THE CHURCH IS A FAMILY… All of us who trust in Jesus Christ: brothers & sisters in the Lord this morning…
• That’s just something you have to get into your mind.
• THE CHURCH, THIS CHURCH, ANY CHURCH… is a family!
• Now I would say we’re a typical family, a normal family.
• Instead of flesh & blood, we’re connected by faith & His blood.
SO AS WE WALK IN HERE KNOWING THAT, we won’t be surprised by the flaws & failures of others.
• No… no way, we won’t get bummed out but, we’ll be ready.
Gal. 6.1-2 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
It no longer is a “WHY ISN’T THIS BEING DONE? WHY ARE YOU DOING FOR ME? ISN’T THE CHURCH HERE TO SERVE ME?”
• It becomes, “Here I am, what can I do? Where can I serve? I’m a part of this family. I belong. I want to help!”
It’s true in any family situation, there is often frustrations & friction; pains & problems.
• There are times of deep joy and times of deep pain.
• Yet Jesus has still brought us into this glorious family.
Romans 8.15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
• And everyone of you belong here… have a place in the Body.
NOW when tough times come within the family.
• We don’t need to be surprised with them, OR stunned by them.
• There will be weaknesses & frailties in our brothers & sisters.
• But that’s where the AGAPE LOVE of Jesus comes in.
• We’re not just ANY family, but the family of God with His Holy Spirit flowing in and through us!
• Let’s look at Ephesians 4 then turn over to John 13.35
THE CHURCH IS a family that FUNCTIONS, a family that FOLLOWS, a family that FEEDS on the faithfulness of God.
• YES, the Church is the BRIDE of Christ, waiting for Bridegroom.
• YES, The Church is the PILLAR & GROUND of truth.
• AND YES… the church is a FAMILY. The family of God made up of imperfect, growing, PEOPLE!
• People who Jesus died for & rose again.
• Men & Women for whom He laid his life down.
APP: Have you made the decision to follow Jesus yet? To surrender in repentance. To follow in joy. To have your sins forgiven through the blood of Jesus!? To respond to your need of forgiveness?
John 3.3 Jesus answered and said to him, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
John 6.37 "All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.
John 6.47 "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life.
THE FAMILY… and what a great family you guys are! We love you guys so much and just enjoy being a part of the family here!
• SO we come to some practical insights on how to relate with one another in the church.
I. (5:1-2) FELLOW BELIEVERS
1. (1-2) How to treat others.
a. Timothy was a younger man, perhaps mid 20’s, early 30’s.
b. He was young enough, we know, because Paul told him not to let anyone despise his youth.
c. Timothy… be careful as you minister to others.
WHEN Guys are young, there is that tendency to be super-zealous for the Lord and feel as though you have all the answers.
• But as the years with the Lord continue to increase, you realize that you didn’t quite know as much as you though you did.
• I’ve found that I was a lot smarter at 18 than I am now!
• Mistakes happen, faults are revealed, humility comes.
• And wisdom comes from your walk with the Lord.
Prov. 2.6 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
SO… Don’t rebuke an OLDER MAN
• Don’t chew him out, scold, reprimand an older man.
• Don’t go around giving the older guys a piece of your mind!
• But rather exhort them as a father. Respect & encourage them.
NOTE: Treat the younger men as brothers, respecting those are older and receiving those that are younger.
2. (2) Older Women & Younger Women.
a. The older women can come alongside of you as mothers.
b. Treat them that way Timothy. Respect & honor them.
c. The Younger women treat as sisters. Protect & Defend them.
d. That’s the way to interact in the church family, treating those of the opposite sex with all purity.
1 Thess. 4.3-4 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
NOTE: It’s easy to see a great relationship disintegrate in the church. -- IT STARTS OFF with a sister-like relationship.
• You’re praying together. Studying the Word together.
• And in that time the agape of the Lord turns into sloppy agape.
• Rather than AGAPE LOVE, it’s EROS, sexually charged!
• Then the relationship is quickly broken & scarred.
APP: That’s why we strongly encourage the young men to have other men as close prayer partners, and young women with women.
• There’s wisdom in not giving the enemy an opportunity.
• In the church family be CAREFUL, keep your eyes wide open and use the wisdom from the Lord!
II. (5:3-16) QUALIFIED WIDOWS
1. (3-16) The widows who are really widows.
a. We see from the beginning of the church in Acts 6 that there was some kind of care given to the widows in the church.
b. There was no social security, no IRA’s or 401k’s, no life insurance policies. So if a woman lost her husband, she would be in a difficult place.
Deut. 10.18 "He administers justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing.
James 1.27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.
BUT IN THE CARE OF THE FAMILY there were guidelines laid out.
• Honor the widows if they are REALLY WIDOWS… then he begins to give criteria for the help.
• The church must be careful not to waste its limited resources on people who are not really in need.
SO (4-5,8, 16) is the WIDOW UTTERLY alone?
• If a widow had relatives, they should care for her so that the church might use its resources to care for those with no family.
V4 – Are there any children or grandchildren?
• It’s their responsibility to take care of her, not the church.
• There were those in the church then that were saying, “Hey, we don’t need to take of mom or grandma, let the church do it.”
• No, the first place to look for care is within the personal family
• Notice at the end… its’ good and acceptable before God!
1 Tim. 5.8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
NOTE: The widows are to be tended to by the family primarily.
• Look at v16, don’t let the church be burdened when there is family available to care for her needs.
• It’s up to you as a child, as a grandchild to take care of your parents and grandparents.
• It’s BIBLICAL, it’s RIGHT, it’s PROPER for the child of God!
THE FAMILY TAKING CARE OF THE FAMILY. That’s an important principle as we raise our kids in the ways of the Lord.
• Guys, your kids time at church, can’t be the only spiritual direction they receive all week.
• We are partners alongside of you, co-laborers in raising a godly generation… but 1 ½ hours a week will not displace or replace the 166 ½ they have outside of these walls.
• Family devotions… Dads. Moms. Leading your kids to Jesus.
NOTE: The world says, NO Jesus, you don’t need Him.
• The world says, ‘I’ll fill that time’. I’ll feed your mind. I’ll instruct and teach you the ways of life!
• BUT parents, we must break the cycle and lead our homes.
• Our youth pastors and Sunday school teachers will lay down their lives for our kids… but it’s not enough, they need it from us too.
V5-6 – Is she seeking the Lord in her desolation & loss?
• The widow had a choice with this new time on her hands?
• Would she seek the Lord and serve the church? OR
• Would she seek pleasure and parties looking for fulfillment?
• Spiritually, where is she? Is she trusting in God and seeking His will night and day?
• Is she praying, interceding, Discipling the younger ladies?
• Because if not, notice v6 says she’s dead while she lives.
• She might as well just go to heaven, as her life is wasted in sin.
• The church can’t support the sinful lifestyle of a widow in rebellion to the Word of God.
1 Tim. 5.7 And these things command, that they may be blameless.
V9 – Is she over 60 years of age?
• Don’t take one in that is under 60 years old. Minimum age.
V9b-10 – How was her home life?
• Was she the wife of one man? Reported well for good works?
• Does she have a servant’s heart?
• Was she lodging strangers and refreshing the saints?
• There were the spiritual qualifications for widows to be care for.
NOW if the church does care for them, what do they do?
• Well it looks as if they became staff members serving daily in the church. Godly women, given to prayer and service, just like it was when they were married.
V11-12 – But refuse the younger widow.
• BUT Don’t let the younger ones come into this number.
• They will eventually want to remarry & thus be doubled minded.
• They get taken in, then meet a man and marry.
• Then the condemnation begins. What did I do? Should I have stayed single, serving at the church?
• Then they are tempted with idleness, busybodies, gossips.
• If the church supported them, they would have too much free time on their hands and perhaps make grave mistakes.
• You know… “Idle hands are often the devil’s tools.”
V13-15 – So let them re-marry.
• SO they won’t learn to be idle, wandering around doing nothing.
• Gossiping and being busybodies, saying things they shouldn’t.
SO v14, the younger widows should get remarried and bear children.
• They should manage the house, literally take care of.
• There’s nothing wrong with wives handling the checking account and managing the affaires of the home.
Prov. 31.11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
• And in this house that’s in order, the enemy will not have an opportunity to accuse or condemn!
• For some have already left the church and have turned aside after Satan! Sad.
III. (5:17-25) FAITHFUL LEADERS
1. (17-18) PROVIDE FOR the elders, the overseers.
a. The church is to care for the elders, the spiritual leaders.
b. HONOR: The same word used to honor mother & father.
c. The church is to support & respect those that are working in the Word. Then Paul quotes…
d. First from Deut. 25:14 & Luke 10:7.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE BIBLE STUDENTS.
• Paul does something very interesting here. He quotes Deut and He quotes Jesus and puts them on the same level. Why?
• Well, later Paul will instruct us in 2 Timothy 3:16.
• Peter tells us in 2 Peter 1:21
2 Peter 1.21 for prophecy never came by the will of man, but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit.
THE BIBLE, OLD & NEW TESTAMENTS ARE EQUAL IN AUTHORITY, EQUAL IN VALUE, and PROFITABLE FOR US TODAY!
2. (19) PROTECT the Elders.
a. Don’t listen to slander against spiritual leaders. Just don’t!
b. Don’t even entertain it, unless there are 2 or 3 witnesses
c. The Accuser of the Brethren is accusing spiritual leaders today, trying to tear them down & toss them aside.
NOTE: The enemy wants to destroy churches and will try by attacking the leadership, whether the issue is true or it’s just a campaign of whispering and gossiping. Don’t let it happen to you.
Prov. 26.20 Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.
Well PASTOR ED, I don’t gossip. Good. But is that true? While you may not speak it, do you participate in gossip by the ear?
• That’s not gossip, that’s obedience. Didn’t James say?
James 1.19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
• That’s not what he means Guys…
• Please, listen carefully, and prayerfully on this one.
• DON’T RECEIVE AN ACCUSATION against a leader and DON’T SPREAD THAT ACCUSATION through the grapevine!
• STOP IT IF IT GETS TO YOU. “can I quote you on that?”
• “Let’s go to him or her and talk about this!’
• And… if there is an issue, don’t find the 2 or 3 witnesses right away… instead, follow Jesus in Matthew 18.
Matthew 18.15 "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
NOTE: There’s a spiritual process that will solve 90% of all issues.
• And if he doesn’t listen or repent, then other witnesses get involved and help not to destroy, but to restore!
• AND if there IS sin, unrepentant & blatant sin… then v20ff
3. (20-21) REBUKE Sinning leaders.
a. Again, this is key to church discipline.
b. God takes sin seriously and so should His church.
c. NOW does this mean that he should come to the pulpit on Sunday and repent to the church… it depends.
d. If this would happen here, I would have the leader repent in front of his peers, those he served among…
e. Then among those he served & influenced in the church.
f. But it’s not for humiliation, but restoration & proclamation.
g. This church takes sin seriously, and responds accordingly!
4. (22) Be Careful who you choose Timothy.
a. Earlier Paul said: 1 Tim 3:10
b. So again, a quick reminder to be careful in choosing and laying hands on those serving in the fellowship.
c. Give it time, let a guy serve. Let a person minister and watch his life, watch how he interacts in good & tough times.
d. Keep yourself pure… because your choices affect others.
5. (23) Drink a little wine.
a. Again, remember, Paul is not condoning drunkenness or even casual drinking for Timothy… wisdom in your sickness.
AGAIN we covered this in an earlier study… wine isn’t for leaders.
• It’s deceptive, destructive, detrimental!
• Of the 213 times wine is mentioned, 80% are negative!
• Look with me at Proverbs 23:31ff
I HAVE GOTTEN SOME RESPONSES from our earlier study about alcohol, most good, some puzzled…
• Wow Pastor, you take a strong stand on drunkenness & alcohol!
• YES, I do. I’m the guy on the other side of the desk listening to the pain & misery it’s caused in the lives of Christians!
• It doesn’t build a person, it destroys. I doesn’t edify, it eats away at the very core of a person’s faith & trust!
• I plead with you, not command you.
• When wine & beer & drunkenness start to build stronger and more faithful Christians, then maybe I’ll change my ways.
• But guys it doesn’t… it only takes down, even the strongest!
6. (24-25) Sins are sometimes seen, sometimes hidden.
a. Hey, the Lord will be the revealer of all issues you need to handle Tim. Just trust Him as you watch the people.
