Text: Romans 14:13-23
Title: Gray Areas Pt. 2
(Guidelines For Living Together)
13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this-- not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way. 14 I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.
19 So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. 20 Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats and gives offense. 21 It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles.
22 The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. 23 But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.
I. Don’t cause your brother to stumble- 13
II. Don’t hurt your brother- 14-15
III. Don’t destroy your brother’s faith- 15
IV. Don’t ruin your witness- 16-19
V. Don’t make a big deal out of little things- 20-21
VI. Don’t flaunt your liberty or force your preferences- 22-23
I’ve been gone for a while so I thought I would start things off with a quick review of where we left off three weeks ago. If you remember we began studying this passage in chapter 14 of Romans that deals with the issue of gray areas in the Christian life.
Paul deals with two current gray areas of his day, eating meat that had been sacrificed to idols and celebrating certain religious holidays. Those issues aren’t really things we deal with today, but we have whole new list of gray areas.
We talked about how things like movies and music and drinking alcohol and many other cultural things can be gray areas.
In general a gray area is an area of life where the Bible neither specifically condemns an action nor condones an action. It is often an area where people might have a tendency to take something too far or something that has a high potential to cause sin, such as drinking.
Some Christians deal with the problem of gray areas by simply putting everything into black and white categories. There are some churches who only sing songs out of the book of Psalms. They feel that if a song isn’t in the Bible then it is dishonoring to God or something.
Often people have a strong desire to honor and please God so they avoid everything that might be seen as negative. This leads into legalism and a miserable life. It might be easier on one level to simple avoid things and separate from society, but that is not what Paul had in mind and that is not the joy-filled Christian life.
Those people who thought they were extra godly because they avoided meat and always celebrated the Sabbath were actually called weak in faith. The strong believer was the person who understood their total and complete freedom in Christ and recognized that their holiness came from Jesus, not themselves.
In the first 12 verses of chapter 14 Paul encourages both the weak believers and the strong believers to show a high degree of respect and acceptance towards each other. The weak believer was not to condemn the strong believer for eating meat. The strong believer is not to judge or look down on the weak believer because of their personal convictions.
Paul’s main goal here is to emphasize the need for unity and grace and peace within the body. He understands that the church is a group of people who are very different and very unique. Maintaining unity in the midst of such diversity is a tough thing. But he wants all of us to understand that arguing over the gray areas is completely unnecessary.
We need unity on the essentials, but charity on the non-essentials. One of my pet peeves is people who major on the minors. You know what I mean? People who don’t seem to understand the difference between something essential to the Christian life and something secondary.
One of the most important Christian character traits in all of Paul’s teaching is unity. The ability to put aside our own personal preferences for the sake of others. The ability to place others first. The ability to show love and grace and acceptance; even when it might be easier to simple storm off in a huff.
The message of chapter 14 isn’t really about gray areas, it is about how we should live together as believers in Christ. It is a message of acceptance and love and unity. It is an attempt by Paul to get us to work together well.
In the next few verses we will see Paul outline some very straightforward guidelines for living together. Follow along as I read 14:13-23…
Over in the first part of this chapter Paul basically says, listen we are free. We are free from the law, free from legalism, and free to honor God any way we want. He tells the weak believer to not judge the strong believer. He affirms that both the weak believer and the strong believer are honoring God.
In our SS class Eric Osborn put it this way- In the first part of chapter 14 Paul has us remove the chains of legalism. But in the second part of chapter 14 we pick those chains right up again. Not because of legalism, but out of love.
Verse 13 says, “13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this-- not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.”
So the very first guideline for living together that Paul gives is, don’t cause your brother to stumble. He says, no more judging each other. Stop doing that. Stop looking down on people. Stop thinking less of them. Stop trying to force them to conform to your personal convictions. They have their own convictions.
So the rule is, no more judging each other when it comes to these gray areas, instead Paul says, determine this… not to put an obstacle or stumbling block in a brother’s way. No more judging them, instead start loving them. Start caring for others more. Start putting them first. Be willing to sacrifice for them. Be careful of the spiritual health and wellbeing of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
This is a command that is primarily aimed at the strong believer. It is targeted at the person who has a wider view of their Christian liberties. Don’t allow your liberties to cause someone else to fall into sin. This is a tough balance to strike, but an important thing for us to consider.
What does this look like? How can we achieve this goal? Does it mean that we need to live like a weak believer simply even though we are a strong believer? Does this mean we have to avoid anything that might be viewed as offensive to someone else? I don’t think that is what Paul is suggesting.
First of all we need to understand each other. We need to know where the boundaries are and what the weaknesses of our brothers and sisters are. We need to be transparent and open with each other.
If you know that someone has had a drinking problem in the past you wouldn’t offer them some wine when they come over for dinner. That’s just common sense. Even people who aren’t believers know to show respect and tact to those who have had a problem.
If you have a friend who has a gambling problem, don’t invite him to Reno with you. If you have a relative who has an issue with secular music, then turn the channel to the Fish when they are in the car. Don’t put a temptation out in front of someone who has strong convictions about certain things.
Don’t ever let your liberty lead someone else to sin. Look again at verse 14-15…
“14 I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love.”
Paul reiterates that nothing is really unclean in itself, but we make it unclean. If your conscience tells you that drinking a beer is a sin, then it is a sin. If your conscience tells you that eating meat sacrificed to idols is wrong, then it is wrong. Paul says, don’t hurt your brother over something as unimportant as food.
If a fellow believer is hurt because of the way you handle this gray area, then you are no longer showing love to them. Even though the chains of legalism of the law might have been lifted from us, there are times when we need to voluntarily put them right back on out of love for our brother. It’s not because we have to, it is because we choose to. There are times when we need to choose to refrain from drinking so someone doesn’t get hurt. There might be times when we alter our lives or change our plans in order to prevent someone from falling into sin.
Putting aside your own personal preferences for the sake of others is one of the greatest acts of love a Christian can perform. It is a sign that you are setting aside your own pride. You are acting in a selfless way. It is easy to say you love someone, but differing to them is a way to show that you really mean it.
There is a lot at stake here. Not only is the unity of the body at stake, but the spiritual walk of that other person is a t stake. Look at the last part of verse 15… “Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died.”
Do not destroy your brother’s faith. Don’t lead them into something that will be a sin for them. Don’t cause their relationship with God to be strained simply because of something as silly as food. Be willing to let it go for their sake. Recognize that their convictions are important to them.
Paul addresses this very same issue in more detail over in 1 Corinthians 8. The language there sounds very familiar to Paul’s language here. It says…
“1 Corinthians 8:9-13 9 But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if someone sees you, who have knowledge, dining in an idol’s temple, will not his conscience, if he is weak, be strengthened to eat things sacrificed to idols? 11 For through your knowledge he who is weak is ruined, the brother for whose sake Christ died. 12 And so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble.”
Here in this text Paul is offering up a case study. What happens when someone who is weak sees you who are strong, sitting in Applebee’s drinking a margarita? Won’t they be encouraged to drink themselves.
Paul vows to do nothing that might lead someone else into sin. He even goes so far as to swear off meat forever so that he never causes someone to be led into sin. Are we willing to make the same sacrifices for others? Are we willing to freely and gladly set things aside for the sake of the spiritual wellbeing of our friends and our family and our fellow brothers in Christ?
Christianity is not a competition. Although some people sure seem to approach it that way. It isn’t my faith against your faith or us against them. Christianity is supposed to be a relationship. We grow and mature and learn from each other. We lean on each other. We put others first. We run the race in such a way as to ensure that we all cross the finish line in a way that honors God. If there is something that I am doing that might trip you up, I need to get it out of the way.
The next danger with gray areas is that sometimes our behavior might cause non-believers to be offended. Don’t do anything that might ruin your witness to others. Each of us who claims to be a follower of Jesus Christ is telling a story. Each of us communicates something about what it means to be a Christian by the way in which we live our lives. People see things in us that we might not even see.
I became a Christian when I was in 7th grade. I don’t think I was a bad kid, but I wasn’t the most conscientious or the calmest kid in class. But when I came to faith in Christ something in me began to change. At the end of my 8th grade year I was given a couple of different awards. One of them was the buff monkey award. I could lift the most weights in PE class. I worked hard to get that award. The other award was one that I hadn’t been working for and was surprised to receive. It was the most improved student award.
Something about my attitude and behavior had changed over the course of that year in a way that my teachers had noticed. I don’t think I had noticed it, but apparently my teachers did.
We all say so much more with our actions and our attitudes than we do with our words. We all have a witness. Paul doesn’t want us to do anything to ruin that witness. Look at verses 16-19…
Again, Paul main concern here if for unity among believers so that we will maintain a strong witness to unbelievers. If we allow things like eating and drinking to create huge rifts among us then we will be dismissed by the unbelieving world. We need to be unique. We need to be unified. We need to live in such a way that the rest of the world notices a difference.
Paul says, don’t let something that is a good thing be spoken of as evil. Don’t let this gracious gift of freedom be seen as a license to sin. Don’t let the fact that we are unbound by the Jewish law be seen as immorality.
I think the greatest weight of responsibility here falls on those who are the weaker believers. There is a real danger in conveying the message to the world that Christianity is about a list of rules. It is so easy for people to mistakenly think that not drinking or not smoking, or not watching movies, is what makes you a Christian.
But Paul reminds us, the Kingdom of God is not about eating or drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Again, we are not Christians because of what we do, but we are Christians because of who we know.
Let me give you one general example of how secondary issues can obscure the true message and damage your witness…
There is this widespread fad taking place in a lot of Baptist churches where they are removing the word “Baptist” from their church name. The thinking is that for some reason the word Baptist has a bad connotation in the general population’s mind and can be an obstacle to some people coming to church.
Just for the record I am not a big fan of this idea. It just always seemed like some kind of bait and switch tactic. Like if we change the sign out front that’s going to fool people to coming to a Baptist church. I might be a little old fashioned, but I like things to be simple and very straightforward.
I first came across this phenomenon a number of years ago in one of my seminary classes. I had the opportunity to do a little investigating about this fad. I even ended up writing an article for the local Christian newspaper about the subject.
I found that this name change fad began in the late 1990’s and seemed to correspond with some bad press that the Southern Baptist Church had received. I don’t know if you remember in 1997 or 98 the Southern Baptists had this boycott of Disneyland because they were offering benefits to gay couples? They also got a lot of negative attention because of things they said at their conference about the role of women at home and in the church.
These things weren’t necessarily wrong, but they became exaggerated by the media. The focus of the Southern Baptist Convention is to honor Jesus Christ, but that message got hijacked by secondary issues.
Paul’s warning here is that we don’t let this happen to us. Don’t let gray areas or minor issues be the things that define our faith. Don’t make it seem like what we eat or drink or who we support is what makes us Christian. Live in such a way as to make the gospel of Jesus Christ shine through.
The next point is a continuation of this argument. Don’t make a big deal out of little things. This is Paul’s way of telling some Christians that they just need to chill out. Don’t be so hyper-sensitive about every little thing. Don’t constantly jump down each others throat. Stop freaking out about stuff that is really not that important.
I think we all need a reminder from time to time that just because something is important to me, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is at the top of God’s priority list. Look at verses 20-21…
Each one of us has a common responsibility. Regardless of whether we are weak or strong, we each have a calling to help build each other up. May we never tear someone down over a gray area issue. May we never cause a brother to fall into sin over a gray area issue. May we never allow unimportant things take the place of the greatness of God and a love for each other.
Let’s be a place full of grace and patience and love and acceptance for each other. Honestly, I really believe that we already do this very well. This is not a judgmental church or a place where we look down our noses at each other. I am consistently moved at the high level of compassion and acceptance that you all show towards each other.
I think I am a living testimony to your love and acceptance. I wouldn’t be here if you all weren’t so amazingly gracious. I never want to take that for granted or ignore it.
I’ve made some mistakes and learned some things the hard way, but you are patient with me. Thank you.
Finally, Paul drives home again the importance of not flaunting your liberty or forcing your preferences. Look at verses 22-23…
Verse 22 is saying to the strong believer, make sure that your convictions are by faith. And verse 23 is saying to the weak believer, don’t be tempted to do something that your conscience tells you is sin. Each side needs to hold fast to their faith on that matter.
The strong believer doesn’t need to condemn a particular action in order to be loving and respectful of the weak believer. And the weak believer has a responsibility to not go against their own personal convictions.
If you are a strong believer, hold fast to your convictions and don’t let others condemn them. But at the same time, never flaunt that liberty or rub it in, or exorcise it in a way that might cause damage to someone else. Simply be aware of those around you.
If you are a weak believer don’t force your personal preferences on someone else. Don’t make someone else condemn an action that his conscience approves and that God accepts. Recognize that we all have different convictions about certain things.
So to recap, the central message from Paul is that we as a group of very diverse people need to learn to be unified. We need to always work together. We need to recognize the fact that we are different and not let that fact drive us apart. There is nothing Satan would like more than to tear us apart internally.
In this life there will always be gray areas. We are going to have differences of opinion and different convictions. That was true in Paul’s day and it is still true today. A real test of our love for God and love for each other is how we handle these differences. It’s easy to get along when all of us look the same and act the same. But the church isn’t a factory for making clones.
OK, so now we have learned about gray areas. We have talked about the difference between weak and strong believers. We have seen the need to be loving and gracious with each other. In the first part of chapter 15 Paul takes a moment to explain to us why this emphasis on unity and grace is so important. We have already talked about a number of reasons why unity in the body is important. But Paul wants to really make sure that we fully understand what is at stake.
Next week we will take a look at the first part of chapter 15 and get a clear understanding as to why we should show grace in these gray areas. I’ll give you a hint, the answer has something to do with glorifying God.
