(Slide 1) When I was a few months from graduation from seminary, the church I had attended during college had a position open and I was very interested in it. The pastor had become a spiritual mentor to me and I was hopeful for the opportunity to work with him.
When we met to discuss the position and situation, he said to me, (and I am paraphrasing after 23 years!) ‘I have talked to so and so (the pastor with whom I would end up working) and you are more a youth man while we need a Christian Education person. So, I am looking at other people.’
Along with the anger and the disappointment came a major stumbling block for me (and for many people) – envy. My major was in Christian Education! What made it harder was that the person who ended up taking the position was both a seminary classmate and a High School classmate of mine as well!
A few weeks ago as a ministerial colleague talked to me about a situation that he was dealing with, I prayed for him. As I prayed, I was convicted of envy of him and several other colleagues because of their successes. It was hard to admit to in his presence and seek the forgiveness of God for.
I have heard jealousy (and probably envy as well) called the ‘green eyed monster.’ It is a common stumbling block. No one, preachers including, are exempt from its placement in our path.
I would even suggest this morning that envy took root in Eve’s soul when the Serpent pointed out that she and Adam would become like God if they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. His question in Genesis 3:1 I think created not just doubt but envy: “Really?” he asked the woman. “Did God really say you must not eat any of the fruit in the garden?”
Can you begin to sense how envy of God may have entered her heart and soul? God had this great power and ability to see and understand good and evil and the Serpent’s temptation. ‘You will become just like God, knowing everything, both good and evil,’ added fuel to the fire.
Can’t you see the look on Eve’s face change, “Humm…I can become like God? Yeah… I can have His power and His ability! I can know the difference between good and evil! Why shouldn’t Adam and I have this ability?” Envy of God’s power and knowledge takes root and the rest is history.
The Bible contains several references to envy and as I studied them this week two passages stood out to me.
The first is found in Ecclesiastes 4:4, ‘Then I observed that most people are motivated to success by their envy of their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless, like chasing the wind.’
This verse comes at perhaps one of the bleakest places in the book. The writer (who many believe was Solomon) had been lamenting the lack of purpose in life and that all of the striving and effort that people do to find meaning and happiness was proving to be futile.
But, his statement about envy of one’s neighbor as motivation for success is one that is reflected in both an honest assessment of our own life and in the fact that the final commandment is ‘do not covet your neighbor’s house’ and everything that is a part of it: wife, possessions, animals, etc.
Dr. Gary Collins has written, ‘To envy is to want something which belongs to another person.’ I envied my classmate who got the position that I wanted.
I would suggest this morning that the constant pursuit of many things because of both envy and jealousy leaves us, as the Preacher of Ecclesiastes would say, ‘chasing the wind.’ And as we chase the wind of this product or that product or this opportunity or that opportunity or this relationship or that relationship it does leave us breathless and soulless at times.
(Slide 2) Let me suggest this morning that one way we avoid the stumbling block of envy is to learn to be content with who we are and what we have.
In 1 Timothy 6:6 and following we read, ‘true religion with contentment is great wealth. After all, we didn’t bring anything with us when we came into the world, and we certainly cannot carry anything with us when we die. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction.’
Envy is never satisfied but if we can become content with what we have and who we are (while still growing and maturing in our faith and life as followers of Christ) then envy’s power and influence is limited.
A second passage is found in Mark 7:20-23 when, in the context of a discussion about what makes a person unclean, Jesus said, “It is the thought-life that defiles you. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, eagerness for lustful pleasure, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you and make you unacceptable to God.”
Envy comes out of minds and souls that are affected by our fallenness, our warpedness, our sin. Envy comes out of our ‘unclean’ disposition. It comes out of the ‘I want what you have’ desire because of our self-centeredness. In fact, James Stalker says, ‘it is the selfish element which is the poisonous ingredient in envy-the sense that we are affronted because another rises, or that we reap benefit and gratification from another’s humiliation.’
(Slide 2a) Let me suggest a second way that we deal with envy and that is by performing a good spiritual house cleaning, i.e., confession and repentance.
Jesus’ constant reminder about the need for an inner change of our disposition and choice to turn to God is the most important way to render envy powerless in our lives. But what I have discovered (and so have many others) is that when we confess and repent of our sins, there is an empty space that needs to be filled so that envy, or any of the stumbling blocks that we have examined so far, does not have a place to come back.
Jesus talks about this dynamic in very graphic terms in Luke 11:24-26 he says this, ‘When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, searching for rest. But when it finds none, it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ So it returns and finds that its former home is all swept and clean. Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before. As he was speaking, a woman in the crowd called out, “God bless your mother—the womb from which you came, and the breasts that nursed you!” He replied, “But even more blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.”
What Jesus is saying is that our tendency is to slip back into our old ways, such as envy, unless we make the intentional choice to hear the word of God and put it into practice.” How do we do that? How do we clean house and keep the demons at bay?
(Slide 2b) Let the Holy Spirit develop kindness as part of your character and life.
(Slide 3) In Proverbs 3:3-4 we read, ‘Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you! Wear them like a necklace; write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will gain a good reputation.’
These two verses are composed of three sentences. Let’s look at each one of them for a moment.
(Slide 4) Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you!
Kindness is an antidote to envy. How can we be truly kind to someone and envy them at the same time. We really, really, really can’t! There is no room in our hearts and souls for both!
‘Kindness, wrote Alexander Maclaren, ‘makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it. Do not hammer it.’
Envy is a hammer that ends up doing more harm than good primarily to us. It hammers us, using Stalker’s words, ‘into depression and despair.’
Notice the use of the word ‘never’ in this sentence. It means, ‘there are to be no exceptions!’ The emphatic ness of the writer makes it clear that he is telling his young audience (and it has been suggested that the initial audience of Proverbs were the young ‘emergent’ leaders of ancient Israel) that kindness is a critical and essential character trait that one cannot afford to let go of but hang onto for dear life.
There is also the additional attribute of ‘loyalty.’ To be loyal to someone; spouse, kids, friends, co-workers, is to support them, encourage them, even challenge them and hold them accountable for their choices in a caring way. But envy cannot exist where loyalty is present as well.
Now I know that there have been many tragic episodes of ‘blind’ loyalty down through the years. And company loyalty is a thing of the past. But loyalty, like kindness, is a key stepping stone; a key building block in life.
If we don’t have the Lord’s help in building kindness into our lives then we will struggle with envy. If we don’t have the Lord’s help in building loyalty into our lives; we will struggle with loneliness, and, I believe, in a back door way, cynicism that will keep us from developing meaningful relationships and trust with others and the Lord.
The next sentence says, (Slide 4a) Wear them like a necklace; write them deep within your heart.
When a woman wears a necklace it is easily seen. It enhances what she wears. It complements her in someway. Kindness and loyalty do the same thing. They enhance our lives. They complement (and complete) our other character qualities.
But the writer also says that we are to write kindness and loyalty deep within our hearts. What does this mean?
The word write means many things. One way the word ‘write’ is used is as a transitive verb. This means to reveal or exhibit something clearly as in, ‘He had joy written all over his face.’ To ‘write’ kindness and loyalty in our hearts is to reveal or exhibit it in our lives.
In doing so, they lead us to the results stated in the third sentence of this passage. (Slide 4b) Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will gain a good reputation.’
Who here this morning wants a bad reputation? Who here this morning does not want to find favor with God and people?
Kindness and loyalty make it happen. Positive favor and a good reputation is not built on being mean spirited and disloyal. Dore Schary wrote, ‘A person who calls himself frank and candid can very easily find himself becoming tactless and cruel.’
A survey done about five years ago by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago finds that those who attend church weekly and take part in other religious activities perform an average of 128 acts of kindness a year versus 96 such acts by people who never attend church. Is this true of us?
William Barclay once said, “More people have been brought into the church by the kindness of real Christian love than by all the theological arguments in the world.”
I know that kindness is very hard to express at times. We get rushed and others get rushed and our schedules get filled up and we have to be in three places at once and work gets harried, and family issues wash over us at breakneck speed and …. Well, kindness takes a back seat.
How do we then avoid the stumbling block of envy and stand on the stepping stone of kindness? We choose to do so. We will to do so.
Last week I read a portion of Max Lucado’s book, When God Whispers Your Name, as it related to self-control. Let me share with you what he says about kindness (and about goodness as well)
‘I choose kindness. I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness. I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.
I choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest."
Let us choose today to embrace kindness and let go of envy. Let us build our lives, with God’s help, on the foundation of kindness. Amen.
Translation used is generally New Living Translation. Collins, Shary, Barcley, and Lucado quotes and NORC research note are found at sermoncentral.com
