Once a Child…Always a Child
Proverbs 22:6
Introduction
Mark Twain was asked his opinion on the raising of children. With his typical wit Twain offered this homey philosophy: “Things run along pretty smoothly until your kid reaches thirteen. That’s the time you need to stick ‘em in a barrel, hammer the lid down nice and snug, and feed ‘em through the knothole. And then, about the time they turn sixteen, plug up the knothole!”
While Twain’s advice might appear to simplify the struggles of parenting, it is of absolutely no help whatsoever, because there is simply not enough barrels to go around, and even if there were you couldn’t keep a teenager in a barrel if you wanted to! If know! I’ve got teenagers!
Today we have taken time in our service to dedicate two precious babies to the Lord. We have accepted the responsibility along with their parents to make a positive spiritual impact in their lives for the Lord. What that means to me is, “we must do more than just push a few good thoughts through the knothole…we must commit to pointing them to the Lord each and every day.
Chuck Swindoll in his book, Growing Wise in the Family Life writes:
When it comes to rearing children, developing a strong home where happiness and harmony can flourish, there is a primary starting point: knowing your child. This is the most profound insight, the single most helpful secret I can pass on to you on the subject… Knowing your child takes time, careful observation, diligent study, prayer, concentration, help from above, and yes, wisdom… The two essential ingredients are desire and time. If you really want to know, and if you’re really willing to invest the time, God will honor your efforts. He will enable you to know your child.
This morning I want us to focus on a verse that has been quoted many times regarding parents and children. I put this verse on the dedication certificate that I gave the parents a few moments ago. It is a quote from the proverbs of Solomon found in chapter 22 verse 6:
“Train a child in they way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it.”
I want us to look at that verse in some detail today. We are going to look at it from the perspective of parents with the responsibility of raising children, and also as children who are been raised by a Heavenly Father. Let me walk with you through this verse and share some thoughts with you about it.
“Train a child…”
The word used for “train” was a word that described the placing of a rope in the mouth of a horse in order to “train” it. It had as its idea the breaking of a wild spirit, bringing it under control. The word was also used to describe and interesting action on the part of a Hebrew midwife immediately after the birth of a baby. The midwife would hold the newborn in her arms, dip her finger into a bowl of crushed grapes or dates and then touch her finger to the gums and roof of the newborns mouth. By doing this she would “train” the newborn to begin the sucking action necessary to nurse from its mother.
“…In the way they should go…”
The first reaction we probably have to this statement is that it means, “In the way we think they should go.” That’s really not what it means. What the phrase really means is that we should train a child to find “their” way, to discover “who” and “what” God wants them to be. To follow the path that God has already laid out for them based on the talents and characteristics that He has blessed them with.
If there is one thing that I have learned about raising kids it is that there are very few hard fast rules that can be applied to all kids. Why? Because all kids are different. When Brittany was a baby we never had a hard time getting her to go to bed. By the time she was two we could say to her, “Brittany its bedtime,” and she would head off to bed on her own. When Blake Jr. came along we discovered that saying, “Blake its bedtime,” meant absolutely nothing to him! It still doesn’t! Now a days when I say, “Blake its bedtime,” he says, “Goodnight dad,” and I GO TO BED! No two kids are alike and so we must realize the responsibility to help them discover the way God has for each of them to go.
“…And when they are old they will not turn from it.”
Do you know what “old” means according to this verse in Hebrew? Literally, it means, “When they are old enough to grow a beard.” Since I hope that my daughters never get old enough to “grow a beard” we should see that it means when they reach adulthood. If we want our children to stay on the “right” path, we need to be willing to help them find the path that is “right” for them. If we do that, if we as Chuck Swindoll said, “have that desire…and invest that time…” then we can claim this promise.
A paraphrase of our verse might read something like this:
Adapt the training of your child so that it is in keeping with their
God-given characteristics and abilities; when they come of age,
they will stick with the training that they have received.
Lets take the three parts of this verse and find some applications for us as parents:
“Train a child…”
We must train our kids so that we can help them control the “wild” side of their individuality. The sin nature that all of us share. We need to be careful that we don’t try to “pull so hard” that they rebel against our instruction. When rope that we talked about was placed in a horse’s mouth, the trainer had the responsibility to use it we care. His job was to break the horse’s selfish will, but not its spirit. The same thing is true for us as parents. We need to teach our children difference between “their will” and “God’s will.”
We must train our kids to desire what is good for them. We need to teach them to want to know the Lord, and to live spiritual lives. Just as that midwife helped a newborn learn to suckle, we need to help our children learn to feed on God’s Word.
“…In the way they should go…”
I said a while a go that we need to teach our children the difference between “their will” and “God’s will,” we as parents also need to know the difference between “Our will” and “God’s will.” There is nothing wrong with having dreams and aspirations for our children, unless those dreams and aspirations are our own and not the Lord’s. I believe that the Lord has gifted every child uniquely, and with those gifts every child can become an important part of His kingdom. As parents it is our responsibility to help our kids find their place in the kingdom. If we are going to do that we must “know our kids.” If we are going to “know” them we must spend time with them.
The most important part of helping our kids find their place is by teaching them about God’s love…about His gift of salvation through His own Son Jesus Christ. There is no greater gift that you can give your child than to share with them of God’s saving grace.
“…And when they are old they will not turn from it.”
I believe this promise. If we truly get to know our kids, committing the time it takes to teach and train them, modeling God’s love for them in our lives, then they are going to find “their way” and in the process discover that it is also “God’s way” for them.
Let me take just a couple more minutes to make another couple of applications. Many of you have already raised your children. They’ve already reached that “able to grow a beard” age. I want to challenge you to take these same principles and apply them to your interactions with your grandchildren and even your great-grandchildren. Hillary Clinton once said that it takes a village to raise a child. I don’t think that is true in the sense she said it, but I do believe that we as an extended family not only can, but should have a positive influence on the children around us.
Some of the first kids that I baptized years ago are now getting married and having children of their own. I am so happy that I had an opportunity to make an impact on their young lives. All of us have that opportunity, regardless of whether we have children at home anymore, or if we ever had children.
Conclusion:
One more thought and then we will close. The principles that I have shared with you from Proverbs 22:6 are the same ones that our Heavenly Father uses with us.
He trains us to control our sin nature…He trains us to desire His Word…He trains us to use the gifts and talents He’s blessed us with for His glory…He trains us to remain faithful to the end.
My title this morning was Once a child…Always a child. I chose that because it is true, and because my message this morning is about more than being good parents. It is also about allowing God to “parent” us.
Do you feel God pulling on that rope? Is His Holy Spirit convicting you right now of a decision you need to make? Do you know where it is God wants to go? What He wants you to do? He does! Have you turned away from the way that He has lead you? Today is the day to get back on God’s path for your life. He is a loving Heavenly Father who is waiting right now with welcoming arms.
