DEATH TO SELF
Aaron Johnson
“Die out to self” the old man with the bad breath and thick eyebrows shouted as
he pounded his fist through my back. It is the close of a hot, muggy camp
meeting night. There is a crowd of people shouting and crying kneeling in the
sawdust around the altar. After a message on Heaven and Hell, and a closing
illustration about a girl refusing God then dying at the end of the night, the
invitation is given, and the people come.
Die to self. It is a simple phrase. It is one heard many times by those growing up
in the Christianese abundant, church world. In the heat of the altar call it is used
to mean kill all your personal desires and let God have total control of your heart
and life, stop directing yourself. But, in reality death to self is so much more. It
is dieing to yourself spiritually (letting God have control of your life), but it is also
dieing to your wants, desires, hobbies, needs, career, goals, ambitions, and all
else that is the fleshy me. It is dieing completely to you, and living wholly for God
and His purpose of bringing others to Him and His Kingdom.
However, as Christians true “death to self” is not usually found. Most Christians
are concerned more with being taken advantage of, or cheated out of something,
or taking life easy, and the “what about me” attitude. Who do we think we are?
How good of Christians are we if we cannot even follow the first step to a walk
with Christ, giving all our lives fully to Christ? As we see through the Word, this
is what God requires, true, complete “death to self”.
Paul knew what it was to be completely dead to self.
Acts 20:24 "But I count my life of no value to myself, so that I may finish my
course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of
God’s grace.”(HCSB)
To fully grasp Paul’s heart here we need to look a few verses back in the
chapter. We see what’s happening here is that Paul is on his missionary
journeys, traveling church to church, town to town. He knows that God is calling
him to go to Jerusalem, however, in every church that he goes to prophets are
coming to him telling him (through the Holy Spirit) , “don’t go to Jerusalem, you
will be captured and bound in chains, and thrown in prison”, “bad things are
going to happen in Jerusalem.” He knows that this is true, but he also know that
is where God is sending Him.
It is as if a man and his wife are praying about moving. They both feel as if they
should move to Atlanta, so the husband applies for a job, and they call him for
and interview. The husband gets his plane ticket and everything in order to go.
But, the wife comes to him and says, “I have a bad feeling about this, I don’t
know what it is but something bad is going to happen.” The husband replies that
this is where God wants them so he must do what God is asking. He goes to
Atlanta, he gets through the interview, he gets the job, and he’s excited. On the
way back to the airport he stops at a gas station to fuel the rental car. While there
he gets mugged. He’s a little bruised up, his wallet and money is stolen. But, for
the most part he’s fine. This is kind of Paul’s deal. He’s following God’s will, but
something bad is still going to happen.
See, Paul is not concerned with himself or his life, because he gave everything to
Christ long ago. If it is Paul’s time to die then that is up to God. Paul says, “my
life is of no value to me”, Paul was focused. He lived for God and His purposes.
Even though he knew bad things were going to happen to him, he still had to
fulfill God’s will for his life. It is not about him it is about Him. You cannot hurt
what is dead. Paul was dead.
Galatians 2:19-20 “For through the law I have died to the law that I might live to
God. I have been crucified with Christ; and I no longer live, but Christ lives in
me. The life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me
and gave Himself for me.” (HCSB)
According to Jewish law (Paul was a Jew) to eat with Gentiles (non-Jew) was
culturally unacceptable. The people were watching Paul eat with these non-
Jews, and talk about how God wanted these people in His Kingdom. So, to the
Jews that followed the law they were thinking what kind of God is this, what kind
of God does something so counter-cultural?. Paul was saying that God does not
follow those laws and rules. Paul said he died to those laws when he was
“crucified with Christ”. He lives by a new set of ‘laws’. He lives in Christ and
Christ lives in Him. In essence, Paul was saying that he no longer lives by the
cultural laws, but by the Word of God.
Our culture tells us that if we give people a ride to work they will take advantage
of us, if we volunteer to do something for someone they will start to expect more
of us, if we constantly do whatever others want to do over the activity we want to
do, then we are going to be treated like a doormat, if we offer our services free of
charge then we will face financial ruin. All these things do happen, our culture (in
this example) is, for the most part, speaking the truth. But, so what if we are
taken advantage of, used, asked to do more, or walked on. These things cannot
be done to a dead person. We serve others, we go out of our way, we
participate in hobbies that are not ours, and we offer our time for free, because
we are not alive. This is how others can see Him and the Kingdom. We are one
with Christ. We must die.
I Corinthians 9:19-23 “For although I am free from all people, I have made
myself a slave to all, in order to win more people.” (v. 19) (HCSB)
Paul was free, he did not owe anything to anybody, he was not under any
obligation to anybody else, and he did not even need anything from anybody
else. Yet, he became what he had to for others. He was not afraid to enslave
himself to people’s perceptions, for their freedom from a heart of sin and
wickedness. Paul did all he could within the laws of God to become what he
needed to become for others. Paul was not talking about being hypocritical, he’s
talking about the ability to come to the same level as everyone else and reach
them where they’re at.
We are called to build bridges to people; not tear them down. Some bridges that
we build are through music, sports, hobbies, jobs, conversation, and the list could
go on. This are things that may not be my prefrence but I do it for the other
person.
Consider this quote from Mark Batterson, “If we are going to reach the lost we
are going to have to sit in the ‘smoking section”.
In the verses following verse19 Paul gives specific examples of his enslavement
for others freedom.
“To the Jews…”
Although Paul was free from the cultural laws, and Jewish legalism (a free-born
citizen of Rome) (God released him from the Old Testament laws and into a New
Testament relationship) he still followed them for the sake of those he was trying
to reach. He made himself a slave to the Jewish rules and regulations so that
others could be free from sin and wickedness.
How do we communicate with other “Christians” that may have different political,
social, or economic views than our own? How do we communicate with others
“interpretation” of the scriptures that are different from our own? Are the things
we criticize our brother for worth his eternal salvation?
Or do we have the attitude of “there’s nothing wrong with it; I don’t care what he
thinks”. Do we allow our young Christian brothers to witness us doing things we
know they struggle with?
Movies do not really bother me; I can watch a horror movie, and not ever think
anything about it, no nightmares or bad dreams. Movies just do not affect me in
that way. They don’t really stick with me; I can watch them and forget it. But, not
everyone is like that. Some people are very much affected by gory horror films,
and certain scenes will stick with them, and pop into their mind at inopportune
times. This was the case with one of my Christian workers. In the fire service
there is a lot of down time, which means a lot of movie watching. I am a Quentin
Tarantino fan, he has a unique filmmaking style, and I would bring in some of his
films, and some others, not thinking anything of it. Within a couple of weeks my
Christian brother approached me and began telling me how he did not
understand how a Christian could watch the types of films that Tarantino is
famous for making. I apologized, and strive to change my viewing habits, and
the films I bring into work. I was doing my own thing, I was not denying myself, it
was ok for me, and I wasn’t effected by it. But it was something my Christian
brother struggled with daily.
Paul says no. If your brother struggles with this, then when you are with him it is
as if it is your struggle as well. You see, you must deny yourself, and become
“all things” to your brother. Not for your good, but for your brother’s good.
“To those who are outside the law…” (Gentiles)
“In innocent things he could comply with people’s usages or humors for their
advantage.” (Matthew Henry’s Complete Commentary)
Paul used their language, their customs, and their processes. Paul did not come
into a town and start forcing his ways onto everybody else. He enslaved himself
to their customs and ways so they could understand and learn the love of God in
a familiar way.
As Christians often times we think the best thing to do is shove God down
people’s throats, let people know how evil they are, brow beat them with the
Bible. We try to reach people “our” way. And we wonder why people do not want
anything to do with Christianity. We look like lunatics. And all the time, God just
wants us to demonstrate love in a way they understand.
Working with the Dream Center in Los Angeles I was given the opportunity to go
down into the “red light” district (the homosexual district) and minister. The team
did not go down there with huge “Turn or Burn” signs, or “God hates Gays”.
People know their sin. We were there just to hang out and talk to people, and
demonstrate God’s love for them. We were in their territory abiding by their
cultural rules. Their were guys that thought I was attractive and started talking to
me, rather than be disgusted or tell them how horrible of people they were, I was
able to capitalize on their willingness to talk to me and let them that there is a
God that loves and cares about them.
We must deny our own methods, and the ways we have been taught, and
enslave ourselves to the methods of “…those who are outside the law….”
“To the weak…”
Paul never had the attitude that he was better than anybody else, that he was
over anybody else, that he was the boss of anything. He did not use big words to
show that he was smarter; he did not wear his best clothes to show he had more
money. He enslaved himself to their weakness (mental and physical), their
poverty, and their condition. He denied his own strength and pride.
How “Christians” so often fail in becoming “all things…to the weak”. We get all
upset if our neighbors grass gets too high. Rather than just cut it, we want to call
people and make a fuss. Worried more about our home value than the spiritual
condition of our neighbor. We are always out trying to make another dollar, see
what we can get. Instead of offering our services as an opportunity to share
Christ. We want to see what we can get out of it.
I hate to hear “Christians” talk about immigration. I hate to hear the comments,
“why don’t they just go to their own country, learn our language, their taking over,
it’s all the Hispanics/Haitians/Asians fault….blah, blah, blah.” In reality, God is
giving us and the immigrants an incredible opportunity. God is supplying the
financial needs, and improving the quality of life for these immigrants, while
giving us the opportunity to witness and reach these people for the Kingdom
without ever leaving our ‘comfort’ zones. We do not really want to become all
things to the weak. We are more interested in being in charge of somebody, and
making others feel inferior to us. Do we feel like we are better because we are
Christians? Or Americans? We could have been “the weak”, but instead God
privileged us enough to live in the wealthiest nation in the world.
I was a guest at an event at nice church. It was a brand new building, the
congregation had just moved in. Being interested in church moves and building
projects I began to talk to the pastor and some of the congregants. I asked how
the church was doing, how the process was, how long it took, all those kind of
questions. My heart felt as if it were ripped out of my chest when I heard the
answer to the question of why they moved. They said the neighborhood where
the old sanctuary was located had become populated with immigrants and high
crime. What a perfect place for Christians to be! In the heart of darkness! The
congregation, however, was not willing to deny themselves security, status, or
numbers.
Sometime later I talked to a congregant again, I was informed that they were in
the process of stopping their bus ministry to the neighborhood, because they only
came to learn English and get free food, and it was just too much to drive all the
way out there and spend the gas. What have they denied themselves?
When our neighbor needs financial assistance or a loan, are we quick to help?
Not so much. We are not interested in helping. If we do loan we want to know
how much interest he’s going to pay. We are not really interested in denying
ourselves financial security. Have we really completely died to ourselves?
Are we willing to bring ourselves down, deny our pride, for the weak among us?
Paul says he does it all for the gospel. To reach lost souls for the Kingdom. To
fulfill the will of his Heavenly Father. Paul understood death to self. He
understood self sacrifice. Paul understood that he died long ago when Christ met
him on the Damascus road. He knew he no longer had life. All he had was in
Christ. He was in Christ. He was dead to self.
Matthew 16:24-25 “If any one wants to come with Me, he must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life because of me will find it.” (HCSB)
Jesus is saying, “If you desire oneness with Me you must die.” He says, “deny
yourself”, Jesus is talking about your sinful desires, lust, drunkenness, greed,
selfishness. Deny your own personal plans, goals, ambitions, for Me. Deny
yourself to serve others, for what others want, for My will.
This is Jesus response to Peters denial of His death, “Oh no, Lord! This will
never happen to You!” (v. 22) (HCSB). Jesus says,”Get behind Me….you’re not
thinking about God’s concerns, but man’s.” (v.23) (HCSB). And His reply goes
on into verse 24-28. This is Jesus saying that as a human being He is not
looking forward to the pain and agony of the Cross. However, it is not “man’s
concern” that is important, but things of “God’s concern”, and what is best for the
rest of the world. He says if you want to be my disciple, you want to come with
Me, you have to have the same attitude. Not what is best for you, but what is
best for the will of God, the Kingdom of Heaven, and your fellow man.
Jesus is our first and greatest example of this:
Philippians 2: 7-8 “Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave,
taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external
form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death – even to
death on a cross.” (HCSB)
Matthew Henry’s commentary says this,
“It is the fundamental law of admission into Christ’s school, and the first and great
lesson to be learned in this school, to deny ourselves; it is both the strait gate,
and the narrow way; it is necessary in order to our learning all the other good
lessons that are there taught. We must deny ourselves absolutely, we must not
admire our own shadow, nor gratify our own humor; we must not lean to our own
understanding, nor seek our own things, nor be our own end. We must deny
ourselves comparatively; we must deny ourselves for Christ, and his will and
glory, and the service of his interest in the world; we must deny ourselves for our
brethren, and for their good; and we must deny ourselves for ourselves, deny the
appetites of the body for the benefit of the soul.”
Next, we see, that Jesus commands us to “take up his cross”. As Jesus endured
suffering by carrying the burden of the sins of the world, se we must do the
same. We must endure suffering, for the good of those around us. People will
take advantage of us, walk over us, use us, and make fun. We may face social
ruin or financial difficulty. We may have to step out from our ‘comfort zone’, or
deviate from our plans. However, in the midst of this, we must serve. Sacrifice for
the demonstration of Christ’s love for the sinner, through us.
Finally, Jesus says “follow me”. Follow my example. Follow my lead. He says,
“Just as I gave up Heaven to come down, and die on a cross for you, according
to the will of My Father, you do the same for your fellow man according to My
will.” Lose your life on this earth (that is but a “vapor” James 4:14) and save it for
eternity.
Ephesians 5:1 “Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children”. (HCSB)
It is complete death to self.
In conclusion as you read the words to the following hymn, I challenge you to
reflect on your life and ask yourself if you truly have surrendered all…
All to Jesus I surrender;
all to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
in his presence daily live.
All to Jesus I surrender;
humbly at his feet I bow,
worldly pleasures all forsaken;
take me, Jesus, take me now.
(Refrain)
All to Jesus I surrender;
make me, Savior, wholly thine;
fill me with thy love and power;
truly know that thou art mine.
(Refrain)
All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to thee;
fill me with thy love and power;
let thy blessing fall on me.
(Refrain)
All to Jesus I surrender;
now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to his name!
(Refrain)
Refrain:
I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
Have you completely died to yourself? Are willing to walk into trouble for the will
of God? What value do you place on your life? Are you more concerned with
the ways of culture, or being taken advantage of? Or are you more concerned
with the ways of Christ? Have you surrendered your inflated view of yourself?
Have you died to financial security, life preservation, and pride? Are you willing to
deny your wants, desires, and comfort for those of others?
The true Christian lives a life that is more concerned with others, than self.
Entrance into Christ’s Kingdom requires complete death to self.
