WHERE DOES IT HURT?
Ephesians 5:22-6:4
Scripture reading: Genesis 2:15-25
INTRODUCTION:
1. 34 % of all births to U. S. women in 1999 were to unmarried mothers
a. That number is 47% here in Alcorn County
2. 5.5 million Couples are cohabitating.
3. 50% of all U. S. marriages are likely to end in divorce.
4. 20 million Americans are divorced.
5. The number of working mothers went from 43.8% in 1975 to 71.9% in 1996.
6. Only 50% of marriages are headed by couples in their first marriage, 30% are single marriages and 20 % are remarriages.
7. Only 56% of all children live in homes with both biological parents present.
a. 71% of children in Alcorn County are in single parent homes
8. Well over 1 million couples divorce each year with only 3 million marriage licenses.
9. Where does all this hurt?
10. It hurts most at home, and home is the foundation for society.
11. Without the proper homes, our culture and society will fail.
12. Without the proper homes, the gospel can fail. At least in our homes.
13. If the gospel fails in our homes then it cannot possibly have the impact it should have on our culture and it will further fail.
14. In our text Paul gives us indications to what we need to do to make these families successful.
15. (Read Text)
16. In this lesson we hope to accomplish three things:
a. Identify families and certain problems facing them today
b. Identify solutions to those problems
c. Identify biblical roles to each individual in the family
17. It is the hope, prayer, and aim of this lesson to help us all learn how to build stronger families.
18. Whether we are not married, early beginning families, well on the way families, or empty-nesters watching our children raise their own children, there is a need to learn the skills needed to make stronger families.
TRANSITION: What is a family?
I. Identify families and certain problems facing today’s families
A. In order to help with something, we must know what we are helping.
1. Definition of family from U. S. Census report:
a. Two or more people
b. Related by birth, marriage, or adoption and residing together
2. Notice what is left out of the official definition of family
a. Commitment
b. Shared resources
c. Intimacy
d. Common values
3. In order to be a family one has only to live in the same house and have some common legal affiliation.
4. How sad that the American family does not have any real bond.
a. The only thing holding our families together is paperwork.
b. The only tie we have is what some judge awards in court or some doctor assert is true on a birth certificate.
c. There must be something more to families than living in the same house.
B. In our text for this lesson Paul says that families are built on the same model as the Lord’s church.
1. That is more than just some piece of paper.
2. It involves
a. Commitment to each other and the overall well-being of the church
b. Shared resources, fellowship, working together for the good of each other (Matthew 7:12, "In everything therefore, treat others in the same way as you want them to treat you")
c. Intimacy, Read Matthew 22:39 and John 13:34 and then tell me that the church does not involve intimacy with each other.
d. Common values, I Corinthians 1:10, "Now I exhort you brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment." That is sharing common values.
e. Seeing things the same way
C. Families are people with some claim to relation to each other.
1. That claim must involve commitment to each other. Making the decision to keep that relationship no matter what the circumstances.
2. It involves sharing resources, helping others succeed.
3. Intimacy, sharing yourself and loving each other
4. And common values, seeing things the same way: deciding to find the right way together
5. Families are people who love each other and desire to stand together because they love each other and it is right.
6. To me it is sad that we have to go through all that to define the family, but we do because the idea of family has gotten so out of hand.
D. This is one of the first things that challenge families today.
1. People do not know what they are getting into literally.
2. They do not know what they are starting when they start a family.
E. We need to look closer at the account in Genesis 2.
1. God moves all the animals by Adam for him to name.
2. Why do you think he did this?
a. Was it just because God did not know what to call all the animals?
b. Maybe God could not come up with that many names.
c. That is ludicrous.
d. Adam had a lesson to learn.
e. He learned that all the other animals had someone.
f. For the hippo there was a Mrs. Hippo
g. For the dog there was Mrs. Dog
h. For the frog there was Mrs. Frog
i. For Adam there was no one.
j. He was showed that he needed that help meet suitable for him.
3. Then he was showed three things.
a. He was showed priority.
i. A man shall leave his father and mother.
ii. His priority was to change.
iii. His role was no longer son but husband.
iv. He was now the head of a household who was to lead a house to heaven.
b. He was showed permanence.
i. He was joined to his wife and the two were to be one flesh.
ii. Now I do not know about you, but I do not want to go around cutting pieces of my self off.
iii. They were to cleave to one another.
iv. Jesus says in Matthew 19:6, "What therefore God has joined together let NO MAN separate."
v. The union is supposed to be permanent
c. He also sees the purpose for woman becoming his wife.
i. Remember how we talked about Mr. and Mrs. Frog, Mr. and Mrs. Hippo, and so on?
ii. The idea here being that there was no Mrs. Adam, AKA Eve.
iii. He was all alone, and that was not good.
iv. Until Adam had a wife creation was lacking a key ingredient.
v. Eve then became that crowning accomplishment to Adam that made all things right.
F. Adam knew what family meant.
1. He knew what it meant and he knew why it was important.
2. People today do not see that importance.
3. They look at people of the other gender as a means of getting what they want.
a. As the stereo type goes, men look at women as sex objects.
b. Women look at men as a means of getting at his paycheck.
c. They cleave to the parts they want and leave the parts that do not interest them aside.
d. Adam took Eve for everything she had because she was all that she had.
e. Eve took Adam for all that he had because he was all that she had.
4. Why can we not see that the same rule applies to us?
a. It is plain from Matthew 19:9 that one man can only have one woman and one woman can only have one man.
b. If any other situation arises then someone has displeased God and jeopardized their salvation.
c. Your wife is all that you have.
d. Wives, your husband is all that you have.
e. Any other option is displeasing to God and an abomination to your soul.
G. The biggest problem with families today is that people just do not know what they are doing.
1. They make a vow to live with their spouse forever and forsake every other person from that opportunity.
2. Then when the first fight comes along they move back in with momma, or find another person with whom they "identify" and give that special relationship to them and kill the trust and love of the original vow.
3. We simply do not have the will to commit like we should.
a. We diet for 2-weeks and give up because we did not lose 200 pounds.
b. We channel surf for 2 minutes and watch home shopping because we did not find something in 300 channels.
c. We watch the TV when our kids want to play
d. We turn to others when our families need us the most.
H. Let me challenge you to give your family an extra 20 minutes per day.
1. Give up two pages of that book.
2. Give up one sitcom
3. Give up one game on the computer
4. Show your kids and wife of husband that they are more important than those activities.
5. It will strengthen your family.
6. It will help your children have stronger families.
7. Show them what real commitment is.
8. Stay together and love one another.
CONCLUSION:
1. I know that I promised a lot and that much of what I promised is presently unfulfilled.
2. If you want the rest tune in next week for the continuing lesson on the family.
3. One sermon is not enough. Today we laid the foundation.
4. We identified the family and listed the main problem facing families today.
5. A family is a group of people claiming some relation based on the desire for commitment to each other, the sharing of resources, intimacy, and common values.
a. The best way to develop these is through raising a Christian family.
b. God’s word teaches all of these aspects and expects them to be held on to and treasured.
6. We saw that the biggest hang up for families is that they just do not know what they are doing.
a. So many do not know how to commit and share with one another.
b. Their idea of common values are that you believe what I believe or you are wrong and intimacy is when I want and any other time it is an invasion of my space.
c. People have forgotten the lesson Adam learned.
d. One man can only have one woman. One woman can only have one man.
e. Make the most of it because it is all you get.
7. Let us learn from this lesson that families are to be held onto and loved.
INVITATION
If you are not in God’s family, enjoying the love he has to offer, marry in now. Take advantage of the adoption available to you from God through baptism. Become a child of God now. If you are a child and have wandered like the prodigal, come home now as we stand and sing.
