of the life of Jeroboam I taught you some bovine basics such as: 1. Not everyone will be happy about your call, destiny and purpose. People will have their own plans for you. 2. Destiny will cost you. 3. Destiny requires more careful living. Your destiny can be lost. 3. Your revelation is determined by your relationships! Who you hang out with will determine what you see, how you act, and whether or not you are blessed. Stay away from cow lovers or you will have a cow.
Now this morning I want to talk to you about how to deal with or handle bull. I wished I could believe that none of us have to deal with bull. However, the truth is that we all have to deal with bull at some time or another.
Conflict is inevitable. In fact, let me say it this way you will have to deal with bull. It might be all nice and sweet right now, but the day will come when you will be offended by someone in this room and in your life. Let’s look at our text and you will have to agree.
B. Text
Luke 17:1
“1Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come:”
But you will also remember that in our 4th week of services I read to you
Psalms 133:1-3 which says:
“1How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along (in KJV it is dwell together in unity)! 2It’s like costly anointing oil flowing down head and beard, Flowing down Aaron’s beard, flowing down the collar of his priestly robes. 3It’s like the dew on Mount Hermon flowing down the slopes of Zion. Yes, that’s where GOD commands the blessing, ordains eternal life.”
So how do we get this commanded blessing, remain in unity when it is inevitable that we will be offended or have to deal with each other’s bull?
We need to learn some things about bull or offense.
C. Why Are We Offended
1. People don’t live up to our expectations.
Matthew 13:54-58
54And coming into his own country he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence hath this man this wisdom, and these mighty works? 55Is not this the carpenter’s son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joseph, and Simon, and Judas? 56And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things? 57And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honor, save in his own country, and in his own house. 58And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.
Jesus wasn’t who they thought he should be so they were offended in him. He didn’t live up to their expectations.
How many of us get offended with folks because they don’t live up to our expectations whether those expectations are realistic or not? You weren’t who I thought you were so now I am offended and hurt by you. I thought you would do this and you didn’t! You aren’t as committed as I expected, you aren’t as nice as I expected, you aren’t as spiritual as I expected. We develop a spirit of contempt. We look down on them because we expected more.
2. We are Paranoid
Too many of us are just paranoid. We actually believe that everyone is out to hurt us, get us, and to do us wrong. We have carried our past hurts and wrongs for so long, that we think everyone is out to do us in.
The truth is that too many of us wear our feelings on our sleeves and we can’t help but to be hurt. Therefore, good is mistaken for evil. Intentions are misjudged and trust is impossible. We are so sensitive that everyone may be doing their very best not to offend us and we still get hurt!
I hate to burst your bubble this morning, but not everyone is thinking about you and your feelings. Not everyone is out to get you! Everyone’s universe doesn’t revolve around you. Get your feelings off your sleeve and begin to develop tougher skin.
You will be offended. You will deal with bull. However, you don’t have to make it easier than it should be! Quit looking for offense. Quit thriving on chaos and conflict! Why?
D. Results of Offense
We must deal with bull correctly and quit thriving on it because offense produces some devastating results in our lives.
1. We become trapped.
Greek word for offense – Scandelon from which we get our English word for scandal. The definition of this Greek word is “Bait”. In other words, offense is nothing more than bait. Offense is the bait by which you become trapped in bondage. When you are offended you are distracted into becoming an offense carrier. You pick up bondage. Those who are offended are conflicted. They carry conflict with them into every situation. If we are offended we are trapped! Some of you have been trying to get rid of areas of bondage in your life for years and you have been unsuccessful and you can’t figure out why. Perhaps you took the bait. Perhaps you are trapped by offense. In order to go free you must deal with the bull!
2. We have no ability to bless others. No miracles or signs.
If you go back to the passage I read to you in Matthew you will discover that Jesus couldn’t do any miracles in his home town due to the disbelief. What caused their disbelief? Offense. Because they were offended they were unable to believe. Your offense will impact your ability to believe and therefore you will not see miracles, signs, wonders. If you don’t deal with the bull in your life you will live a miracleless life! Jesus was unable to bless those folks. Bull will impact your ability to bless others. Some of you can’t be a blessing to anyone because your power, your passion is blocked by the bull in your life!
3. No answered prayers
However, it will also impact your ability to be blessed! In Mark 11:25, “25And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it’s not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins.”
If you don’t deal with the bull and get rid of the offense not only can you not bless others you will not be blessed! If your prayers aren’t being answered perhaps you haven’t dealt with the bull in your life!
Even without going into the physical results of offense like upset stomach, high blood pressure, ulcers, etc. These three reasons are enough to see that we have to deal with the bull in our life. So how do we do that?
E. Dealing with Bull
So how do we deal with bull? What are the steps necessary to deal with offense and conflict?
1. We have to deal with the whole book again. All the parts. Not just the parts we like. Not just the parts that are easy. We have to be willing to accept this book for what it is – a package deal. We have a tendency to pick and choose the areas we like and that we are comfortable with. Example of man who said that part doesn’t work it is isn’t for me. This is an all or nothing proposition and this book outlines a step by step procedure for dealing with bull.
2. Step 1 – Overlook offense quickly
Proverbs 17:9, “9Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!”
Colossians 3:13, “13Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.”
Well you don’t understand, I just need some time. No get over it quickly. Be quick to forgive. Aren’t you glad Jesus didn’t need a few days to get over your offenses? Time heals all wounds. No – forgiveness heals all wounds. Quit dwelling on them, playing them over and over in your mind. Give them up quickly before they become the bait that takes you into bondage. The longer you dwell on it, think about it, wallow in it, the more like you are to be trapped!
3. Step 2 - Don’t keep score
Luke 4:3-4, “Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. 4Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.”
There is no room to keep tabs on who hurt you the most. Keep forgiving. No right to bring things up today that happened 5 years ago! Let it go.
4. Step 3 – Follow the pattern for resolution
Matthew 5:23-25, 23“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, 24abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God. 25“Or say you’re out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don’t lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him.”
Matthew 18:15-17, 15“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. 16If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. 17If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.”
Notice the pattern. If you are hurt by someone or you know someone is hurt by you guess whose responsibility it is to deal with the bull? You! Well he knows what he did. Most likely he doesn’t. It is your job to deal with it whether it is your fault or someone else’s fault.
Pattern is this: 1 on 1 in love. Next step is to take impartial witnesses. Next step is church.
Why do we get that backwards? Why do we want to tell the whole church before we deal with a person 1 on 1? We have become comfortable with back biting, gossip, and verbal assault. When God’s Word declares that we are obligated to deal with the person first. The more we talk about it to others the more it brings bull into the house and the bait is taken and you will be bound and others will be bound as well because they will pick up your offense for you! It seems that we will tell everyone and then as a last ditch effort, if we are forced, we will deal with the person one on one. Let’s follow the pattern.
F. Challenge
I want to challenge you this morning. We want to be where the commanded blessing is. In order for that to happen we must dwell in unity. Want to be blessed? Guess who gets the blessing? Matthew 5:9, “9Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
How many want to be hated by God? Proverbs 6:19 is a list of the 7 things God hates, the last one mentioned is “a troublemaker in the family” or “one who sows discord in the brethren.”
Deal with bull. Handle it quickly, early, personally, and then drop it forever! Be blessed! Your ability to bless and be blessed hangs in the balance!
Prayer for forgiveness – heal memories, pain, hurt. Holding a grudge.
