Scripture Introduction
One of the changes in our world in the last generation or so is a loss of security. Expectations for what life offers have risen exponentially; fulfillments have disappointed. Cell phones are a simple example: the promise a connectedness everywhere available and never before achieved; yet they more frequently provide an interruption from the person you are meeting face-to-face.
Close family relationships have also suffered during this time. Divorce, single parenting, remarriage, and complex step-families mitigate against the comfort and support we used to find in the nuclear family. And even if you have not experienced those tensions, the global economy separates many of us from the benefits of stable and secure relationships. Helen and I have lived in six cities; my parents lived in only one, as did Helen’s parents. Additionally, many of us find that the sheer number of contacts we have distracts us from deep friendships and hinders our ability to truly connect with anyone.
As the hurt from these changes escalated, many turned inward to replace the lost sense of community, fertilizing the ground for the seeds of the New Age movement. Millions of books promoting self-absorption and self-reliance have been sold as the solution to life’s ills. Books like the New York Times best seller: How To Be Your Own Best Friend.
Kirby Anderson, National Director of Probe Ministries, observed: “People frequently struggle with the idea of relationships rooted in duty and obligation. Foreign is the idea of friendship based upon self-denial and self-sacrifice. But true relationships must be built on more than communication; they must also be built upon commitment. Ultimately, many are rearing families in an era of disposable relationships” (Signs of Warning, Signs of Hope, 144).
My pastor in Mississippi, Mike Ross, summarized the situation this way: “We live in a community-less, commitment-less, cocooning, time.”
What are we to do? Certainly not conform. Our value is as an alternative community — something clearly created by the presence of God. The New Testament church had the Holy Spirit in power, and this made them a dynamic and devoted organization.
First, they were dynamic, both alive and active. They were alive — once they had been dead to the things of God, but now the Holy Spirit had untied them to Jesus Christ, the resurrected and reigning savior. They were Christians; they were alive. They also acted — theirs was not a “sit, soak, and sour” religion (to borrow a phrase from Chuck Swindoll), but one that propelled them into ministry. Dynamic.
They were also devoted; they clung to certain means of grace; they persevered against pressures to do otherwise. As a result, God not only kept them from becoming obsolete, he gave them growth — growth both outward (in evangelism) and inward (in edification).
If you are a Christian, you will want the same, because the same Spirit which lived in them, lives in us. Acts 2.42 tells us that they “devoted themselves to fellowship,” and 1John 1 gives an exposition and application of that practice. [Read 1John 1.1-10. Pray.]
Introduction
Larry Crabb wrote, The Safest Place On Earth, after he moved from psychological to biblical counseling. Even so, some of us might be uncomfortable with his solutions to community life. I think, however, that all of us will benefit from his description of the challenges we face in being a church devoted to fellowship. In the introduction, he tells a vivid memory of a trip to Miami Beach.
One block west of the luxury beach hotels…was an ordinary big-city street, noisy, dirty, heavily trafficked…. We walked in front of a wood-slatted porch…where at least a hundred chairs were arranged in neat rows and columns, none touching. Most of them were occupied by a motionless retired man or woman staring straight ahead at the street…. No heads turned to follow a passing taxi, or to chat with another porch-sitter…. There was no conversation, no evidence that any of these people had been created by a relational God to enjoy intimate relating. These people’s souls were asleep, numbed by years of lifeless relationships and pointless conversations. No doubt these conversations had all seemed important at the time — business deals, romantic encounters, child scoldings, religious meetings — but maybe such encounters had never touched anything deep enough to stir life….
I wonder if the Spirit feels as we did when He walks by a group of Christians…. Every Sunday morning we stand, then sit, then sing on command…. Most of us sit still while someone talks to us. At some point we reach into our wallets and drop a mixture of green and silver into a big bowl with velvet lining to keep the silver from clanging. We’re doing a lot. But I wonder if the Spirit, who lives in a circle with two Others who are always relating, sees us as my wife and I saw the retired folks on the Miami Beach porch: lined up in chairs facing straight ahead with no life passing back and forth among them….
Even when a few of us gather together to relate, do we somehow manage to keep our souls to ourselves, never really meeting, neither giving nor receiving what is most wanted? We may arrange our bodies in a circle, but our souls are sitting in straight-backed chairs facing away from the others. We all play it safe because none of us feel safe in the group…. Have we found ways to “do church,” even to participate in small groups that don’t require real connecting?
Churches are rarely communities. More often they are social machines that run smoothly for a while, break down, then are fixed so they run smoothly again or noisily chug along as best as they can…. Our interactions rarely create community — they more often substitute for it. (xi – xiv, slightly edited to shorten and tell.)
I obviously cannot address this morning all of the interesting idea that Crabb’s comments churn up. My goal is simply to show you three main categories that we must address to create authentic Christian community. Under each of those, I will outline what might be done. I’m counting on your to take this structure, analyze your own relationships, especially those in the church, and give me feedback on areas we need teaching and correction and encouragement. Through that process I believe God will make our fellowship one of the safest places on earth. To get there, first notice:
1. True Fellowship Depends on Union with Christ (1John 1.3)
1John 1.3: “that which we have seen and heard [Jesus Christ, God the Son lived, died, and was resurrected, HIM] we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.”
People who are not Christians can have delightful friendships. In fact, to our shame, their friendships are often better than ours. We should watch and learn from those who have faithful and edifying friendships.
You may have had an experience like the young man who went to the movies with his family. On the way in, he stopped to purchase some popcorn. By the time he got into the theater, the lights were already dim and he couldn’t find his family. He paced up and down the aisles in near darkness, peering down each row. Finally, in desperation, he stopped and asked out loud, “Does anyone here recognize me?”
Christians should have deeper fellowship one with another because they recognize one another. You know that I fall short of the glory of God and the requirements of the law. You know that apart from Christ I can no good thing. You know that when I want to do good, sin is right there with me. You know that I am tempted to depend on the resources I have been given to make life work out the way I want. You know that my “capacity for relationship” is changed by the sin nature into a desperate longing for relationships that end up being an indignant demand for self-fulfillment: I need love, so love me! We can have a deeper fellowship because we can admit the truth about who we are in ourselves; and that honesty comes from our confidence that in Christ we are new creations.
But there is something more significant in 1John than mere recognition of one another. The bar celebrated in Cheers has some of that. We have a relationship that comes from a sharing in the fellowship of the Trinity, the perfect relationship between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “Our community with one another consists solely in what Christ has done to both of us. What does this mean? It means, first, that a Christian needs others because of Jesus Christ. It means, second, that a Christian comes to others only through Jesus Christ.” (Quoted in Foster, Devotional Classics.)
C. S. Lewis: “He works on us in all sorts of ways. But above all, He works on us through each other. Men are mirrors, or ‘carriers’ of Christ to other men. That is why the Church, the whole body of Christians showing Him to one another, is so important.”
J. I. Packer, God’s Words, 193: “We should not...think of our fellowship with other Christians as a spiritual luxury, an optional addition to the exercises of private devotion. We should recognize rather that such fellowship is a spiritual necessity; for God has made us in such a way that our fellowship with himself is fed by our fellowship with fellow-Christians, and requires to be so fed constantly for its own deepening and enrichment.”
Let me give you a practical reason deep fellowship depends on sharing Christ. Every human relationship (and this is only increased where we try to grow closer and deeper) every relationship discovers significant conflict. It cannot be avoided. Without Christ in me as my hope and joy, I will try to cover conflict with false community. Crabb names five of these:
* Hide conflict beneath congeniality
* Cooperate on a project that allows us to continue to honor self-serving agendas
* Seek only consolation (relief) from conflict
* Ask a counselor (therapist) to uncover the roots of our internal conflict in hopes of weakening the passions which cause it
* Double our efforts to conform to moral principles of living as our central response
Each is a counterfeit of true, Christian fellowship. Whether you agree with his categories or not, the main point is this: the pain and brokenness caused by our selfishness will not be relieved by any of those. Only a new affection, love for God through Jesus, can drive us together and through the sins and selfishness that naturally separate us.
Crabb, 39: “Passions that ugly and that demanding can never be tamed. They cannot be fully hidden, nor can they be weakened by understanding their roots. They can for a time be disguised but they can never be either improved or controlled. Our only hope is that another passion arise within us that is stronger and better. Only the resources of the Spirit are adequate to move us through conflict into true relationship.”
We proclaim Jesus as the means of true fellowship.
2. True Fellowship Deepens Our Joy (1John 1.4)
1John 1.4: “We are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.”
Maybe you identify with the changes to the old hymn: “Count your many blessings, name them one by one; then pretend you’re happy, with what God has done.”
Many of us know the pain of broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. You know the lure of bitterness and resentfulness. Unless we are utterly convinced that God calls us to community, we will plaster on sincere sounding substitutes and pretend it is well with my soul. But John writes about fellowship with God and one another in order to fill up his joy.
The Bible gives many reasons for being committed one to another. For example, in Ecclesiastes 4.9-12, Solomon teaches that two people working together on a project often accomplish more than each working alone. His three reasons are: 1) When two work together, the one is always available to help in times of trouble; 2) Two people together effectively multiply resources; and 3) Two can better survive against enemies.
I could expand on practical principles and benefits of fellowship. But 1John 1.4 presses on us especially joy. How can what to many is a place of hurt become a source of joy?
I believe the answer is that true fellowship with fallen Christians forces us deeper with Jesus. You will not relate long to other people before you find yourself at the end of your resources. I looked up every command in the New Testament for how we are to relate as Christians. I found eight prohibitions:
* Do not grumble against one another
* Do not speak evil against one another
* Do not lie to one another
* Do not provoke one another
* Do not envy one another
* Do not devour one another
* Do not consume one another
* Do not judge one another
I need God’s power in my life to put off those sins. But that is small potatoes compared to how I must treat you:
* Love one another
* Greet one another
* Show humility toward one another
* Pray for one another
* Confess your sins to one another
* Stir up one another to love and good works
* Encourage one another
* Comfort one another
* Be patient with one another
* Submit to one another
* Count one another more significant than yourself
* Be kind to one another
* Carry one another’s burdens
* Serve one another
* Outdo one another in showing honor
* Build up one another
* Counsel one another
* Live in harmony with one another
* Forgive one another
* Teach and admonish one another
* Be at peace with one another
A list of commands that long does not bring me joy unless it brings me to Jesus. I can’t love the unlovely, pray for those who mistreat me, be at peace with my enemies, confess my sins to those who are self-righteous — unless doing so deepens my dependence on Christ. Biblical fellowship forces us to find God sufficient — and that is your joy.
3. Sin Destroys Christian Fellowship (1John 1.6-7)
Jeremiah Burroughs wrote, in 1653, Irenicum: Healing the Divisions Among God’s People. Many pastors consider it one of the great works on the causes of broken fellowship in the church. He concludes that there are three causes of division: 1) Dividing Principles: Divisions which come down from our heads to our hearts; 2) Dividing Distempers: Divisions which go up from our hearts to our heads; and 3) Dividing Practices: behaviors that foment and increase both.
3.1. Dividing Principles (false beliefs promoting division, vain conceits)
* There can be no agreement without uniformity, 20
* All religions are to be tolerated, 26
* Nothing which is thought to be wrong is ever to be tolerated, 69
* Division is the best way to maintain dominion, 103
* Everyone is bound to profess and practice always what he believes to be true, 107
* What is in itself best must be chosen and done, without regard to circumstances or references, 122
* It is obstinacy not to be convinced by the judgment of many who are more learned and godly, 127
* If others are against what we conceive to be truth, we may judge them to go against their own light, 138
* Every difference in religion is a differing religion, 145
3.2. Dividing Distempers (“Whatever others do to divide us would prevail little were it not for the lusts of our own hearts”)
* Pride (the great one), 158
* Self-love, 168
* Envy, 178
* Anger, 183
* Rigidness, 194
* Rashness, 196
* Willfulness, 197
* Inconstancy, 199
* Jealousy, 204
* Contentiousness, 206
* Covetousness, 207
* Falseness, 208
3.3. Dividing Practices
* Slandering, bitter tongues, 210
* Needless disputes, 214
* Not keeping in the bounds set for us by God, 221
* Demeaning the credits of men whom the Lord uses for good, 242
* Using divisive names to characterize men, 248
* Attributing personal evil to those who differ, 259
* Cleaving to one person or group so as to deny due respect to another, 262
* Refusing to join in some things because you cannot join in all, 264
* Attributing to a person who is in some error every false consequence which might be drawn from that error, 267
* Revenge
Henry Scougal wrote, The Life of God in the Soul of Man, in the latter part of the seventeenth century: “There is scarce a more unaccountable thing to be imagined, than to see a company of men professing a religion, one great and main precept whereof is mutual love, forbearance, gentleness of spirit, and compassion to all sorts of persons, and agreeing in all the essential parts of its doctrine, and differing only in some less material and more disputable things, yet maintaining those differences with zeal so disproportional to the value of them, and prosecuting all that disagree from them with all possible violence; or if they want means to use outward force, with all bitterness of spirit. They must needs astonish every impartial beholder, and raise great prejudices against such persons’ religion, as made up of contradictions; professing love, but breaking out in all the acts of hatred.”
Those cause us to walk in darkness; and break fellowship.
4. Conclusion
You have met someone like Mamie. She made frequent trips to the branch post office. One day the line was particularly long and ask she waited, a “helpful” observer said to her: “Why, if you are just buying stamps, you can use the machine over there and you won’t have to stand in line.”
Mamie said, “I know, but the machine doesn’t ask me about my arthritis.”
The fellowship God calls us to is not easier, but it is better. You think about that.
