WHERE DOES IT HURT?
Text: Ephesians 5:22-6:4
Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5:22-6:4
INTRODUCTION:
1. In this series we have tried to discuss some of the attributes of families and the individual responsibilities of each family member.
2. We have looked at these areas:
a. We defined the family
b. We looked at the foundation for the home, submission
c. We looked at role of the husband/father
d. We looked at the role of the wife/mother
e. We looked at the role of the children
f. Now we want to put all of this together and see what exactly a family is.
3. To do this we will see two aspects:
a. The family in the social setting
b. The family in the religious setting
4. These two are separate entities but interdependent.
TRANSITION: Let’s begin with the family in the social setting.
I. Families in the social setting
A. To begin with, let us notice that this was important in the rearing of our savior.
1. Luke 2:52, "And Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man."
2. This could easily be the text for this lesson because it introduces both of our issues for discussion.
3. Jesus grew in favor with man.
4. This is the idea of teaching the child to be socially acceptable.
5. He was taught this and it is mentioned by Luke because it is important.
B. "Well," you say, "We are not home here; we are strangers and pilgrims here."
1. That is right, but you try to exist somewhere else.
2. God created this earth to care for us and we must live on it until we are taken to our eternal home.
3. We need to learn to live within its rules and regulations while we abide here.
4. Jesus’ family taught him how to do that. They taught him how to live among people and cooperate with them and get things done.
C. One of the jobs of the family is to socialize children.
1. Socialization is defined as the process of instilling in children the values and beliefs that govern behavior.
2. See, this definition includes the teaching of societal rules by which a culture is governed.
3. In other words, teaching your children how to get along in society.
4. That is different for different cultures.
a. In Ohio if you ask for a Coke you get a Coca Cola. In Mississippi they ask you, "what kind?"
b. In certain Arabic cultures women do not show their faces in public, it is the same as walking around naked in the United States. (Which is not as shameful with some as it should be)
c. Some Asian countries bow instead of shaking hands.
d. In some European countries men kiss the cheek of other men as a greeting. Walk up to someone at Buck’s 66 in Corinth and kiss him and see what happens.
5. Families teach these types of skills to their children.
D. See families are seen as social systems.
1. The structure of families is composed of parts, each having a specific function.
2. Society also has five parts that correspond.
3. For the society these parts are:
a. Family
b. Economics
c. Religion
d. Government
e. Education
4. For the family these parts are:
a. Procreation
b. Socialization
c. Care and protection
d. Help in adapting to changes in society
e. Providing ability to love and be loved
5. Strong family leaders will see these functions and use them to help their family continue to grow.
6. Each part is completely dependent on the other parts.
a. Without procreation socialization cannot occur because there is no one to socialize.
b. Without Socialization, care and protection are difficult because the child does not know the rules for safety in the society.
c. Children cannot love and be loved unless they feel that care and protection and get the needed guidance.
E. Families are important in the social arena for 5 reasons (according to Stephen Barton):
1. Represents what is traditional and stable
2. Most intimate social organization
3. Ubiquitous (Always there)
4. Ties to moral and political concerns
5. Link with religion and higher order of life
F. Families are the foundation for what we learn as we grow.
TRANSITION: Families are important social institutions, but there is more to it than that.
II. Families in religions settings
A. Families were established by God from the very beginning of woman.
1. She was the helper suitable for Adam.
2. She had corresponding aspects that made her the perfect compliment to man and completed the package
3. Man was from that time on to leave father and mother and to cleave to his wife and they would become one flesh.
4. This was the start of the family in the world.
5. Begun by God on that 6th day when he made man.
B. This puts new light on the religious aspect of the family when we consider that God is the one who established families and so he has the right to make rules concerning them and expect those rules to be followed out.
C. See, the other part of the verse in Luke 2:52 says that Jesus grew in favor with God.
1. In fact it says this before saying that he grew in favor with man.
2. He was taught to love God and to study his word.
3. This is how we grow in favor with God.
D. So one main job of families is to teach each other to grow in favor with God.
1. In fact, the word for favor here is the same word that is translated grace many times.
2. In fact, when Paul tells Timothy to "Be strong in the grace that is in Jesus Christ" this is exactly the same word.
a. He tells Timothy to be strong in the grace of the Lord.
b. Families are the means in which one grows in that grace.
c. The word, at its very basic, means grace/favor.
d. There are many aspects of the word and ways it manifests itself.
e. But without it we cannot be saved. (Ephesians 2:8)
3. So families are to teach each other how to grow in the grace of God so that they may be saved through that grace and thereby come to glory with the father and son on the last day.
E. Why is it so important to teach our kids those social skills if our main concern it to teach them to grow in the grace of God?
1. Well, as we saw, Jesus’ family taught this and Luke saw fit to share that with us, that counts for something.
2. I Corinthians 9:22, "To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some."
a. In the verses leading up to this he goes even further:
b. He says that to the slave he became a slave even though he was actually free.
c. To the Jew he was as a Jew
d. To the one without the law he was like one without the law
e. He did all these things so that he could in some way win those in those conditions.
f. Look how he handled those on Mars Hill.
i. He stood in the midst of all those idols.
ii. He studied them.
iii. He knew their own poets well enough to quote them (17:28)
iv. He knew the customs and beliefs of those to whom he spoke.
v. He knew what was important to them and was able to speak their language and work within their customs and traditions in order to propagate the word of God.
3. Remember what socialization was?
4. Instilling in children the values and beliefs that govern behavior.
a. Teaching them customs and beliefs
b. Teaching them language and traditions
c. Showing them how to work within language, customs, and traditions in order to get things done.
d. Socializing our children gives them the tools Paul used in order to become all things to all people that by all means he may win some.
F. If our families are going to succeed, they must be taught the needs of society and the rules that govern that society.
G. If our families are going to succeed, they must be taught the love of God and how to love him in return.
H. If our families are successful in both of these areas, we have made an evangelism machine that will be unstoppable.
1. The primary mission of every Christian is to make more Christians.
2. The primary mission of every family from the beginning is to make godly people who are capable of helping others become godlier.
I. The family is a Christian factory.
1. It is designed for one main purpose, the spreading of the gospel.
2. In so doing it provides a warm, open, and loving in which each family member is nurtured and given the ability to love self and others based on the love of God for the individual and the love for God.
3. Families are the place to demonstrate that love.
a. For others that they may see how God’s family operates
b. And for the family itself so that they can grow and learn more about loving and obeying God’s commands
J. Families are Christian factories, let’s start producing our product.
SERIES CONCLUSION:
1. I am very sad that this series has come to an end.
2. I have enjoyed studying for these lessons and have grown so much in the process.
3. I hope and pray that you have enjoyed them as much, but more than that; I hope and pray that you have benefited from them as much and that your families will grow stronger as a result of this study.
4. Families are the most important tool in world evangelism. We must work on them in the church if we hope to continue to grow and do our job as Christians.
5. Remember your role. Remember too that roles must be rigid enough to know where everyone stands but flexible enough to change if the need arises.
6. Enjoy the gift of family that God gave you and use it as God directs us to so that his kingdom can be shared with those who are not yet in it.
