WHERE DOES IT HURT?
Ephesians 5:22-6:4
Scripture reading: Proverbs 31:10-31
INTRODUCTION
1. We have discussed the idea of where families hurt:
a. In the home
b. In the society
c. In the gospel
2. We determined that we needed to look at some things in order to fix those things.
a. We defined the family
b. We established its foundation
c. We determined the role of the husband/father
d. We will now determine the role of the wife/mother
e. We will next look at the role of the children
f. Then we will put all of this together to help build strong families.
3. In looking at the wife/mother, Proverbs 31:10-31 gives us a strong background.
a. First (from Genesis) we will see why woman exists
b. Then we will see some attributes of a woman full of virtue.
c. This will help us determine the role of the wife/mother in the family.
4. Again, men this is not a day off for you.
a. As a husband, it is your job to help your wife become what God wants her to be.
b. As the head of the family, it is your responsibility to make sure she is going the correct direction.
c. Pay attention so that you can help your wife be who she is supposed to be.
5. It is the aim of this lesson to help us all know what a wife/mother is to be and in so doing help us to build stronger families.
TRANSITION: Why does woman exist?
I. The existence of woman.
A. Now I do not want to get overly philosophical in this discussion.
1. I am not talking about, "What is the meaning of life?" and all that stuff.
2. That metaphysical, existential mumbo-jumbo is for someone else.
B. We want to get a feel for what God may have had in mind when he created woman. (Not whoa-man, woman)
1. For this we go to the only source that was there when woman was created. The bible
2. We looked at this aspect before, but at this point it is necessary to bring some of it up again.
a. Adam sees that all the other animals have a mate.
b. By necessity then he notices that he does not, he is all alone.
c. Genesis 2:18 then gives us some insight into what God decided.
d. "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
e. Man was alone and that was no good.
f. Woman was added into the formula and then things were good.
3. She was a helper suitable for him.
a. Nothing else in the world was suitable for him.
b. He needed a helper suitable for him.
c. Woman was that helper.
C. She was the crowning glory of creation.
1. Creation was lacking until Eve was created.
2. Once she was placed on the earth creation was complete.
3. God had completed the creation process and all was good.
D. She was created to complete creation.
1. She is man’s help-meet.
2. She is the suitable helper for man to survive in the world.
3. She is the topper on top of the cake.
4. Woman was created to perfect man and thereby perfect creation.
E. Matthew Henry says, "If man was head, woman was the crown. She is crown to her husband and to the visible creation. Man is dust refined; woman is dust double-refined, once removed further from the earth."
TRANSITION: What is she to be like then?
II. Some attributes of a woman full of virtue.
A. One would expect such a crown to have some extraordinary characteristics.
B. First off, she is chosen by her husband.
1. Wives do not usually just drop out of the sky.
2. They are hand-picked by their husband.
3. The Proverbist in 31:10 says that she is worth more than precious jewels.
4. To him his choice of you was the pick of all the treasures in the world.
5. You are his crown.
C. A good wife is committed to her husband.
1. The husband can trust his wife.
2. This is true in at least two ways:
a. She is hard working
i. She will work with flax and wool making clothes for her family to wear and to sell in the market.
ii. She works with her hands and is like a merchant ship bringing food from afar.
iii. She makes herself strong so that she can do her work and take care of her family.
iv. She is going to work with the husband to ensure that the needs of the family are met.
v. He knows that she is committed to the family and to making sure all the physical needs will be met.
b. But beyond that, he trusts her heart.
i. He is known at the gates when he sits among the elders.
ii. This is because God is taught in the home.
iii. He is able to spend time studying and has a partner is his endeavors to know more about God.
iv. His help-meet knows that the physical needs must be met, but she also sees the importance of meeting the spiritual needs.
v. She helps him lead his family to heaven.
c. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. –Proverbs 31:30
d. Give her that praise.
D. A wife is her husband’s helper.
1. Again, this is a place at her husband’s side, not under his foot.
2. But she does have a heavy responsibility also.
a. Wives are responsible for the family also.
b. She is given the place beside the husband/father in the family.
c. If the husband is the Captain, the wife is the First-Mate.
d. How many ships would sail properly without the leadership of a top notch First-Mate?
e. Mothers have great responsibility in the raising of a family.
3. How do young women learn to fulfill their roles in families?
a. Titus 2:3, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips not enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the younger women to love their husbands, and to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
b. This lays out a major principle.
c. Women are taught to be good wives by those older than they are.
d. Who would that be? Their mothers and grand-mothers.
4. This even makes emphasizes how the family impacts the areas in which it hurts.
a. The home, teaching them to love their husbands and children and treat them respectfully and training the children how to behave in society.
b. The society, with the instruction of respectful behavior in public and sensibility and hard work.
c. The gospel, that the word of God will not be dishonored
d. Mothers have a critical role to play in the raising of families that do their job.
i. They help in socializing and developing families who love one another
ii. They demonstrate that love by their respect for their children, husband, and mostly for God.
iii. They pass on the traits of hard work to their children so that they can make society work.
iv. Mostly, they devote themselves to the training of the children in the ways of the Lord.
v. If a family is to succeed, the mother (The First-Mate) must be a strong and loving figure who is dedicated to God, her husband, and the needs of her family.
e. The husband cannot lead without a good helper.
E. Wives are joint-heirs with their husbands.
1. Just as we are joint heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17)
2. The gender of the participant makes no difference on the salvation offered
a. Galatians 3:28, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
b. She is going to receive the same reward for faithful service as is her husband.
3. As such, she is capable of making wise and unwise decisions.
4. Eve made an unwise decision in partaking of the apple.
a. Then Adam made his own mistake.
b. He was wrong for blaming Eve.
c. And they both received punishment for their mistake.
5. Look at the example if I Samuel 25.
a. This is the story of Nabal and Abigail.
b. Nabal acted rashly and harshly, without much sense.
c. Abigail went out and acted wisely and turned the anger of David away from Nabal.
d. He still did not learn the lesson and was struck by the Lord and died.
e. The point being that women do have common sense and brain power.
f. As the husband’s help-meet, it is her job to help him stay out of trouble and see ways of making the job of raising the family easier.
g. It is the husband’s job to realize the contributions the wife makes and accept her help as a vital part of the equation.
CONCLUSION:
1. Husbands, notice that I did not even mention the romantic side when I discussed the role of the wife.
a. She is not your toy.
b. Each of you has certain responsibilities in this area, but it is not why you are together.
2. Wives are vital to the success of the family.
a. She is crucial in training children in social skills.
b. She is critical in helping her husband provide physical needs for her family.
c. Most important, she is a necessary cog in the chain that drives families toward the Lord.
d. If a family is to succeed, the mother must be a woman of God.
3. Woman exists as the crowning glory of creation.
a. She is the crown of the head of the family.
b. She is the crown of creation as a whole.
c. She is a gift from God to man.
d. She is a help from man to God.
INVITATION
In light of blessings like mothers, God gave a greater blessing, his son. He gave him so that we would have salvation one day. If we accept him in our lives that salvation is ours. Accept his will now. Give in to him by obedience to the command to be baptized and have your sins washed away. If you have any need now, come as we stand together and sing.
