Managing Your Mouth
Today we are going to look at what James tells us about “Managing Your Mouth”. People love to talk. We love to watch talk shows. Everybody seems to have something to say. Everybody has something to talk about. Did you know that the average American has thirty conversations a day and will spend a fifth of their lives talking. In one year if all your conversations were written down with just your words – they would fill sixty six books of eight hundred pages per book. On the average in America – a man will speak twenty thousand words a day. If you are woman – you will speak thirty thousand words a day.
Some of us are born with a silver foot in our mouths. We have the natural ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Our mouths get us into a lot of trouble. James talks more about managing our mouths – than any one else in the Bible. Follow along with me as I read from James chapter three:
“We all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.”
James 3:2 (NKJV)
James says that if you can control your mouth – you’ll be perfect. Go ahead and circle the word “perfect”. The Greek word for “perfect” does not mean – sinless. What it means is – mature or healthy. James tells us that to be spiritually mature or spiritually healthy we must learn to manage our mouths.
WHY MUST I MANAGE MY MOUTH?
Why is it so important to manage my mouth? Look at what Jesus says in Matthew chapter twelve:
“I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36 (NASV)
I think that what Jesus is saying that we will give an accounting for not just for our careless words – but that we will be accountable for every word we speak - even the careless ones. Words are significant. Words are important. With your words you can build others up and with your words you can cut people down.
“Sticks and stone can break my bones – but names will hurt my feelings.”
Be very careful how you use words. Every truth can be turned into a lie – just by twisting it a little. That’s why Jesus said we would be accountable for the words which we speak. Let me give you three reasons that we need to manage our mouths:
Reason number one:
1. My Words Determine Where I GO
Your words have a tremendous influence over your life. James gives us two illustrations of this fact. Let’s look at James chapter three – verses three and four:
“Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires.” James 3:3-4 (NKJV)
A huge horse – even a Clydesdale – can be controlled by a bit in its mouth. The ocean liner – The Queen Mary – has three acres of recreational space on board. The anchor weighs more than ten cars. Yet it is steered by a small rudder that keeps it on course.
Go ahead and circle the word “turned”. A horse is "turned" by a small bit. A ship is "turned" by a small rudder. Your car is "turned" by your steering wheel – and your life is "turned" by the words you say. Your words are the steering wheel of your life. It is the guidance system. If you don’t like the way you are headed now – change what you say.
A guy joined a monastery where silence was valued. Each new monk was given a probation period of three years. At the end of each year each monk was allowed to speak two words. So at the end of the first year the young monk said, “Bed hard.” The second year can and went and the young monk said, “Food cold.” At the end of the third year the young monk said, “I quit.” The head priest said to him, “That doesn’t surprise me. All you have done is complain the whole time you’ve been here.”
James tells us that the words we speak direct our lives. We need to control what we say.
Why must I mange my mouth – point two:
2. My Words Can Destroy What I HAVE
Look at what James tells us in verses five and six:
“The tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.” James 3:5-6 (NKJV)
Folks – it only takes a spark to get a fire going. A careless camper can destroy an entire forest overnight. A careless word can destroy a life overnight. I wonder how many people have destroyed their marriage, their career, their friendships, or the reputation of others by a careless word? How many of you know this saying – Loose lips sink ships? It was a saying during World War II. During World War II naval operations needed to be kept secret. If a person – who had classified information talked too much – lives were at risk. We in the military have a term for this – it’s called OPSEC. It means we need to be careful what we say - what information we put out. Back in James chapter one he said:
“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20 (NKJV)
Proverbs tells us:
“Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.” Proverbs 21:23 (MSG)
If I need to speak up because of injustice – the Bible tells me clearly how to do it. Ephesians says:
“God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love.” Ephesians 4:15 (MSG)
We are to speak the truth in love. We are also to use gentleness when we talk to others for the Bible says:
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
Let us be very careful how we respond to one another. Some problems can be ignored – you can let them go. Other problems must be dealt with - but the manner in which you handle them makes a world of difference. Words can destroy what you have. They can destroy your own life as well as the lives of those around you.
Why else must I manage my mouth:
3. My Words Display Who I AM
My words reveal my real character. They tell what’s really going on inside me. James points out how inconsistent we are in our speech.
“With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in His image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on.”
James 3:9-10 (MSG)
We praise God on Sunday – but we curse each other on Monday.
The highest use of our mouths is to use it in praising God. We spent an hour in praise on Sunday – and yet go to our cars and argue with one another about where we are going to eat lunch. Isn’t it amazing how quickly our attitudes can change? Isn’t is amazing how easily our words can change their tone? We have “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” living in our mouths. One minute we are praising God – the next we are cursing our neighbor.
This bothers me immensely. I hope it bothers you too.
Christians are to be a people of love. God loved us so much that He sent Son to die for us. Why? So that we can love one another. Most of know John 3:16 but do you know First John three sixteen? It is found in your notes:
“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:16 (NKJV)
We are to love each other so much that we are willing to sacrifice ourselves for each other - we are to be willing to die for each other. If we love each other that much - shouldn’t we at least speak kindly to one another? But the truth of the matter is that the problem is much deeper than the words we say. Look at what James says in verses eleven and twelve:
“Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.” James 3:11-12 (NKJV)
The problem goes clear down to the very nature of our being – to the very heart of the matter. In fact the problem is a heart problem – that’s what Jesus says in Matthew chapter twelve:
“How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34 (NKJV)
We have a problem. It is a heart problem. The question is:
WHAT ‘S THE SOLUTION?
The solution is three steps:
1. Get a NEW HEART
You’ve got to get a new heart – because the heart is the heart of the problem. God is in the business of doing heart transplants. If you seek God – He can give you a new heart. In Ezekiel God has given us a promise:
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26 (NKJV)
Painting the pump doesn’t make the water any sweeter. It doesn’t get the poison out of the well. By changing what is on the inside - you change what comes out. Then there will be real change.
The New Testament says it this way:
“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)
Secondly – you need to:
2. Ask God for HELP
We need a super-natural power to control our tongues. We can not do it on our own. That is why the scripture says:
“Greater is He who is in you than is in the world.”
1 John 4:4 (NASV)
We need to ask God for help in managing our mouths. The Psalmist prays this prayer in Psalm one hundred forty one:
“Post a guard at my mouth, God, set a watch at the door of my lips.” Psalms 141:3 (MSG)
When we pray we need to pray, “Lord, put a muzzle on my mouth. Guard my lips. Let me speak up at the proper time – let me be silent when I need to be silent – and grant me the wisdom to know the difference.”
Watch your words and ask God for His help.
Also:
3. Think before you SPEAK
Engage your mind before you put your mouth in gear. James tells us:
“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” James 1:19 (NKJV)
James tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak – even slower in our anger.
What do your words say about you? What do they reveal about your character? If we could play back a tape of every word that spoke this last week – would you be pleased? Would God be pleased?
A bit and a rudder must be under the control of a strong arm. James is telling us that the only way to get control of you mouth is to allow God to have control of it. What’s in your heart is revealed by your mouth. Have you asked God to change your heart? Have you invited Jesus into your heart?
Maybe you need to ask for forgiveness. Maybe you need to say, “I’m sorry Lord for my actions and for my words. Forgive me Lord. Please change my heart and help me to control my mouth. Please – Lord – please.”
(Special thanks to Richard Warren for his sermon “How To Manage Your Mouth” which inspired this sermon.)
