This sermon is by James Choung of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. You are also invited to visit James¡¦ blog at http://www.jameschoung.net/.
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Ever let someone down? I mean, really let them down? They expected something of you, something reasonable, and you didn’t deliver?
The woman I was dating in college was graduating. We had been dating for two and a half years. I was a second year staff worker away at camp, and she made me promise not to be late to her graduation. Sure thing. "No problem. I’ll be there."
I can’t remember what happened. I don’t know if I dilly-dallied after a Scripture study. Or did I need to finish a game of softball? Or had too long a lunch? But all of a sudden, I realized that I was going to be late...
It’s not fun letting people down. Nor is it fun to be let down. It could be something simple. It can be as silly as the Matrix sequels. Or it could be something that makes you question the core: recently, one of my close buddies passed away. He spent two years in the hospital with a rare disease, and we prayed for his healing. But he died at the age of 32.
What do you do when your expectations aren’t met, especially in the things you feel like God had said would come to pass? What do you do when your dreams don’t happen?
The students of Jesus in the passage we’ll cover had sky-high expectations. They thought they were following the Promised One, the one that would overthrow the Roman government and restore the Kingdom of Israel. But this leader wasn’t like other violent Galileans, calling for uprising and revolt. His way had confused them for three years, but he could do great things: heal the sick, bring sight to the blind, raise the dead. He was amazing. He must be the long-awaited king. And they had left everything to follow him. They wanted to rule with him when his Kingdom was established. And it all came to an end after three years of learning and becoming like their rabbi: the Roman government had executed their rabbi and leader. The revolution was over. The Kingdom they hoped for wouldn’t come. And not only that, in the end they showed their true loyalties: every single one of them ran.
Peter, however, was the worst offender of them all. Full of bravado, always known to act before he thought, he was the outstanding pupil among Jesus’ twelve. And he swore that he would be loyal. But Jesus upbraids him with a prediction. Read slide: John 13. And to Peter’s terror, the prediction comes true. Read slide: John 18. How does Peter feel? Talk about major disappointments „o how does Peter look at himself in the mirror? Another passage says that he wept bitterly. He knew that he blew it.
I. We catch nothing when we go back to our old ways.
Read John 21:1-3. It would be easy to think that the disciples were elated about Jesus’ resurrection. Sure, they were. But some were freaked out. Some were doubtful. And they must all now sit in the guilt of failing their master. For all of their bravado, their nerve didn’t hold up. And they see him, and they’re reminded of their failures. Their early confidence is gone, and the dream of the Kingdom hasn’t awakened in them. So Peter does what anyone would do when loaded down with guilt: he tries to take his mind off of it. "I’m going out to fish." What else would you do to get your mind off of your failures? And they go out all night long. Fishing is backbreaking work. They have to go at night, because their nets aren’t made with the nylon they have today for trammel nets. They’re made of linen, and visible to fish in the day. So they have to do it at night. They have to set up their nets, a three-fold contraption with a corked top and a leaded bottom. And they throw these nets into the water to build aquatic fences, and create a commotion so that the fish would be scared into them. But they don’t catch anything. They try to take their mind off of it by doing something they’re good at, something they know. Yet still catch nothing.
Everyone’s got their go-to when they’re down and out, and feeling worthless. Isn’t it tempting to go back to the old ways? At least four of the twelve were fisherman by trade before meeting Jesus. They were good at it, and could live off of it. And in the middle of the failure, they look for something sure. They know they can fish. It’s something to do with their hands. And it will help them recover some sense of dignity, right? The old ways are comfortable, like old jeans. When things go poorly, we go back to what we know.
What do you go back to when faith doesn’t work out? What is something that makes sense to you? Is it something relatively harmless, like video games or the beach? Or do you dig into academics to get a sense of self-worth? Or is it something more insidious or addictive like pornography or masturbation? Or romantic relationships? Or ex’s? Or some place where Jesus isn’t allowed too much access, like a hobby or work? Not that all of these things are necessarily bad. It’s just that they’re escapes „o escapes from what God really wants to do in you. These diversions have their places, but they shouldn’t dominate. Because if they do, you’ll wake up one day and realize that you’re in a rut. You’ve put down the nets and haven’t caught anything. What’s your go-to? Seriously. Just think about it.
My personality type is being an escapist, of wanting to avoid the pain. When things aren’t going well in ministry, sometimes I go into my what-other-thing-I-could-be-doing fantasies, and start thinking about what it would’ve been like to continue down the business consulting track or something like that. Last week’s fantasy was what it would’ve been like to chase the journalism track. I was choosing between journalism and engineering out of high school, and had won scholarships on the journalism side „o so I start thinking about what it would’ve been like to work for some local paper to work up to the New York Times, and then pick up some world beat and get a Pulitzer prize... See, I’m pretty jacked up. I’ve got no problem expanding the ego. And I don’t feel better afterward.
So when we try to escape our failures through things we know, we’ll catch what the disciples caught. Nothing. Not a thing. There’s nothing to catch when we go back to our old ways. And we’ll catch nothing. Check out what happens in the next part of the passage.
II. Jesus, instead, takes them back to the beginning
Read John 21:4-14. I like Jesus’ sense of drama. He comes, but doesn’t make it painfully obvious who he is. "Ooo, Ooo, Ooo! It’s me! I’m back! Check me out!" But he comes in through the back door into an eerily familiar scene. He calls out to them at daybreak. The sentence structure in the original language makes it clear that Jesus doesn’t think they’ve caught anything. "You haven’t caught anything, have you?" He already knows. "No." They reply. You can hear the hoarseness of their fatigue in the "no." The question’s annoying. And then Jesus adds to the chutzpah: he asks them to do the hard thing of throwing down their nets again. It’s the break of day, and they’re done. And plus, the fish can see the trammel nets now. They’ve been at it, but Jesus is setting them up and asks them to do the very thing against their instinct.
But they do it, and find themselves hauling in the fish. 153. They count. Because it’s so amazing. The miracle is not just the number of the catch, though that’s big. It’s also that in the day, these fish, though they can see the nets, run straight into them. The fisherman know that this is amazing. And Jesus shows himself God over all creation again.
But this event is powerful for yet another reason. You’ve seen it before. Read Luke 5 slides. In Luke 5, Jesus did the very same thing. He showed up, right after they had cleaned their nets in the early morning. So after a long night of labor, when they’re ready to sleep until noon, he asks them to put him out into the water because of the crowds. They do, and he teaches for an hour? Or two? All the while, the fishermen sit with in the boat, dead tired. And after all of that, he asks them to cast their nets into the water „o after they’ve been cleaned and dried. (Fishermen had to clean their nets each night, so that they wouldn’t rot.) They obey, and they pull in a great catch. And start to follow Jesus.
So even though they try to escape, Jesus has set this whole thing up yet again. He knows that they feel like failures, and the dream of the Kingdom has died within them. But Jesus takes them back to the beginning, to when their first met him, and starts over. After everything, the great news is that even if you go back to old ways, Jesus will go into them and start things over with you. And he reminds them of their first awe, their first sense of wonder. It was then when they began to follow Jesus.
Some of us in here feel like we’ve failed Jesus in some way. We remember the early days, when we wanted to make a difference in Jesus’ name. But we’re more weathered now. The youthful dreams have died within us. And we plug along, one day at a time, just trying to be faithful. But that sense of the mission is gone. Perhaps Jesus wants to remind us of the beginnings, of how things started, to get us back on track. How is Jesus reminding you know about the beginnings, about the flush of life you had in him? Remember the ways he’s reached out to you and showed you his power and presence. Sometimes, these times have a hold on us.
Make a note about these kinds of times, and put it somewhere you remember. Or journal about it. I have a book coming out with InterVarsity Press in April 2008. Early plug: it’s called True Story: A Christianity Worth Believing In. But I just got my editorial feedback a couple of days ago. It’s about an inch thick, from 12 different respondents, and because they’re trying to be helpful, they’re critiquing the book thoroughly. It’s good to do that now before it comes to press, but it’s a bit to swallow at first.
In the middle of that funk, I remember a time that happened at church. I was sitting over there, and writing the first draft of the book. I didn’t want to do it for me. And so I offered it up to God. I said, if he didn’t want me writing this, then I’ll quit. And I meant it. And I heard three words: "Bless my church." And tears ran down my cheeks, grateful for the chance to bless his people. Since then, almost a year and a half has passed. I’ve been rejected by two publishers, and then finally was picked up by the first publisher that rejected me. And now, as I am in a bit of funk, I remember what God told me. It doesn’t make me giddy, but keeps me grounded and puts things in perspective.
Where is God trying to take you back? Where are the footprints of his faithfulness in your life? Let Jesus take you back to the beginnings. But after he takes you to the beginnings, let him in further.
III. Jesus enters the broken places to restore your call
For Peter in particular, he must’ve felt terribly ashamed. Remember the promises that Peter made. But he ran. Peter probably didn’t even want to talk about it. But Jesus would bring up the pain. He’ll go to the toughest spot. Read John 21:15-19.
We see that Peter was hurt when he brought it up. Three times. Of course he was hurt. And of course, Jesus knew that it would be painful for him. But he still wades into the pain. He still reaches out. He still works him at this greatest trial, to release him for greater freedom. This rings true in the heart of the gospel. There is forgiveness. And instead of ignoring the past, Jesus comes straight into the hard places „o the failures, the hurts, the hard places „o and makes spring when it seems like winter. All of it so that he can be restored to follow Jesus. To make a difference in his name. He restored him for better.
He wants to enter the broken places and meet you there. For Peter, he was a failure. For many others, it could be another place of hurt or disappointment. But Jesus takes them back to the places where it hurts. Are you feeling like you’ve disqualified yourself for true service in the Kingdom? None of you have blown it as bad as Peter, the one who was destined to lead. And he blows it larger than all of us. And his cockiness has turned to humility. And he can fully serve. Our failures and pains give us access to greater life in the Kingdom.
One of the greatest place of failure for me has to do with the area of relationships and discerning God’s voice. One of the earliest identified gifts for me is the one of discernment. I had an innate sense that something was from God or not, whether from a preacher or a friend. Weird, huh? But when I was a senior in college, I went down to Providence for a Praise Night at a time when I had major doubts about staying with my girlfriend. The presence was thick. I literally saw a fog hover over the people. And I heard God say as clear as I heard my call to ministry: he said I’m supposed to marry that girl.
After five years of on-and-off, I went into a spiritual depression. If I could blow that call, then I can blow any call. So I didn’t trust myself to hear from God, which formed the basis of my faith. So for a year and a half, it was tough getting out of bed. I was doing ministry on fumes.
But it’s funny. The summer before I met my wife, Jinhee, I went out to Korea to work at a church, and I was given an American supervisor. We’re getting to know each other as we hike up Namsan, a hill in the middle of Seoul. As we go up, my jaw drops as he tells me about how he felt like he heard God’s call to marry someone. But after a tumultuous seven year relationship, they broke it off. And he was recently married to someone else. I couldn’t believe it. Parallel lives. A coincidence?
I told him how I went through the same thing, and I don’t trust myself to hear God’s voice. So I asked him: what did you make of that? And he said, he didn’t know. To have all these coincidences, and yet have no answers is even more frustrating. But a month later, my supervisor talked to a prophet known in Asia, and asked him out about predicament. And the prophet replied, "Relationships are the greatest area for deception for young people." And we had been crossing physical boundaries while we dated: how could we hear clearly? So you can trust his voice in many areas, but make sure you get extra accountability when it comes to relationships. And it’s into the deep I went, and found healing.
So when I finally met Jinhee, I was still a little hesitant. She seemed perfect, but I didn’t know how to proceed. Ask God? But I can’t trust myself here. Or don’t ask? And in the middle of a prayer time two weeks after meeting Jinhee, I asked God and heard the words, "You already know." And it was the perfect way to say it. I had gone against my normal instincts to be with my ex. And here, I knew that everything in me lined up to be with her. And my friends blessed it. So here we are.
What’s your block? Where do you feel like you’ve really let God down? Or he’s let you down? He wants to meet you in the places where you hurt, to release you for the Kingdom. Don’t just go back to what you know to escape, but let God take you back to the beginnings and let him heal the times of hurt and failure. And in that, may you be released to be an agent of the Kingdom Come.
As we move into a time of prayer, think about the places of failure and hurt toward God.
