The book of Ecclesiastes is the reflection of an old man who had examined his life and the lives of those around him. As the author reflected on man, he discovered that people pursue many things that are without value or meaning. Knowing that he was approaching the end of his journey, the author sought to teach younger men that many things which for a time seem to be valuable are really “meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”
The author concluded that only a life that is lived for Christ has any meaning. Anything else is without any merit or value. Today, I would like to look with you at one of the things this wise authored identified as meaningless, and show you how you can escape the vortex of a meaningless existence and life a life of value. To begin, please notice that the author said that life without proper connection is meaningless. King Solomon demonstrated this fact through some interesting mathematics. I want you to consider this new math, and apply it to your life.
I. 1+0=0
a. Isolation
i. Ecclesiastes 4:7,8 says, “Again, I saw something meaningless under the sun: There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother.”
ii. The author says that it is meaningless to live a life of isolation.
Social Isolation Growing in U.S., Study Says
The Number of People Who Say They Have No One to Confide In Has Risen
By Shankar Vedantam
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, June 23, 2006; Page A03
Americans are far more socially isolated today than they were two decades ago, and a sharply growing number of people say they have no one in whom they can confide, according to a comprehensive new evaluation of the decline of social ties in the United States.
A quarter of Americans say they have no one with whom they can discuss personal troubles, more than double the number who were similarly isolated in 1985. Overall, the number of people Americans have in their closest circle of confidants has dropped from around three to about two.
The comprehensive new study paints a sobering picture of an increasingly fragmented America, where intimate social ties -- once seen as an integral part of daily life and associated with a host of psychological and civic benefits -- are shrinking or nonexistent. In bad times, far more people appear to suffer alone.
"That image of people on roofs after Katrina resonates with me, because those people did not know someone with a car," said Lynn Smith-Lovin, a Duke University sociologist who helped conduct the study. "There really is less of a safety net of close friends and confidants."
If close social relationships support people in the same way that beams hold up buildings, more and more Americans appear to be dependent on a single beam.
Compared with 1985, nearly 50 percent more people in 2004 reported that their spouse is the only person they can confide in. But if people face trouble in that relationship, or if a spouse falls sick, that means these people have no one to turn to for help, Smith-Lovin said.
"We know these close ties are what people depend on in bad times," she said. "We’re not saying people are completely isolated. They may have 600 friends on Facebook.com [a popular networking Web site] and e-mail 25 people a day, but they are not discussing matters that are personally important."
The natural reaction to a lack of connection is to retreat to the safety of superficial conversations and limited personal contact. To protect ourselves against further pain by guarding our emotions, not letting ourselves care too much or reveal too much. Paul Simon put those feelings into words in his song, "I Am a Rock":
I’ve built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain
I am a rock. I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain.
And an island never cries.
A rock feels no pain. An island never cries. But it never rejoices, either, or feels happiness, or contentment, or love. Instinctively, we know that’s the way of death, not life.
Loneliness is a warning light on the dash board of your life that confirms that you are running low on the primary fuel you need: connection.
b. Exhaustion
i. But there is more. The author also says that the isolation leads to exhaustion. Verse 8 continues, “There was no end to his toil...”
ii. “The heart of Christian development has long been a relationship between someone who has something to learn and someone who has something to share. In the context of such a relationship, a synergy develops that accelerates and enhances growth. Synergy is the energy or force that is generated through the working together of various parts or processes. For example, two horses can pull about nine thousand pounds, but through the power created by adding more horses, four horses can pull over thirty thousand pounds.” (James Emery White, Rethinking the Church, (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1997, p. 62).
iii. When you work alone you will suffer from exhaustion. You will toil and toil at your spiritual growth but you will only suffer exhaustion.
c. Frustration
i. When you live the Christian life without partnerships you suffer from isolation, exhaustion, and frustration. “There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. ‘For whom am I toiling,’ he asked, ‘and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?’ This too is meaningless – a miserable business!”
ii. Man has inside him what C. S. Lewis called the “Incosolable Longing.” Lewis wrote a profound statement that will give you both the question and the answer: “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” (Mere Christianity, bk. 3. ch. 10) Elsewhere he wrote, “Our lifelong nostalgia, our longing to be reunited with something in the universe from which we now feel cut off, to be on the inside of some door which we have always seen from the outside is no mere neurotic fancy, but the truest index of our real situation.” (Transposition and Other Addresses, ch. 2)
1. There is a longing inside of every human that can not be satisfied in work, drugs, sports, sex, or things. They will only end in frustration.
2. So many people today feel like they are outside the door, desperately wondering what it looks like on the inside of the door. The inside of the door, the thing that brings to an end the frustration, the hopelessness and despair is an connection with Jesus Christ, and connection with His followers.
3. Living life alone will bring isolation, exhaustion, and frustration, but when you enter into authentic, healthy, and God-centered relationships, you will see that life with partnerships will bring production, provision, and protection. Verse 9 begins with a simple declaration: Two are better than one. Life is a team sport. The Christian life is a team sport. The healthy Christian life cannot be lived without partnering with a small group of believers.
II. 1+1>2 Two are better than one.
a. Production
i. Verse 9 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work;” “In his classic economics text, The Wealth of Nations, Adam Smith wrote that ten people working individually can produce twenty pins a day, but ten people working together can produce forty-eight thousand pins in a day….
ii. “A married couple will tell us of the benefit of a Christian counselor. An athlete will talk about the importance of a trainer or a coach. A businessperson will talk about the power of a team. In life, we all need support – and when we get it, it makes all the difference in the world.
iii. When two human souls combine their strength, creativity, talent, and ambition, synergy (that intangible chemistry of working together) takes over. Through synergy you find a greater production, and find that 1+1>2.
b. Provision
i. Verse 10 says, “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to pick him up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
ii. When spiritual, physical or emotional needs arise, the loner experiences isolation, frustration and exhaustion, but the man who has a partner experiences provision.
iii. I remember that awful television commercial from a few years ago, where the elderly lady falls out of bed, and cries out. “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
c. Protection
i. Verse 12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.”
ii. There is protection in the partnered life. When sin and Satan and self assail, a friend can be there to shield you and guide you and protect you. But when you stand alone you will be overpowered.
III. 3>1+1+1
Connection is made more difficult by the hectic pace of the world we live in, a world that tends to force us apart, rather than draw us together. We’re running from work, to soccer practice, to piano lessons, to grocery shopping, to home – where we eat microwave dinners, and then log onto the computer to do the work we didn’t get finished at the office. We don’t know our neighbors; our relatives live halfway across the country; and at night everyone retreats to their castle and pulls up the drawbridge. Put all this together, and you can understand why we often feel so isolated and alone.
Charles Swindoll has made the observation that,“ The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit that there is to the fellowship Christ wants us to give his church. It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality – but it is a permissive, accepting and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable. It is democratic. You can tell people secrets, and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers.” [Charles Swindoll. Koinina ???l]
Let’s not allow our community to settle for a counterfeit when we can provide them with the real thing! I honestly believe if we will live out the principles of connection the world will be banging our doors down, just to get in!
