Title: “Learning How To Minister To Your Wife”
A Husband & Wife were getting ready for Bed one Night. The Wife was Standing in Front of the Full Length mirror, taking a Long hard Look at Herself.
“You know Dear,” she says, “As I Look into the Mirror I see an Old Woman. My Face is all Wrinkled, my Hair is Grey, my Shoulders are Hunched over, I’ve got Fat Legs, & my Arms are Flabby.”
She turns to her Husband & says, “Tell me Something Positive, to make me Feel Better about Myself.” He Studies hard for a Moment, Thinking About what he can say.
p.1
He Looked at his Wife and in a Soft, Thoughtful Voice he said, “Well, there’s nothing wrong with your Eyesight.” Services for the Husband will be held Saturday Morning at 10:30, at Saint Elmo’s Memorial Chapel.
God allowed you to find your Wife because He Believed that you would take good care of His Precious Daughter. This is why you Obtain the Dual Blessings of having Her & Pleasing Him.
But what Happens when you don’t take Good Care of your Wife? A man who Neglects his Wife makes her miserable and then she makes him miserable.
p.2
And the Old saying says, “When Momma Isn’t Happy, nobody is Happy”. But she isn’t the only unhappy one. I believe you also anger God by Betraying His Confidence in Trusting you with His Daughter.
Before we Start talking about Learning How To Minister to Your Wife, I want to give you some Scriptures from the Bible which will Lay a Biblical Foundation for Everything that we are going to be Talking about.
Genesis 2:21-22
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his Ribs, and Closed up the Flesh in its place.
“Then the Rib which the Lord God had taken from Man He made into a Woman, & He brought her to the Man.”
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ Loved the Church and gave Himself for it.”
Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a Wife finds a good thing, and obtains the favor of the Lord.”
1 Peter 3: 7
“Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with Understanding, giving Honor to the Wife, as to the Weaker Vessel, and as being Heirs together of the Grace of Life, that your Prayers may not be Hindered.”
p.4
“Some Golden Nuggets from these Verses”
1. God custom designed a woman especially for a
Man.
2. God is the Father who gave away the First Bride. And when a Father gives his Daughter away, he Expects that Young Man to take care of her!
3. Husbands are Commanded by God to Love their Wives. God doesn’t have to Command the Wife to Love her Husband because this comes Natural to her.
4. We are to Love our Wife as Christ Loves His Church.
p.5
Can I be Honest with you? I’m not there yet? But when I do what I am called to do as a Man, it will not be Difficult for my Wife submit to me as her Husband-----Because she will know that I’ve got her Best Interest at Heart!
5. Christ laid down His Life for the Formation of
I have met so many men who read Ephesians 5, and they say, “I am the Head of my Wife and Family.” Friend, let me tell you something, to be the Head of your Family means to be the Servant/Leader. You Live to Give!
p.6
6. The more that we Love God, the more we will
Be capable to Love our Wives.
7. When a man finds a Wife, he finds a Good Thing.
-She isn’t your Old Lady.
-She isn’t your Inferior.
-She isn’t just someone you have Sex with.
-She is a Gift from Almighty God.
-And you need to treat her like a Gift.
-How am I doing so Far Ladies?
p.7
8. When a man finds a Wife, he obtains the Favor of the Lord.
God smiled upon you when He brought this Beautiful Woman into your Life. But you’ve got to Learn how to take care of God’s Little Girl. And it takes a Lifetime of Learning!
9. Husbands are to Strive to Understand & give Honor to their Wives.
10. If you don’t Treat our Wife properly, it will Hinder your Prayer Life. Did you know that’s what the Word of God says?
p.8
What are some things that a Husband can do to Express His Love To His Wife? Let me say this before we begin. Men, we need to be Teaching our Sons these Principles at an Early Age------Because it will help them when they get Married!
“The 5 Basic Needs of Every Woman”
I. She needs To be Spiritually Ministered To By
Ephesians 5:23
“For the Husband is the head of the Wife; as also Christ is the Head of the Church; and He is the Savior of the Body.”
p.9
I thank God for Pastors & Evangelists, but God has called the Man to be the Spiritual Head of their Homes. And you don’t need a Bible College Degree to accomplish this Task. Men it’s Time To take the Spiritual Reins in our Homes!
-It’s more than just going to Church on Sundays.
-Be a Man of the Word.
-Be a Man of Prayer.
-Be a Man of Integrity.
-Keep your Vertical Relationship with God Right.
-And it will affect your Horizontal Relationship!
-God do a Work in our Men!
-And it will have an Impact upon our Families!
p.10
II. She needs to feel Safe & Secure with her Husband.
Every Woman has a need to be “Secure”. A Woman needs to know that she is Safe & Well Provided for in every way. The Husband must Communicate 4 things to his Wife to Satisfy her Need for Security:
1. He must Communicate that His Wife is Number
One, Next to God.
When a Woman senses her Husband is Preoccupied or Detached from her in some way, She will immediately feel Insecure.
p.11
The Best way a Husband can Determine if he is Caring for His Wife Properly is to Simply Ask Her.
-Honey, is I meeting your Needs?
-What can I do to improve?
-What can I do to Show you I Really Love You?
-Guys, it takes more than just saying, “I Love You”
-Ladies, this is where he needs your Encouragement.
2. A Husband must Communicate his Admiration
& Love for his Wife.
-Don’t assume that She just knows it.
-You can’t tell her too often.
-Tell her that She is Pretty.
-Tell her that you Love Her.
-And don’t just do this in the Bed Room.
-And your Wife will Blossom like a Flower.
But she will begin to Wilt & Die if she doesn’t Hear your Words of Affirmation. If you don’t Affirm her, someone else will. The Bible says, “Her Children rise up and call her Blessed; & her Husband Praises her.”
A. Be Sincere when you Praise Her.
p.13
B. Say something Nice about Every Area of Her
Life.
-Compliment her Mind.
-Compliment her Heart.
-Compliment her Cooking.
-Compliment her Character.
-Compliment her Motherhood.
-Compliment her Sexuality.
C. Never use Sarcasm.
p.14
Please hear me, “You don’t accomplish anything by Belittling your Spouse.” Your Spouse isn’t Perfect-----but neither are you! Don’t put one another down!
D. Earn your words of Correction.
For every one thing that you “Correct” or “Confront”, give her numerous Compliments. Remember, there is Death & Life in the Power of the Tongue.
3. A Husband must Communicate his Faithfulness
To His Wife.
p.15
Many men have never Slept with another Woman outside of Marriage, but they carry a Spirit of Unfaithfulness in their Hearts. This will destroy your Wife!
4. A Husband must Communicate His Dedication
To Provide for His Wife & Family.
1 Timothy 5: 8
“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his Household, he has Denied the Faith and is worse than an Unbeliever.”
p.16
-You don’t have to be Rich.
-You don’t have to Live in a Fancy House.
-But don’t be Afraid of Hard Work.
-Single Girls, Look for a Guy with Good Work Ethics.
-Guys, don’t change jobs every few months!
III. She Needs Intimate Conversation from Her Husband.
According to Researchers, the Typical Couple Spend only 4 Minutes a Day in Meaningful Conversation with one another. No wonder we have problems!
p.17
Why is it Guys, when we are Dating, we can Talk about anything under the Sun? But when we get Married, we have a Tendency to Quit Talking.
One of the Worse forms of Abuse for a Woman is Silence by her Husband. Guys, maybe you have tried to open up to your Wife & She has Wounded you wither her Words!
Ladies, I say this with the Greatest Respect, If
Your Husband is Trying to Talk to You:
-Thank him for Trying.
-Because it might be difficult for him.
-Don’t be Quick to Talk----But Listen!
I have met a Few Ladies through the years that are Type A personalities & they can Rip their Husbands apart with their Words. They don’t mean to hurt many times; they are only trying to Express Themselves!
But Let me tell you something Ladies that are Quick Tempered. “Pleasant Words are as a Honeycomb, Sweet to the Soul & Health to the Bones.”
“What are some things that we can do to Help Us”
1. Go on a Weekly Date Night……
p.19
2. Learn to Turn the Television off a Little Early.
3. Have a Nightly Couch Time where you Talk.
4. Take the Time to Laugh Together.
5. Find a godly mentor couple…..
IV. She Needs A Tender Touch & to Hear Gentle
Words.
-It is called Affection.
-We men think we know what Affection is!
-We think it has something to do with SEX.
p.20
And we Like to show her Affection. But there
Are Times that your Wife want you to Show Her that you Love her without Sex Involved. And maybe some of you men are saying, “Is that Possible”?
-Hold her Hand.
-Look into her Eyes & say, “You are Mine”.
-Take her out on a Date just the 2 of you.
-Live Life to the Fullest!
-A Healthy Marriage produces Healthy Kids!
Before Marriage, 2 people in Love can Hardly Keep their Hands off of each other. But after Marriage many times something Horrible Happens.
p.21
It’s as if there is a Sign that says, “You are Married Now----so we can’t Touch Anymore.”
-Hugs are Healthy.
-Hug your Wife in front of the Children.
-Take her by the Hand & Walk with Her.
-She needs your Affection Men!
V. She needs to be Pursued & Set Apart by
Her Husband.
p.22
Pursue- To go after, to chase down, to desire.
And when you catch her, you don’t Stop.
She has to be your main Focus.
So many times we say, “Honey, I Love you more than you will ever know, but will you Hold this Rock for me Until:
-Our Business is on its Feet.
-We are Financially Stable.
-And because she loves you, she holds the Rock.
And we go out to Pursue our Dreams, while she is Holding the Rock;
-Longing for our Attention.
-Waiting for her Turn.
p.23
But please hear me Men, “If we aren’t Careful, She becomes so Tired & Discouraged of just Holding the Rock, that she Drops the Rock.”
And sometimes when that Rock drops, it Breaks into a Thousand Pieces. Sometimes it is Impossible to put the Pieces back Together again. I know that with God’s Help----All Things are Possible!
I have a Word from the Lord for some of you, “Don’t wait until she drops the Rock to do Something.”
p.24
If your Wife doesn’t come First, next to God-You will Lose more than you can ever Imagine!
So what does your Wife need from you Sir?
1. She needs to be Spiritually Ministered to.
2. She needs to feel Safe & Secure.
3. She needs Intimate Conversation.
4. She needs a Gentle Touch & Tender Words.
5. She needs to be Pursued & Set Apart by her Husband.
*Some of you Ladies are Discouraged……
*Some of you men have never been Taught, but
You want to learn.
