Superglue #1
What’s one of the greatest yet hardest things in the world?
What’s one of the most joyful but sometimes most frustrating thing you’ll ever do?
What can give you exhilaration one day and wear you out the next?
Does anyone think they know what I’m talking about?
[2] Marriage, yes marriage. It could be the greatest relationship with another human being you’ll ever have – but it could also be the hardest.
Most people in this room have either been married, are married, or are going to be married some time in the future. It’s something that’s a part of the fabric of our society. But the fabric is tearing isn’t it!
More than half of the marriages in our country end up in divorce – and it’s no different in the church. It shouldn’t be like that! Listen to how the institution of marriage all got started some five thousand years ago.
[Read Genesis 20:20-25 and Mark 10:1-9.]
Now before we go any further let’s talk a little bit about divorce. God never intended for us to get divorced from our spouses. But there are some circumstances, outlined in the Bible, that do allow for it.
If your spouse is an unbeliever and leaves you, you aren’t bound to them any more.
If your spouse commits adultery, and you just can’t bring yourself to accept them any more, you aren’t bound to them any more.
If your spouse is endangering you or your kids, it’s time to go!
But those are extreme exceptions to the rule. God wants us to do everything in our power and in His power to stay married until one of you die. Marriage is supposed to be a permanent, heterosexual, monogamous relationship. It could be the best, earthly relationship you ever experience.
But so many of these relationships start out great and head downhill once the honeymoon is over. Millions of couples split up every day and its ripping apart the culture and the families represented.
You see, when God designed male and female, He created them as physical, emotional and spiritual beings. He created us in a way that we would fit perfectly together. And once the bond was made, it would cause the two persons to now function as one.
[Superglue illustration.]
All of us want a marriage like this. We all want to be so knit together it’s like our hearts are joined by superglue.
Now for our marriages to be bonded together like this, there are many different things that can help. Understanding each other, forgiveness, understanding our roles as men and women, forgiveness, purity, forgiveness, discipline, forgiveness, prayer, forgiveness, and did I remember to mention forgiveness?
But over the next couple weeks I want to focus on a couple of crucially important factors that can help our marriages be bonded like superglue – [3] commitment and communication. If we are totally committed and if we really communicate our marriages will be what God wants them to be.
Let’s talk about commitment. [4] Now we’ve all heard the traditional wedding vows of commitment right? They usually go something like this:
Betty Sue, do you take Junior to be your wedded husband? Do you solemnly promise before God and all these witnesses to love, honor, comfort and keep him forsaking all others for him alone? Will you perform for him all the duties a woman owes her husband as long as you both shall live? (I do.)
But what if we threw a little reality into the vows?
Betty Sue, do you take Junior to be your wedded husband? Do you solemnly promise before God and all these witnesses to love, honor, comfort and keep him forsaking all others for him alone? Will you still love him when he goes bald, is grumpy and his deodorant wears off? Will you perform for him all the duties a woman owes her husband even when he loses his job, you have to move in with your in-laws, you have no money, he likes his mom’s cooking better than yours and would rather go golfing than spend time with you? For the next 50 years?! (Huh, can I have a moment?)
Now that kind of marriage takes some commitment. But really, all marriages, if they want to be permanent like superglue, need commitment.
Do you know where real commitment comes from? True love. [5]
[Read I Corinthians 13:1-6.]
Those first six verses show us the importance of love and what real love is really
like. But the next verse shows us that true love is all about commitment.
[Read I Corinthians 13:7.] [6]
I. Superglue love always protects
‘Stego’ – to cover, to shelter, to protect
[Lisette and umbrella in the storm story.]
If we are going to really love our spouses we need to be committed to protecting them no matter the cost. Now this is more than just a macho thing; women can protect their husbands just like men can protect their wives.
Of course we can protect each other against physical harm as needed. But sometimes there are other, more harmful attacks that we can protect our spouses from.
We can protect each other’s:
Reputation
Feelings
Weaknesses
Insecurities
We need to be looking out for our spouses and be ready to protect them from whatever harm could come their way. Not only does superglue love protect, but it: [7]
II. Superglue love always trusts
‘Pisteuo’ – to have faith in, to rely upon
Now this doesn’t mean that a person believes a lie about their spouse. It’s not blind trust despite the facts. But it does mean that a person trusts their spouse. You don’t go looking for the worst, you believe in the best!
In marriage we have plenty of opportunities to find the bad in our spouses. But what if we were committed to finding the best? What if we, when we doubt them, or are confused by something, or even disappointed in them, try and find the good in the situation? No one wants to live under a cloud of suspicion all the time! And guess what, just as soon as you start to look down on your spouse, you’ll find yourself in need of forgiveness too! Superglue love always trusts!
When you give someone your trust, you not only make them feel loved and validated, but you also empower them to do good and right! If you make someone feel like they can’t be trusted, you help strengthen their defeated attitude. Why try if everyone feels like you’re just going to fail again.
Now I know, sometimes trust is betrayed. And that trust takes time to come back. But superglue love is committed to getting that trust back. Maybe not today, but maybe tomorrow. You know why? Because: [8]
III. Superglue love always hopes
‘Elpizo’ – to anticipate with pleasure
I tell you what, hope is something that can get just about anyone through just about anything! Without hope we give up. Without hope we give out. Without hope we give in. But with hope anything is possible!
[Old man in grocery store story.]
The apostle Paul spoke of this kind of hope when he said, “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.” Remember, he had been beaten, he had been poor, he had been arrested, he had been shipwrecked, and was currently in prison when he wrote those words. He knew that because of his relationship with Christ there was always hope!
When we have a personal relationship with Christ we have hope that our lives can always become like God wants them to. It goes the same with our marriages! A marriage based on Jesus and His love always has hope! We need to love like this.
When you look at your marriage’s weaknesses, don’t look at them as hopeless. Don’t reside yourself to that kind of negative thinking. Love hopes! Love doesn’t give up, settle for second best, or get complacent. Love looks ahead at what could be, what can be, what will be when Jesus is in the middle of it.
Not only does superglue love always protect, always trust and always hope: [9]
IV. Superglue love always perseveres
‘Hupomeno’ – to stay under, remain
Never give up. Stick with it. Dig in. Tough it out. Stand by your word. Just decide that commitment means forever!
We’ve become such a non-committal culture haven’t we? We can’t get a politician to tell us what they really think in case they want to change their minds. We can’t get a doctor to give us any medical advice over the phone because they don’t want to be held accountable for their advice.
We’ve got so many options and so many choices that we just think, why be committed to something that’s hard. Let’s find something easy! Let’s find something new! Let’s find something exciting! Why work when you can play?
But where does living a life of renouncing your commitments get you? Destined to relive the past over and over again. It’s a cycle that gets you nowhere!
[Allergy ‘scratch-test story.]
We need to be a people who are willing to decide that till death does us part means just that! Commitment will pay off. Do you know why? Because it’s the right thing to do. God will honor your commitment. He will bless you with a relationship that’s strong and tested, ready for the next trial.
Remember what we started out with? We started out with how superglue love always protects, or covers. And now we’re ending up with how superglue love always perseveres, or stays under.
It’s like the Lord is building a house of principles for our house of marriage. [10]
Stego is the roof of protection that watches over the marriage. [11] Pisteno and elpizo are the columns of trust and hope that hold the roof up. And [12] hupomeno is the foundation of perseverance that undergirds it all.
When you put all these elements together, you have a love that’ll hold together like superglue. [13]
[Read I Corinthians 13:8.]
We all want this out of our marriages. We want a love that’ll last. We want to be able to grow in love and in age together. [14]
[Couple testimony.]
Next week we’ll talk about how communication is one of the keys to a great marriage, but until then, how’s your commitment level? Do you have a superglue love that holds your marriage together? [15]
