Control over ourselves can be a very difficult skill to both obtain and maintain, especially when we are the one who has been wronged. The first thing that comes to mind is a fitting punishment for the person on the other end. Whether it is our marriages, our friendships, our co-workers or even dare I say our enemies and those who seem to find enjoyment in annoying us, harmony must be preserved and harmony means controlling ourselves. Think to yourself and see if you have ever said any of these phrases: 1) he’ll get his 2) he deserves a beating (or any other violent phrase) 3) I’ll give him what he deserves 4) he doesn’t deserve mercy. I have said at least three of these at one point or another, usually in really bad traffic. You know the guy that punches past you in his little hopped up mosquito/ weed eater sounding car and then slams his brakes to turn right in front of you. Instances like this make me want to disassemble his weed eater car and part it out. However, control keeps me from doing anything like that. Instead of reacting and acting like a fool, a little control goes a long way in clearing up misunderstandings.
Today we will talk about how we can gain a little more control over ourselves by understanding and exercising mercy. A better understanding of the nature of mercy should probably come first. “A mother once approached Napoleon seeking a pardon for her son. The emperor replied that the young man had committed a certain offense twice and justice demanded death. "But I don’t ask for justice," the mother explained. "I plead for mercy." "But your son does not deserve mercy," Napoleon replied. "Sir," the woman cried, "it would not be mercy if he deserved it, and mercy is all I ask for." "Well, then," the emperor said, "I will have mercy." And he spared the woman’s son.” Mercy would not be mercy if it was deserved. This is definitely the hardest aspect of the entire idea of mercy. We feel everyone should get their just desserts. However when it comes time that we should get ours, it is much easier to wish the tables were turned. We take mercy much more easily than we give it to others who have hurt us. For instance when the cop pulls us over and shows that we were going 20 over, that’s a reckless driving offense and punishable with jail time and a large fine. Yet, he decides to write the ticket for 15 over so that the fine and punishment aren’t nearly as stiff. That is definitely receiving mercy. However, when someone decides to tell lies behind your back, you may go and gossip about them to other people. That is your form of retaliation.
Jesus has another idea for these situations. More than anything else, Jesus wants you to have a happy and fulfilled life in Him. He doesn’t want the people he created at odds with each other. In the beatitudes Jesus tells us the secret to the control that leads to harmony with each other. Matthew 5:7 says “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” Great joy will come to the person who gives mercy freely because they will receive mercy from God above. What makes this the best of all is that you have the key. You hold the key to harmony; its name is mercy. You have the choice of pardoning someone from punishment or “giving it to them.” Now there is good news and bad news according to this scripture. Which would you like to hear first?
Bad News – 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful…”
The bad news means that you have to give mercy to others before you will receive mercy from God. Think of mercy as the predecessor to forgiveness. You first have to give up your right to retaliate before you can forgive someone. You cannot forgive someone and then continue to plot revenge for their evil deed. When you enter those situations where you feel that you need to retaliate, many times if not all the time you are running on a reaction. You are no longer acting under a thought out and controlled mindset. You have chosen to give up your faculties and just get angry. You may throw a fit or have a cow as some would put it. You can lose control and once you’ve lost control it is almost inevitable that you will destroy some of the harmony between you and another person. Yes, they may have wronged you but you could have preserved some of the relationship.
Difficulties abound in this area of life. Just understanding that giving mercy is crucial to living can be hard. Separating mercy from forgiveness also poses a challenge. Making ourselves do this seems to be the hardest however. I call this “giving” of mercy the bad news because it is not in our nature to be so forgiving. Let’s be honest, haven’t you ever just really wanted to get back at someone? Lisa Mueller and I have a very funny “friendship” of sorts although some of you would call it a duel of the goofballs. We trade practical jokes back and forth from time to time. One day when Lisa was walking forward I jokingly put my foot out as she passed and she didn’t see it, so she about fell. I would have felt bad had she fallen and hurt herself. Don’t pity her too much because as far as I know she is still plotting to get me back for that. She once put a plop of lotion on her hand and then used the dirty-rotten trick of telling me that I hadn’t shaken her hand that Sunday morning. I felt so guilty that I shook her hand to find myself holding some frilly-nilly lotion. We do it all in good fun but if we didn’t have some mercy for each other, it could escalate into a full scale war. If she gave me what I deserve for all that I dish out to her, I would find a bunch of wild pigs turning my office into a manure farm. No, that is not to give any of you any ideas.
Do yourself a favor and think about all the people and problems you have dealt with over the last year. I have preached through the scriptures about giving up anger and hatred. I have preached about moving forward in life and finding the next place you need to go. Now I am preaching about giving up your right to retaliate against someone. Do you still hold any grudges or hard feelings against someone? Do you wish they would get what they deserve? Have you given them mercy? Have you given up your right to retaliation against them? Have you given up your desire to see them receive punishment? The bad news means that if you do not give them mercy, you will not receive mercy from God for your many mistakes. This is why I said you hold the key. It is up to you to choose whether or not you will give them mercy and keep harmony among men. “be at peace with all men, as far as it is possible…” If you don’t give mercy, you will not receive mercy from God or from men for that matter. Look at Saddam Hussein. He had little or no mercy for his fellow people. The people then showed him no mercy for his trial and execution. I will not answer but I wonder if Saddam will receive mercy from God?
Good News – 5:7 “…for they shall receive mercy.”
The good news means that you will receive mercy for as long as you are willing to give mercy. The verse says that those who give mercy will have great joy. Although the reward is found in the second half of the verse, mercy also serves a few other purposes as well. The main one I have found releases me from the responsibility of getting revenge. Mercy allows me to lower my guard and put down my weapons because I give up my right to retaliate against others. No matter how much I feel they deserve to be punished, I can give up my right to punish them and move on.
Think of the various reasons God might have for punishing you. It doesn’t take long to fill a few pages with the ways in which we as human beings fail. We choose to commit sin. We choose to commit immorality and adultery. You may choose to have sex outside of marriage or get completely plastered on alcohol. You may lie to get out of going to work one day or you may cheat on your taxes or your spouse. Each of us has our own faults and failures. Each of us has our reasons for which we need to repent. Now, how would you feel if God gave you what you deserved for each count of sin you have? Ouch! The final punishment is eternity in hell but I can guarantee that our lives won’t be very pleasant until we get there either if God did not give mercy. Now think of all the times you have failed and yet God and others have lowered your punishment; the police officer who lowers your ticket, the college professor that didn’t fail you and allowed you to make up a test, the boss who let you call in sick on a day he absolutely needed you and told you not to call in on. Mercy seems to be coming from everywhere. It is always easier for the one receiving it than the one giving it. You receive it so well, how about giving it too?
“Years after the death of President Calvin Coolidge, this story came to light. In the early days of his presidency, Coolidge awoke one morning in his hotel room to find a cat burglar going through his pockets. Coolidge spoke up, asking the burglar not to take his watch chain because it contained an engraved charm he wanted to keep. Coolidge then engaged the thief in quiet conversation and discovered he was a college student who had no money to pay his hotel bill or buy a ticket back to campus. Coolidge counted $32 out of his wallet -- which he had also persuaded the dazed young man to give back! -- declared it to be a loan, and advised the young man to leave the way he had come so as to avoid the Secret Service!” – Today in the Word, October 8, 1992
Coolidge could have done most anything to the boy and yet chose to show some mercy. The good news is that God will give you mercy as long as you are willing to extend that mercy to others. Let’s not forget the other benefits of giving mercy. Peace of mind that you no longer have to do something to them. You don’t have to be shackled to the chains of a grudge or anger any longer. You don’t have to be the one who gives them what they deserve. “Vengeance is mine says the Lord.” Let God deal with them. You should only concern yourself with your own actions and reactions. You are not responsible for their actions. You are only responsible for releasing your grip from retaliation.
Whether we act like Saddam or Coolidge is up to us. Saddam created horrible conditions that bred a people who hated him. Coolidge on the other hand gave out mercy and at least one young man loved him. Which would you rather be? This verse says that the person who gives mercy will receive mercy. The person who does not give mercy will not receive mercy. Mercy is not deserved; it is a gift given freely. If we desire more harmony in our marriages, friendships, and lives in general, we will need to gain some control over our willingness to extend mercy to others. Saddam didn’t; Coolidge did. We hold the key to harmony with our God and with our fellow man. We hold the key to harmony. We have the power through Christ to control our actions and reactions. That power is mercy. All we have to do is give it to release ourselves from the shackles of bitterness and grudges. You choose; Saddam or Coolidge, will you take the bad news for the good or will you refuse to give and never receive?
